Minnou’s piggies

Betsy said:
That is Thea's "FEED ME NOW SLAVE" face.
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I get that face for anything, everything, nothing and whatever perceived slight that is yet to happen.

I'm thinking of drawing some very thick, cross-looking eyebrows on her face to let everyone else, who can't read her as well as I do, know that she means business.
 
*Gaia at some point in the future probably....*

Gaia on the phone (don't ask me how): "Hello? RSPCA? Yes, I'd like to make a complaint. We've only had breakfast, 2nd breakfast, a snack, lunch, access to hay and water all day, some treats, tea, more snacks and some supper. So you see, we're being starved."
 
Dear Gaia

You don't need to phone the RSPCA I'm here as your GPU (Guinea Pig Union) Rep. If you need assistance in any aspect of Slave Training I am here for you and all the other piggies on the Forum.

My advice has been proved to work on many occasions.

Your friend

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
 
Betsy said:
Dear Gaia

You don't need to phone the RSPCA I'm here as your GPU (Guinea Pig Union) Rep. If you need assistance in any aspect of Slave Training I am here for you and all the other piggies on the Forum.

My advice has been proved to work on many occasions.

Your friend

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
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Dear Miss Bramble

I would be very appreciative of your wisdom and experience in dealing with Slaves. Slave Training is difficult. My main Slave does kind of OK now and then but the other part-time Slave is completely useless and I've bitten her twice now and she is still rubbish. I receive no assistance from Minerva, who just gives the Slaves neck snuggles instead of disciplining them (the rest of the time she just does zoomies, the idiot).

With gratitude

Gaia
 
Dear Gaia

I'll give you some assistance tomorrow as its nearly time for supper of pea flakes, apple chunks and forage then Misty and I settle down for the night in our cosy cage and Thea settles down in her hay tray.

Your friend

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
 
Well these two handled their first firework night better than I thought they would.

I've been playing the noises on low in the background for them for a few days to try and desensitize them but none of the videos had those awful fireworks that don't put on a pretty display and just sound like a bomb being dropped.

I gave them extra food and hay to hide in and covered almost all of the cage with blankets, leaving just a spy hole for me to keep an eye on them.

When the fireworks started, they were both outside of their hideys and just stood there like statues and looked like they were in a trance. Then I paid closer attention to Gaia and I could see her breathing rapidly and trembling and when she laid down I thought it was out of fear rather than relaxation so I went to get her and hold but they both legged it into their favourite den and I didn't see either of them again until the noise died down and I had some veggies for them. :xd:
 
Dear Gaia

Fear not! You Slave training begins here! I'm not sure what you need in terms of training your Slave so we'll start with the basics.

Page 1, Chapter 1, Section 1a of the Booklet "How to Train Your Slave" states: "You need to get your Slave to understand that you must be fed on time every day" It then goes on to suggest various ways to do this.
  • Whenever your Slave goes past your cage, hutch, room, garage, shed or wherever you live wheek loudly.
  • Whenever you hear the front door, back door, fridge door or any type of door open wheek loudly.
  • Whenever your Slave happens to be eating anything and not offering any of it to you wheek loudly.
If you find that wheaking is ignored then you need to step it up a level.
  • Look adoringly and full of hunger at your Slave with your front feet up on the bars.
  • Push your food bowl around your hutch with your nose or drag it with your teeth.
  • Put your front feet on your bowl and gaze longingly at your Slave.
If you find that this is ignored, there is one thing that all Slaves find strangely comforting (they would say VERY ANNOYING) but it seems to work.
  • Bite on the bars of your cage or the wire on your run/hutch. The noise it makes is just at the right pitch to ensure your Slave will get up and feed you just to get you to stop.
Hope this helps you begin training your Slave.

Your training pal

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
 
Betsy said:
Dear Gaia

Fear not! You Slave training begins here! I'm not sure what you need in terms of training your Slave so we'll start with the basics.

Page 1, Chapter 1, Section 1a of the Booklet "How to Train Your Slave" states: "You need to get your Slave to understand that you must be fed on time every day" It then goes on to suggest various ways to do this.
  • Whenever your Slave goes past your cage, hutch, room, garage, shed or wherever you live wheek loudly.
  • Whenever you hear the front door, back door, fridge door or any type of door open wheek loudly.
  • Whenever your Slave happens to be eating anything and not offering any of it to you wheek loudly.
If you find that wheaking is ignored then you need to step it up a level.
  • Look adoringly and full of hunger at your Slave with your front feet up on the bars.
  • Push your food bowl around your hutch with your nose or drag it with your teeth.
  • Put your front feet on your bowl and gaze longingly at your Slave.
If you find that this is ignored, there is one thing that all Slaves find strangely comforting (they would say VERY ANNOYING) but it seems to work.
  • Bite on the bars of your cage or the wire on your run/hutch. The noise it makes is just at the right pitch to ensure your Slave will get up and feed you just to get you to stop.
Hope this helps you begin training your Slave.

Your training pal

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
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Dear Miss Bramble,

Thank-you for the first lesson. I think I have already mastered some of these techniques (almost) on my own! Minerva was first to learn the language of 'wheek' with which to speak to our Slaves and I followed suit after seeing that it brought results. Not only do we wheek at any door opening or the sounds of rustling, we have taught ourselves to recognise the difference between those silly things the Slaves put on their feet; they sound different, you see. We know which mean they are leaving the house and we wheek to remind them that they must return with some lovely grass.

Sadly, we both fail at bowl-flipping but I find that if I stand elegantly at the bowl with both my front paws on it, it pleases the Slave as they think I look 'prim and proper' and quite lovely and they reward me which something tasty. Minerva finds that jumping on top of a hidey and staring down the Slave works best for her. I can't be bothered jumping and refuse to do it.

Minerva and I find that working as a team is often very effective as well; we stand together at the side of the cage and patiently wait with our noses in the air as though we have caught the scent of something and the Slave seems to find that cute as well and brings us something.

Do let us know if there are any other tips/tricks we can use to our advantage.

Kind regards,

Gaia (& Minerva)
 
Betsy said:
Dear Gaia and Minerva

I'm so glad that the basics have been worked out by yourselves. If your Slaves ever step out of line even by the tiniest amount remember that I am here to help you.

Your friend

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
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Dear Miss Bramble,

The Slave has already stepped out of line today! Minerva and I were gallivanting around outside our house today and we decided to correct the Slave's decorating and started ripping some wallpaper off the wall. Well, the Slave did not seem to appreciate our help! She gently told us off and gave us kisses and cuddles but SHE TOLD US OFF! How dare she?! What would be the appropriate punishment?

Eagerly awaiting your response,

Gaia & Minerva
 
Dear Gaia and Minerva

Your Slave really should have appreciated your help more with your redecorating skills. She could have given you a worse punishment than kisses and cuddles but she really didn't need to tell you off.

Every time your Slave comes near you, turn your bums towards her and refuse to turn around. Also make it very hard for her to pick you up by running away as fast as possible. Hopefully, your Slave will realise that you aren't happy at being told off.

Your friend who is always here for you

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
 
Betsy said:
Dear Gaia and Minerva

Your Slave really should have appreciated your help more with your redecorating skills. She could have given you a worse punishment than kisses and cuddles but she really didn't need to tell you off.

Every time your Slave comes near you, turn your bums towards her and refuse to turn around. Also make it very hard for her to pick you up by running away as fast as possible. Hopefully, your Slave will realise that you aren't happy at being told off.

Your friend who is always here for you

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
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Dear Miss Bramble,

I turn my bum towards my Slave even if she has been well behaved but I shall run away from her more and encourage Minerva to do the same! Also I may take a chunk out of one of the chairs to punish her more.

Your friend and star pupil,

Gaia
 
Gaia to Minerva: "Do we chew up the toys, nature sticks and cardboard boxes bought for us for this very purpose? Or, do we chew up the furniture?"

Gaia & Minerva in unison: "Furniture..."
 
Good luck to you. I gave up with my two monsters when it comes to chewing their chair. I do stop them whenever I can but the damage has been done. My past piggies never managed to destroyed it, only bit some of it and left some marks. But Bryce and Whitney...nooooo, they need to make a point that they can destroy it. They've only been together for 1 year and 5 months, and they really tagged team on it. 😑😭 :hb:

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Dear Gaia and Minerva

I understand that you asked your Slave nice and politely for dandelions and your Slave didn't have any. What sort of Slave have you got?!? You are doing well at chattering your teeth at her so she knows you aren't happy and she knows what she should have done. Clearly you are continuing your Slave training nicely. Your Slave may need to go on the Naughty List for a bit. The Committee at the GPU is meeting tomorrow where I shall put her name forward. The Committee will decide if she needs to go on it temporarily or if she will be added to the Wall of Shame of those Slaves who are on it forever. I'll report back when I have the answer.

Your friend

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
 
Betsy said:
Dear Gaia and Minerva

I understand that you asked your Slave nice and politely for dandelions and your Slave didn't have any. What sort of Slave have you got?!? You are doing well at chattering your teeth at her so she knows you aren't happy and she knows what she should have done. Clearly you are continuing your Slave training nicely. Your Slave may need to go on the Naughty List for a bit. The Committee at the GPU is meeting tomorrow where I shall put her name forward. The Committee will decide if she needs to go on it temporarily or if she will be added to the Wall of Shame of those Slaves who are on it forever. I'll report back when I have the answer.

Your friend

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
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Dear Miss Bramble,

Our Slave did explain to us that she felt we shouldn't have dandelions every day as she thinks they contain too much calcium which may be bad for us and she had given us a large pile of them yesterday but we are still very insulted and feel like we shouldn't be on any kind of diet! Dandelions taste very nice and we want them all the time! So even if the Slave has our best interests at heart, we believe she should still be punished but we'll let the higher ups decide how best to proceed.

Eagerly awaiting the committee's decision,

Gaia & Minerva
 
Dear Gaia and Minerva

Following today's meeting of the Committee of the GPU, it was decided to put your Slaves temporarily on the Naughty List. This is a very serious offence. Your Slaves will only come off the Naughty List when they can prove that they are treating you in a manner in which you wish to become accustomed.

Your friend here for you when you need her most

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
 
Betsy said:
Dear Gaia and Minerva

Following today's meeting of the Committee of the GPU, it was decided to put your Slaves temporarily on the Naughty List. This is a very serious offence. Your Slaves will only come off the Naughty List when they can prove that they are treating you in a manner in which you wish to become accustomed.

Your friend here for you when you need her most

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
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Dear Miss Bramble,

I'm sorry to say that Minerva and I are quite disappointed with the committee's decision; we thought at the very least our Slave would receive a thrashing and have her favourite music CDs burned in front of her. I could console myself by peeing on her instead, I suppose... Oh, and could the committee please reprimand Minerva? She keeps sitting on my food and also keeps trying to mount me! Oh, the indignity! My Slave is quite unsympathetic, pointing out that'd I'd been doing the same to Minerva just a couple of days ago but it's different when I do it!

Your eternally suffering pupil and friend,

Gaia
 
Dear Gaia

The GPU's decision is final. Thrashing of Slaves is strictly forbidden as the ethos of the GPU is "treat others how you would like to be treated" and you certainly wouldn't want a thrashing would you? However the peeing on your Slave is allowed. How another sow behaves towards you when she is in heat is hardly a reprimandable offence as we all act differently depending on our hormones and why is it different when you do it? On a personal note, I know I'm a nightmare to live it when I'm in heat. I rumble at my Slave and I'm not very nice to my Mum Misty but as they both love me the put up with it because they know I'm lovely really.

Your friend
Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
 
Betsy said:
Dear Gaia

The GPU's decision is final. Thrashing of Slaves is strictly forbidden as the ethos of the GPU is "treat others how you would like to be treated" and you certainly wouldn't want a thrashing would you? However the peeing on your Slave is allowed. How another sow behaves towards you when she is in heat is hardly a reprimandable offence as we all act differently depending on our hormones and why is it different when you do it? On a personal note, I know I'm a nightmare to live it when I'm in heat. I rumble at my Slave and I'm not very nice to my Mum Misty but as they both love me the put up with it because they know I'm lovely really.

Your friend
Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
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Dear Miss Bramble,

I wish to be treated like a Queen but I'm not willing to go that far for my Slave! That said, I will try to be a bit nicer to her and will not be physically abusive towards her; verbal abuse only from now on. I am glad that peeing is allowed. I am top pig in our household and Minerva should respect that and find something else to mount; our Slave's slippers, for example! I will tolerate Minerva's behaviour though as I don't want the Slave to think I want Minerva gone; I'd be lonely without her and goodness knows I couldn't trust the Slave to choose a different companion for me - what if she brought home a pig with hair that is even more fabulous than mine? I can't, nay, won't! Be second best!

Your fabulous friend,

Gaia
 
Dear Gaia

Pleased to know that you are, at last, being sensible. It's better the devil you know after all. If your Slave decided that you and Minerva didn't get on and separated you and got new friends for both of you then where would you be? Missing Minerva and her quirky habits and having to get used to a new annoying friend. Maybe your Slave may think that a boar would be a good idea :yikes:. My Mum Misty has told me all about them and said that I have to keep myself "nice" and that is what I intend to do. The problem is, what if my Slave thinks that a boar might be a good idea?:yikes: Then all my intentions won't last for long! Try and keep Minerva as your friend for as long as you can.

Your friend who is always here for advice

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
 
Betsy said:
Dear Gaia

Pleased to know that you are, at last, being sensible. It's better the devil you know after all. If your Slave decided that you and Minerva didn't get on and separated you and got new friends for both of you then where would you be? Missing Minerva and her quirky habits and having to get used to a new annoying friend. Maybe your Slave may think that a boar would be a good idea :yikes:. My Mum Misty has told me all about them and said that I have to keep myself "nice" and that is what I intend to do. The problem is, what if my Slave thinks that a boar might be a good idea?:yikes: Then all my intentions won't last for long! Try and keep Minerva as your friend for as long as you can.

Your friend who is always here for advice

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
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Dear Miss Bramble,

My Slave has given Minerva and I "the talk" and also warned us about boars but then again, she warns us about a lot of things and we both ignore her. However, we will never ignore you, Miss Bramble, so I shall pretend to be on my best behaviour always in front of my Slave. In fact, I've begun to copy Minerva more; that means a lot of jumping and running around like a wonderfully, happy idiot all to convince the Slave that Minerva and I are content and the best of friends. I am forced to admit that it is all rather fun. Perhaps I should've informed Minerva of my plans though because she stands around looking a bit dumbfounded by all my energetic bouncing.

P.S I am on slightly better terms with the Slave because she brought us some watermelon to try and we enjoyed that very much.

Your bouncy pupil and friend,

Gaia
 
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