The Goblin Diaries (previously Quitting Smoking)

So for the Zoom call tonight, I will have to shut myself in the kitchen. Partly this is because of the smoke alarm (I'll end up putting a hole in the ceiling trying to get it to shut up) and while the living area is open plan downstairs, the kitchen does have doors. My bedroom also has doors, but the kitchen doors are a good bit further away than the bedroom doors, so I can have a quick vape in peace.

Speaking of peace, there's the other reason - Cam has decided on a plan of attack since Wednesday's hiccup - 5% of the time, stay quiet to scare the heck out of me. The other 95%, raise absolute hell. Today He was making himself heard over the washing machine AND the fan in my room. It's incredible from a being so small. It's also slightly terrifying and very obnoxiously loud. He knows this. I know he knows this. But he does love a challenge.

Oh, Cam. I love you, but you're a PITA. #379, lol.
 
I wish I'd got a recording of him this morning if I'm honest, but I didn't have my phone on me and was wheezing with laughter as it was anyway. I got upstairs, opened the door, and the first pieces of pepper went into the cage in silence and then all hell breaks loose as the panicked "NO DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME" screeching starts and a box lid literally flies across the cage before he can get his head under the lip to leave the box behind. For pepper. He doesn't even like pepper that much.
 
Lorcan said:
I wish I'd got a recording of him this morning if I'm honest, but I didn't have my phone on me and was wheezing with laughter as it was anyway. I got upstairs, opened the door, and the first pieces of pepper went into the cage in silence and then all hell breaks loose as the panicked "NO DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME" screeching starts and a box lid literally flies across the cage before he can get his head under the lip to leave the box behind. For pepper. He doesn't even like pepper that much.
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Bless the wee man 🥰
 
#381

Uh, nobody tell the goblins, but I'm not going to have electricity for at least an hour today, and gas for several.

Bonus points for the guy replacing the meters who took one look at the boiler and panicked because it's ancient and definitely not what he was expecting to have to deal with on top of the rest of it. :)) Poor lad.
 
Oh dear, first there were the missing meals and now no heating. The goblins will definitely be reporting you to the GPU this time. Poor cold, starved skinny pigs. 😂

Glad i'm not you. Although, i'm not popular at the moment with the changes to Ginger Pig's diet. He really doesn't understand where the coriander has gone and was still shouting for it when i left for work. Glad i'm in the office and not working from the piggy room today.
 
YvonneBlue said:
Oh dear, first there were the missing meals and now no heating. The goblins will definitely be reporting you to the GPU this time. Poor cold, starved skinny pigs. 😂

Glad i'm not you. Although, i'm not popular at the moment with the changes to Ginger Pig's diet. He really doesn't understand where the coriander has gone and was still shouting for it when i left for work. Glad i'm in the office and not working from the piggy room today.
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I mean, you know how ancient the boiler is, and we've had to snuff out the pilot light. We've no idea if we can get it lit again afterwards 😱 but needs must because that cellar is a mess, the impression I got is he's not moving the meter just because he's putting the smart one in but he would've needed to move it anyway.

Speaking of coriander, I should try them with some again, I haven't bought any in a while since they decided it was Evil, like asparagus is Evil.
 
Dear Cam and Bann

This is the first time I have had a report of a misbehaving Slave in only a few days! Oh dear oh dear what is he thinking? First of all he starves you (you are to be congratulated on solving that one with the help of the GPU) but now he's going to make you freeze too! This is completely shocking and atrocious behaviour by your Slave and one which needs to be dealt with.

Does your Slave not realise that Skinny Pigs need to be kept at a certain temperature so that they don't get too cold? Does he also not realise that a few Snugglesafes and a bit more hay will not do the job? Neither will a few more snuggly fleecy hideys.

His excuse that the gas has been turned off for a few days just is not good enough! It should be left on for your benefit. How would he like it if he had no clothes on in the cold house? At least he can put more clothes on - you can't!

Right how to let your Slave know you are not happy about this treatment? Well you already know how to deafen him with your ear splitting wheaks so you definitely need to carry on with those and do it at all times instead of when you feel like it. Let him know that you are cold. Eat all the hay you can to keep up your strength and so it inconveniences your Slave because he'll have to put more hay in at odd times of the day and night. Insist he gives you more than your daily ration of pellets and generally make his life a nightmare as he is making yours a nightmare be forcing you to be cold.

Yours hoping your ordeal doesn't last too long

The One and Only Thea
Shop Steward
 
Thankfully we did get it relit, it's what, 70 years old? That was the biggest worry, whether or not it still knew how to work lol. And thankfully the smell of gas has gone from downstairs, because he's changed the meters and took the old ones out, but of course the old one was still full of gas. Yeugh.

For liability reasons he has to stick a "danger" notice on it because there's no knob for the fire portion of the boiler. Which there won't be because the fire portion got condemned. It's in the bin. He expected me to put it in the bin.

There's also a section of the paperwork where for whatever reason, I think the fire portion again, I'm meant to have the whole thing switched off til it can be serviced again but he's like "I've ticked the box that says you've told me you're happy to leave it" (good lad) "because I don't want to switch it off. I still don't trust the pilot light to switch back on".

70 year old boilers, my friends, lol.
 
#382. Oh boy.

So remember I said I had the smoke alarm replaced on Monday?

Well the new one wouldn't shut up. You'd get half an hour of peace at most and then I'd be swearing loudly and slamming doors and whacking the ceiling and then swearing loudly again once the alarm had shut up. Poor goblins. I had the door closed to their room because the alarm is Scary but I probably wasn't much better. They like me, though. Not the alarm. Me.

So I messaged my support worker after the stupid thing went off at least 5 times overnight. Once, it switched itself off. On the four occasions I did get out of bed, on one of those it waited til I was out of bed and my door closed behind me and the light switched on, then it switched itself off. This comedy routine is writing itself, lol.

So. Once more we had the men back with ladders and drills and we did 3 things - we replaced the alarm that hadn't shut up. We took tape off a sensor in case that was the problem. And, finally, we moved it from the ceiling to above the bathroom door. Still not the easiest place to reach but I can now reach it myself without "unintentionally" putting a hole in the ceiling beating the stuffing out of a smoke alarm.

It's been quiet since. Pure bliss.

On the subject of the goblins, I went in this morning and they were apparently sharing a hidey (miracles will never cease!) but when I said hello one poked his head out the front door and the other out the side door. In unison. I love those two. :wub:

So now we have new electric meters, new gas meters, a still working and firing boiler, a finally-working-properly fire alarm, and I only dropped a few pieces of tomato sauce covered pasta all over my shirt. What is it about tomato and pasta that makes everyone look as if they're feeding themselves like a toddler would?
 
Great day 382 🌟
Sounds like it started off a stressful day but by the end a successful peaceful day.
I love how Cam and Bann keep you guessing …..whatever next boys 😂
 
#383

I think there's a lesson somewhere in Cam's antics this morning. I've been waking up earlier and they still don't get fresh food before 11am, except now the gaps are longer between "first hay" and "first veg" and Cam doesn't appreciate this much. So far today I've been yelled at on at least three occasions.

But I wanted another drink, so needs must. I took their hay tub downstairs to refill it with Cam screaming the entire time (how many different ways can I groan "Cam, shut up", I wonder?) and back upstairs I go.
Now, if Cam gets hay, his usual response is to beg at the bars for another 5 minutes just to be sure I won't produce anything better. But he took one look at that new hay pile and ran off to get stuck in. Sharp, stabby, angry hay, and he loves it. Bonus points for Bann who went searching half the cage because if Cam's run off to actually eat something there's gotta be goodies there somewhere. Sorry, Bann. Blame Cam. Because I do.
 
Well done day 383 🥰
I love these two …. they definitely unpredictable but such fun 😂
 
"Cam no."
"Cam no shush."
"Cam pack it in."
"Cam for gods sake"
"Cam no."
"Cam!"
"Cam I meant it, no."
"It's right in front of you, Cam."
"It is, I can see it. Eat it."
"Cam there's no other food in the fridge."
"No I'm not lying, I'm waiting for Asda and they're late."
"Cam I'm just trying to..."

"...oh, that was Bann. Sorry Cam."

"...no that wasn't an excuse to get louder, Cam."

I walked up the stairs last night and as I got to the top of the stairs he poked his head out of a tunnel, like exactly on cue. And I know he can't see see me at that distance but I swear, he made eye contact and then went for it. Loudly. 😱

Also the smoke alarm went off again yesterday afternoon, so I took it off the wall and left it at the bottom of the stairs near the other one. "There, hang about with your mate for a bit and give my head peace." :xd: I did put it back on the wall before I went to bed, though.

Good morning, #384
 
The best bit was Bann sort of just standing there like, "Really? Learn to drive". It'll not stop Cam wearing the box as a hat, OR as him walking into things with the box as a hat blocking his view. He also bodychecked Bann out of the way to get some parsley last night. Just sidled up and...wham. Cheeky git. Last I saw them both they were happily munching on hay side by side though. They love each other really. :))
 
#385

I had the post arrive today with a parcel for me - that one I knew about.
Then I had a second visit from Royal Mail. Didn't see them post it, just got the notification saying "it's here!" with a photo of it on my front doorstep, although they put it through the letterbox afterwards.

Then I'm sitting upstairs. Fan's on, TV's on. Can I hear a knock on the door? Nah, I'm not expecting anyone. But then it sounds like another knock. Hmm. I should check. That might be my neighbour with more jigsaws.
So I get downstairs and...there's someone in orange on the doorstep. Yes. No, it can't be. Yes, yes it is. It's Royal Mail. Again.
So I open the door and...it's a box. With my name on it. But I didn't order anything else. And I keep looking blankly at the guy, so he's like...the address is right, right? Well, yes, but I didn't order anything from Jersey because I can see Jersey Post on the label. So we shrug, I take the box, and...I forgot I ordered some hay cubes the other day that weren't meant to be here til next week.

Oops.

Meanwhile Royal Mail can get here three times in one day and DPD still don't know how to find my front door. 🤷‍♂️
 
Betsy said:
My friend works for DPD and says "We charge top dollar but we give an excellent service and you get what you pay for". Clearly he doesn't know your DPD delivery driver!
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It's not just the driver here I don't think, it's the depot. They kept screwing up and apparently didn't appreciate the complaints when they did - but I don't complain about it just for nothing. If I was lucky, they'd be unable to find the house. Unlucky, and somehow they'd be unable to find my house on the Saturday but too busy to put it on the van on the Monday - that was the last straw, really.

And aside from the hiccups finding the goblins some hay, I don't regret refusing to use DPDs services. My stuff turns up when it's supposed to, DHL, Parcelforce...hell, even Hermes manages to get here. Hermes. If you manage to be worse than Hermes, you've got problems, lol.
 
You’re doing so great - day 385
I’m glad you got all those parcels - I find Royal Mail is great round my way 😂
 
Roselina said:
You’re doing so great - day 385
I’m glad you got all those parcels - I find Royal Mail is great round my way 😂
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I knew the first one was coming, the second one was a tad more iffy because it wasn't in Rochdale this morning, just Manchester, but that happens sometimes, usually just means a later, separate delivery time like it was today.

The third one, I can only imagine the look of confusion on my face as he's handing me the box, because he took it back to double check all the details first while I stared blankly at him :))
 
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