Who’s struggling?

CinnamonSmokey121 said:
@weepweeps I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum, I can't imagine how hard that is for you and your family. Sending so much love.

I come to this thread as I'm unbearably sad. Me and my family found our yesterday that my lovely Dad has terminal pancreatic cancer and is going to be on palliative care. He'd been poorly the last few weeks but none of us expected this and I'm just absolutely devasted.

Sorry to bring the heavy to this forum but everyone is always so lovely on here.
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I am so sorry that your Dad has received this diagnosis. He is lucky to have you all to support him, but I know how unbearably hard it is to stay strong. The one really positive thing to come out of a diagnosis like this, is that it gives you all time to say what you might otherwise not have had a chance to say. And hard as it is, it gives you time to make plans. I know how heart wrenching this is for you all - I lost my own Dad to a very rare form of cancer 3 years ago this month and it still feels terribly raw. The members of this forum are a wonderful support.
 
CinnamonSmokey121 said:
@weepweeps I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum, I can't imagine how hard that is for you and your family. Sending so much love.

I come to this thread as I'm unbearably sad. Me and my family found our yesterday that my lovely Dad has terminal pancreatic cancer and is going to be on palliative care. He'd been poorly the last few weeks but none of us expected this and I'm just absolutely devasted.

Sorry to bring the heavy to this forum but everyone is always so lovely on here.
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I’m so sorry to hear this @CinnamonSmokey121

Weve recently been through similar with my grandad. He suddenly became forgetful and a bit unsteady. He was so fit and active so it was very odd how he changed within days. Originally doctors thought he was a bit depressed but was suddenly not able to remember anything properly, was making little sense and rushed into hospital, diagnosed with a brain tumour and we lost him a few weeks later. It was a terrrible shock.

Sending you huge hugs
 
CinnamonSmokey121 said:
@weepweeps I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum, I can't imagine how hard that is for you and your family. Sending so much love.

I come to this thread as I'm unbearably sad. Me and my family found our yesterday that my lovely Dad has terminal pancreatic cancer and is going to be on palliative care. He'd been poorly the last few weeks but none of us expected this and I'm just absolutely devasted.

Sorry to bring the heavy to this forum but everyone is always so lovely on here.
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So very sorry to hear this news.
When you receive a terminal diagnosis it starts the bereavement process.
You are already grieving for your dad.
It sounds strange but knowing this will help you under your feelings- especially the shock that feels as if the world has just fallen apart.
Use whatever time you have left with your dad to say everything you want to say. Make some memories and treat each day as a precious gift.
And… allow yourself to grieve.
Hugs :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:
 
Betsy said:
I know how you feel, my Dad told us 16 years ago that he had bowel cancer and I was in shock for a few days. He was always positive and thought he was going to beat it, unfortunately he lost his battle not long after he told us. Its just completely awful and devastating news. Make lots of memories with your Dad and have lots of cuddles and tell him how much you love him.
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I'm sorry about your Dad, I'm glad he stayed positive but such a shame it took him. Every time I tell him I love him it makes me cry but I will, he deserves to know how special he is. X
 
Piggies&buns said:
I’m so sorry to hear this @CinnamonSmokey121

Weve recently been through similar with my grandad. He suddenly became forgetful and a bit unsteady. He was so fit and active so it was very odd how he changed within days. Originally doctors thought he was a bit depressed but was suddenly not able to remember anything properly, was making little sense and rushed into hospital, diagnosed with a brain tumour and we lost him a few weeks later. It was a terrrible shock.

Sending you huge hugs
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How horrid for you and your family, what a terrible shock. Huge hugs to you too and I hope wherever you are in your grief journey you are, you have some good days.
 
weepweeps said:
Oh I’m so sorry. I can’t image how you, your lovely dad and your family must be feeling. Such an awful shock. Palliative care doesn’t always mean the end is near does it? I really hope your dad has lots more time with you all. Take care. ❤️
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I think we're all in shock still at the moment, I can't imagine ever getting through it at the moment but I guess we have to. I don't think it does always but he's been given 6 months 😞 ❤️
 
Merab's Slave said:
So very sorry to hear this news.
When you receive a terminal diagnosis it starts the bereavement process.
You are already grieving for your dad.
It sounds strange but knowing this will help you under your feelings- especially the shock that feels as if the world has just fallen apart.
Use whatever time you have left with your dad to say everything you want to say. Make some memories and treat each day as a precious gift.
And… allow yourself to grieve.
Hugs :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:
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Thank you, that actually makes so much sense - a part of me feels awful for being sad like he's already gone but I guess that's the grief starting.

Thank you for the hugs, I'm needing lots at the moment. ❤️
 
VickiA said:
I am so sorry that your Dad has received this diagnosis. He is lucky to have you all to support him, but I know how unbearably hard it is to stay strong. The one really positive thing to come out of a diagnosis like this, is that it gives you all time to say what you might otherwise not have had a chance to say. And hard as it is, it gives you time to make plans. I know how heart wrenching this is for you all - I lost my own Dad to a very rare form of cancer 3 years ago this month and it still feels terribly raw. The members of this forum are a wonderful support.
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Thank you. I feel for him he's glad to have this time as he's very much a practical person and wants to make plans like you say, he is already worrying about how my mum will mow the lawn bless him and doesn't seem worried about the illness as much!

I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad, I can only imagine not a day passes when you don't think about him. This forum has been so lovely and I feel like the people on here are all kindred spirits ❤️
 
CinnamonSmokey121 said:
Thank you. I feel for him he's glad to have this time as he's very much a practical person and wants to make plans like you say, he is already worrying about how my mum will mow the lawn bless him and doesn't seem worried about the illness as much!

I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad, I can only imagine not a day passes when you don't think about him. This forum has been so lovely and I feel like the people on here are all kindred spirits ❤️
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Your Dad sounds like an absolute treasure. And one of the best ways you can support him is by listening to him, helping to address his worries about how your Mum will cope with practical issues, and helping him put any plans into place. I know that I had some very precious conversations with my Dad once he knew what he was facing. It was exceptionally hard to discuss some of his concerns with him, but we were able to break some of the big ones down into smaller ones and put practical steps in place. This gave him peace of mind that when the end came there would be less for my Mum (and us as his Exectuors) to deal with. This time is very precious x
 
Very low energy and mood lately :( struggling to get out of bed again. Anxiety and depression especially paired together is horrible!
 
Rivervixen said:
Very low energy and mood lately :( struggling to get out of bed again. Anxiety and depression especially paired together is horrible!
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Some days are harder than others. Try and take it easy for a few days. Do the essential stuff and leave everything else. Don’t feel bad about leaving things for a few days. Take care 🤗
 
I’ve put this in the rant thread but I will also put it here.

Some of you may or may not know that I was diagnosed with non epileptic attack disorder back in August. The original neurologist who diagnosed me referred me to a neuropsychologist at Airedale hospital but the referral was rejected as I live outside the area. Since then, it has been a constant battle.

I found out yesterday that Salford hospital have now rejected the referral to see a neuropsychologist :( So that’s Airedale hospital, Preston hospital and now Salford all rejected the referrals and apparently they’re the only 3 hospitals I can be referred to so I am throughly fed up and stressed out. It would seem that nobody wants to help me :(

My GP is phoning me on Wednesday but she’s not holding out much hope that she can help me much :( I just don’t know what to do as I can’t afford to go private. My seizures in the meantime are getting worse. I’ve been suffering from them for nearly 4 years now but didn’t know what they were until recently.

I thought I was finally getting somewhere finally having a diagnosis and being referred for treatment but what am I to do when nobody will offer the treatment?
 
Claire W said:
I’ve put this in the rant thread but I will also put it here.

Some of you may or may not know that I was diagnosed with non epileptic attack disorder back in August. The original neurologist who diagnosed me referred me to a neuropsychologist at Airedale hospital but the referral was rejected as I live outside the area. Since then, it has been a constant battle.

I found out yesterday that Salford hospital have now rejected the referral to see a neuropsychologist :( So that’s Airedale hospital, Preston hospital and now Salford all rejected the referrals and apparently they’re the only 3 hospitals I can be referred to so I am throughly fed up and stressed out. It would seem that nobody wants to help me :(

My GP is phoning me on Wednesday but she’s not holding out much hope that she can help me much :( I just don’t know what to do as I can’t afford to go private. My seizures in the meantime are getting worse. I’ve been suffering from them for nearly 4 years now but didn’t know what they were until recently.

I thought I was finally getting somewhere finally having a diagnosis and being referred for treatment but what am I to do when nobody will offer the treatment?
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That’s really awful. What was the reason the other two won’t see you? See what the doctor says on Wednesday. The stress of this isn’t going to help with the episodes is it? Try and keep calm and hopefully your doctor will have a plan. 🤞
 
weepweeps said:
That’s really awful. What was the reason the other two won’t see you? See what the doctor says on Wednesday. The stress of this isn’t going to help with the episodes is it? Try and keep calm and hopefully your doctor will have a plan. 🤞
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Thank you. I’m not sure why Preston rejected it. All I can think of is that they have too many people to see? The GP told me that there’s a 57 week wait to see a neurologist almost everywhere in the Country. I’m not sure why Salford have rejected it. And you’re right, the stress is making the episodes worse :(
 
Claire W said:
Thank you. I’m not sure why Preston rejected it. All I can think of is that they have too many people to see? The GP told me that there’s a 57 week wait to see a neurologist almost everywhere in the Country. I’m not sure why Salford have rejected it. And you’re right, the stress is making the episodes worse :(
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Hope your GP can give you a reason for the rejections and push for you to be accepted somewhere.
 
I'm nearly at rock bottom today.

Things have reached a new low at home, it's end of the road - do something time. I think I know what we have to/need to do but it's not going to be easy. I'm scared it will open a huge can of worms and could change things for the worse but then I'm not sure how it can get worse. We are going to take the first step tomorrow, get advice at least and go from there. Maybe it's not too late.

Lots of things seem to be piling up and I have no one to talk to about them. People started drifting away and replacing me a long time ago. Now with the situation at home, I almost keep them at arms length due to fear and embarrassment.

26 days into January, I haven't achieved anything. The only thing I am managing is my weekly face mask and foot scrub (which is quite therapeutic even if it proves how awful my feet are). Also my driving lesson - I still beat myself up, still panic I've forgotten everything, still notice random things in the distance/ on the route, still talk to myself as I drive along. I feel though I have made a small step of process though and I managed to stop before I hit the person that casually walked right out in front of me last week! I was driving outside a school at home time and the road was crammed with cars, so had already slowed down a little from the 20mph limit. My new instructor tells me I'm not a lost cause with manual but I beat myself up too much about it...
 
Hello @Sar. I’m so sorry you are feeling so low at the moment. I’m sending you a massive hug 🤗.

There were so many positives in your message:

1. You know something needs to change. Sometimes things will be worse before they get better. But that’s no reason not to change things. Good luck getting advice today.

2. You are taking the time to pamper yourself. Keep doing that. It’s sounds so relaxing.

3. Well done on keeping up with your driving lessons. It’s not easy. I hate driving. But it’s a great skill to have so don’t give up. Try some relaxation and positive thinking before your lessons.

You say you have no one to talk to. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stranger anyway. There are telephone helplines you could try.

Your friends are still there. Reach out to them. Maybe they are waiting for you to acknowledge the issues so they can help.

If you haven’t already I’d advise speaking to your doctor. I was really low last year and was struggling on and on and it’s was so exhausting. I got some meds and I’m feeling much better. Also the nice weather will be here soon. And that always makes everything a little better.

I hope you are feeling a bit better today. Good luck. I hope you get the advice you need.
 
Claire W said:
Thank you. I’m not sure why Preston rejected it. All I can think of is that they have too many people to see? The GP told me that there’s a 57 week wait to see a neurologist almost everywhere in the Country. I’m not sure why Salford have rejected it. And you’re right, the stress is making the episodes worse :(
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So sorry you’re still having such trouble with neurologists and hospitals Claire, I’m six months overdue with my usual 10 monthly appointments atm. They’re definitely busy everywhere, but that’s a horrendous waiting time being passed from hospital to hospital not knowing what’s going on! Really hope you can get it sorted soon. Sending big hugs from us lot xx
 
alpacasqueak said:
So sorry you’re still having such trouble with neurologists and hospitals Claire, I’m six months overdue with my usual 10 monthly appointments atm. They’re definitely busy everywhere, but that’s a horrendous waiting time being passed from hospital to hospital not knowing what’s going on! Really hope you can get it sorted soon. Sending big hugs from us lot xx
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Thank you. It’s such a nightmare :( I actually managed to email somebody from Salford’s neuropsychology department who said they hadn’t received the referral so god knows who my GP referred me too! Anyway, GP has now referred me to the neuropsychology department so now I’ve got to wait and see whether they’ll accept me so more stress.

Sorry you’re 6 months overdue. It’s really bad isn’t it :( xx
 
Claire W said:
Thank you. It’s such a nightmare :( I actually managed to email somebody from Salford’s neuropsychology department who said they hadn’t received the referral so god knows who my GP referred me too! Anyway, GP has now referred me to the neuropsychology department so now I’ve got to wait and see whether they’ll accept me so more stress.

Sorry you’re 6 months overdue. It’s really bad isn’t it :( xx
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Thank you, I dread to think how many people are in the same position! 🙈

Oh that’s good news then (but how annoying it didn’t happen in the first place! 🙄), will keep everything crossed you hear from them soon with good news. Try not to worry too much, at least they’ve actually got your info now! :hug:xx
 
Claire W said:
Thank you. It’s such a nightmare :( I actually managed to email somebody from Salford’s neuropsychology department who said they hadn’t received the referral so god knows who my GP referred me too! Anyway, GP has now referred me to the neuropsychology department so now I’ve got to wait and see whether they’ll accept me so more stress.

Sorry you’re 6 months overdue. It’s really bad isn’t it :( xx
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Fingers crossed for Salford 🤞
 
alpacasqueak said:
So sorry you’re still having such trouble with neurologists and hospitals Claire, I’m six months overdue with my usual 10 monthly appointments atm. They’re definitely busy everywhere, but that’s a horrendous waiting time being passed from hospital to hospital not knowing what’s going on! Really hope you can get it sorted soon. Sending big hugs from us lot xx
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Hope you get seen soon.
 
@weepweeps Thanks for the tag and thinking of me.

Pleased to report the surgery went well - the surgeon did a superb job. I also had the fantastic news yesterday that the lymph nodes they removed are all clear so that's me 1 and cancer 0!

I spent a bit longer in hospital than originally expected and had a few problems with pain management. But it all got sorted and I've been home since Monday. Very pleased to have my own bed back!

Recovery is going well...just got to remember to take things slowly. My husband is being a fantastic nurse, chef, cleaner and zoo keeper - very lucky to have him.

Hope you're doing ok too x
 
That’s brilliant news. I’m so pleased for you. Don’t rush your recovery. Take things easy. Your husband sounds amazing. 😍. Take care. ❤️
 
CV26 said:
@weepweeps Thanks for the tag and thinking of me.

Pleased to report the surgery went well - the surgeon did a superb job. I also had the fantastic news yesterday that the lymph nodes they removed are all clear so that's me 1 and cancer 0!

I spent a bit longer in hospital than originally expected and had a few problems with pain management. But it all got sorted and I've been home since Monday. Very pleased to have my own bed back!

Recovery is going well...just got to remember to take things slowly. My husband is being a fantastic nurse, chef, cleaner and zoo keeper - very lucky to have him.

Hope you're doing ok too x
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Pleased everything is OK. Did they take out the first 2 lymph nodes? They did with my friend. Sorry if this is a bit personal and you don't need to answer if you don't want!
 
CV26 said:
@weepweeps Thanks for the tag and thinking of me.

Pleased to report the surgery went well - the surgeon did a superb job. I also had the fantastic news yesterday that the lymph nodes they removed are all clear so that's me 1 and cancer 0!

I spent a bit longer in hospital than originally expected and had a few problems with pain management. But it all got sorted and I've been home since Monday. Very pleased to have my own bed back!

Recovery is going well...just got to remember to take things slowly. My husband is being a fantastic nurse, chef, cleaner and zoo keeper - very lucky to have him.

Hope you're doing ok too x
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Fabulous news that your surgery went well and your nodes are clear. Such a relief for you. Now to focus on your recovery. Accept all the help you can get - your body has been through the wars so don’t be tempted to try too much too soon x
 
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