The Goblin Diaries (previously Quitting Smoking)

Dear Miss Bramble,

I appreciate your reply and your support. It took 4 months to get a replacement recycling bin, so I'm not expecting anything miraculous from them any time soon.

This is a surprise for the goblins, so I haven't told them yet, but after your message earlier I wondered if there was anything I could do for them to ease their plight...so to speak. So today when I was going to buy replacement wire cutters from Amazon...I also ended up buying two carrot cottages, and two trays of soft drinks for me so they can have the cardboard tray to play with (it's one of their favourite things!).

Yours in appreciation,
Lorcán.
 
Ah Cam and Bann have got you well trained Lorcan 😂…… and well done to Miss Bramble for the checks and support 🥰
You really do look after your union members 😊🐛🐛🐛
 
Roselina said:
Ah Cam and Bann have got you well trained Lorcan 😂…… and well done to Miss Bramble for the checks and support 🥰
You really do look after your union members 😊🐛🐛🐛
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Dear @Roselina

It's what any good Union Rep would do.

Yours delighted that you're happy with the service I provide to Forum piggies

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
 
Bann is unimpressed with me.

See, today was Bin Day, and earlier I brought back my bin and the last of my neighbours. Cut to ten minutes ago and I realise it's almost dark and their food waste caddy was out too and I just left it there. Oops. Okay. Went to go grab it and it's chucking it down, so when I got back inside I felt a need to get out of my jeans and hoodie and hang them over a door to dry. So far, so good.

Bann, apparently, doesn't think I need to get changed during the day. Apparently that should be first thing in the morning and last thing at night only.

🤨

Well, fine. I found him a chunk of pepper he forgot to eat earlier. That'll keep him happy! Oh wait. He's finished before I am. And now I have nothing to placate him with.

Sigh. I'm truly living the life here.
 
Thankfully no, no boar glue at all. Although they'd have to be close enough to each other for that to happen and they avoid getting close enough, 90% of the time. And the other 10% they're either asleep, or cold, or asleep and cold. Turns out goblins will put up with each other when they want to share some body heat.
 
Lorcan said:
Ah, boars. You've gotta love 'them.
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I do miss my boars but not the cleaning of the boar bits that was a bit stinky :vom: and as Silver Fox Christian couldn't clean himself of remove sperm rods because of his spinal arthritis the Slave got that delightful privilege! I never had to sort out his brother Cutey Pie Dennis.
 
I seem to have been very lucky in the boar department. Just one with impaction 🤢.
 
Oh, Bann. He got out of bed for his pepper once he realised I actually had food (why is it they're never on the ball about getting food when I actually have it, and then when I don't, they're displeased before I've even sat down on the bed?!) but, for some reason, chose to eat it outside the bed instead.

Cut to Cam, who was even slower on the uptake, realised I had food, had to back into the bed to stretch and yawn (no, I don't know either) and then, instead of coming to me, realised Bann's pepper was closer. Bann tried to run into bed with it but, too late, Cam's got it and skedaddled.
 
The goblins think I've lost it.

I go to YouTube occasionally to find new songs, or new versions of songs I know. Youtube's not great at the first but it does the second pretty well and somehow, today, I ended up...here. The goblins aren't fans, lol.
 
Lorcan said:
The goblins think I've lost it.

I go to YouTube occasionally to find new songs, or new versions of songs I know. Youtube's not great at the first but it does the second pretty well and somehow, today, I ended up...here. The goblins aren't fans, lol.
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I’m in their camp 😁
 
Lorcan said:
The goblins think I've lost it.

I go to YouTube occasionally to find new songs, or new versions of songs I know. Youtube's not great at the first but it does the second pretty well and somehow, today, I ended up...here. The goblins aren't fans, lol.
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I loved that ….Royal Republic ⭐️
 
Lorcan said:
The goblins think I've lost it.

I go to YouTube occasionally to find new songs, or new versions of songs I know. Youtube's not great at the first but it does the second pretty well andO somehow, today, I ended up...here. The goblins aren't fans, lol.
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Original and imaginative lyrics!
 
Betsy said:
Original and imaginative lyrics!
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Yeah that one's all about the beat I had stuck in my head last night, lol. Serves me right for listening to it so often. I think this one is the first one I ever heard of theirs (which also, incidentally, got stuck in my head afterwards), but that energy they have on stage is energy they've had in any gig I've seen them do and in most of their music videos. They're also an odd choice to play Bloodstock although the crowd were clearly loving it, they said at one point during that set "You might ask what's a heavy metal guitar doing in a Swedish pop quartet? I mean, what the hell is a Swedish pop quartet doing on stage at Bloodstock?"

Mad respect for those guys honestly. They kill it every time no matter where they're at, on stage at a music festival, or on stage in a pub.
 
"My name is Camowen. I am a guinea pig. I am a very clever guinea pig. I have dragged some paper to cover the end of a bendy log bridge. I have hidden myself entirely, I am so clever, the Human will never know I'm here. I will stay here forever. It is foolproof. Nobody will ever know I'm here. Nothing will move me from my hiding plac...oh wait is that mint? Oh hi! Mint is great!" (pause) "...maybe next time."
 
I mean I jest, but it's a pretty accurate description of what happened from my point of view, lol. I was lying on the bed and I heard the paper being shifted and when I got off the bed, I was trying to work out (without getting to floor level) if a pig was actually there or not. Sure enough I could see a dark outline and Bann popped his nose out of bed to see if I had food, so I knew which pig.

But he stayed there for some time, just not moving. It was only when I brought the mint into the room and reached the grids that he moved at all, lol. He moved with some speed though, can't be letting Bann have all the mint. Bann can have all the pellets and pea flakes, but he can't have all the mint. 🤷‍♂️
 
Oh, Bann.

The goblins have been grumpy and refusing to get out of bed, so I thought I'd change things up a little. I sliced up a pepper (bell pepper, Tesco were out of the wee 'uns) put it in the base of a cardboard drinks tray, and stuffed hay into the box on top. Moved things around a little in the cage to give the box some room.
And they knew. As soon as I left the cage they were out and looking. Cam got it very quickly, a little running around trying to work out where he could smell the tasty pepper and then nose straight in and he had his first slice.
Bann...
Bann was Bann. Ran around the cage, tracing his route, running basically in circles, making confused squeaking noises the entire time. Cam was on his second piece of pepper, Bann was still running around the place, Bann watched Cam retrieve another piece...and still didn't get it.

I wheeze-laughed so hard I think I pulled a muscle in my ribcage. I love him to bits but flippin' heck.
 
Bless them, especially Bann, he can't help it he was born that way, perhaps he has a poor sense of smell.
 
Yeah I've been thinking for a while his sense of smell might be a bit off, but he can definitely smell something at least. He might take a bit longer to find the food if it's not right in front of his nose but he's not normally this inept at finding his dinner. I was half expecting him to tip the tray over, which is what he usually does, but the running around the cage while Cam was eating pepper...

"Go left. No, don't look at me. Left. See where Cam is? That's where you can smell the food? Go left. No, not through the tunnel. Fine. Through the tunnel and THEN left. No that's right. Bann, that's your right. Bann, left. Turn around. Yeah, see where you can smell the food? Go that way! N...no. Not through the tunnel again."
 
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