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Dear Miss Bramble,
I know both of my slaves are on the naughty list FOREVER but I feel like I need to inform you of the outrageous treatment I have been the recipient of.
First I was locked into the place that I like to go as a private retreat, it's nice in there as it always has nice fluffy fleeces to lay on and bury myself in. This was bad enough but then my young companion Mischievous Master Boris was unceremoniously shoved in with me.
I was taken out in the cold and had to endure a car ride. Eventually I was taken out and a strange man had his hands all over me, lifted me up and listened to my tummy and then, I don't know how to phrase it nicely....he sniffed at my most private parts! He did say I had lovely teeth but still.....
Since then The Mummy Slave has been forcing some yucky stuff into my mouth twice a day! There is some yummy stuff too that makes me feel good. I'm ashamed to confess that I did use the last resort of a nip this morning but it didn't stop her. I even managed a poop of protest for the first time ever!
Yours in despair,
The not quite as Dignified as usual Sir George X
 
Dear Dignified Sir George

I read your plea for help and it is clear that you went to see The Nasty Vet Man. I was absolutely horrified to learn that The Nasty Vet Man sniffed your privates! Why? What was he hoping to achieve by that? The mind boggles!

To make matters worse you now have to endure some yukky stuff being shoved in your mouth twice a day. I'm pleased some yummy stuff is forthcoming and that it makes you feel better.

Well done on your poop of protest and the nip to your Slave. Sometimes nips are necessary so that your Slave realises how unhappy you are about the situation.

Now how to address your current predicament:

Make sure you make it difficult for her to catch you and when her hands are round your tum, run off as only as a dignified gentlepig like you can. Don't fall for the Snugglesack Express trick of being picked up either. Have a bit of fun with your Slave and pretend to go in and just at the last minute turn and go back out again. Hopefully your Slave will be so frustrated that you can't be picked up she will give in.

Your friend in a crisis

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
 
Dear Miss Bramble and Tessy,
Many thanks for your support and sympathy for my plight and subsequent behaviour.
Miss Bramble, I can only guess but I think the Nasty Vet Man was checking for a bad smell from my most private parts. He told the slaves that most of the less dignified piggies produce a sample for him when he is mauling at their bellies and underpig bits. He said he could smell infection.
I heard the slaves talking about giving me a green bean after my medicine later, I haven't yet decided if I will accept. At the moment I am running away and hiding from The Mummy Slave.
Yours with thanks,
Dignified Sir George X
 
Dear Dignified Sir George,
You have my deepest sympathy.
The last time I had to go and see the Vet Man he was quite nice but the next thing I knew was all the beautiful fur on my tummy was gone !
I did do lots of poops of protest all over the table too.
I think you were very brave trying to stay dignified when the Vet Man sniffed your privates and I hope the green bean was delivered.

Love from not at all dignified Micah
 
Dear Miss Bramble,
I didn't like nipping The Mummy Slave and don't want to do it again. I decided on a new tactic of attacking and biting the yucky syringe.
This did NOT work and made it easier for her to locate my mouth, which is difficult to see with my lovely black fur, and get the yucky stuff in! She is getting quicker with the yummy stuff though. AND I got a lovely big green bean. I sat on her chest afterwards and whinged in her ear for a while.
Yours ready for a nap,
Dignified Sir George X
 
Dear Dignified Sir George

At least you know that attacking the yukky syringe doesn't work. As I have never had to have any yukky or yummy stuff from a syringe, I didn't know this. Thanks for this bit of information.

I'm pleased that the green bean was forthcoming and also that you whinged in your Slave's ear. I'll have to remember that to advise other piggies if their Slaves aren't looking after them as they should.

Your friend

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
 
Oh my heart!
Hubby and I just sitting on the sofa when Mischievous Master Boris ambles over and licks my foot. I look down at him and say hello, he responds by standing up on his hind legs begging. Sooooo cute. I say not yet, after dinner.
Dignified Sir George must be feeling better because he pootles over and he goes into begging pose too ❤️
Guess who got pea flakes before dinner....
 
Dear Miss Bramble,
The Slaves are neglecting me. I have only had hay, pellets, forage and more hay. I have tried climbing the bars and staring at them several times and have wheeked when they go into the kitchen but no syringes have been delivered.
I and my young boisterous companion have been given a green bean each but where is the good stuff?
Yours bewildered (and possibly slightly addicted)
Dignified Sir George X
 
fluffysal said:
Dear Miss Bramble,
The Slaves are neglecting me. I have only had hay, pellets, forage and more hay. I have tried climbing the bars and staring at them several times and have wheeked when they go into the kitchen but no syringes have been delivered.
I and my young boisterous companion have been given a green bean each but where is the good stuff?
Yours bewildered (and possibly slightly addicted)
Dignified Sir George X
Click to expand...
Dear Dignified Sir George

Sometimes what I have to say is not what you want to hear. No more syringes are forthcoming because with the help of your Slaves you are now better. Unless you are ill, you don't get syringes. I hear that Metacam is yummy. Thea has had Metacam before and said that she really missed it when it was time to stop cos she got better. Lucky you in having a whole green bean, our Slave has been somewhat lacking in the green bean department, perhaps Misty and I should demand some?

Yours sorry this is not the news you want.

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
 
Dear Mischievous Master Boris

You really should try to stop your Slave from posting X rated pictures of you! You don't look very impressed that she has snapped yet another of you with your unmentionables on show. I'm really not surprised that the Committee of the GPU put her on the Naughty List Wall of Shame Forever.

Yours very annoyed at your Slave

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
 
Dear Miss Bramble,
I honestly didn't think that was an indecent pigture, it's very modest for me as I had the bulk of "them" tucked underneath me! As you are probably aware my gentlepig underbits are very difficult to hide as my gloriously shiny blond hair is quite sparse in that area and I am VERY blessed in the boarliness department.
It's not fair, my boss Dignified Sir George can pose however he wants with his covering of slight floofyness in the trousers area keeping things discreet.
Yours trying to do better,
Mischievous Master Boris
 
Betsy said:
Dear Mischievous Master Boris

You really should try to stop your Slave from posting X rated pictures of you! You don't look very impressed that she has snapped yet another of you with your unmentionables on show. I'm really not surprised that the Committee of the GPU put her on the Naughty List Wall of Shame Forever.

Yours very annoyed at your Slave

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
Click to expand...

I thought it was just a naughty list. There’s a wall of shame too !
 
Dear @weepweeps and @fluffysal

The GPU Committee met in camera and decided that the Naughty List should be on the Wall of Shame. I had nothing to do with this decision. I think it glorifies naughty Slaves when they should be punished. I feel very annoyed that I was not consulted on this matter as my predecessor The Ever Beautiful Betsy founded the GPU and she will be spinning in her grave at this decision.

Yours very angry

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
 
The boys met their potential boarder yesterday. I don't know whether to feel pleased or a little bit betrayed because Mischievous Master Boris was licking her! AND that was before pea flakes! He's only supposed to lick us so we feel special.
Seriously though, she's happy to put them in bigger than a 120 as she has c&c, we're happy that the boys seem to have approved her and we got to see her piggies. Absolutely beautiful and obviously very spoilt boar quartet.
 
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