My late father also had a problem with his neck vertebrae in his 60s. It might have been a similar thing to your dad
@RedLoredAmazon . He'd had an accident about 20 years previously and we think there was some lasting damage. Turns out the bones were fused and pressing on the spinal cord. Consultant said there was an op to cut sections out of the bone to relieve the pressure and put in pins or plates or something to protect the cord. Sorted. He wouldn't get better (i.e. regain the slight loss of sensation in his feet which had led to the occasional fall) but he wouldn't get any worse. Without it the prognosis was clear: increasing paralysis, walking with sticks, then a chair, then eventually bedbound, then - if he lived that long - organ failure because the spinal nerves are required for the function of the organs. He asked about the failure rate - less than 1% (and mainly because of post-op infection rather than surgical issues). So did he have it? Did he heck.
I don't think even he knew why not but I honestly think part of it was that he couldn't imagine the future. He was also a terrible 'passenger' - he always had to be the one in the driving seat, so to actively choose to do something where he put himself in someone else's hands was not in his nature. Mum was fuming because obviously this meant life would get very restricted and she would end up being his carer, and indeed this is what happened. The Doc was dead right. Years later dad was in hospital on the general ward with a lung infection and the junior consultant suddenly turns up - except now he's the guy in charge. He offered the op again despite the fact that dad was now pretty advanced and, probably because he was in the building anyway and they'd already took his ciggies off him, he said yes (!) It was very straightforward and, as predicted, he got no worse but there was no improvement.
Would I have had the op? Like a shot - for me it was an absolute no-brainer and I told him that quite clearly. I would have trusted the expert sat in front of me when I heard what the future held. It's the NHS - they're not touting for business, they'd quite like it if people stopped getting things wrong with them. But at the same time it's everyone's right to make their own choice and I can respect that. The impact on mum's life was profound though.
I don't know if you have a partner or dependents like children or elderly parents that you might need to figure into your equation - for short term caring and convalescence, as well as any longer term implications. It's also very difficult to take the emotion out of decisions like this. Fear is a big one: fear of surgery, of complications, of actually just making an active choice to change the status quo. Mainly the fear of somehow ending up worse than when you started out... and anxiety warps everything. It might be wise to make a list of your questions and take a trusted companion when you talk about your options so you have an objective ear to help remember what to ask and what they reply. In dad's case he kept talking about the failure rate of about 1% and not seeing that there was
100% certainty of him getting seriously worse by doing nothing. Maybe your main hurdle will be if they tell you that what you're like now is as bad as it'll get - because you know you can already live with that so it makes any step forward seem more of a gamble. Will it get worse? Ask about success rates and also whether there are people who go through the op and perhaps see no improvement but no deterioration either. Does this happen? What would be the main complications and how often do they occur... and how can you minimise this. Also do you fall into any higher-risk category because sometimes it's people who are, say, much older or especially obese or who've had previous trauma that have the dreaded poor outcome. If you delay by 5 years or 10 years will it still be on the table with the same outcome? It might take you a while to process everything and you'll swing one way and the other before the pendulum settles. But one big one is
ask your consultant what most other people decide to do in your position because dad's consultant really could not believe it when he refused the op... people normally jumped at the chance. Mum even knew a local guy who'd had it - she saw him a month later bouncing out the supermarket carrying heavy shopping bags. If the vast majority of people your specialist sees who have conditions similar to you decide to go for it that tells you something.
Good luck with your decision x
. I told him I needed to think it over so I will see him again in a months time. Big decision. I’m so confused.
