The Goblin Diaries (previously Quitting Smoking)

Thanks everyone. I'm feeling a bit better, I know my mum's upset. She was saying she was looking forward to having Nan and John over in the summer. She's been expecting to be ambivalent about him after what had happened (like, way back in the late 80s/early 90s, long enough back I'm too young to remember most of it) and then after June, changed her tune about him entirely. I can't imagine how Nan's feeling at all, I think John's the first person she's been with since my Grandad died and that's maybe 15 years ago.
Last time I had such a physical reaction to someone dying unexpectedly was when Xen died, and I'd forgotten just how physically painful it could be. But today is #50.
 
Just catching up as we have been away for a few days. Really sorry to hear about the sad loss of John. Unexpected bereavement is a very difficult thing to process, so be kind to yourself. Sending a big hug from us and the piggies. xx
 
Thank you everyone. I'm not quite sure where my head's at and I've no idea what I did to my collarbone and shoulder...it's muscular and it'll work itself out, thank heavens for Deep Freeze, eh? I've put off most face to face appointments, they require people energy I just don't possess right now. I feel like I'm probably worrying them more with my repeated insistences I'm fine, but I am fine, just really very tired. Still haven't managed the cage either, although the fleece is dry, they do have freshly clean beds, enough hay to feed an army, water, and extra pellets because I overturned the bag and while Cam freaked out Bann was on the escapee pellets within seconds and I wasn't gonna risk those teeth, lol.
 
Just catching up. So sorry that you’ve had an unexpected loss. You can never be fully prepared for a loss or second guess what your reaction to it will be. So it’s no surprise that it caught you out and you had a smoking wobble. Well done for getting back on it, though.
 
VickiA said:
Just catching up. So sorry that you’ve had an unexpected loss. You can never be fully prepared for a loss or second guess what your reaction to it will be. So it’s no surprise that it caught you out and you had a smoking wobble. Well done for getting back on it, though.
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Aye. Thank you - could be doing with that being the last one for a while, though. 3 deaths in six months is quite enough.
 
Lorcan said:
Today is #51.

Nan texted me this morning to say thank you. I think she's doing okay. Upset, missing him - well, him and Grandad both I think. Can't say I blame her.
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Congrats on day 51! Hope you're doing what you can to take care of yourself.
 
I genuinely thought, when I started this, I'd get maybe a couple of days, max. That's all I ever had before, just a few days. And now...vaping isn't well understood and I get it, people think it's as bad or worse than smoking, or they think it's just another form of smoking, but without it I'd still be rolling with tobacco.
Someone snarkily told me, back at the start, that not only was vaping almost as bad as smoking but I'd end up just buying a load of gear because I could. I did. But I didn't do it because I could, I did it to spite them.

And it really, really isn't as dangerous as smoking, nor is it another form of smoking.
 
I did smoking cessation in my previous job Lorcan and you are right it’s not the same as smoking. We don’t know the long term effects but what we do know is you will live longer if you vape than you would if you smoked. It does not cause the same effects as smoking.
So well done you ….. you’ve achieved so much in these 55 days. You should feel proud of yourself as I know how hard it is to stop smoking ! We are all behind you supporting you 👍
 
Good for you. Sorry for your recent loss and extra well done for carrying on with your non smoking plan.
 
I mean, I know I didn't quit for this reason, but my Grandad (Nan's husband) died of cancer from smoking. Had his bladder removed, was in remission or whatever for some time and he'd quit before having his bladder removed, but then years later he had a growth in his oesophagus and never came round from the surgery.
My uncle (by marriage, not blood, but same side of the family) went with cancer too, and he'd also quit at the first diagnosis. First it was his stomach, but not long after he had to have most of a lung removed too.
John was also a smoker who'd quit (although it's not what killed him). My other aunt and uncle on that side of the family were smokers though I think they've quit, god only knows because none of us speak to them, heh.
Dad's side, one sister and his brother in law (her husband) smoke, as does my cousin.

Honestly if it wasn't for surgery I'd probably still be smoking. I know, no date yet, and they'll probably whinge about me vaping as much as smoking, but it's still the only reason I took the first step.
 
Roselina said:
Great Lorcan day 57 !
Funny but I have a demon washing machine as well !
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Mine's a menace, not helped by it not actually being on a solid floor. I don't know when the floor was screwed up but at some point the cellar entrance got moved (but not the steps to the entrance, which doesn't help) so the solid floor ends right before the area the washing machine sits on and the vibrations get sent throughout the house. Sit on the bed in the pigs room and you can still feel it.

The neighbours tell me it doesn't bother them but I don't believe a word of it, it backs on to one of their walls and they've got to be able to notice it. Getting it balanced is a nightmare, it was fixed for a bit but then the kitchen got flooded and it needed moved out so I could mop below it. But putting something heavy (like a decently weighted laundry basket) on top of the cellar door seems to counter the weight well. But the fridge is on the same flooring as the machine and I am not going near it during the rinse and spin cycles. Not a chance.
 
Weird isn’t it ? Mine is on a concrete floor but I can feel the vibrations in my sitting room next door ( also concrete floor) the washing machine guy said it happens when the washing machine is not full up, so I’ve tried filling it right up and it has made a difference. Weird machines !
 
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