Moses and Miriam

We are not happy today.
We have been relegated to our basket all day because the slave says we shouldn’t be in our room while work is being done.
We do not think this is good enough.
We think the workmen should drill quietly and not make any dust at all.
Our slave says we will appreciate the new air conditioning unit in our room - it will be warmer on cold days and cooler when it’s hot.
We still don’t think this a good enough excuse for us to be stuck in our basket all day..

IMG_1853.webp This is us squashed into our tiny basket 😁
 
Dear Moses and Miriam

What does your Slave think she is doing? Making you both squeeze into a tiny basket that is only just longer than you are all day with only a bit of hay and 2 VERY small pieces of lettuce as compensation. This will just not do! You may appreciate it later but you don't approve of your meagre accommodation NOW! You're not worried about later! Doesn't your Slave realise that Guinea Pigs live for today? The day you're having is not a very nice day.

You need to ensure that your Slave doesn't plonk you in your tiny piggy prision and leave you all day again (it's alright for cage cleans cos you know it's not gonna be for long). My suggestions are as follows:-

  • Deposit lots of stinky poops for your Slave to find in your place of confinement. Your Slave's nose will be so offended at this that she won't put you in there all day again. Is she thinks it's bad, she'll know it's even worse for you.
  • Refuse to co-operate when it's cuddle time and don't let her pick you up. If you don't have cuddle time then run away from her and play catch me if you can when it's the dreaded weigh and check day.
  • Don't take your morning lettuce from her hand.
  • Hide when she is in your room and ignore any coaxing that she does to try and get you out in the open. One of her favourites is "who's the most beautiful/handsome guinea pigs in the world?" You know you are the most beautiful/handsome guinea pigs in the world anyway so that isn't gonna work!
I hope you are soon released from your jail cell of a basket.

Your friend in a crisis

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
 
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Dear Miss Bramble,
Thank you for being such an on the ball GPU rep.
We are now back in our nice clean cage, but the slave has put in a tunnel we don’t like very much.
We did leave lots of poops in the teeny, tiny basket but we will try to make them stinkier now.
We never cooperate for cuddles, weighing of health checks.
Even if we don’t mind being petted on Slave’s lap now we won’t let her know that.
We are practising running away when she tries to catch us and will work on improving our Your advice is always helpful and appreciated.
Love from Miriam and lots of rumbles from Moses
 
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