The Goblin Diaries (previously Quitting Smoking)

"Bann?" Silence.
"Bann." Bed twitch.
"Anytime today, Bann." Squeak.
"Aye. That's you." Head poking out of bed.
"It's right there, Bann." Shrieking.

You could almost see the lightbulb go off above his head, lol. Bann doesn't want to be late for lunch, Cam might eat it all on him.
 
I could hear annoyed shrieks from the other room, but it was annoyed shrieks from one goblin only, there were no replies. You all know where this is going.

So I stood at the doorway and watched. Bann, the shrieker, was indeed shrieking at the bed with his front half through the doorway and an angry wiggly bum outside of it. And when I said, "Stop yelling at the beds!" Cam poked his head out of the doorway of the other bed. Bann scuttled out of the bed backwards and stood parallel to it...still shrieking, but now at the room and not just a bed.

He does this on purpose. There's no other logical explanation that works.
 
Oh, Bann.

I went downstairs with headphones on (hooray for Bluetooth), get back upstairs just as the song changes to this. No apologies for the earworm, btw. No sign of either bed shifting so that's fine, I'll just gently toss the last of the celery to the cage floor and I did, I sat back, and I waited. Just as my leg started tapping out a rhythm, and bearing in mind I couldn't actually hear anything else, but I could feel Bann's panicked OH %^&* screams in my head, as he ran out, stabbed himself in the face with some hay, and then sat eating his celery prize glaring at me once more.

And I'm still not sure if it's because he hates the leg dancing or if he thinks it's my fault he stabbed himself with hay.
 
The goblins have spent all day now only eating maybe half of their fresh food. Are they ill, you might ask? Well I wondered the same thing, but apparently they are not. It's just the food's all the way over on the far side of the cage and they don't want to waste precious energy going to get it.

Sheesh.
 
What gets me is they'll get their food tossed around them (not on them, just around!) and then what they'll do is they'll both start moving through the food in the same direction so whatever ends up behind them as they move gets abandoned because apparently food only sits on the west side of the cage and not the east 🤨
 
Cam does this thing occasionally where he can't quite hide his excitement that I'm there. I mean I know he's looking fed but when he's not being an ASBO delinquent he's really quite sweet. He'll sort of...bounce? Not popcorn, just enthusiastic movement that looks like a bounce.

On a human note I opened a bottle of cider and drank half of it before thinking "hmm, that's hitting a bit hard". Well yes, it's 8.2% cider, of course it does :bal:
 
Argh. Twenty minutes. Twenty minutes of panicked "Cam what's wrong why are you squeaking like that what's going on what hurts are you in pain tell me!" only to discover...it wasn't Cam. It was Bann.

It was Bann arguing with his bed again. I need a drink. :flag:
 
At lunchtime today Cam met the guy who was here to measure out the windows and door (who knows, maybe the replacement shenanigans are almost over?). There's just one little, teeny, tiny problem with this:

Cam did not want to meet the guy who was here to measure the windows.

I mean, I tried, but he kept moving about in the bed and I was worried about something falling off the windowsill and ended up holding him for safety's sake. And then the guy had the nerve to say he was a mouse! He's a little too big to be a mouse tyvm, but the guy was adamant. And then asked if he could see his face "to be sure" but Cam, again, had other ideas and instead kept burrowing his head into my chest. The nerve!

The guy did apologise for calling him a mouse though, lol.

And, lest you think Cam might be psychologically scarred by the whole thing, once the guy left and I came back upstairs he was bouncing all over the cage. Ah, to be a guinea pig lol.
 
Omg what an insult Cam - our lovely Cam called a mouse grrrrrr
Cam could obviously tell he was useless …..except at measuring doors and windows tho……..😂 ( he’s an expert at that !)
 
fluffysal said:
thinks mice are the size of Cam
Click to expand...

See, this is what got me. Okay you can maybe account for him not knowing Cam's a skinny OR that skinnies exist and maybe he didn't realise Cam was grey AND pink and not just one or the other but...really. They don't make mice Cam sized and this is something I'm always grateful for.
 
Lorcan said:
See, this is what got me. Okay you can maybe account for him not knowing Cam's a skinny OR that skinnies exist and maybe he didn't realise Cam was grey AND pink and not just one or the other but...really. They don't make mice Cam sized and this is something I'm always grateful for.
Click to expand...
At least he didn't call Cam an R.O.U.S. !
 
Back on Sunday I realised at about 6.30am (when I also hadn't slept all night lol, but that was deliberate) that I didn't have much food in the house. Not for me, definitely not for the goblins before I could get more on Friday. So, in the time honoured way that is last minute "Oh ****" panicking I got a Tesco order, for that same Sunday evening, with...salad. I needed stuff that would definitely turn up so for the first time in months, there's been salad in the house.

Today I decided okay, I'll give them some salad. I'm sure they'll love having it back again, it's been so long. Right? ...right?!

If you can tell where the trouble's going to come from, then feel free to ignore the next sentence.

Oh, Bann.

So I drop salad into the cage and Cam's out of bed and on it like a shot. And he eats. And he moves to the next piece. And he eats. And this goes on for a few pieces while the entire time I'm sitting there like, "Bann. Bann. Bann! Bann. Bann? ...Bann? Bann!" and despite having already seen him this morning I'm genuinely thinking the worst at this point so I start folding t-shirts on my bed to ignore the distinct lack of anything coming from Bann's bed until, right down to the last couple of pieces of rocket, he finally twigs that he's missed lunch and launched himself out of that bed in a way even Meatloaf's bat out of hell routine couldn't match.

And he looks at me as he eats, almost in an injured way, "Why didn't you bring up enough food for both of us?!"

Why indeed, Bann. Why indeed.
 
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