Who’s struggling?

poggle said:
Been trying to get baby Poggle back to sleep for two hours. He's been cuddled, changed, fed, and medicated. Run out of ideas; he won't even close his eyes. He wants to chat and fiddle with anything within reach. I'm downstairs on a sanity break, trying not to feel like a dick listening to him crying. Logically I know that I've ticked off his basic needs and there's nothing else doing, and he needs to try on his own for a bit, but I still feel godawful. How does anyone ever have a second child?!

Edit to add that my husband and I take shifts and this usually works beautifully, it's just when stuff like this happens and I can't hand over to someone who's had three hours sleep that it falls down. He'd help if I asked but it feels rotten to ask.
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Unfortunately that’s babies for you. They are gorgeous and scrumptious but also a nightmare when you are so tired and they won’t sleep. Let him have a little cry, it won’t hurt him. You make a cuppa and try a chill for 5 minutes :hug:
When I used to be up in the middle of the night I used to think I was the only Mum suffering, but most of us have been there, it’s awful but it does eventually pass and they learn to drop off back to sleep
 
poggle said:
Been trying to get baby Poggle back to sleep for two hours. He's been cuddled, changed, fed, and medicated. Run out of ideas; he won't even close his eyes. He wants to chat and fiddle with anything within reach. I'm downstairs on a sanity break, trying not to feel like a dick listening to him crying. Logically I know that I've ticked off his basic needs and there's nothing else doing, and he needs to try on his own for a bit, but I still feel godawful. How does anyone ever have a second child?!

Edit to add that my husband and I take shifts and this usually works beautifully, it's just when stuff like this happens and I can't hand over to someone who's had three hours sleep that it falls down. He'd help if I asked but it feels rotten to ask.
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Apparently our doctor told my mother to buy earplugs when my I was a baby. If I was clean, fed and warm then I should be left alone.
Being only months old at the time I have no memory of being ignored 😁😁😁😁
 
Feeling a bit overwhelmed!

The house I rent has a huge rising / penetrating damp issue, mostly due to window sealants going / the state of the outside bricks… there’s some missing / someone has tried to do a patch job with cement in places. It’s so bad that some walls are crumbling inside, but big damp patches in almost every room with external walls. Been in contact with the estate agent for months as it first started appearing in summer. Yesterday got an email saying landlord has only approved a quote and no work yet, but they’re treating it as a matter of urgency?

I’ve bought a dehumidifier I’m using between rooms which is pulling over 12 litres a day, house takes 12 hours of heat to go from 11c to 17c and then back down to like 12c overnight according to thermostat in living room. Just really overwhelmed and explained to estate agent I can’t afford to keep going like this (solo income and I’m doing my best…) and it’s impacting my health / piggy health / had to throw some possessions away as a couple of books had mould in them. Mother Doragon is in my head saying that I need to stop emailing estate agent as I’m going to get section 21 and don’t be upset if they no fault evict me for complaining about the issues?

Sorry, very big ramble and I know that there’s nothing anyone can do. Just waiting as the contractors as back in office today and we may have a quote. Just very… shaky today! Scared that I’ve been too pushy and I’ll just end up getting that section…

Guinea pigs are safe and warm in the one room that is unaffected by damp which does manage to heat! They’ve been fine with no issues thank goodness. Keeping a very close eye.
 
Merab's Slave said:
Apparently our doctor told my mother to buy earplugs when my I was a baby. If I was clean, fed and warm then I should be left alone.
Being only months old at the time I have no memory of being ignored 😁😁😁😁
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And even now you like to make yourself heard ... but I hope your congregations don't resort to earplugs 😉
 
poggle said:
Results so far: He's been blowing a lot of raspberries on my chest this morning. That had better not be all it was 😂
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I think the answer was... Yellow!*

He's been working on colours lately but today he's clearly got a good and consistent grasp of what yellow is, pointing at all the yellow he can find.

*Also the raspberries. Possibly also "dragon! Help!". And beeping while walking backwards. I'm clearly teaching him all the most important life skills :))
 
Today we received a no fault eviction notice to leave the place we've called home for the past 5 years. We've got 2 months to leave with the final date being the day before my birthday. We were hoping to buy our own home anyway but that will take more than 2 months and if we move into another rental we will end up loosing money making house buying a distant dream again. We could put all our stuff into storage and move back in with parents but we may have to give up our pets or find somewhere to board them for a couple of months. I'm not sure there's anyone I trust to board the piggies with for that long. Spirit is pretty resilient and would be fine anywhere but not many boarding facilities take reptiles.
 
I’m so sorry to hear that Sweet Potato - sometimes the universe throws bad stuff at you - hopefully if you start the process of buying a home ( which can take 4-6 months) and move in with your Parents, with the animals, then it wouldn’t be for too long. You could put furniture in storage ….cheaper than renting somewhere ( with a deposit etc) - maybe this is just bringing forward your dream …..there is news of mortgage rates going down and good deals becoming available.
I really hope you can see the good that could come from this ……I wish you all good things 🥰
 
Doragon said:
Feeling a bit overwhelmed!

The house I rent has a huge rising / penetrating damp issue, mostly due to window sealants going / the state of the outside bricks… there’s some missing / someone has tried to do a patch job with cement in places. It’s so bad that some walls are crumbling inside, but big damp patches in almost every room with external walls. Been in contact with the estate agent for months as it first started appearing in summer. Yesterday got an email saying landlord has only approved a quote and no work yet, but they’re treating it as a matter of urgency?

I’ve bought a dehumidifier I’m using between rooms which is pulling over 12 litres a day, house takes 12 hours of heat to go from 11c to 17c and then back down to like 12c overnight according to thermostat in living room. Just really overwhelmed and explained to estate agent I can’t afford to keep going like this (solo income and I’m doing my best…) and it’s impacting my health / piggy health / had to throw some possessions away as a couple of books had mould in them. Mother Doragon is in my head saying that I need to stop emailing estate agent as I’m going to get section 21 and don’t be upset if they no fault evict me for complaining about the issues?

Sorry, very big ramble and I know that there’s nothing anyone can do. Just waiting as the contractors as back in office today and we may have a quote. Just very… shaky today! Scared that I’ve been too pushy and I’ll just end up getting that section…

Guinea pigs are safe and warm in the one room that is unaffected by damp which does manage to heat! They’ve been fine with no issues thank goodness. Keeping a very close eye.
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You are in a rock and a hard place. if you moan you could get evicted, if you don’t nothing might get done. It is awful that you are living in such conditions and it’s impacting in your health. I would still keep contact with the estate agents for them to regularly chase up. Would the landlord really be able to rent out your home in this condition without doing the works needed to rectify the problems? It’s a difficult balance that you should not have to tread, so sorry
 
Sweet Potato said:
Today we received a no fault eviction notice to leave the place we've called home for the past 5 years. We've got 2 months to leave with the final date being the day before my birthday. We were hoping to buy our own home anyway but that will take more than 2 months and if we move into another rental we will end up loosing money making house buying a distant dream again. We could put all our stuff into storage and move back in with parents but we may have to give up our pets or find somewhere to board them for a couple of months. I'm not sure there's anyone I trust to board the piggies with for that long. Spirit is pretty resilient and would be fine anywhere but not many boarding facilities take reptiles.
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So sorry to hear this Sweet Potato
:(
Hugs:hug::hug:
 
Sweet Potato said:
Today we received a no fault eviction notice to leave the place we've called home for the past 5 years. We've got 2 months to leave with the final date being the day before my birthday. We were hoping to buy our own home anyway but that will take more than 2 months and if we move into another rental we will end up loosing money making house buying a distant dream again. We could put all our stuff into storage and move back in with parents but we may have to give up our pets or find somewhere to board them for a couple of months. I'm not sure there's anyone I trust to board the piggies with for that long. Spirit is pretty resilient and would be fine anywhere but not many boarding facilities take reptiles.
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So sorry for you, I agree with @Roselina storage would be cheaper than boarding and living with your parents temporarily with your animals with you would be better than looking for another rented house and all the associated bills that come with it

Good luck with house buying, hope you can find somewhere soon
 
Sweet Potato said:
Today we received a no fault eviction notice to leave the place we've called home for the past 5 years. We've got 2 months to leave with the final date being the day before my birthday. We were hoping to buy our own home anyway but that will take more than 2 months and if we move into another rental we will end up loosing money making house buying a distant dream again. We could put all our stuff into storage and move back in with parents but we may have to give up our pets or find somewhere to board them for a couple of months. I'm not sure there's anyone I trust to board the piggies with for that long. Spirit is pretty resilient and would be fine anywhere but not many boarding facilities take reptiles.
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So sorry to hear this. Please keep in touch with your landlord, ask for more time if you do find somewhere to buy. Maybe find out their reason for evicting and if they are needing to sell can you support their process with staying in for the time being (or could it be affordable for you to buy?).
If you are in the buying process then don't leave the property. If you haven't left at the end of the 2 months without permission to stay on the landlord has to go to court and instruct bailiffs. First step is court saying you need to leave by a set date - anything from immediate (unlikely) to 28 days (most likely). If you are still in the property at the end of this period then they instruct bailiffs so by the time they apply to court, get the order, apply for bailiffs and bailiffs set a date to change the locks you are easily looking at 2-3 months minimum. Yes you will be liable for the landlords costs for the applications etc but it is a very last option that might help you
 
Bill & Ted said:
You are in a rock and a hard place. if you moan you could get evicted, if you don’t nothing might get done. It is awful that you are living in such conditions and it’s impacting in your health. I would still keep contact with the estate agents for them to regularly chase up. Would the landlord really be able to rent out your home in this condition without doing the works needed to rectify the problems? It’s a difficult balance that you should not have to tread, so sorry
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Maintenance are coming out on Monday finally, a month after my initial report. The damp is so much worse, just from the pictures alone the maintenance think it’ll be tens of thousands to attempt to fi - something about drilling and re-applying the mortar brick by brick, then treating the walls internally. I can’t get warm, it’s 9c in here, blasting the heat is useless as there’s so many draughts and drafts the heat is just escaping - heating been on for 2 hours and no movement. Thank goodness the guinea pig room is the warmer room, they’re doing fine.

I doubt the landlord would be able to sell or rent it out, at least in the winter. I just can’t afford higher rents, let alone these crazy deposit if I am forced to move. Even if the landlord carries out the fixes, it’ll be a case of me having to find somewhere else to live as I won’t be able to be here while repairs are being done. Had Grandma’s funeral this week too so it’s all just a bit much!
 
21 days into the new year and sibling is still treating us like rubbish. We are still stuck in the cycle of manipulation, bullying and giving in to his demands for our own sanity/safety ☹️

I honestly don't know who to go to for help / advice because everyone says its as easy as saying "no" and it should be but isn't. Have tried it and then have to live here with the repercussions of that...
 
If you feel unsafe then the next time he kicks off I’d call the police and say you are in danger. Something drastic needs to happen to break the cycle. This can’t go on. Can your mum kick him out for a while? That may be enough to shock him into behaving. Be brave. This is not normal behaviour. It is not your fault. He needs to be told/shown he can’t carry on like this. Good luck.
 
Doragon said:
Feeling a bit overwhelmed!

The house I rent has a huge rising / penetrating damp issue, mostly due to window sealants going / the state of the outside bricks… there’s some missing / someone has tried to do a patch job with cement in places. It’s so bad that some walls are crumbling inside, but big damp patches in almost every room with external walls. Been in contact with the estate agent for months as it first started appearing in summer. Yesterday got an email saying landlord has only approved a quote and no work yet, but they’re treating it as a matter of urgency?

I’ve bought a dehumidifier I’m using between rooms which is pulling over 12 litres a day, house takes 12 hours of heat to go from 11c to 17c and then back down to like 12c overnight according to thermostat in living room. Just really overwhelmed and explained to estate agent I can’t afford to keep going like this (solo income and I’m doing my best…) and it’s impacting my health / piggy health / had to throw some possessions away as a couple of books had mould in them. Mother Doragon is in my head saying that I need to stop emailing estate agent as I’m going to get section 21 and don’t be upset if they no fault evict me for complaining about the issues?

Sorry, very big ramble and I know that there’s nothing anyone can do. Just waiting as the contractors as back in office today and we may have a quote. Just very… shaky today! Scared that I’ve been too pushy and I’ll just end up getting that section…

Guinea pigs are safe and warm in the one room that is unaffected by damp which does manage to heat! They’ve been fine with no issues thank goodness. Keeping a very close eye.
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Has there been any changes in your situation, @Doragon ? Just wondering, as I was just watching the Money Saving Expert program on ITV and someone was in a situation similar to yours - had complained about bad damp etc and was sent a S21 eviction notice. The housing expert on the program said it sounded like a revenge eviction, which isn't allowed. His suggestion was that the person should contact their council Environmental HEalth dept - if they have a look and agree, that can be enough to get such an eviction halted. My OH (who works in the law and deals with S21 evictions - and others - quite a bit), also thinks a revenge eviction wouldn't be allowed and suggests approaching Environmental Health about the state of your rental accommodation.
 
Qualcast&Flymo said:
Has there been any changes in your situation, @Doragon ? Just wondering, as I was just watching the Money Saving Expert program on ITV and someone was in a situation similar to yours - had complained about bad damp etc and was sent a S21 eviction notice. The housing expert on the program said it sounded like a revenge eviction, which isn't allowed. His suggestion was that the person should contact their council Environmental HEalth dept - if they have a look and agree, that can be enough to get such an eviction halted. My OH (who works in the law and deals with S21 evictions - and others - quite a bit), also thinks a revenge eviction wouldn't be allowed and suggests approaching Environmental Health about the state of your rental accommodation.
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Hey, thanks for reaching out! I really appreciate it. I have been researching as well, but since I live on my own with family 4 hours away, there's a shot I may end up homeless if he does S21 me due to I only earn 1200pcm (education, pro-rata..) and struggling to find another landlord to take me on!

contractors came in last monday. house has been discovered to have major structural issues with the external wall, roof, gutters and all windows. supposedly, landlord has had a quote and report from last Thursday according to the letting agent, but he has yet to respond. I don't know if it's worth contacting the council now, or wait and see if he responds. I've asked for a rent reduction due to the constant dehumidifier use and the fact I can't get this house above 16.5c, but the letting agent property manager only says "sorry you're experiencing this".

honestly don't know what to do, it's.so cold, smelling horribly of damp. piggies are protected in the warmest room with snuggle safes when it's particularly cold. I'm just so unwell myself, can barely get by at the moment and th rent in my surrounding areas are so insane that I'm outpriced, alongside I've been job hunting for a better position for over a year now with no luck. just feeling a bit hopeless and what's the point, honestly! don't know. if I should push at the letting agent or not but it's clear they're not interested. sorry, hate being so down and negative but at the end of my rope! can't save money, can't move, can barely get by (though it's the same for everyone!). probably just a wobble.
 
Thanks for everyone's advice on our eviction notice situation. We now have an offer accepted to buy a house on the other side of town. We've asked the letting agent if we can negotiate some extra time here while it all goes through hopefully the landlord will have some common decency and be a bit flexible with us. So we're still holding out hope at the moment but we are starting to pack and sort our stuff out just in case.
 
I don't believe this - my LL is actually going to go ahead and fix the issues! He messaged me himself today instead of through the agency (my heart stopped as I was certain it was a S21.) He explained he's found someone to fix the main external wall where the majority of the damp is coming from. We have to wait a while until it warms up, as supposedly it won't render properly if he attempts it now.

So much stress released, utterly exhausted now! It's still a question mark on when it's going to be fixed, but I think I'm through the cooler weather now and things should start to dry out. I am so, so tired but feeling a lot better about the situation. Hopefully he doesn't go back on his word. Thank goodness it's the weekend, I need to sleep!
 
Doragon said:
Maintenance are coming out on Monday finally, a month after my initial report. The damp is so much worse, just from the pictures alone the maintenance think it’ll be tens of thousands to attempt to fi - something about drilling and re-applying the mortar brick by brick, then treating the walls internally. I can’t get warm, it’s 9c in here, blasting the heat is useless as there’s so many draughts and drafts the heat is just escaping - heating been on for 2 hours and no movement. Thank goodness the guinea pig room is the warmer room, they’re doing fine.

I doubt the landlord would be able to sell or rent it out, at least in the winter. I just can’t afford higher rents, let alone these crazy deposit if I am forced to move. Even if the landlord carries out the fixes, it’ll be a case of me having to find somewhere else to live as I won’t be able to be here while repairs are being done. Had Grandma’s funeral this week too so it’s all just a bit much!
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So sorry for you, hope you find a solution soon x
 
Doragon said:
I don't believe this - my LL is actually going to go ahead and fix the issues! He messaged me himself today instead of through the agency (my heart stopped as I was certain it was a S21.) He explained he's found someone to fix the main external wall where the majority of the damp is coming from. We have to wait a while until it warms up, as supposedly it won't render properly if he attempts it now.

So much stress released, utterly exhausted now! It's still a question mark on when it's going to be fixed, but I think I'm through the cooler weather now and things should start to dry out. I am so, so tired but feeling a lot better about the situation. Hopefully he doesn't go back on his word. Thank goodness it's the weekend, I need to sleep!
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Oh that’s great news! Hang in there. I hope you don’t have to wait too long and once it’s done you can be warm and feel so much better x
 
I am really struggling at the moment with bad anxiety, having really bad panic attacks, I've been on medication for a few years and had talking therapies, just having a really bad spell at the moment, the smallest thing just sets me off. has anybody else had bad anxiety and panic attacks? thank you.
 
Abirose said:
I am really struggling at the moment with bad anxiety, having really bad panic attacks, I've been on medication for a few years and had talking therapies, just having a really bad spell at the moment, the smallest thing just sets me off. has anybody else had bad anxiety and panic attacks? thank you.
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I’m so sorry you’re struggling with bad anxiety. I have had it and also panic attacks. I had cbt which helped and I paid for a few therapy sessions. Nowadays I’m able to control it by mindfulness/ focusing on my happy place and deep breathing - sounds basic but it helps me. Not everything works for everyone tho
Could your GP refer you to have some therapy or cbt ? There are groups ( and hopefully you have one nearby) that help and you’re with people who understand and get it. Good luck and keep sharing ❤️
 
Sending big hugs, panic attacks are truly horrible, I feel for you :hug:
 
Urgh. Where do I start?

I’m hormonal;

My sister had her dog Frankie PTS this week which has triggered me putting my dog Eddie to sleep a couple of years ago; I loved him so much;

I’m feeling sad about my mums dementia;

I’m sad that my dad is looking after my mum and she is so mean to him. She swears at him ALL of the time. She has lost all of her nice words and only remembers the mean ones. 😢

The only things that make me happy are Chester, Pebble and Patrick and my children but they both moved out last year so they have their own lives now for which I am thankful. 😍

Just wanted to vent. Life can be so sad sometimes 😢
 
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