Chat Thread.

Motorway patrol in a bygone era, it's not like that anymore! ;)
 
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I’ve just had the most bizarre evening.
I haven’t felt well all day, I’m having a procedure next week to reduce inflammation on my skull. Something I have done every so often but it’s always plays on my mind. Anyway... this time last year I was assaulted, tonight the assaulter approached me and apologised for what he had done. I soon realised the bar staff knew he was there and was watching him. I felt uncomfortable but he was sober as a judge and I knew what he was saying was very truthful. I’m gobsmacked that he actually recognised me and approach me to apologise. I’m still in shock but I don’t know how I should accept his apology. It’s brought back many unpleasant memories that I had since forgotten about, perhaps put into the back of my mind since the the incident happened? I just feel a bit numb. God, I have mixed emotions right now, actually being approached by my attacker is weird. I told him I had councilling, he went very silent. Very odd feeling. I’m now back home enjoying a cuddle from Barry :luv:
image.webp
I wouldn’t normally but he was at the bars begging for attention. Still a bit of coriander and a cuddle later, he peed on me. Cheers mateXD x
 
Tim said:
I’ve just had the most bizarre evening.
I haven’t felt well all day, I’m having a procedure next week to reduce inflammation on my skull. Something I have done every so often but it’s always plays on my mind. Anyway... this time last year I was assaulted, tonight the assaulter approached me and apologised for what he had done. I soon realised the bar staff knew he was there and was watching him. I felt uncomfortable but he was sober as a judge and I knew what he was saying was very truthful. I’m gobsmacked that he actually recognised me and approach me to apologise. I’m still in shock but I don’t know how I should accept his apology. It’s brought back many unpleasant memories that I had since forgotten about, perhaps put into the back of my mind since the the incident happened? I just feel a bit numb. God, I have mixed emotions right now, actually being approached by my attacker is weird. I told him I had councilling, he went very silent. Very odd feeling. I’m now back home enjoying a cuddle from Barry :luv:
View attachment 83501
I wouldn’t normally but he was at the bars begging for attention. Still a bit of coriander and a cuddle later, he peed on me. Cheers mateXD x
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Really sorry to hear about that.I can imagine that must’ve been a shock to get an apology.I really hope they truly regret their actions x
 
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Gem789 said:
Really sorry to hear about that.I can imagine that must’ve been a shock to get an apology.I really hope they truly regret their actions x
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By the sound of it, he does. He admits that booze sends him a bit nuts, he was watching rugby all day and was not with it at the time of the incident. He only realised the extent of the event when he woke up in his prison cell the next day. I had a phone call the next day to make a statement but I was about 25 miles away. They wouldn’t release him until I made the statement. They were like, “no rush, let him stew a bit” XD
I’ve put the whole incident to the back of my mind until now, but I think tonight has helped me, confronting my demons so to speak. I won’t sleep but I feel better. Weird feeling but life goes on. We can’t let things like this get us down, I’ve learnt to move on x

Thankyou for your reply @Gem789 it means so much xx
 
Tim said:
By the sound of it, he does. He admits that booze sends him a bit nuts, he was watching rugby all day and was not with it at the time of the incident. He only realised the extent of the event when he woke up in his prison cell the next day. I had a phone call the next day to make a statement but I was about 25 miles away. They wouldn’t release him until I made the statement. They were like, “no rush, let him stew a bit” XD
I’ve put the whole incident to the back of my mind until now, but I think tonight has helped me, confronting my demons so to speak. I won’t sleep but I feel better. Weird feeling but life goes on. We can’t let things like this get us down, I’ve learnt to move on x

Thankyou for your reply @Gem789 it means so much xx
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I’m glad his apology has helped and that it helps you to move on.I think I’ll be awake for a while, I fell asleep at 6 but my brother wakes me up at 3, drunk and asking me to play resident evil.I don’t think so lol x
 
Gem789 said:
I’m glad his apology has helped and that it helps you to move on.I think I’ll be awake for a while, I fell asleep at 6 but my brother wakes me up at 3, drunk and asking me to play resident evil.I don’t think so lol x
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Oh dear! XD Go to bed bro! :)) xx
 
Tim said:
I’ve just had the most bizarre evening.
I haven’t felt well all day, I’m having a procedure next week to reduce inflammation on my skull. Something I have done every so often but it’s always plays on my mind. Anyway... this time last year I was assaulted, tonight the assaulter approached me and apologised for what he had done. I soon realised the bar staff knew he was there and was watching him. I felt uncomfortable but he was sober as a judge and I knew what he was saying was very truthful. I’m gobsmacked that he actually recognised me and approach me to apologise. I’m still in shock but I don’t know how I should accept his apology. It’s brought back many unpleasant memories that I had since forgotten about, perhaps put into the back of my mind since the the incident happened? I just feel a bit numb. God, I have mixed emotions right now, actually being approached by my attacker is weird. I told him I had councilling, he went very silent. Very odd feeling. I’m now back home enjoying a cuddle from Barry :luv:
View attachment 83501
I wouldn’t normally but he was at the bars begging for attention. Still a bit of coriander and a cuddle later, he peed on me. Cheers mateXD x
Click to expand...
I knew you had been assaulted cos you told me @Tim didn't realised it was a year ago yesterday Hun. Hope the fact that scumbag apologised has been a bit cathartic. :hug:Have a Betsy hug cos you need one.
 
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Tim said:
I’ve just had the most bizarre evening.
I haven’t felt well all day, I’m having a procedure next week to reduce inflammation on my skull. Something I have done every so often but it’s always plays on my mind. Anyway... this time last year I was assaulted, tonight the assaulter approached me and apologised for what he had done. I soon realised the bar staff knew he was there and was watching him. I felt uncomfortable but he was sober as a judge and I knew what he was saying was very truthful. I’m gobsmacked that he actually recognised me and approach me to apologise. I’m still in shock but I don’t know how I should accept his apology. It’s brought back many unpleasant memories that I had since forgotten about, perhaps put into the back of my mind since the the incident happened? I just feel a bit numb. God, I have mixed emotions right now, actually being approached by my attacker is weird. I told him I had councilling, he went very silent. Very odd feeling. I’m now back home enjoying a cuddle from Barry :luv:
View attachment 83501
I wouldn’t normally but he was at the bars begging for attention. Still a bit of coriander and a cuddle later, he peed on me. Cheers mateXD x
Click to expand...

Just want to give you a big hug Tim :hug: .
 
Tim said:
I’ve just had the most bizarre evening.
I haven’t felt well all day, I’m having a procedure next week to reduce inflammation on my skull. Something I have done every so often but it’s always plays on my mind. Anyway... this time last year I was assaulted, tonight the assaulter approached me and apologised for what he had done. I soon realised the bar staff knew he was there and was watching him. I felt uncomfortable but he was sober as a judge and I knew what he was saying was very truthful. I’m gobsmacked that he actually recognised me and approach me to apologise. I’m still in shock but I don’t know how I should accept his apology. It’s brought back many unpleasant memories that I had since forgotten about, perhaps put into the back of my mind since the the incident happened? I just feel a bit numb. God, I have mixed emotions right now, actually being approached by my attacker is weird. I told him I had councilling, he went very silent. Very odd feeling. I’m now back home enjoying a cuddle from Barry :luv:
View attachment 83501
I wouldn’t normally but he was at the bars begging for attention. Still a bit of coriander and a cuddle later, he peed on me. Cheers mateXD x
Click to expand...

HUGS
It must have taken great courage and have come at quite a cost from the guy to do that; to face the extent of what kind of damage he has been inflicting and to take responsibility for it.

Unfortunately this act, as laudable as it is, has opened up your own wounds again and is bringing back bad memories and emotions. The problem is, forgiveness is not automatic and not guaranteed. It is going to a very slow and rather painful process of your own, if you ever can get as far as that, seeing what damage it has done to you mentally and not just physically.
Right now, you are of course caught right in the middle of some very conflicting emotions because in some ways it is making things worse for you, and not better; it has thrown you a real dilemma about something that you had started to slowly get over - emotionally and morally. It would throw a real kerb ball to anybody, especially as it is not just a pro forma apology.

I sincerely hope that the knowledge that the guy who has done this to you is oviously serious and sincere about his apology and what he has done to you can in the longer term help you to heal more comprehensively and to lay your ghosts to rest in a better way. But first you need to catch your dancing ghosts again... :(
 
Tim said:
By the sound of it, he does. He admits that booze sends him a bit nuts, he was watching rugby all day and was not with it at the time of the incident. He only realised the extent of the event when he woke up in his prison cell the next day. I had a phone call the next day to make a statement but I was about 25 miles away. They wouldn’t release him until I made the statement. They were like, “no rush, let him stew a bit” XD
I’ve put the whole incident to the back of my mind until now, but I think tonight has helped me, confronting my demons so to speak. I won’t sleep but I feel better. Weird feeling but life goes on. We can’t let things like this get us down, I’ve learnt to move on x

Thankyou for your reply @Gem789 it means so much xx
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Oh Tim, what a dreadful experience you had last year.
It’s good that the perpetrator has apologised and I hope it was from the heart. Maybe he’s going for counselling too and that’s why he has got up the courage to come over and apologise. Xx
 
I’ve just caught up with this thread. Sounds like you’ve dealt with this situation really well @Tim. Credit to you for chatting to this person even though by doing so, it’s made some bad memories come flooding back.
I hope you can heal once more.
Unfortunately its sad that some people can react badly towards others when they’ve had too much drink.
I hope this guy got barred/on pub watch.
It’s great that this guy has apologised and I hope he is truely sorry for his actions. I would still be wary if he’s out drinking though.
Hugs xx
 
Tim said:
I’ve just had the most bizarre evening.
I haven’t felt well all day, I’m having a procedure next week to reduce inflammation on my skull. Something I have done every so often but it’s always plays on my mind. Anyway... this time last year I was assaulted, tonight the assaulter approached me and apologised for what he had done. I soon realised the bar staff knew he was there and was watching him. I felt uncomfortable but he was sober as a judge and I knew what he was saying was very truthful. I’m gobsmacked that he actually recognised me and approach me to apologise. I’m still in shock but I don’t know how I should accept his apology. It’s brought back many unpleasant memories that I had since forgotten about, perhaps put into the back of my mind since the the incident happened? I just feel a bit numb. God, I have mixed emotions right now, actually being approached by my attacker is weird. I told him I had councilling, he went very silent. Very odd feeling. I’m now back home enjoying a cuddle from Barry :luv:
View attachment 83501
I wouldn’t normally but he was at the bars begging for attention. Still a bit of coriander and a cuddle later, he peed on me. Cheers mateXD x
Click to expand...

Tim, I am shocked and so sorry to hear you were attacked, how awful :( Must have been scary and very strange that the attacker approached you and then apologised. Was that the first time you had seen him since the attack?

I hope the surgery goes smoothly and you recover very quickly. My Daughter is waiting for her scan on 19th April so we will see what that brings.

lots of good thoughts coming your way :hug:

Kate xx
 
Thanks for sharing this.
It took courage from you to allow the man to apologise.
Although it’s put you on a rollercoaster of emotions the fact that he meant his apology will help you.
People seem to think forgiveness is as easy as just saying sorry and then everything is fine.
It’s not that easy.

Allow yourself time to work through all the emotions and be gentle with yourself.
Hope the procedure goes well.
 
Thanks again for all your kind words, love you all! :luv: I won’t let it bother me, at least I’ll try not to. I had councilling last year for a lot of events that happened all with weeks of each other, this attack was the cherry on the cake! They offered more support but I declined their offer as I felt I need to pull through by myself and I already had a lot of support.

Thanks @*kate* Fingers crossed for your daughter xx
 
Tim said:
Thanks again for all your kind words, love you all! :luv: I won’t let it bother me, at least I’ll try not to. I had councilling last year for a lot of events that happened all with weeks of each other, this attack was the cherry on the cake! They offered more support but I declined their offer as I felt I need to pull through by myself and I already had a lot of support.

Thanks @*kate* Fingers crossed for your daughter xx
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Take care of yourself; don't shove your emotions down and let them run their course.
 
Tim said:
Better out than in, right? :)
:hug:
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Exactly - you will find that you are going to settle down more easily if you can let it out and talk about it. There will always be the hurt and a certain instinctive reaction, but you can hopefully walk that bit more easily afterwards.

You are a very kind and generous man; a lot of your conflict comes from being uncomfortable about being face to face with your assaulter, with having it all brought up again but also with having to deal with him trying to do the decent thing while you could most happily fling the muck right back into his face. Nobody has ever said that being a civilised guy was easy...

Accept it all - your own anger, your confusion and your right to not having to forgive unless you want to and are ready for it. Just let it run its due course, like a relapse of flu.
 
Wiebke said:
Exactly - you will find that you are going to settle down more easily if you can let it out and talk about it. There will always be the hurt and a certain instinctive reaction, but you can hopefully walk that bit more easily afterwards.

You are a very kind and generous man; a lot of your conflict comes from being uncomfortable about being face to face with your assaulter, with having it all brought up again but also with having to deal with him trying to do the decent thing while you could most happily fling the muck right back into his face. Nobody has ever said that being a civilised guy was easy...

Accept it all - your own anger, your confusion and your right to not having to forgive unless you want to and are ready for it. Just let it run its due course, like a relapse of flu.
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Thankyou Wiebke, you are amazing! :luv::hug:xx
 
I've come to the forum late today so I've only just caught up. Lots of wise words from everyone to which I can't add. Just keep on being the lovely kind man you are. I hope your operation goes really well for you. Sending you massive hugs. X
 
piggieminder said:
I've come to the forum late today so I've only just caught up. Lots of wise words from everyone to which I can't add. Just keep on being the lovely kind man you are. I hope your operation goes really well for you. Sending you massive hugs. X
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Thanks hun :hug: It’s not much of an op, I’m having fluid drained which builds up every so often. It’s quite close to the spine so requires a steady hand :)) I’ll be in and out in a couple of hours hopefully :)
 
@Tim it might not be much of an op, (sounds pretty major to me) but I know how these things play on the mind.
Look after yourself and those lovely piggies of yours. :hug:
 
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Tim said:
By the sound of it, he does. He admits that booze sends him a bit nuts, he was watching rugby all day and was not with it at the time of the incident. He only realised the extent of the event when he woke up in his prison cell the next day. I had a phone call the next day to make a statement but I was about 25 miles away. They wouldn’t release him until I made the statement. They were like, “no rush, let him stew a bit” XD
I’ve put the whole incident to the back of my mind until now, but I think tonight has helped me, confronting my demons so to speak. I won’t sleep but I feel better. Weird feeling but life goes on. We can’t let things like this get us down, I’ve learnt to move on x

Thankyou for your reply @Gem789 it means so much xx
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Poor you I hope in the next few weeks you can start to move on from being approached by him. Guinea pigs always make everything better :hug:hope you’re ok x
 
Tim said:
Thanks hun :hug: It’s not much of an op, I’m having fluid drained which builds up every so often. It’s quite close to the spine so requires a steady hand :)) I’ll be in and out in a couple of hours hopefully :)
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piggieminder said:
@Tim it might not be much of an op, (sounds pretty major to me) but I know how these things play on the mind.
Look after yourself and those lovely piggies of yours. :hug:
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I'm with @piggieminder it sounds a pretty major op to me. Wishing you luck Hun :hug:
 
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