The Goblin Diaries (previously Quitting Smoking)

I had a bath last night, the popping and clicking my back was doing was amazing but my back was always like that. Just easier to do it in the bath because of the floating / buoyancy.
 
Lorcan said:
33 days! Raining today so no garden work but I'm waiting on a parcel so I'm stuck downstairs anyway so I can hear the door lol. I suppose I could try tidying the house?

Or I could just sit here on the sofa, there's always that.
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You can just let Bann and Camowen entertain you. :)
 
I find I have to build up slowly these days when gardening season comes round. When I was younger I could just spend all day doing heavy work straight off. If I forget to pace myself I pay for it for a few days.
Well done on the smoking front @Lorcan you will feel a whole lot better for giving up and have loads more money to spend on Bann and Camowen!
Forget the tidying it will wait, you deserve a rest after all that gardening. I can't help feeling that dangerous shed should have been sorted by the Landlord before the house was re let.
 
piggieminder said:
I find I have to build up slowly these days when gardening season comes round. When I was younger I could just spend all day doing heavy work straight off. If I forget to pace myself I pay for it for a few days.
Well done on the smoking front @Lorcan you will feel a whole lot better for giving up and have loads more money to spend on Bann and Camowen!
Forget the tidying it will wait, you deserve a rest after all that gardening. I can't help feeling that dangerous shed should have been sorted by the Landlord before the house was re let.
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See, it's complicated, because I don't rent direct. I rent from the housing association, the housing association from the landlord.

However

The shed doesn't belong to the HA. It belongs to the landlord. To pull the shed out means needing to replace it with something else and I can imagine nobody's wanted to put the time or money into a shed they're going to lose the minute they move out, and the landlord won't do anything with it because as far as they're concerned, they're not directly leasing out the property. It's the same reason I have single glazing windows needing replaced, a door needing replaced, and a central heating system that's older than I am. The landlord doesn't want to put in the effort (also none of my neighbours like him or the letting agents, which I think is a fair guide to how useful they are. Or aren't.) so nothing gets done. Until they have to spend over £300 on the drains because they let a plumbing issue spiral out of control.

ETA: Since I've started all of my neighbours have said the same things at one point or another. I shouldn't be responsible for the state of the garden because that's the landlord's job, and I shouldn't be responsible for having to deal with the shed. Same thing. But we all agree it's pointless waiting to see if he'll do anything, because he'll do precisely nothing.
 
Well done to you! It is a tough thing - I only know indirectly as I had relatives who smoked. Well done for persisting 😍
 
37 days!

my spider roommates Ser Spider and Ser Skinny Spider both disappeared yesterday after staying in the same place for several days. I'm not a massive spider fan and I do prefer it if they stay out of sight because then I don't know they're there, but I knew these two were there so they had to go somewhere and I didn't want to find a spider in my bed at 3am, y'know?

Well, Ser Skinny Spider is still MIA, but I think I found Ser Spider! I said hello, told them I'd missed them and I'd wondered where they'd gone, and I hoped they'd stick around a bit longer. And then without skipping a beat turned round and told Camowen that having a conversation with a house spider wasn't weird at all and to stop looking at me like that.

And yet they trust me to live alone...:))
 
I wish I could say today was 39, but it is not, because I had a cigarette today. Regretted it as soon as I lit it but kept smoking it because I wanted to remember just how awful it tasted for next time I think it's a good idea. I can't believe I smoked that stuff for years, seriously. And then, if ever there was a sign from a higher power, on my way back inside I stood on a slug and didn't notice til my boot slipped on the floor. Steel toe workboots don't slip unless there is a puddle that was once a slug on the sole.

Tomorrow, I start again. I'm annoyed at myself but also I now know I can do it. Here goes nothing.
 
piggieminder said:
That one didn't count, you are still doing well.
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I had debated starting my countdown again from the beginning but I won't. I get that probably seems like cheating but I hated every second of it. So yesterday wasn't day 39, but today will be (except at 11.45, not right now), and now I know I don't want another.

poggle said:
It's only a problem if you let that be a reason to give up. Keep going!
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I think if I'd enjoyed it in any way I might be having second thoughts. The first few days have been the hardest every time I've tried quitting but now I know I've made it 38 days on the trot, I know I can make it another 38 days on the trot. Only thing I'm quitting now is the cigarettes.
 
The important thing is to keep looking forward and not use this small slip up as an excuse.
You are doing an amazing job, and honestly I don't know many people who just gave up and never had another cigarette ever again.
Sometimes the small reminder of how awful it really is, is just what we need to keep moving forwards.

I smoked menthol cigarettes for years, and in my head was convinced they made my breath smell minty because that was how they tasted.:eek:
It was only after going up and having a menthol cigarette on a night out in a pub (yes, I am old enough to remember being able to smoke in pubs) that I realised how awful they smelt and tasted!
 
I suppose something to consider is why did you have that smoke? Is there an activity that is so inextricably linked that you need to think about how you cut that tie? Or was it an experiment to see if you still wanted it? In which case you have proved you don't and that is that, absolute quitdom lies ahead.

Keep going, 38 steps forward and a tiny little, what 8cm step back? Keep going!
 
Swissgreys said:
The important thing is to keep looking forward and not use this small slip up as an excuse.
You are doing an amazing job, and honestly I don't know many people who just gave up and never had another cigarette ever again.
Sometimes the small reminder of how awful it really is, is just what we need to keep moving forwards.

I smoked menthol cigarettes for years, and in my head was convinced they made my breath smell minty because that was how they tasted.:eek:
It was only after going up and having a menthol cigarette on a night out in a pub (yes, I am old enough to remember being able to smoke in pubs) that I realised how awful they smelt and tasted!
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I also remember smoking in pubs :bal: although I don't believe I was old enough to smoke in pubs/bars/clubs for long. I do remember some snarky nurse asking me if I was aware menthols were just as bad for me as normal cigarettes, because I generally didn't smoke them but they were all the shop had at the time. My response to that isn't actually repeatable in polite company but went something along the lines of "what sort of an idiot do you think I am exactly".

Maybe I've just been ruined by the vapes tasting great though. All this stuff about how the liquids only taste like fruit and sweets because "they want to hook in the children" and here I am trying one designed to taste like cherry and lime cola. Turns out I don't like lime flavoured liquid but at least I got to try it!

Five minutes to go but I'm calling it early. It's 39 days. I'm no longer trying to convince myself to quit smoking - I'm working on convincing myself I don't need the cigarettes.
 
Tigermoth said:
I suppose something to consider is why did you have that smoke? Is there an activity that is so inextricably linked that you need to think about how you cut that tie? Or was it an experiment to see if you still wanted it? In which case you have proved you don't and that is that, absolute quitdom lies ahead.

Keep going, 38 steps forward and a tiny little, what 8cm step back? Keep going!
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I had no good reason for rolling that cigarette which tells me I only did it because I could, which is also the reason I forced myself to finish it. If it'd been stress, or anxiety, or after food, anything else then maybe I'd have an excuse but it was none of those. And that's why I'm choosing not to get too annoyed at myself for it - it was a blip rather than anything indicative of a pattern.
 
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