Dear Pepper
Even though I am on holiday at Aunty Lilli's, it has come to my attention that you have been forced to have a Buzz cut.
How would your Slave like to have all her hair chopped off with no say in the matter? Hey?
I'm very pleased to learn that you gave your Slave a hard time while she was chopping away merrily on your lovely locks. Her excuse may be that you'll be cooler now that the summer has arrived but that is still not enough recompense for cutting off your beautiful wild furdo.
You need to make your Slave realise how unhappy you are with this new "do" and how it makes you look like a different piggy. A piggy's fur is sacrosanct and should never be touched except for the occasional bum bath and groom.
For the next few days or even weeks (you know your Slave best so you can judge for how long) you need to turn your back on your Slave so she realises you aren't happy with her. Ask Pringle to do the same so you show solidarity. (You can always tell him that he may be having a Buzz cut too). Wheek loudly at every opportunity you get eg, when you Slave is on the phone, watching the TV, when she goes out, when she comes in, in fact when she does anything. You haven't got any bars to chew on so how about chewing on your wooden castle to annoy her?
Here's hoping that your Slave never has the audacity to trim your locks without your permission again.
Yours outraged by the way you have been treated
The One and Only Thea
Shop Steward