Who’s struggling?

I'm not struggling. Not as such. But I've had a busy few days, had to meet a new psychiatrist yesterday and whilst it went...well? There were a lot of people in that room. Meetings and I don't mix, I always had this problem on the ward with the weekly meetings. Nope, I don't need to be part of that, but yesterday was myself, consultant (actually possibly not consultant, maybe a reg, not like I asked), care co, student doc, student nurse...and my brain finds that exhausting no matter how well it goes. She thinks I don't like her. My care co told her I just don't like doctors, it was nothing personal 😬

The boys need a clean out soon but it's not urgent-urgent, I just need a day off between this, the letting agents, and everything else. Easiest way to recharge, just sit and play games all day (with feeding for both humans and animals, and the occasional toilet and cigarette break) because it's a switch off, I don't have to think. Except it feels lazy. Lazy with a purpose, but lazy. If I don't do it tomorrow I'll crash at some point (with exhaustion, not crashing and burning) but still.
 
I’m pleased your appointment went well. Things like this are so exhausting and stressful. Who wants extra people in the room when your are discussing personal issues. I hate it when they ask if you’d mind students in the room. I want to say yes I mind. But always say it’s fine 🤦🏻‍♀️. You enjoy your computer games. Cage clean can wait a day.
 
Honestly, normally I'd let it go anyway. The ward's a significantly more stressful meeting place just by virtue of being a ward, and I knew her last appointment had said no because he was in the waiting room when we arrived. Students have gotta learn somehow and there's no point in saying yes to one and no to the other, I just wasn't expecting two.
 
Lorcan said:
Honestly, normally I'd let it go anyway. The ward's a significantly more stressful meeting place just by virtue of being a ward, and I knew her last appointment had said no because he was in the waiting room when we arrived. Students have gotta learn somehow and there's no point in saying yes to one and no to the other, I just wasn't expecting two.
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I know exactly how you feel. I had a skin condition in my twenties that was quite rare and unusual. I was sent to see a specialist in dermatology who got all excited once she had decided what I had and told me how rare it was she asked (I thought) if her student could take a look. I thought ok, why not. So there I was, laying on a bed wearing very little but a one size covers nothing NHS gown when in walked not one student doctor but a whole class of student doctors plus a junior and a registrar who all came in to see my sorry exposed flesh. And all asked to examine various patches with magnifying glasses..... :yikes: :yikes: :yikes: I was absolutely horrified but tongue tied as I had agreed to it and had to put up with the indignity. After they had all left, my consultant did apologise and say even she was surprised how many had appeared from other rooms to take a look. Lesson learned - I now ask how many student(s) are likely to be involved.
 
I have had a week that I could not have predicted and has stretched me to my limits.. A close friend contacted me to say her brother had passed away. He was only 62 and not in the best of health but no-one expected that he wouldn't be with us for years to come. She is devastated and I am gutted for her.
Shortly afterwards 5 police cars and then a search and rescue vehicle arrived in our cul de sac. A local teenage girl had gone missing the previous afternoon. They knocked on our door and asked for permission to access the woods behind our house via our garden. They also used our neighbour's access gate to the woods. The area was cordoned off and an officer posted at our gate to prevent us entering their search area. After several hours they cleared everything away and left our road. Immediately afterwards a police press release stated that they had found the missing teenager's body. She had been found in the wooded area just behind our neighbour's house. They report that there were no suspicious circumstances. This is every parent's worst nightmare. I didn't know her but I am feeling so sad about the loss of such a young life. Our whole village has been rocked by the events but I can't stop thinking about her being there within reach of ours and our neighbour's houses and wondering what we could have done to prevent the outcome. My husband keeps saying "if only..." but we acknowledge that there probably wasn't anything we could have done.
 
Wow what an awful few days for you. Such a shock when someone you know passes. 62 is no age is it? We must all try to live our best lives as you never know when it may end.

That poor teenager. I’m sorry they couldn’t get the help they needed. Such a waste of a life. There was nothing you could of done. Take care ❤️
 
I’m having a sad day about my mum today. 😢. It’s just so sad. I’ve told my husband and kids if I’m diagnosed with dementia I’m off to Dignitas. I do believe in allowing a person the choice of when they would like to leave this world for the next.
 
weepweeps said:
I’m having a sad day about my mum today. 😢. It’s just so sad. I’ve told my husband and kids if I’m diagnosed with dementia I’m off to Dignitas. I do believe in allowing a person the choice of when they would like to leave this world for the next.
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Dementia is such a cruel condition.
 
I am so sorry your family are having a hard time @weepweeps .Having seen members of my own family struggle in older age I'm hoping we have our own version of Digitas in this Country before I get too much older, it would be nice to have the right to choose.
 
weepweeps said:
I’m having a sad day about my mum today. 😢. It’s just so sad. I’ve told my husband and kids if I’m diagnosed with dementia I’m off to Dignitas. I do believe in allowing a person the choice of when they would like to leave this world for the next.
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I'm very sorry you're dealing with this, just wanted to offer my support. I know how it can feel. My grandmother has similar issues and I know it takes a toll on my mom sometimes, especially since she is the one taking care of her. I also worry for my own mother sometimes as she is getting older. I agree with you, I also hope to see the day when people can freely make that choice. I feel it is much more dignified than what some people currently have to go through.
 
h.h.lovecraft said:
I'm very sorry you're dealing with this, just wanted to offer my support. I know how it can feel. My grandmother has similar issues and I know it takes a toll on my mom sometimes, especially since she is the one taking care of her. I also worry for my own mother sometimes as she is getting older. I agree with you, I also hope to see the day when people can freely make that choice. I feel it is much more dignified than what some people currently have to go through.
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Thank you. I’m so pleased I’m not alone in feeling this way.
 
So my brother has reverted back to his vile self. Work has been interesting for a range of reasons and then today I woke up feeling really nervous about my driving lesson. I've not been this nervous about a lesson for a long time so currently trying to give myself a talking to!
 
Sar said:
So my brother has reverted back to his vile self. Work has been interesting for a range of reasons and then today I woke up feeling really nervous about my driving lesson. I've not been this nervous about a lesson for a long time so currently trying to give myself a talking to!
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Good luck for your lesson. ❤️
 
weepweeps said:
I’m having a sad day about my mum today. 😢. It’s just so sad. I’ve told my husband and kids if I’m diagnosed with dementia I’m off to Dignitas. I do believe in allowing a person the choice of when they would like to leave this world for the next.
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I’m so sorry :( wanted to offer my support and some hugs xx
 
I'm struggling as our friends are having their 12 week baby scan today. They came for new year and announced the pregnancy as she was suffering from morning sickness and not drinking.

I'm pleased for them but I always have these feelings of sadness and they're our last friends to have a baby. I'm just waiting for them to officially announce it on facebook. Infertility is no fun :(
 
Rivervixen said:
I’m so sorry :( wanted to offer my support and some hugs xx
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Thank you. I really appreciate that. Some days I’m fine and some I’m not. It’s weird. It’s like I’m grieving for her before she has gone. I’m seeing her tomorrow so that will be nice.
 
Claire W said:
I'm struggling as our friends are having their 12 week baby scan today. They came for new year and announced the pregnancy as she was suffering from morning sickness and not drinking.

I'm pleased for them but I always have these feelings of sadness and they're our last friends to have a baby. I'm just waiting for them to officially announce it on facebook. Infertility is no fun :(
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Bless you. It’s ok to feel pleased for them and sad at the same time. You’re human. It hurts.
 
weepweeps said:
I’m having a sad day about my mum today. 😢. It’s just so sad. I’ve told my husband and kids if I’m diagnosed with dementia I’m off to Dignitas. I do believe in allowing a person the choice of when they would like to leave this world for the next.
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I'm sorry that you're feeling sad. My husbands grandad has Alzheimer's and dementia and it's awful. We saw him the weekend before last for the first time in two years and he's a shadow of his former self. Just remember that your mum knows she is loved and she loves you too (((hugs)))
 
Sar said:
So my brother has reverted back to his vile self. Work has been interesting for a range of reasons and then today I woke up feeling really nervous about my driving lesson. I've not been this nervous about a lesson for a long time so currently trying to give myself a talking to!
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I'm sorry that your brother is so vile. How did your driving lesson go?
 
Claire W said:
I'm sorry that your brother is so vile. How did your driving lesson go?
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I think vileness is his normal self and the niceness is just an act. He'll push us too far one day and that day is coming.

Driving lesson was fine, I enjoyed it. My instructor is much better for me than the other one I had lessons with. We make a lesson goal at the start, evaluate at the end and I have no problem telling him I'm nervous or what I'm struggling with or stopping mid lesson to discuss something etc. He says I've made progress but I'm too hard on myself.

Have woken up to sunshine (and the wind too!) I am imagining spring, being able to buy plants for the garden and creating a riot of colour. The buds on the Christmas cactus are starting to turn pink but not sure if the whole thing looks a bit droopy. I've given it a little water this morning so maybe I put it back in the wrong position. Its older than me, I'll be so sad if it dies.
 
Sar said:
I think vileness is his normal self and the niceness is just an act. He'll push us too far one day and that day is coming.

Driving lesson was fine, I enjoyed it. My instructor is much better for me than the other one I had lessons with. We make a lesson goal at the start, evaluate at the end and I have no problem telling him I'm nervous or what I'm struggling with or stopping mid lesson to discuss something etc. He says I've made progress but I'm too hard on myself.

Have woken up to sunshine (and the wind too!) I am imagining spring, being able to buy plants for the garden and creating a riot of colour. The buds on the Christmas cactus are starting to turn pink but not sure if the whole thing looks a bit droopy. I've given it a little water this morning so maybe I put it back in the wrong position. Its older than me, I'll be so sad if it dies.
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I’m pleased you enjoyed your driving lesson. Your instructor sounds great.

I’m sorry your brother is causing you issues. Try and stay out of his way as much as you can. Enjoy the sunshine 🌞
 
Sar said:
I think vileness is his normal self and the niceness is just an act. He'll push us too far one day and that day is coming.

Driving lesson was fine, I enjoyed it. My instructor is much better for me than the other one I had lessons with. We make a lesson goal at the start, evaluate at the end and I have no problem telling him I'm nervous or what I'm struggling with or stopping mid lesson to discuss something etc. He says I've made progress but I'm too hard on myself.

Have woken up to sunshine (and the wind too!) I am imagining spring, being able to buy plants for the garden and creating a riot of colour. The buds on the Christmas cactus are starting to turn pink but not sure if the whole thing looks a bit droopy. I've given it a little water this morning so maybe I put it back in the wrong position. Its older than me, I'll be so sad if it dies.
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I am glad you have enjoyed your driving lesson and found an instructor you feel comfortable with. Sorry about your brother, I agree about staying out of his way as much as possible
 
I did a thing today, in the most backhanded way possible, because I hate asking for help and I hate sounding like I'm asking for help. After the pipe was replaced I was supposed to ring the letting agents and let them know it was done. Instead I texted my support worker and said I was shattered and she said she'd do it for me.
Ugh. I hate not doing it. There's no physical reason I can't so my brain says I can. But I am genuinely exhausted after this past week and I can't seem to get my energy back enough. Giving myself one less job is the least I can do, but I still hate it.
 
Betsy said:
If you need help @Lorcan you need help. Never be ashamed of asking for help. It's good to admit that you can't cope with stuff and good that you can recognise it. You've had a very busy few months. No wonder you're exhausted!
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Thank you. I'm...it's what they're there for I just hate doing it. I have to remind myself that the world won't end if I ask for a favour, yknow?
 
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