Been putting off making this post but here goes.
I think it’s unfortunately time I had the dreaded QOL talk with Molly on Monday.
It’s been over a month now of daily syringe feeding and over 3 months of prolonged illness and their lives are 80% of the time having things shoved down their throat, which unfortunately don’t seem to be working anymore. We really have tried absolutely everything, it’s been Baytril, Sulfatrim, Zithromax, Marbocyl, Ronaxan, Bizolvon, Emeprid, Ventipulman Syrup, f10 Nebulising, Fibreplex, Poop Soup, Low Calcium diet and a Diuretic for Bea. They are all currently on 4 or 5 meds.
I know deep in my heart that if I stopped syringe feeding they probably wouldn’t last more than a week as they are just picking at hay having little to no appetite. But just watching them look absolutely exhausted after all their treatment and still not seen any better, it really doesn’t seem like much of a life to me. And now both Meep and Mouse are doing either squeaky wees or their weed looking bright cherryaid red it’s sort of confirmed for me, though I will be double checking with Molly of course, that their immunity is shot and they are just these little vessels so very vulnerable to infection and it just seems cruel to pump them with more antibiotics as they are struggling to do anything and it’s just wrecking their insides.
The very thought of it makes me want to just disappear, you all know how hard I’ve worked and how hard they’ve fought, and part of me feels like I’m just throwing in the towel, but after reading Wiebke’s quality of life thread, it’s become apparent to me that proceeding with anymore medicines or treatment would be benefitting me, wanting to keep them around as long as possible, prolonging their inevitable suffering.
I just feel sick and so tired and let down as despite all my efforts, dedicating all my time from 7am - 12am with three 2 hour breaks, is just so heartbreaking. I just feel like this isn’t supposed to happen, after all the threads I’ve read, all three piggies all so ill, it just doesn’t seem fair and that life really has dealt me a very naff hand at the moment. Meep is only 2 and a 1/2 and that just makes me feel like the worst owner in the world that I may not have been able to provide her the full beautiful life that she deserves.
As they are all remaining alive being syringe fed, they are still pretty active which just makes me so conflicted, but I know inside they are suffering and again, wouldn’t last long if I stopped syringe feeding. But seeing Merab’s Slave’s lovely Ruth and all her other piggies in their set up, it reminded me of a healthy piggie’s demeanour and spritelyness and that’s just not mine at the moment. It’s heartbreaking to admit, but I’d forgotten what a healthy piggy looks like.
I am lucky to be in a position where I have vet insurance and lots of savings saved up from my part time work, but even though I can keep pushing and keep going, even not being able to leave the house for more that 2 hrs at a time, it it beginning to seem cruel. Bea is sitting their taking the most enormous labouring breaths and she won’t even lie on her side anymore while sleeping and just stays in the exact same spot all day unless she’s getting water. I just wanted to get everyone’s opinions and also most importantly, even though I appreciate it may be a touchy subject, ask if any one have has heard of/experienced instances of multiple piggies becoming ill and going to the rainbow bridge all at once?
Thank you all again for all your kindness and advice, I hope it doesn’t seem at all like I’m giving up on my absolutely beloved angels, because I would never EVER do that unless completely necessary.
