Who’s struggling?

Lady Kelly said:
I'm having a stonking day today. It's a culmination of crap that's going on at the moment and my health is suffering as a result. After two days of pain, the dog waking everyone at 2am and then the toddler being up for 1.5 hours, plus having the toddler to manage on my own when she hasn't quite adjusted to the no naps she's insisting on I'm at my wit's end. I am grumpy mum, I am shouty mum, and I do not like it one bit. It's not her fault I am taking it out on her and I have apologised and she keeps giving me cuddles to make me feel better 🥹 but it shouldn't be like this. Just hope I am feeling better and rested in time for tomorrow's exam
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You can't help it if you are in pain and tired. Having a job, being a Mum and having a dog is hard! Jessica is trying to make you feel better in the only way she knows how by giving you a lovely toddler cuddle. Hopefully you'll feel better tomorrow for your exam.
 
@poggle unfortunately it doesn't help, I'm literally not hungry enough to eat. Two mouthfuls and I'm done, that kind of thing. For a long while I basically lived off milkshakes - it's not perfect but it was better than nothing, and liquid was easier to digest than solid food, and drinking was much easier than eating.
 
Lady Kelly said:
I'm having a stonking day today. It's a culmination of crap that's going on at the moment and my health is suffering as a result. After two days of pain, the dog waking everyone at 2am and then the toddler being up for 1.5 hours, plus having the toddler to manage on my own when she hasn't quite adjusted to the no naps she's insisting on I'm at my wit's end. I am grumpy mum, I am shouty mum, and I do not like it one bit. It's not her fault I am taking it out on her and I have apologised and she keeps giving me cuddles to make me feel better 🥹 but it shouldn't be like this. Just hope I am feeling better and rested in time for tomorrow's exam
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Be kind to yourself Kelly and here's hoping that tomorrow goes perfectly to make up for today.
And all Mum's (even the absolute best ones) are shouty sometimes.
It's ok to let our kids know that we are human too, and at the end of it all they just remember the person who loved them unconditionally and was always there when they needed us.
 
Swissgreys said:
And all Mum's (even the absolute best ones) are shouty sometimes.
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Son No 3 was very hard to look after (it was all frustration as he is extremely intelligent) because he wanted to do what his older brothers were doing (they are 6 and 8 years older than he is) and at his young age he didn't have the capacity or capability of being able to do it and when he misbehaved I told him that the only thing I could do was to love him. One day his behaviour was off the scale and I just shouted at him "I really don't know what to do with you!" to which he immediately stopped his bad behaviour looked up at me with his big blue eyes and said "Love me?" and we had a lovely cuddle. He really was Lucifer's toddler!
 
All I can say is being a Mum is the hardest and rewarding job I’ve ever done. I still have quite deep emotions at both ends of the scale. It gets easier as time passes, once they start to crawl and eat. My first three months were hell with a baby diagnosed with 24 hour colic but we got through it, to anyone struggling, hang in there you are doing a great job x
 
Lady Kelly said:
Well the exam is passed but I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon because I am not well. This has literally been the most stressful day I have had in a long time
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Congratuations on passing your exam you did well especially under the stressful circumstances you are in at the moment.
 
Lady Kelly said:
Well the exam is passed but I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon because I am not well. This has literally been the most stressful day I have had in a long time
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Hope you can relax once you get home, try find a quiet space for yourself for half an hour, or a walk often helps
 
I’m struggling today! I woke with the most horrible cold. I’ve taken the Covid test and it’s negative but now worrying about our dear friends who we went out with for a meal last night. They are off on holiday on Wednesday, I hope they don’t come down with it 🤨
 
This year has been a massive struggle so far in every way possible. The death of the Queen and all the articles about the funeral bought a lot of upset about my mum back this week. It's really hard to mourn someone you've not seen or spoken to for a year you don't get the usual triggers of missed visits or calls. We also couldn't have a funeral so there has been no closure. This week I have cried for three days I think for mum but also a lot of other reasons. I have been feeling the most amazing anger, rage really, that's not like me, I don't know where it's coming from. Hopefully the tears are resolving this.
My normal way to deal with stress is gardening or walking. I tore my left bicep 3 months ago and damaged the tendons so gardening has been virtually non existent. A gang of youths has been targeting lone walkers this summer, they picked on me three times before I became too scared to go out and gave up my daily walks. I was determined not to be intimidated the first time when they hid in bushes and threw stones at me. The second time they rode their bikes at me fast screaming at me and pulling away at the last minute, the final straw was when five of them trapped me in a circle of bikes and kept riding round me laughing. If I have had to go to the shops it has been via the main road as quick as possible and keeping to the busy times so I would always have people around me. Today was a lovely day so I made myself walk, deciding as long as I was back before they came out of school I'd be okay. All was fine until the very last bit, almost home and someone came up behind me on an electric scooter, hit me hard on the arm and shoved me. I was really shocked, I didn't hear him coming. I don't think it was one of the gang, it was an older boy, late teens. He was gone quickly out of sight so I didn't get a good look. I did yell some swear words after him of the type I never ever use, I don't swear normally at all but boy did it feel good. I'm thinking of getting someone to take me to an out of the way place, preferably a high hill where I can scream obscenities at the world, it could be quite healing!
As I'm really battling with my mental and physical health at the moment and wonder sometimes why I bother, I have decided to take a break from the forum after today. I am staying away from the internet altogether and cancelling all my online subscriptions ecept haybox which will hopefully just keep coming! I would like to return to leave tributes in rainbow bridge when my palliative care boys pass as they are all part of the gang that used to be so active on the forum in better times. I wish you all well and hope everyone who is struggling feels better soon.
 
piggieminder said:
This year has been a massive struggle so far in every way possible. The death of the Queen and all the articles about the funeral bought a lot of upset about my mum back this week. It's really hard to mourn someone you've not seen or spoken to for a year you don't get the usual triggers of missed visits or calls. We also couldn't have a funeral so there has been no closure. This week I have cried for three days I think for mum but also a lot of other reasons. I have been feeling the most amazing anger, rage really, that's not like me, I don't know where it's coming from. Hopefully the tears are resolving this.
My normal way to deal with stress is gardening or walking. I tore my left bicep 3 months ago and damaged the tendons so gardening has been virtually non existent. A gang of youths has been targeting lone walkers this summer, they picked on me three times before I became too scared to go out and gave up my daily walks. I was determined not to be intimidated the first time when they hid in bushes and threw stones at me. The second time they rode their bikes at me fast screaming at me and pulling away at the last minute, the final straw was when five of them trapped me in a circle of bikes and kept riding round me laughing. If I have had to go to the shops it has been via the main road as quick as possible and keeping to the busy times so I would always have people around me. Today was a lovely day so I made myself walk, deciding as long as I was back before they came out of school I'd be okay. All was fine until the very last bit, almost home and someone came up behind me on an electric scooter, hit me hard on the arm and shoved me. I was really shocked, I didn't hear him coming. I don't think it was one of the gang, it was an older boy, late teens. He was gone quickly out of sight so I didn't get a good look. I did yell some swear words after him of the type I never ever use, I don't swear normally at all but boy did it feel good. I'm thinking of getting someone to take me to an out of the way place, preferably a high hill where I can scream obscenities at the world, it could be quite healing!
As I'm really battling with my mental and physical health at the moment and wonder sometimes why I bother, I have decided to take a break from the forum after today. I am staying away from the internet altogether and cancelling all my online subscriptions ecept haybox which will hopefully just keep coming! I would like to return to leave tributes in rainbow bridge when my palliative care boys pass as they are all part of the gang that used to be so active on the forum in better times. I wish you all well and hope everyone who is struggling feels better soon.
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Oh no, I hope things get better for you Sue, I will really miss you :hug: Please do keep in touch with us all, you are such an important member of the forum. Take great care, heal well and do get to the top of that mountain and swear for me too x
 
piggieminder said:
This year has been a massive struggle so far in every way possible. The death of the Queen and all the articles about the funeral bought a lot of upset about my mum back this week. It's really hard to mourn someone you've not seen or spoken to for a year you don't get the usual triggers of missed visits or calls. We also couldn't have a funeral so there has been no closure. This week I have cried for three days I think for mum but also a lot of other reasons. I have been feeling the most amazing anger, rage really, that's not like me, I don't know where it's coming from. Hopefully the tears are resolving this.
My normal way to deal with stress is gardening or walking. I tore my left bicep 3 months ago and damaged the tendons so gardening has been virtually non existent. A gang of youths has been targeting lone walkers this summer, they picked on me three times before I became too scared to go out and gave up my daily walks. I was determined not to be intimidated the first time when they hid in bushes and threw stones at me. The second time they rode their bikes at me fast screaming at me and pulling away at the last minute, the final straw was when five of them trapped me in a circle of bikes and kept riding round me laughing. If I have had to go to the shops it has been via the main road as quick as possible and keeping to the busy times so I would always have people around me. Today was a lovely day so I made myself walk, deciding as long as I was back before they came out of school I'd be okay. All was fine until the very last bit, almost home and someone came up behind me on an electric scooter, hit me hard on the arm and shoved me. I was really shocked, I didn't hear him coming. I don't think it was one of the gang, it was an older boy, late teens. He was gone quickly out of sight so I didn't get a good look. I did yell some swear words after him of the type I never ever use, I don't swear normally at all but boy did it feel good. I'm thinking of getting someone to take me to an out of the way place, preferably a high hill where I can scream obscenities at the world, it could be quite healing!
As I'm really battling with my mental and physical health at the moment and wonder sometimes why I bother, I have decided to take a break from the forum after today. I am staying away from the internet altogether and cancelling all my online subscriptions ecept haybox which will hopefully just keep coming! I would like to return to leave tributes in rainbow bridge when my palliative care boys pass as they are all part of the gang that used to be so active on the forum in better times. I wish you all well and hope everyone who is struggling feels better soon.
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Oh I’m so sorry you have been feeling this way. I hope you feel better soon after a break from everything. Sending you a massive hug. 🤗. I’ll miss you on here. Take care.
 
piggieminder said:
This year has been a massive struggle so far in every way possible. The death of the Queen and all the articles about the funeral bought a lot of upset about my mum back this week. It's really hard to mourn someone you've not seen or spoken to for a year you don't get the usual triggers of missed visits or calls. We also couldn't have a funeral so there has been no closure. This week I have cried for three days I think for mum but also a lot of other reasons. I have been feeling the most amazing anger, rage really, that's not like me, I don't know where it's coming from. Hopefully the tears are resolving this.
My normal way to deal with stress is gardening or walking. I tore my left bicep 3 months ago and damaged the tendons so gardening has been virtually non existent. A gang of youths has been targeting lone walkers this summer, they picked on me three times before I became too scared to go out and gave up my daily walks. I was determined not to be intimidated the first time when they hid in bushes and threw stones at me. The second time they rode their bikes at me fast screaming at me and pulling away at the last minute, the final straw was when five of them trapped me in a circle of bikes and kept riding round me laughing. If I have had to go to the shops it has been via the main road as quick as possible and keeping to the busy times so I would always have people around me. Today was a lovely day so I made myself walk, deciding as long as I was back before they came out of school I'd be okay. All was fine until the very last bit, almost home and someone came up behind me on an electric scooter, hit me hard on the arm and shoved me. I was really shocked, I didn't hear him coming. I don't think it was one of the gang, it was an older boy, late teens. He was gone quickly out of sight so I didn't get a good look. I did yell some swear words after him of the type I never ever use, I don't swear normally at all but boy did it feel good. I'm thinking of getting someone to take me to an out of the way place, preferably a high hill where I can scream obscenities at the world, it could be quite healing!
As I'm really battling with my mental and physical health at the moment and wonder sometimes why I bother, I have decided to take a break from the forum after today. I am staying away from the internet altogether and cancelling all my online subscriptions ecept haybox which will hopefully just keep coming! I would like to return to leave tributes in rainbow bridge when my palliative care boys pass as they are all part of the gang that used to be so active on the forum in better times. I wish you all well and hope everyone who is struggling feels better soon.
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Oh, Sue, what an exceptionally tough time you are having. I’m so sorry that you are feeling so low. We will all miss you if you need to take a break but fully understand. At times we all need to step back and have a bit of a digital detox. Have a great big hug xx
 
I'm so sorry you have been having a very difficult time.maybe if you feel it will help visit your general practioner.we will miss you lots.i understand you need to take time out.thinking of you at this time.
 
...my hands did it again. I know there's nothing I can do about it, I can't make them not drop things out of nowhere, but I swear I use more energy picking up whatever I've repeatedly dropped on the floor than I do going up and down the stairs. It'd just be nice to not look like a complete idiot dropping things every five minutes.

(edit: this is a medical issue, I have FND/Functional Neurological Disorder, this is one of the ways it manifests for me.)
 
I am not a happy person. I'm tired and fed up of people taking advantage. Sibling is a disrepectful waste of space his drinking is getting worse and his lack of awareness for other people is disgusting. He's a "sod them I'm ok" person. I've realised I'm enabling him as each month he blackmails money out of me. I say no and then along come the threats. I believe he would carry them out so I give in because I'm scared. He's had so much money out of me and I'm trying to make plans to see about getting a mortgage so feel like there is no point.
Mums been so poorly this year, finally had operation last week and seems to be recovering well. Just means I'm working full time, looking after her and the house and doing more because she can't do it at the minute. It's so hard when there is another body in the house and he won't do anything except upset us.

I'm currently limiting my facebook use as sick of seeing so called friends living their beat life through it and I seem to just be bottom of the pile with them. I think because I don't drive yet I don't get invited anywhere. To top it off the buses are changing, so being able to go anywhere will be even more limited.

I've booked a doctor appointment for October to get advice and discuss my feelings. I already feel like I'm going to be wasting their time.
 
Sar said:
I am not a happy person. I'm tired and fed up of people taking advantage. Sibling is a disrepectful waste of space his drinking is getting worse and his lack of awareness for other people is disgusting. He's a "sod them I'm ok" person. I've realised I'm enabling him as each month he blackmails money out of me. I say no and then along come the threats. I believe he would carry them out so I give in because I'm scared. He's had so much money out of me and I'm trying to make plans to see about getting a mortgage so feel like there is no point.
Mums been so poorly this year, finally had operation last week and seems to be recovering well. Just means I'm working full time, looking after her and the house and doing more because she can't do it at the minute. It's so hard when there is another body in the house and he won't do anything except upset us.

I'm currently limiting my facebook use as sick of seeing so called friends living their beat life through it and I seem to just be bottom of the pile with them. I think because I don't drive yet I don't get invited anywhere. To top it off the buses are changing, so being able to go anywhere will be even more limited.

I've booked a doctor appointment for October to get advice and discuss my feelings. I already feel like I'm going to be wasting their time.
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Well done for booking an appointment, and you are not wasting they time.
As hard as it is you need to prioritise your own mental well being and welfare. Be as honest as possible with the Dr - maybe make a list of points you want to raise so if you get upset or flustered in the appointment you don't forget to mention the main things affecting you.
I really hope they are able to help.
It will get better, and you deserve to be safe and happy.
 
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Sar said:
I am not a happy person. I'm tired and fed up of people taking advantage. Sibling is a disrepectful waste of space his drinking is getting worse and his lack of awareness for other people is disgusting. He's a "sod them I'm ok" person. I've realised I'm enabling him as each month he blackmails money out of me. I say no and then along come the threats. I believe he would carry them out so I give in because I'm scared. He's had so much money out of me and I'm trying to make plans to see about getting a mortgage so feel like there is no point.
Mums been so poorly this year, finally had operation last week and seems to be recovering well. Just means I'm working full time, looking after her and the house and doing more because she can't do it at the minute. It's so hard when there is another body in the house and he won't do anything except upset us.

I'm currently limiting my facebook use as sick of seeing so called friends living their beat life through it and I seem to just be bottom of the pile with them. I think because I don't drive yet I don't get invited anywhere. To top it off the buses are changing, so being able to go anywhere will be even more limited.

I've booked a doctor appointment for October to get advice and discuss my feelings. I already feel like I'm going to be wasting their time.
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That’s brilliant that you are going to see the doctor. Great advice above from @Swissgreys. Good luck. Try not to give him money. I know it’s hard but bullies rarely go through with their threats. They are usually cowards inside. I’m pleased your mum is recovering well. You are amazing to be looking after her and the house and working too. Once she starts to feel better some of that pressure will be taken off you. ❤️
 
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Sending you big hugs, you’ve taken on so much and no wonder you feel exhausted. As for your sibling, what a waste of space. Is there anyway you can get rid of him. Sounds like he is very selfish and no help to you or your poor Mum.
Don’t give him anymore money no matter what his threats are, it’s the only way you will beat him. Is there anyone in your family who you can talk to about what he is doing (maybe a male uncle/cousin?) who will pull him to one side and have a good talk to him about his horrid behaviour. If other family members know he is blackmailing you then he is very likely to stop. Blackmailers get away with things because the blackmailing is done in private, if all your family members know and comment to him and he knows they know, then he will feel a fool/embarrassed at the very least and hopefully stop it

Good luck at the doctors x
 
Hello Sar I’m so sorry you feel this way. Well done for arranging a GP appt ! It can help to write down everything you want to say beforehand so you don’t forget anything.
You’ve had great advice from everyone.
Your brother is going to continue with his behaviour( the blackmailing) unless you stop it. He will carry on making threats BUT that’s not your responsibility. He is in charge of his decisions. It’s shocking that he’s manipulating you. You shouldn’t be putting your life on hold because of him.
Bill & Ted had a great idea about another family member talking to him.
I know it isn’t going to be easy and we’ve got your back….we’re here to listen, offer advice and support you anyway we can. Keep talking to us - we understand 🥰
 
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Hello Sar how are things going for you ? We are all here to support you - sending a big hug to you 🥰
 
Thank you for your replies. Had a full on week at work and also been battling a cold - its been sitting in my sinuses so have felt extra yuky. Its still lingering and I just want it to go away!

My appointment is next week and although I have moments where I think I shouldn't go and open this can of worms, I know I need to. Had no sleep last night because he went to watch the football and didn't come back. Due to his previous threats I laid there awake all night wondering why he is so unfair. It takes two seconds to send a text to say he's stopping out! There isn't anyone in the family to tell, we don't really have anyone and those we were close to dropped us years ago. People know he'a pain in the backside and just say "kick him out" but that's hard when he threatens to get people he knows to smash the house up or lose me my job. I believe he would so this is how he is getting everything he wants. He knows he only has to say the words. I know its control, know its blackmail and I feel like I'm weak because I'm allowing him to do this. I can't even tell any friends about this, I'm ashamed to. They all have houses and cars, partners/ children and I'm still living at home and allowing him to blackmail me. What a life.
 
Oh Sar I’m so sorry he’s treats you this way. I’m glad you are going to see your GP - sometimes it will seem easier not to go but think of you …..you need some support. Tell your GP everything , even how your brother is behaving. The threats especially. This is abuse …..emotional, financial and mental. There are outside organisations that can support you , even if you don’t want them fully involved. Things can be done ! Keep positive and you can do this !
 
Claire W said:
I had a really bad funny turn / seizure yesterday that lasted nearly 12 hours 😞 Haven’t had one that bad for a while. I’m really fed up of them now. Feel really rough today
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Oh Claire W I’m sorry to hear you’ve been so poorly. Is your GP etc aware ? No wonder you feel rough today - sending a big hug
 
Sar said:
Thank you for your replies. Had a full on week at work and also been battling a cold - its been sitting in my sinuses so have felt extra yuky. Its still lingering and I just want it to go away!

My appointment is next week and although I have moments where I think I shouldn't go and open this can of worms, I know I need to. Had no sleep last night because he went to watch the football and didn't come back. Due to his previous threats I laid there awake all night wondering why he is so unfair. It takes two seconds to send a text to say he's stopping out! There isn't anyone in the family to tell, we don't really have anyone and those we were close to dropped us years ago. People know he'a pain in the backside and just say "kick him out" but that's hard when he threatens to get people he knows to smash the house up or lose me my job. I believe he would so this is how he is getting everything he wants. He knows he only has to say the words. I know its control, know its blackmail and I feel like I'm weak because I'm allowing him to do this. I can't even tell any friends about this, I'm ashamed to. They all have houses and cars, partners/ children and I'm still living at home and allowing him to blackmail me. What a life.
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Good luck at your appointment ❤️
 
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