If it helps you, Harrison was showing signs of kidney failure for quite a few months before he passed away but Chris kept saying he was ok and wouldn’t let me take him to the vets.
We let Harrison out on the morning before we went away but he didn’t come home that night and then we left early the following day so didn’t see him. My mum came to our house to stay and found Harrison really poorly in the garden which is when she phoned the vets who recommended that she take him in straight away as an emergency. He was in acute kidney failure and the kindest thing was to have him PTS.
I will always feel guilty for not taking him to the vets sooner to get him medication so he didn’t suffer and for not being here when he died but we can’t think of the what ifs and have to think that we have them happy lives while they were here and did what we thought was best
Little knew how much you cared x