Who’s struggling?

VickiA said:
There is absolutely no shame in needing help. I am the first to admit that. I had crippling anxiety and a breakdown in January of 2021. My GP was wonderful, explained that if I had a physical illness I would not hesitate to accept treatment, so I should feel the same about my mental health. The medication took a while to work but I felt so much better within a couple of months of taking it that I realised I had been ill for far longer than I had been prepared to admit. I hope that your recovery continues to go well.
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Thank you so much. I agree there is still a feeling of shame about admitting you have mental health problems. I hope you continue to feel well.
 
VickiA said:
I’m completely understanding this. My Dad rapidly deteriorated between Christmas and New Year 3 years ago and we are coming up to both his birthday and the anniversary of his death this week. It can feel overwhelmingly sad at a time when everyone else is celebrating. It’s that classic thing of life going on around you as normal irrespective of what is going on in your life. I’m desperate just to hold it all together and get through this week by keeping busy. Huge hugs.
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There’s never a good time to pass away but it must be harder for you at this time of year. Set some time aside to reminisce and think of the good times you had with your dad and also acknowledge his passing. He will always be in your heart.
 
Merab's Slave said:
Reading through this thread makes me feel that we are like a family - a rarity in social media.
We’re all different but try to care for, encourage and support each other.
Goes to prove that while you can’t choose your family you can choose your friends and we aim to be the friends who walk alongside each other in the dark times.
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I agree. We are a friendly bunch. From all walks of life. I feel I’m getting to know you all. I’ve only ever heard bad things about social media. This is the only group I belong to and I think it’s great.
 
VickiA said:
This thread really does demonstrate that none of us really know what is going on in each others’ lives. And we should always be kind.
I’ve learned to look beyond the happy photos on Facebook and Instagram as often the reality is that there is far more going on behind the scenes than people choose to share.
This thread offers a safe space to share struggles and support each other.
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We use our piggies to cheer us up and post happy things about them. But underneath I was sad and wanted to talk about that too. But I didn’t want to make a negative thread. I’m pleased I finally did it.
 
VickiA said:
I’m so sorry that you are dealing with your Mum’s dementia. It’s dreadful seeing the people you love slipping away from you little by little. It’s natural to feel sad especially at this time of year when such an emphasis is made on being cheerful, together and making new memories. Hugs x
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Thank you ❤️
 
Rivervixen said:
Feeling really tired, anxious and low mood lately. I struggle with anxiety a lot but there’s times where I can manage and some where I’d happily live in bed if it was just me. It’s also why I haven’t been too active on the forum as well, I read what people write but just don’t have the energy to interact much right now ☹️ Definitely just tired out
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I’m sorry. I find this time of year very difficult as well. I have SAD from December to March. Take things easy. Do things when you feel able and rest the other times. Have you gotten any help for your anxiety? Take care. 🤗
 
weepweeps said:
I’m sorry. I find this time of year very difficult as well. I have SAD from December to March. Take things easy. Do things when you feel able and rest the other times. Have you gotten any help for your anxiety? Take care. 🤗
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I have my medication that has been the best working one yet but anxiety is still pretty high for me unfortunately ☹️ I’m really sorry for everything you’re going through right now as well as your SAD, must be very difficult.. lots of love and hugs x
 
weepweeps said:
We use our piggies to cheer us up and post happy things about them. But underneath I was sad and wanted to talk about that too. But I didn’t want to make a negative thread. I’m pleased I finally did it.
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I think by the reactions of everybody who has answered, including me, we are glad that you did. Everyone has struggles and it's hard to talk to people who you love as they are too close and are also struggling themselves and it's difficult to talk to them and them to you. Sometimes it's easier to speak to somebody who isn't close to the situation.
 
piggieminder said:
Sending hugs to everyone who is feeling down.
My sympathy to everyone who has a loved one struggling with dementia. Several members of my family have had this in the past. It's hard to witness the slow decline of someone you love.
I agree with @Betsy give your loved ones a hug and let them know how much you care about them. I used to visit my Mum once a month as it was an 80 mile round trip. The last time I saw her was the end of January 2020, what a year that was! We locked down in March so we couldn't visit her, she had a bad fall in April and was in hospital, we weren't allowed to visit. She went into a home, again we weren't allowed to visit, we couldn't even wave from outside as there were no suitable downstairs windows. I couldn't telephone her as she had forgotten how to use her mobile and the staff couldn't get her wheel chair into the small office. I spoke to her once in May when a staff member called me on her mobile for her. Mum died in at the end of January 2021. It's been hard to come to terms with the way things happened, I've found it difficult to forgive myself for not being more forceful about the home finding a way for her to at least speak to me on the phone. I spent most of last year depressed feeling I'd let Mum down because I'd spent the last 6 weeks of Dad's life with him, we had time to put the world to rights!
I have suffered with anxiety and depression on and off for most of my life but I am finding more peace within myself at the moment. The forum has been a huge support to me over the years, this thread is a wonderful idea.
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I’m so sorry you lost your mum. Last year was awful for families. I remember feeling so sad for families that were struggling to see family members in care homes. It’s not your fault and you mustn’t feel any guilt. You were following rules to keep everyone safe. Your mum would of had people around her. I’m pleased you have found some peace recently.
 
Lorcan said:
Moving has thrown up an interesting conundrum for me. My ability to explain things in general is...limited. And I can take a bit of translating - if you've spoken to me often enough, you can learn to recognise my speech patterns, can sometimes slot in the word or phrase I'm missing, and then I'm not stuck in a broken verbal loop because I'm missing the key part of the sentence.

This takes practice though, and it's specific for verbal conversations. Over text doesn't tend to be an issue. The thing is, the last time I moved it was within the same mental health project, but different buildings. Most of the staff I already knew, most of them were able to follow me pretty well. But this time it's a completely different project, completely different staff. One of my weekly prescriptions, 7 items total, has gone AWOL again. Trying to explain this to staff this morning, and I was getting nowhere.

And then I'm getting angry because I have no idea why I can't explain this properly. I don't know what it is I'm saying that he's not understanding. But if I get angry he's going to take it the wrong way, like I'm mad at him. Because that's what happens at the first sign of being upset. But if I don't push it he's going to continue to not get it.

He left today, still not getting it, and I'm back to feeling like I'm banging my head off a brick wall. I know it just takes time, but I have a missing prescription. Time is not necessarily something I have.

And then I realised tonight I hadn't eaten anything substantial since Wednesday. I just haven't been hungry. I only realised tonight because it was affecting me physically. I have to keep reminding myself there's only so much I can do, because I'd drive myself into the ground otherwise.
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Hello @Lorcan. This must be so frustrating for you. Firstly they keep losing your prescriptions. Which is a really did deal. Then you feel you are not being understood. Being stressed, frustrated and hungry is bound to come across as angry. Could you try writing down what you want to say next time? Also please try to eat well. You have to keep your body healthy. Good luck in your new home. 🏠
 
VickiA said:
Big hugs. Hoping things settle down for you x
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VickiA said:
There is absolutely no shame in needing help. I am the first to admit that. I had crippling anxiety and a breakdown in January of 2021. My GP was wonderful, explained that if I had a physical illness I would not hesitate to accept treatment, so I should feel the same about my mental health. The medication took a while to work but I felt so much better within a couple of months of taking it that I realised I had been ill for far longer than I had been prepared to admit. I hope that your recovery continues to go well.
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Thanks so much Vicki :hug:
I haven’t really talked about it on here but I had similar around Christmas 2020. I wasn’t sleeping and my anxiety was horrendous, I really wasn’t myself at all and even spoke differently. I started on amitriptyline (as most meds I’ve tried for depression/anxiety don’t mix well with my epilepsy meds, so I kind of tried to battle on without) and it really helped. I’m still taking them and really glad I started.
I'm so pleased they helped and you’ve felt better since :) xx
 
@Lorcan how frustrating that your prescription has been lost. No wonder that you are getting angry about it. It’s so hard sometimes making yourself understood - irrespective of accents- if the other person simply isn’t hearing/receiving the information you are giving them. Is it worth emailing them to explain what’s gone on/gone wrong? In an email you can take your time to explain what has happened, and it can take the anger out of the situation.
And in a separate note - make sure you eat and drink! How about setting an alarm as a prompt?
 
Rivervixen said:
Feeling really tired, anxious and low mood lately. I struggle with anxiety a lot but there’s times where I can manage and some where I’d happily live in bed if it was just me. It’s also why I haven’t been too active on the forum as well, I read what people write but just don’t have the energy to interact much right now ☹️ Definitely just tired out
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You aren’t alone. I often have times I can read threads but don’t have the energy to respond. Self care comes first. Look after yourself x
 
Rivervixen said:
Feeling really tired, anxious and low mood lately. I struggle with anxiety a lot but there’s times where I can manage and some where I’d happily live in bed if it was just me. It’s also why I haven’t been too active on the forum as well, I read what people write but just don’t have the energy to interact much right now ☹️ Definitely just tired out
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:hug::hug:
 
VickiA said:
@Lorcan how frustrating that your prescription has been lost. No wonder that you are getting angry about it. It’s so hard sometimes making yourself understood - irrespective of accents- if the other person simply isn’t hearing/receiving the information you are giving them. Is it worth emailing them to explain what’s gone on/gone wrong? In an email you can take your time to explain what has happened, and it can take the anger out of the situation.
And in a separate note - make sure you eat and drink! How about setting an alarm as a prompt?
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The problem with food is that it happens because I'm genuinely not hungry. My weight has yo-yo'd for years, 6 stone at my smallest (as an adult) to 16 stone. It's not anorexia. I don't know if my brain doesn't receive the proper signals at all or if it's just really bad at properly translating them accurately, but I'm either always hungry or never hungry. At the minute I'm full after half a bag of crisps whether I want more food or what. That's not sustainable long term atm (hence my episode last night) but there's been times where the "episode" doesn't trigger for several weeks and it's very difficult to force yourself to eat when you're full, just as it's difficult to stop eating when you're hungry.

I've seen people get weirdly defensive about it too. I've been like this since I was born, my medical records prove it. Or they would if you could find the paper ones that far back lol.
 
I struggle with food too as you know @Lorcan, it’s hard to force yourself when you really aren’t hungry or feel full from eating hours before. It’s either little binges or nothing (well cups of tea) for me recently with my dodgy insides 🤦‍♀️
 
Sending hugs to everyone suffering from depression, if this thread has done one thing it's helped us realise we are not alone.
I've never believed in taking supplements I have a really good balanced diet and should get everything I need from that. I always suffer depression in the winter, I am very much a summer person. At the end of last summer when I was telling a neighbour how much I was dreading another winter she persuaded me to look into taking vitamin D. We get most of our vit D from the sun! I don't know if it is this that has helped but about 2 weeks before Christmas it was like a switch went on in my body. I think for the first time ever I'm feeling lighter even though it's grey and damp outside. I'm not going to give dosages here as I'm not qualified to do so but it's really worth doing some research and finding out about it.
 
piggieminder said:
Sending hugs to everyone suffering from depression, if this thread has done one thing it's helped us realise we are not alone.
I've never believed in taking supplements I have a really good balanced diet and should get everything I need from that. I always suffer depression in the winter, I am very much a summer person. At the end of last summer when I was telling a neighbour how much I was dreading another winter she persuaded me to look into taking vitamin D. We get most of our vit D from the sun! I don't know if it is this that has helped but about 2 weeks before Christmas it was like a switch went on in my body. I think for the first time ever I'm feeling lighter even though it's grey and damp outside. I'm not going to give dosages here as I'm not qualified to do so but it's really worth doing some research and finding out about it.
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I take regular doses of Vitamins D and B12. The B12 is the big one for me, I have chronically low levels, basically anaemia, and it causes me massive issues when it isn't promptly caught. After the last time my GP agreed to prescribe me what amounts to a maintenance dose. The vitamin D levels aren't anywhere near as bad, so I buy those instead.
 
I always struggle this time of year I get swept up in the excitement of christmas and new years and that comes crashing down hard in January. I abandon my routines and structured lifestyle for Christmas and come January I feel like I have to rebuild my life again. I've lost all motivation and drive and I just feel hopeless and useless
 
Sweet Potato said:
I always struggle this time of year I get swept up in the excitement of christmas and new years and that comes crashing down hard in January. I abandon my routines and structured lifestyle for Christmas and come January I feel like I have to rebuild my life again. I've lost all motivation and drive and I just feel hopeless and useless
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I love structure. So I totally get what you mean. I hate Xmas decorations as they “mess up my house”. A always feel that if my house is messy my mind feels messy. You’re not hopeless or useless. It’s great you understand your triggers. I’m sure you will get back into your routine soon.
 
weepweeps said:
We use our piggies to cheer us up and post happy things about them. But underneath I was sad and wanted to talk about that too. But I didn’t want to make a negative thread. I’m pleased I finally did it.
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I don’t think this is a negative thread.
Yes it’s dealing with people’s pain and struggles but this is not sad, it’s very positive.
We are bringing onto the open the reality of life - it has downs as well as ups and those downs can be *******.
Mental health issues should be talked about - how else are we supposed to learn and understand what it means and what is, or is not a helpful response.

Creating this thread was a brave and a good thing to do.
 
I haven't had Christmas decorations up for years for similar reasons. We have a Christmas painting we swap for a usual one and that's it. I like to spend Christmas with my daughter who doesn't 'do Christmas' either. This year I felt like having Christmas decorations and sent my OH into the loft to see what we had! I've enjoyed them this year but I have felt today it's time they went away again.
I always hated bank holidays and holidays when I worked and the children were at school because they messed up my routine.
@Sweet Potato @weepweeps you are not alone! My ex husband and friends thought I was really weird, I wish I'd found out a long time ago I wasn't the only one.
 
Honestly I've despised the Christmas period for a long time. My Pappy died on my 8th birthday, my Mummy T (his wife) never wanted anything to do with my birthday after that. Then at Christmas I was always accused of not getting into the Christmas Spirit because I wouldn't drink champagne but I couldn't have orange juice instead because what if someone else wanted them, plus I took too long to unwrap presents (I try to do it without tearing the paper). Apparently because there was a self imposed rule that you can't open a present while someone else does I was just being difficult and, you guessed it, refusing to get into the Christmas Spirit.

So yeah, I dislike the holiday period. I also forget that people might want to give me presents and they do it because they want to, not because they feel they have to. A member of the forum sent me a Christmas present this year (and if you get seeing this, thank you again!), and they'd asked if they could send me something else. That they might send presents with the something else never even crossed my mind.

To anyone who hates the Christmas period - it doesn't matter your reasons, it doesn't matter if you don't have any - half the world might laud it, but you absolutely don't have to. It's okay to hate it, you aren't alone.
 
piggieminder said:
I haven't had Christmas decorations up for years for similar reasons. We have a Christmas painting we swap for a usual one and that's it. I like to spend Christmas with my daughter who doesn't 'do Christmas' either. This year I felt like having Christmas decorations and sent my OH into the loft to see what we had! I've enjoyed them this year but I have felt today it's time they went away again.
I always hated bank holidays and holidays when I worked and the children were at school because they messed up my routine.
@Sweet Potato @weepweeps you are not alone! My ex husband and friends thought I was really weird, I wish I'd found out a long time ago I wasn't the only one.
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It's not Christmas I hate in fact I really love Christmas but it's this emptiness afterwards that I struggle with. It's trying to go back to normal when I'm crashing down from the highs of the festive season
 
Well after a bit of faffing this morning, I have a surgery date now for my hysterectomy. Feels like it's ages away but it's not really. Not sure I believe it will actual happen though...it all feels a bit surreal.

Trying to decide what to do about work. I'm doing half days this week but next week will depend on how I'm doing (not sleeping well) and also any pre-op stuff.

Just would like this to be over now. I'm not a patient patient!
 
CV26 said:
Well after a bit of faffing this morning, I have a surgery date now for my hysterectomy. Feels like it's ages away but it's not really. Not sure I believe it will actual happen though...it all feels a bit surreal.

Trying to decide what to do about work. I'm doing half days this week but next week will depend on how I'm doing (not sleeping well) and also any pre-op stuff.

Just would like this to be over now. I'm not a patient patient!
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That’s brilliant news. Not too long to go. At least you have a date. Going to work could keep you busy and not thinking about it too much. But on the other hand if you are feeling tired and stressed it might be better to have that week off to prepare yourself for the op. Do what’s best for you. Good luck and a speedy recovery. 🤗
 
Thank you @weepweeps .

I thought my op would be a bit sooner so I was originally planning not to be back in work today and to just roll my Christmas leave right into the sick leave for the surgery.

But as it's been pushed a little further along, it didn't feel right to just be off even though I do have the annual leave to spend and work say it's fine. I can't make the most of it thanks to Covid so I would be stuck at home...something I'll be doing a lot of anyway in my recovery.

I'll see how I feel though, I definitely don't feel like I have all my ducks in a row at the moment. Didn't think I'd be starting 2022 with major surgery!
 
CV26 said:
Thank you @weepweeps .

I thought my op would be a bit sooner so I was originally planning not to be back in work today and to just roll my Christmas leave right into the sick leave for the surgery.

But as it's been pushed a little further along, it didn't feel right to just be off even though I do have the annual leave to spend and work say it's fine. I can't make the most of it thanks to Covid so I would be stuck at home...something I'll be doing a lot of anyway in my recovery.

I'll see how I feel though, I definitely don't feel like I have all my ducks in a row at the moment. Didn't think I'd be starting 2022 with major surgery!
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Hoping your surgery goes smoothly! Some advice from when my sister had her hysterectomy, make sure you have some meals in your freezer/cupboard all ready to go to eat. My mom made sure she had meals ready before so she didn't have to worry about cooking for the family while she was taking care of my sister. Also, keep a medication log for after your surgery if they send you home with some powerful pain killers; my sister couldn't remember when she took her pain medicine and with our whole family helping give them to her, we didn't want to give her too many or too little.
 
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