The Goblin Diaries (previously Quitting Smoking)

Lorcan said:
I did not! All I can think of today is, wtf did I think this was a good idea for:

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Yes, I'm working on it upside down. Easier to reach the top this way.
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My first thought when I saw your pic was that you were doing a jigsaw of a Subutteo board. Do I need new glasses?
🤓
 
Tonight's shenanigans thus far - I dozed off for a bit, woke up, grabbed the Snugglesafes. Needed the bog but figured I'd redo their water bowl first.

Did that, grabbed my hoodie.

Realised I left my keys on the windowsill, went back in for those. Cam's out and about now and I've been and come back a few times so surely the nighttime goodies are ready!? And he's adamant so I get him a singular pellet (Science Selective because the Excel tub is too noisy and the Versele are massive). Skedaddle quick before the protests start.

Finally get using the toilet. Put on hoodie. Realise it's not the black hoodie I thought it was. Had to go back to find where the other one was.

Cam's very confused. I left him staring downwards into the hay pile he was sitting on. Sorry, Cam. Take it out on Bann, you know it's his fault anyway.
 
The goblins and I have a new game. I go upstairs with their food and see how many pieces of pepper/cucumber etc I put in the cage before food outweighs laziness and they come and get it.

The game part comes from me - while they're still in bed, I'm tossing the food across every area of the cage that isn't their beds, and that I'm doing it from the bedroom door. They're not in any danger because the cage is big enough for it and the minute one is out and about it stops but til then, it's much less mundane than repeatedly calling their names like they'll ever pay mind.
 
That sounds a great game !
Geoff and Bobby are out of their beds as soon as I walk by 😂
 
Sat downstairs this morning, I'd just put the washing machine on, and suddenly I hear Summon Wheeks from upstairs and I'm confused, I've not heard the Summon Wheeks for a while. In calling "guys what is it?" up the stairs (like I'm somehow expecting a sensible answer) I see the clock.

My friends it was 11:10 and breakfast was 10 minutes late. Funny how quick they get their voices back when they're hangry.
 
I skipped breakfast.
Specifically, I missed Goblin Second Breakfast.

I had a hammering at the door that turned out to be Royal Mail (plus my ever-great Evri driver delivering a lamp to me this morning because I have no lamps in the house, and they'd be useful, lol). Booked it down the stairs, got my parcels, looked at the clock, swore a lot, sliced up a pepper, legged it up the stairs asking them wtf was wrong with them they'd let me be that late and arrived at the doorway where they lifted their heads from their hay pile, looked at me like I was some kinda mad eejit, and then went back to eating hay and ignoring me.

I am never going to understand these two.
 
Bann managed to throw his cucumber across the cage because he got twitchy and turned round with an impressive jolt of speed I had no idea he was capable of. Cam, meanwhile, despite Bann jumping on his feet and throwing the cucumber mere millimeters past his nose, just ignored him.

Plus someone met them today for the first time and thought Cam was the cutest thing ever :wub:. She said the same thing about Bann too but he took a couple of minutes to realise pea flakes were up for grabs and even then only when one was tossed to land in front of his bed.
 
Oh my goodness no wonder you fell in love them at first sight - so cute ❤️❤️
 
:)) I am a mean Human. I went to check on the goblins earlier and found a stray piece of cucumber that had so far escaped being gnawed on. It was at the opposite corner of the cage to their beds so they'd probably not even twigged something was there. So I tossed it towards their beds thinking at least one of them would react.

Well, they did. Both did. Both ran out of bed sniffing the air, straight past the cucumber and straight towards me for the Loot.

By the time I got back upstairs Cam had claimed it but good grief, tis hard not to laugh.
 
Roselina said:
I thought that too …..Miss Bramble might be reading about it 😂
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Miss Bramble IS reading about it and is going to write a letter to Bann and Cam ....... ahem

Dear Bann and Cam

I hear your Slave is in the habit of finding food that you have left in your cage (how is this possible?🤔) and instead of giving you lovely fresh stuff picks it up and chucks it in your general direction. You don't realise (and quite rightly so) that he hasn't got any lovely fresh cucumber, pepper, lettuce or whatever veg he has about his person and you rush up to him and expect to be fed some lovely treat. When this expected treat doesn't arrive, what does he do about this? He laughs at you! The very cheek! The audacity! The sheer recklessness of this behaviour is just astounding! How very dare he appear in/near your cage without food!

In future, you need to ensure that this doesn't happen again. Either give him the silent treatment or wheak at the top of your lungs. You know your Slave best and what will worry him/annoy him the most. Start bar biting as Slaves find the noise strangely comforting and ignore him when he tells you to stop as he doesn't mean it. Don't come out of your hideys or do depending on how you are feeling at the time when food is around. Do what you know annoys your Slave and he will be so worried about you he will give you some food just to make sure that you are OK.

Yours horrified that your Slave should treat you in this manner.

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
 
Dear Miss Bramble,

I am writing on behalf of Bann and Camowen because they're too busy squabbling over paper to reply.

They have a large cave and sometimes they don't realise food is on the other side of the cage. I spread their food around the cage because it gives them something to do (and means they squabble less) but occasionally they will miss a piece.

When I arrived back upstairs I had more cucumber for them both. Bann got first dibs.

I also don't toss food around the cage if they're not in their beds because Bann would get himself into the firing line. If they're out of their beds they'll always come to me for their food.

I apologise for cutting this short, but from what my ears are hearing, I need to find some more packing paper and fast.

Yours,
The Human.
 
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