Minnou’s piggies

Dear Gaia

Tell your Slave to read at this:-

An Illustrated Guide to Hair Cutting | The Guinea Pig Forum


My Slave wrote it before I was born.

The Ever Beautiful Betsy was the founder of the GPU and she sits beautifully while her (now my) Slave cuts her hair and gives her a lovely fur do.

Your helpful friend
Miss Bramble
Shop Steward

Dear Miss Bramble,

My Slave has read this. I like to kick up a fuss regardless and she is just a bad hairdresser; no artistry, no vision. I may as well let Minerva chew on my bum, it would achieve the same look!

Your friend,

Gaia
 
Dear Gaia

Your Slave just needs a bit of practice. Slave wasn't happy with my furdo or that of Misty. We were supposed to get a very fashionable wedge cut but as Slave was out of practice we ended up with a bit of a messy wedge cut instead!

Your messy haired friend

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
 
Dear Gaia

Your Slave just needs a bit of practice. Slave wasn't happy with my furdo or that of Misty. We were supposed to get a very fashionable wedge cut but as Slave was out of practice we ended up with a bit of a messy wedge cut instead!

Your messy haired friend

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward

Dear Miss Bramble,

Practice means more touching, not sure I can tolerate that. Plus I have my doubts that the Slave will improve... And she only seems interested in my bum and back legs. I quite fancy having a mohawk on top but does the Slave listen?

Your fab hairdo deprived friend,

Gaia
 
I like to keep their cage very tidy and they like making it a tip.

I knew I was going to do a full cage clean today and wash all their bedding so yesterday I decided they could be as messy as they like and I joined in and just launched hay all over the cage and, feeling mischevious, decided to cram a pile of it into the doorway of the den they were lounging around in so they'd have to fight their way out.

Minerva burst through it and then back in and out again, enjoying her new game, and was also delighted to see that the rest of the cage was a mess and the pair of them spent most of the evening and night galloping and popcorning around their disaster zone. :roll:
 
It's when they jam themselves into a bed, realise they can't get out of it without clearing the doorway, and then get very cranky at you for daring to rescue them from themselves.
 
It's when they jam themselves into a bed, realise they can't get out of it without clearing the doorway, and then get very cranky at you for daring to rescue them from themselves.
Helping them in any way shape or form seems to earn their wrath.

Rescue Gaia when she insists on trying to squeeze herself through the tiniest gap between the radiator pipe and the skirting board? Get glared at.

Pluck hay out of Gaia's nose or away from her eyes so she doesn't get irritated or hurt? Get glared at.

Give Gaia a helpful bum lift when she wants to get someplace high but can't as apparently she only knows how to popcorn and not how to jump? Get glared at.

Retrieve Gaia's snack from whenever she has gotten it stuck or otherwise misplaced it. Get glared at.

...

Actually, it's only Gaia who is cranky 24/7. Minerva is fine.
 
Helping them in any way shape or form seems to earn their wrath.

Rescue Gaia when she insists on trying to squeeze herself through the tiniest gap between the radiator pipe and the skirting board? Get glared at.

Pluck hay out of Gaia's nose or away from her eyes so she doesn't get irritated or hurt? Get glared at.

Give Gaia a helpful bum lift when she wants to get someplace high but can't as apparently she only knows how to popcorn and not how to jump? Get glared at.

Retrieve Gaia's snack from whenever she has gotten it stuck or otherwise misplaced it. Get glared at.

...

Actually, it's only Gaia who is cranky 24/7. Minerva is fine.

I know the pain. I've rescued Cam's food from when he's dropped it through the cage bars only for him to believe I stole it in the first place. Cam thieves Bann's food all the time but somehow it's my fault when he can't keep hold of it, lol.
 
I know the pain. I've rescued Cam's food from when he's dropped it through the cage bars only for him to believe I stole it in the first place. Cam thieves Bann's food all the time but somehow it's my fault when he can't keep hold of it, lol.
This is when I feel sorry for Minerva because Gaia always steals her treats and Minerva never glares at Gaia, nor I; she just politely wanders over to me and gives me a hopeful/pleading look; 'Pwease, Slave. May I have some more?'
 
I mean Bann doesn't help matters by getting his food nicked, coming to me for more, and proceeding to run straight into the same bed Cam's still inside and somehow expecting it not to go wrong again. I wish I could understand his thought process sometimes.

And then I remember the glares he gives me because I dared to help him out, and I shrug and leave Cam to nick his food again. Who are we to argue with the order of things? :whistle:
 
I mean Bann doesn't help matters by getting his food nicked, coming to me for more, and proceeding to run straight into the same bed Cam's still inside and somehow expecting it not to go wrong again. I wish I could understand his thought process sometimes.

And then I remember the glares he gives me because I dared to help him out, and I shrug and leave Cam to nick his food again. Who are we to argue with the order of things? :whistle:
That is Minerva. :xd:

Gaia is smart enough to know that Minerva likes to run off with her prize and eat it in one of the dens, so, Gaia simply lies in wait for her prey and snatches the treat out of Minerva's mouth.

Then Minerva receives another and hurries back to the same den where Gaia is.

I can't tell if Minerva is;

A) As dumb as a box of rocks.

B) Knows Gaia rules with an iron paw and is knowingly delivering food to Gaia because she knows she expects it.

C) Very maternal and is feeding her 'baby' Gaia. Her baby is bigger than her and very capable of feeding herself but no matter.
 
That is Minerva. :xd:

Gaia is smart enough to know that Minerva likes to run off with her prize and eat it in one of the dens, so, Gaia simply lies in wait for her prey and snatches the treat out of Minerva's mouth.

Then Minerva receives another and hurries back to the same den where Gaia is.

I can't tell if Minerva is;

A) As dumb as a box of rocks.

B) Knows Gaia rules with an iron paw and is knowingly delivering food to Gaia because she knows she expects it.

C) Very maternal and is feeding her 'baby' Gaia. Her baby is bigger than her and very capable of feeding herself but no matter.
I'd go for A.
 
A (sorry Minerva)
My original boy, Tim Nice but Dim was a guinea pig Adonis, but brains? No
Mischievous Master Boris, stunning but thick as a brick.
Dignified Sir George, a bit magpie, a bit roan, too fuzzy to be smooth but not enough to be floof...
Brains in abundance.
 
A (sorry Minerva)
My original boy, Tim Nice but Dim was a guinea pig Adonis, but brains? No
Mischievous Master Boris, stunning but thick as a brick.
Dignified Sir George, a bit magpie, a bit roan, too fuzzy to be smooth but not enough to be floof...
Brains in abundance.
I would like to hear some examples of Dignified Sir George using his noggin. 🧠
 
I sometimes tie treats so they are hanging and they have to reach up to eat them. While Master Boris is performing acrobatics, Sir George moves the food bowl and turns it over to rest his legs on. This then quickly progressed to him chewing the string at the top to release the treat and eat it at his leisure.
 
I sometimes tie treats so they are hanging and they have to reach up to eat them. While Master Boris is performing acrobatics, Sir George moves the food bowl and turns it over to rest his legs on. This then quickly progressed to him chewing the string at the top to release the treat and eat it at his leisure.
😱

Is there a Mensa for piggies?
 
Lately, for both my own amusement and theirs, I've been leaving them in the cage whilst trying to clean it out/change the mats etc.

I don't know why I ever thought it would be a good idea. 😭

Because they know I'm not after them for a cuddle, they spend the entire time getting in the way, wriggling about, popcorning over every mat I try to lift, doing hurdles over my arms, climbing in the dustpan... proper nuisances. :xd:
 
Gave them a whole, large carrot just to see if their eyes would bulge out of their heads.

Gaia was hiding away somewhere, only Minerva was out so she got to it first and attempted to carry it off to the den like she usually does but it was a struggle. :xd:

She bit down on one end and tried to drag the carrot away, ended up straddling it so it was being dragged along under her belly and between her legs, with her walking awkwardly along, almost doing the splits.

Gaia ran out after hearing the crunch, somehow managed to completely miss Minerva rodeo-riding a very large carrot back to the den and came to shout at me instead 'I hear food. I smell food. I do not see food. What is the meaning of this, Slave?'

There really is nothing between the ears of either of them. :xd:
 
Gaia: "MISS BRAMBLE! I NEED MISS BRAMBLE!"

Gaia: *hastily typing a rage letter with her hefty paws*

Dear Miss Bramble!

Sorry but this cannot wait! The Slave has enraged me today! Minerva and I were out and about on our daily stroll and at some point, I cannot remember when, I may have done a tinkle in an inappropriate place i.e. somewhere there wasn't a mat to soak it up and I lingered there a bit, daydreaming as I sometimes do... Anyway, the Slave approached me to return me to my bed and found that I was quite wet and she said that I stunk and she looked quited disgusted with me! I'll have you know that my pee smells like 90% glorious guinea-pig, 10% roses. But that wasn't the worst of it....

The. Slave. BATHED. ME!

Well, not all of me... just my belly and my bum in warm water with 'sham's poo' - honestly, she complains about MY pee but wants to wash me in some other creature's poo? What is wrong with this Slave? Then she kept bundling me up in warm towels and cuddling me. So... I peed on her. And when she placed me on a solid surface and tried to trim my hair again, I peed on that too. Now I smell like me again and not sham's poo. At least I got some carrot for my trauma....

Oh, and then, once the Slave had returned me to my bed, Minerva started getting frisky with me so I had to tell her off as well.

I've had a terrible day!

Please wheek back your sympathy and ideas for revenge.

Your fed up friend,

Gaia x
 
Minerva is going all out with her rumblestruts today; she has combined the strut with popcorning and is throwing her head about at the same, resulting in several collisions with boxes and furniture.

It's like Monty's Python's Ministry of Silly Walks but with headbanging.
 
Gaia: "MISS BRAMBLE! I NEED MISS BRAMBLE!"

Gaia: *hastily typing a rage letter with her hefty paws*

Dear Miss Bramble!

Sorry but this cannot wait! The Slave has enraged me today! Minerva and I were out and about on our daily stroll and at some point, I cannot remember when, I may have done a tinkle in an inappropriate place i.e. somewhere there wasn't a mat to soak it up and I lingered there a bit, daydreaming as I sometimes do... Anyway, the Slave approached me to return me to my bed and found that I was quite wet and she said that I stunk and she looked quited disgusted with me! I'll have you know that my pee smells like 90% glorious guinea-pig, 10% roses. But that wasn't the worst of it....

The. Slave. BATHED. ME!

Well, not all of me... just my belly and my bum in warm water with 'sham's poo' - honestly, she complains about MY pee but wants to wash me in some other creature's poo? What is wrong with this Slave? Then she kept bundling me up in warm towels and cuddling me. So... I peed on her. And when she placed me on a solid surface and tried to trim my hair again, I peed on that too. Now I smell like me again and not sham's poo. At least I got some carrot for my trauma....

Oh, and then, once the Slave had returned me to my bed, Minerva started getting frisky with me so I had to tell her off as well.

I've had a terrible day!

Please wheek back your sympathy and ideas for revenge.

Your fed up friend,

Gaia x
Dear Gaia

What a bad day you've had. It is clearly your Slave's fault that she didn't put a pee pad down in the correct place for you to have your little tinkle on. What sort of Slave is she? Not anticipating your every need. And to complain that you are wet underneath and then tell you that you stink (how very rude) and THEN give you a bath :yikes: the very cheek of her! I would not stand for this behaviour from your Slave at all. I think you coped with your traumatic treatment very well by weeing everywhere you could. You are to be commended on your swift action. I agree that there must be something wrong with your model of Slave by her wanting to wash you in Sham's poo (who is Sham? What sort of creature is a Sham? Do we know? Do we want to find out?). I really hope that Sham's poo was safe to be bathed in.

Now how to deal with a frisky Minerva? If she is having her Season she is bound to be a bit out of sorts so you just have to be a bit patient with her. You told her off which is good as she was annoying you. Every girly pig has different reactions to being in Season some are nice and placid and others are a nightmare. You just have to put up with Minerva being a bit annoying for a few days. Remember, she has to be patient and kind when you are in Season.

As for revenge, the GPU don't advise on revenge, they advise on ways of dealing with unruly Slaves and I feel that by weeing on your Slave that told your Slave you weren't happy. Hopefully there won't be a repeat case of bathing.


Yours not happy about the way your Slave has treated you


Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
 
Dear Gaia

What a bad day you've had. It is clearly your Slave's fault that she didn't put a pee pad down in the correct place for you to have your little tinkle on. What sort of Slave is she? Not anticipating your every need. And to complain that you are wet underneath and then tell you that you stink (how very rude) and THEN give you a bath :yikes: the very cheek of her! I would not stand for this behaviour from your Slave at all. I think you coped with your traumatic treatment very well by weeing everywhere you could. You are to be commended on your swift action. I agree that there must be something wrong with your model of Slave by her wanting to wash you in Sham's poo (who is Sham? What sort of creature is a Sham? Do we know? Do we want to find out?). I really hope that Sham's poo was safe to be bathed in.

Now how to deal with a frisky Minerva? If she is having her Season she is bound to be a bit out of sorts so you just have to be a bit patient with her. You told her off which is good as she was annoying you. Every girly pig has different reactions to being in Season some are nice and placid and others are a nightmare. You just have to put up with Minerva being a bit annoying for a few days. Remember, she has to be patient and kind when you are in Season.

As for revenge, the GPU don't advise on revenge, they advise on ways of dealing with unruly Slaves and I feel that by weeing on your Slave that told your Slave you weren't happy. Hopefully there won't be a repeat case of bathing.


Yours not happy about the way your Slave has treated you


Miss Bramble
Shop Steward

Dear Miss Bramble,

I have a confession to make; the Slave did put a mat down where I decided to have a tinkle but I like moving the mats and I did just that right before I did my business and sat in it. But it's still her fault for not gorilla taping them to the ground to prevent me from moving them.

The bottle of sham's poo had a picture of some guinea-pigs on it but the liquid didn't smell anything like a guinea-pig so I still have my suspicions about it. I have to say, since my bath and trim my fur is looking good and is silky smooth! So 1 point to the Slave. However, I'm still going to pee on her at least one more time because I didn't like being washed and I've told Minerva to chew on the Slave's slippers (although Minerva does that anyway).

It is true that Minerva is rather more patient with me when I am in season but I don't pester her half as much as she does me! The Slave does right occasionally by trying to distract her with food.

Your beautifully furry friend,

Gaia
 
Gaia and I are watching Minerva slowly rumblestrut across the entire length of the room and into a box where she goes quiet for a few seconds before starting her engine again and slowly rumblestrutting across the room again in the direction she'd just come from.

Sometimes she just leapfrogs a good 2 feet across the room from starting position.

Gaia looks as befuddled as me, so no point in asking her to explain it. Just going to assume Minerva is broken.
 
Let the girls out for a stroll.

Minerva found one of my slippers and that held her attention for quite a while (not sure why she likes them so much). It was on its side and she had a good sniff of it, nibbled it all over, climbed all over it.

Then, after sitting next to it and pondering for a while, she shoved her nose under it and flipped it so that it was the right way up, then she did a little head bob that looked like a nod and walked off. Job done apparently. :hmm:
 
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