Are you sitting comfortably children? Then I'll begin.
Today's tale is called 'Gaia Doesn't 'Do' Steps, Not Even A Little One'
It was a wet, dark and miserable afternoon but that was of no concern to Gaia and her friend Minerva, who were busy frolicking about the indoor Kingdom of House, something they did every day.
Today was different, however. Gaia, feeling exceptionally curious and bold, decided to step outside the borders of Kitchen and down a small step into the hitherto unknown Land of the Giant, Rumbling, White Machines. Fortunately for Gaia, these machines would only eat clothes, not Guinea Pigs. Gaia found this land to be exceptionally dull, with nothing to eat, hide in or destroy, so she quickly decided to return to Minerva and their familiar territory.
But, to Gaia's horror, she realised going home would not be so easy! There was a step! Gaia had forgotten that she had jumped down from it moments ago with no effort but now she would have to
jump back up... How on Earth would she manage that? Gaia approached the step and carefully inspected it; the step was easily half the height of the other steps she had encountered, the ones which Minerva could leap upon with ease. That she was certain of it. But, that was Minerva... Minerva was excellent at jumping. Gaia? Not so much.
"Well....I guess I'll just die here." Gaia muttered to herself, before starting to cry over the predicament she had put herself in (and was too lazy to find a way out of).
If only there were someone nearby to hear her cries! Then she may be saved!
And there was! Minerva was nearby and she could hear Gaia but, Alas! She had also found a pile of grass from the Kingdom of Outside and had decided that Gaia being missing for a while was perhaps not a bad thing...
Fortunately for Gaia, someone else heard her cries; her loyal Slave. The Slave was not entirely sympathetic to Gaia's plight, however, and stared at her incredulously for some time. Gaia approached the step once more and the Slave offered encouragement and instructed her on how to escape from her situation.
"Just jump up, you nitwit!" Said the Slave.
Gaia couldn't comprehend the Slave's words and wouldn't budge so the Slave thought of another way to encourage her; with food. The Slave disappeared and quickly returned with a large piece of carrot. Laying down on the highground above Gaia's head, the Slave wiggled and waved the carrot to get Gaia's attention, which it did. To Gaia's frustration, the Slave did not simply hand over the carrot as she usually would but instead held it just out of reach above the step. Thinking hard about how she would reach the carrot (just getting home was long forgotten about by this point), Gaia closed in on the step, placed her front paws on it and raised her head up. Stretching as far as she could, she tried repeatedly to grab the snack but the Slave kept pulling it further and further away each time, hoping Gaia would follow it by letting her bum follow the rest of her onto the step. Instead, Gaia gave up.
"I can't do it! It's not fair!" Gaia cried and scuttled away from the step.
"Come back here and jump up; the step is tiny!" Her Slave called after her.
"I'm doomed!" Wailed Gaia.
"Gaia... seriously..." The Slave rolled her eyes.
"Tell Minerva I love her..." Gaia sobbed.
"And tell Miss Bramble, it was an honour just to know her!"
"Tell Master Boris, I thought he was exceptionally handsome" Gaia continued.
"And tell young Mabel and Tibs.. to watch out as I think my Slave is planning on pignapping them."
Just as Gaia had about lost all hope, her Slave stepped down into the Land of the Giant, Rumbling, White Machines to be with her and guided her back towards the step. Somehow, Gaia understood what was to come and she placed her front paws on the step once more and braced herself. The Slave slid one hand under Gaia's bottom and paused, as though waiting for Gaia to do something, like perhaps take the hint and finally jump on top of the step.
When Gaia did nothing, the Slave slowly raised her hand with Gaia on it, until Gaia's bum was level with the bitey end of her.
Gaia then triumphantly strode back into the Land of Kitchen then on to the Land of Backroom, just in time to grab a bite of fresh grass before Minerva had chance to gobble it all.
-
Take small steps every day and one day you will get there... except Gaia, who needs to be carried everywhere.
The End.
They obviously feel like they're being punished in some way and don't understand what they've done wrong. Now even Minerva is wheeking for food; something she never does because she just relies on Gaia to put all the work in. Gaia is having tantrums; complaining nonstop and mauling the cage.
