Drama Queens.

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there you have we dont mind the younger ones especially moaning , why not ? us older ones are full of lifes experiences and its a great way to help the younger ones get through a difficult time in their lives. teens I'd hate to go through it again, and these days its a lot harder then in the 70s when I was a teen, I've seen my kids stress over what I think are silly things but to them its a major problem so anyone who needs tor rant and rave go ahead, most of us here dont mind at all ;)
 
bev said:
Ok so you could punch walls, or pillows or something, or anything really. So what makes a person self harm instead of doing an alternative? I have been told "I like the pain" and I struggle to understand that. So yeah I guess my next question is why self harm when you could find an alternative?
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I'm afraid you'll have to ask someone whose self harming is more intentional. o_O; I can't tell you, because I don't know. My form of self harm is more irrational and incontrollable.
 
bev said:
Ok so you could punch walls, or pillows or something, or anything really. So what makes a person self harm instead of doing an alternative? I have been told "I like the pain" and I struggle to understand that. So yeah I guess my next question is why self harm when you could find an alternative?
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Real self harming is uncontrollable and a way of punishing one's self. Its a physical thing but a mental state. Reasons for punishment may not seem justified to the outside world but to the individual they are and are very necessary, like an outlet. Its emotional too and can have loads of 'stuff and issues' behind it. Its much deeper than one incident and and a reaction, its a way of life- In my experience anyway. I'm sure there are different forms and reasons, but not something to take/look at lightly.
 
Self harm is as indivdual as different personalities in humans.
Usually starts in young teenage years, its very deep and emotional and sometimes can re occur in adulthood if counselling or help was not sorted.

A self harmer will go to great depths to hide it and not seek medical help at A&E depts because of the stigma attached.

They do not do it for attention seeking or sympthay but a way of coping within their lives, it is not controlled or "oh today I will cut myself" it is so emotional and deep rooted.

There are lots of internet sites about this some good some not good.

I have helped many a young person in my own sons school and have met a few adults that have become friends.

There is more help available now a days and mental health teams are brilliant, over worked and the services have been cut so it means very long waiting lists and hard to get on a help program.
 
bev said:
I'd actuallly like to know more about self harm if people don't actually mind talking about it.

If you do mind, feel free to tell me to sod off :)
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Darky said:
I'm afraid you'll have to ask someone whose self harming is more intentional. o_O; I can't tell you, because I don't know. My form of self harm is more irrational and incontrollable.
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OK, mine is intentional. To hurt myself and cause pain, also once started, can't seem to stop. Haven't done it for many months now though.

Just lots of things go on, and I don't really know why.. I guess it's a bit of relief really.

I haven't used needles, only knives.

I'm going to have another 2 tattoos in the summer - think it's more the pain side.
 
I could never cut my self or anything like that... sometimes i hate my life but then i think of my mum and how much it would hurt her if i hurt myself :(
 
michellemuffin said:
there you have we dont mind the younger ones especially moaning , why not ? us older ones are full of lifes experiences and its a great way to help the younger ones get through a difficult time in their lives. teens I'd hate to go through it again, and these days its a lot harder then in the 70s when I was a teen, I've seen my kids stress over what I think are silly things but to them its a major problem so anyone who needs tor rant and rave go ahead, most of us here dont mind at all ;)
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I agree I think life is much more difficlut for kids today there is more to live up to, life when I was a kid seemed so much simpler than it is for todays kids and I think they need a 'vent' more than we did back then. I'd hate to be a kid at school now!
 
kellyandpiggies said:
bev said:
I'd actuallly like to know more about self harm if people don't actually mind talking about it.

If you do mind, feel free to tell me to sod off :)
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Darky said:
I'm afraid you'll have to ask someone whose self harming is more intentional. o_O; I can't tell you, because I don't know. My form of self harm is more irrational and incontrollable.
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OK, mine is intentional. To hurt myself and cause pain, also once started, can't seem to stop. Haven't done it for many months now though.

Just lots of things go on, and I don't really know why.. I guess it's a bit of relief really.

I haven't used needles, only knives.

I'm going to have another 2 tattoos in the summer - think it's more the pain side.
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I understand kind of Kellyandpiggies, When my back is vey bad and i mean bad, i cut myself, i don't understand why because after the intional cut and the relife it brings from having pain other than my back, it hurts :'( and i fell silly for sharing this) But it at the end of the day is something very personal that only the person doing it can reason with.!
 
piggybaker said:
I understand kind of Kellyandpiggies, When my back is vey bad and i mean bad, i cut myself, i don't understand why because after the intional cut and the relife it brings from having pain other than my back, it hurts :'( and i fell silly for sharing this) But it at the end of the day is something very personal that only the person doing it can reason with.!
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Yeah, I know. It's hard for people to undestand the main reason we do these things. Not that I mind talking about it, but it's more explaining it. I guess the real reason is unknown :)
 
i like the fact that we can all let of steam and have a moan. sometimes i post when things have gone wrong with my lad and writting it out helps me to calm down and get it out of my system and knowing there are people out there that understands helps.

if i don't want to read something then i don't.

as for the young posting and moaning, well i think it's great that young people feel that they can mix with all the different ages on here. young or old it isn't always easy to talk problems out with those that are close to you, so this forum is an outlet for people from different walks of life and with all different life experiences and if we can help each other then great.

if my lad had a problem i would rather he talked to someone than let it eat away at him.

i know in life we shouldn't care about what others say but when your low one silly comment can really affect you and that's when you need people to turn to.

I'm always willing to listen to people, yes you have to help yourself in this life but we all need support at some time.

self harming is a hard one, it's a release of emotions and affects everyone in different ways, it isn't about attention in most cases.
hurting yourself sometimes stops you from hurting others in what ever way(e.g verbal, physical)

i have time for most people, don't like users or people taking me for an idiot. i try not to judge people straight of and do believe in second chances.

life is hard and god are there some nasty people out there and that's why i think it's nice to give time and understanding when possible.

it's nice to have a shoulder to cry on and someone to make you smile and someone who stops you from feeling alone in this world.

we may not all know each other on this forum but we share allot and that's friendship and very precious.

sorry if none of this makes sense, wish i could put feelings into words.
 
sometimes its a hell of a lot easier to put on here or talk to someone here whats wrong,things we cant say to family etc
 
i agree sehnsucht... i love coming one here and talking about my pigs becaue you guys listen and none of my famly/friends do :( also if i ever need a bit o a winge i can come on here,where people can choose to ignore it rather than me yelling and slamming doors ::)
 
Again on the matter of self harm - sometimes it is done for attention. That doesn't make it less justified, but sometimes people feel trapped and alone, and they do things to themselves in hope that someone will find out and it will give them the attention that they need. This doesn't make it 'shallow' or silly, nor does it mean that every self harmer does it for that purpose.

I have rather unpleasant mood swings which are brought on by delusion and paranoia, usually. This tends to result in me becoming very frustrated and almost 'lost' feeling, and I tend to hurt myself out of sheer irritation. The only people that know about it are people online, and my partner. To the outside world I am a very happy, normal and carefree individual - even Doctors and counsellors have said so. It's instinct for me to make sure that no-one is troubled by my issues, so no-one is aware of the fact that I suffer with a lot of mental issues which are slowly getting worse.

Such is life, I guess.
 
I've just read this thread - Abnoba I think thats a bit harsh. Maybe people talk on this forum coz they have no one else to talk to? Maybe you are lucky in that you have other friends or family to talk to? Most of the "whinges" are in the Chit Chat section so if you just want to look at piggie stuff then don't read this section.

I notice that Squeekypigs has stopped posting too - maybe we need to be a bit more understanding to younger members. Maybe they feel that the forum is the one place where they can get an adult point of view without feeling awkward..
 
katiep said:
I've just read this thread - Abnoba I think thats a bit harsh. Maybe people talk on this forum coz they have no one else to talk to? Maybe you are lucky in that you have other friends or family to talk to? Most of the "whinges" are in the Chit Chat section so if you just want to look at piggie stuff then don't read this section.

I notice that Squeekypigs has stopped posting too - maybe we need to be a bit more understanding to younger members. Maybe they feel that the forum is the one place where they can get an adult point of view without feeling awkward..
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I agree, have also noticed Squeeky-Pig hasn't been around for a while. At least these younger members care enough about the welfare of their pets and gaining knowledge to even bother seeking out a pet forum and ask or get advice,which personally I think is a good thing. If a thread/post isn't my cup of tea, I just tend to skip over or avoid it.
 
Darky said:
Again on the matter of self harm - sometimes it is done for attention. That doesn't make it less justified, but sometimes people feel trapped and alone, and they do things to themselves in hope that someone will find out and it will give them the attention that they need. This doesn't make it 'shallow' or silly, nor does it mean that every self harmer does it for that purpose.

I have rather unpleasant mood swings which are brought on by delusion and paranoia, usually. This tends to result in me becoming very frustrated and almost 'lost' feeling, and I tend to hurt myself out of sheer irritation. The only people that know about it are people online, and my partner. To the outside world I am a very happy, normal and carefree individual - even Doctors and counsellors have said so. It's instinct for me to make sure that no-one is troubled by my issues, so no-one is aware of the fact that I suffer with a lot of mental issues which are slowly getting worse.

Such is life, I guess.
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Nathan, don't ever feel you can't talk to us.
 
Boureki said:
If a thread/post isn't my cup of tea, I just tend to skip over or avoid it.
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exactly. no one says you have to read every post!

i have many issues myself and have tried talking to people, even went to a counciller but i gained nothing from it, my problem is I'm a loner, 1 friend and somehow a girlfriend, i hate the majority of people in general and dont trust anyone, but as i said, i get on with it. gets me down sometimes as a 20 year old should be out and about in work and not afraid to be around people!

but you learn to get on with it as i have! as said though, everyone finds a place where they can talk to someone and let out their feelings, and if its chosen to be done here i think people should respect that and help out if they feel they can, and if not then just ignore the post, wont cause any harm!
 
my friend used to cut her wrists because she wanted to everyone says she was attention seeking, but no one found out why she was doing it accept she was depressed, they just took the mick out of her, which made her more depressed and do it more.
We all (some of us) supported her alot, and shes stopped doing it, now shes is one of my best mates!
 
DanzavaR said:
Boureki said:
If a thread/post isn't my cup of tea, I just tend to skip over or avoid it.
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exactly. no one says you have to read every post!

i have many issues myself and have tried talking to people, even went to a counciller but i gained nothing from it, my problem is I'm a loner, 1 friend and somehow a girlfriend, i hate the majority of people in general and dont trust anyone, but as i said, i get on with it. gets me down sometimes as a 20 year old should be out and about in work and not afraid to be around people!

but you learn to get on with it as i have! as said though, everyone finds a place where they can talk to someone and let out their feelings, and if its chosen to be done here i think people should respect that and help out if they feel they can, and if not then just ignore the post, wont cause any harm!
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Why do you hate most people? Not having a go, just wondering...
 
Natnat x said:
my friend used to cut her wrists because she wanted to everyone says she was attention seeking, but no one found out why she was doing it accept she was depressed, they just took the mick out of her, which made her more depressed and do it more.
We all (some of us) supported her alot, and shes stopped doing it, now shes is one of my best mates!
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Natnat x said:
my friend used to cut her wrists because she wanted to everyone says she was attention seeking, but no one found out why she was doing it accept she was depressed, they just took the mick out of her, which made her more depressed and do it more.
We all (some of us) supported her alot, and shes stopped doing it, now shes is one of my best mates!
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I think attention 'seeking' is a bad way to put it, perhaps 'attention needing' is better in some cases. We all need attention but our ways of 'attention finding' might be different? Or is that total gobledigook ;D

Glad you made your friend happy Nat :) Being a teenager is one emotional rollercoaster and sometimes you don't get off when you reach 20 :-\
 
ouch thats a long rollercoster, reading through some of the first replied posts, it seems teenagers are getting the blame for being the drama queens, and I'm the only teenager who really moans on here, so i guess I'm well, a drama queen. Ill have you no its not just teens moaning!
 
hey, don't you worry about it! I for one like reading your posts, reminds me of when I was younger (oh so many years ago! :D)
You don't get off the rollercoaster when you hit 30 either, it just gets a bit less scary!
 
katiep said:
Why do you hate most people? Not having a go, just wondering...
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just to say..all my school life i got bullied, my mums ex partner who she was with for 10 years bullied me and put me down alot...so as a 20 year old who was bullied for 17 years of his life by many people it got put into my head that i AM a loser and i find it very hard to mix with people, for some reason i always seem to get bullied, no idea why :S I'm not a nasty person and I'm rather loving and caring but i seem to struggle mixing with people, over the internet is a different matter but as for real life i just have a really bad negative view on people! my first thoughts are usually bad. i try to keep to myself! i dont have many friends because so many have turned thir backs against me i just dont see it worth my while any more. I have one friend who i rarely see and my other only friend is my girlfriend. Sometimes i do get depressed but its a life ive been forced into by so many horrible people. i know all people are not like that and many people are amazing and great and wouldnt harm a fly, but i just cant get out of my frame of mind, i dont trust people and find them frustrating! Its not nice to go through especially when you have no-one to turn to for certain things but as i said, you learn to live with it and get on with life. I'm quite contempt with myself in my own world and hopes but no of it will ever be true or will save me from this life. I just try my best and love and care as much as i can for the people i love and as for the overs i dont bother! its best i put all my energy on those that will be there for me and leave everyone else away.

but i am a happy chappy and such so dont get me marked as some weirdo :D i can come across as nasty sometimes and find i do get offended easily but if i do i never mean any harm, i dont like to hurt people anyway!

but ive gone on alot and am completely changing the whole issue of the topic lol.
 
DanzavaR said:
katiep said:
Why do you hate most people? Not having a go, just wondering...
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just to say..all my school life i got bullied, my mums ex partner who she was with for 10 years bullied me and put me down alot...so as a 20 year old who was bullied for 17 years of his life by many people it got put into my head that i AM a loser and i find it very hard to mix with people, for some reason i always seem to get bullied, no idea why :S I'm not a nasty person and I'm rather loving and caring but i seem to struggle mixing with people, over the internet is a different matter but as for real life i just have a really bad negative view on people! my first thoughts are usually bad. i try to keep to myself! i dont have many friends because so many have turned thir backs against me i just dont see it worth my while any more. I have one friend who i rarely see and my other only friend is my girlfriend. Sometimes i do get depressed but its a life ive been forced into by so many horrible people. i know all people are not like that and many people are amazing and great and wouldnt harm a fly, but i just cant get out of my frame of mind, i dont trust people and find them frustrating! Its not nice to go through especially when you have no-one to turn to for certain things but as i said, you learn to live with it and get on with life. I'm quite contempt with myself in my own world and hopes but no of it will ever be true or will save me from this life. I just try my best and love and care as much as i can for the people i love and as for the overs i dont bother! its best i put all my energy on those that will be there for me and leave everyone else away.

but i am a happy chappy and such so dont get me marked as some weirdo :D i can come across as nasty sometimes and find i do get offended easily but if i do i never mean any harm, i dont like to hurt people anyway!

but ive gone on alot and am completely changing the whole issue of the topic lol.
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Sounds like you've met a lot of nasty folk. But you can't let them hold you back or stop you from living life to the full - we only get one shot at it and if you let those bullies make you miserable then they have won. Its the hardest thing in the world to shrug it off but its worth a go... do it for you?
 
katiep said:
Sounds like you've met a lot of nasty folk. But you can't let them hold you back or stop you from living life to the full - we only get one shot at it and if you let those bullies make you miserable then they have won. Its the hardest thing in the world to shrug it off but its worth a go... do it for you?
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Tried it many times, i just cant mix with people and I'm terrified of crowds of them aswel. its weird, I'm ok if I'm with my girlfriend but i hate it alone but i cant rely on her forever, its unfair!

I did go to college for 3 years and then started an illustration course but i had to drop out because of what my mums ex did to her! so i lost out on something i had worked so hard to gain, funny how things like that happen, takes 3 years to get to where you want and someone can take it away from you instantly. Seems the only way i feel better is through my anger channeled at him or other people, although i would never say it to their faces, except for my mums ex, i do do alot of moaning and complaining because i have no-one to talk to and in the end everyone gets fed up of me. My escape is to be on my own and go into my own world, i play alot of computer games at times as an escape and i talk to my guinea pigs as if they were humans, bet they get bored of me sometimes aswel lol!

but such is life.
 
I bet your piggies don't get bored of you!

How is your mum now?

Your illustration course sounds really interesting - maybe you could take it up again later? Must be lovely to have a talent like that - i can't draw to save my life!
Maybe someone took it away from you but you can get it back..
 
I too find it hard to trust people and find I enjoy animals company more then people but coming on this forum has changed my views I am a loner in the way I much prefer my own or animals company, been bullied by a now deceased mother in law for years and that made me feel differently about people also had so called friends and one of my brothers tried to ruin my life and family so am not too keen to trust easily, but on here everyone is so friendly not one of those forums that dictates and rules with fear and threats been there done that, but you are all so nice and I am glad every day I log on to see my friends words and hope we can all help each other out and I for one will do anything to cheer anyone up even if its just a chat, :) so you younger ones you moan all you want I'm just glad I'm no longer a teen and feel for my kids as well,
DanzavaR you really should get to see this man is ruining your life Still is he worth that why give him any time in your thoughts hes not worth it, you are much better then he is so dont let him ruin your life a minute longer, I moved away from my tormentor and shes now dead but still I get evil thoughts but then think hey bog off outta my thoughts you are not worth the time, :tickedoff: I hope you get stronger in your thoughts and dont give up on your dreams why let him ruin the rest of your life, get back on your course in spite of him, and your piggys dont get bored with you thats why we love them so much, its called unconditional love,
 
Natnat x said:
ouch thats a long rollercoster, reading through some of the first replied posts, it seems teenagers are getting the blame for being the drama queens, and I'm the only teenager who really moans on here, so i guess I'm well, a drama queen. Ill have you no its not just teens moaning!
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Its a long ride but you adapt to it as time goes on :) I don't read Chit Chat very often (much less post) so don't know who moans (don't care really as long as it helps them).
 
my mum is great now! thanks for asking, she went through major depression which is why i left my course, thought i would lose her!

it really dragged me down though! id love to go back and give it another shot but student loans are nasty! i owe them £4000 and really cant afford to go back yet!

yeah my guinea pigs are great at listning to me aswel, never complain and always like a good cuddle up and such lol! As it stands now though i really really dislike being bulklied and seeing it! if i do see it i will try to break it up and if it happens to me or anyone i know i dont take it anymore! i cant stand people pushing others around because they just dont seem to understand how much it can scar a person, what right do they have to do that to someone? I do lose my temper at some people for it and really make my point to them!

I'm glad so many people are so understanding here! its odd to see that, especially on a board about guinea pigs :D your a great bunch y'know and i feel i can express myself here in many ways! but i dont rant alot and do keep most things to myself so this was all just a one off :P

does feel good though to get it off my chest at times! thanks
 
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