A place to rant about things that wind you up ( keep it clean lol)

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Claire W said:
Basically me and my husband sadly can’t have children. We found in in 2012 so I should be at peace with it by now but I’m really not :( Our friends who we have staying with us over new year announced last night that she is 6 weeks pregnant (they felt they needed to explain the lack of drinking and sickness) Don’t get me wrong, I am pleased for them but it’s always a kick in the teeth and hits a raw nerve. They’re also our last couple of friends to have a baby.

I therefore have to put on a brave face as I should be used to it by now. I feel so selfish and like such a horrible person for feeling this way :(
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You aren’t a horrible person, that’s absolutely awful for you and I’m so sorry :( you’re only human and a wonderful one at that, lots of love and hugs x
 
Claire W said:
Basically me and my husband sadly can’t have children. We found in in 2012 so I should be at peace with it by now but I’m really not :( Our friends who we have staying with us over new year announced last night that she is 6 weeks pregnant (they felt they needed to explain the lack of drinking and sickness) Don’t get me wrong, I am pleased for them but it’s always a kick in the teeth and hits a raw nerve. They’re also our last couple of friends to have a baby.

I therefore have to put on a brave face as I should be used to it by now. I feel so selfish and like such a horrible person for feeling this way :(
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Oh Claire, my heart breaks for you, too. You are not selfish. You are not a horrible person. Many, many people will fully empathise with your feelings. They are entirely natural and understandable. It’s a true grief and not something that you should “get over” or get “used to”. I know these feelings only too well as do many people. It’s always hard celebrating someone else’s good news and delight when it reopens an old wound for you and reminds you of a life you grieve for. Sending you gentle hugs xx
 
Claire W said:
Basically me and my husband sadly can’t have children. We found in in 2012 so I should be at peace with it by now but I’m really not :( Our friends who we have staying with us over new year announced last night that she is 6 weeks pregnant (they felt they needed to explain the lack of drinking and sickness) Don’t get me wrong, I am pleased for them but it’s always a kick in the teeth and hits a raw nerve. They’re also our last couple of friends to have a baby.

I therefore have to put on a brave face as I should be used to it by now. I feel so selfish and like such a horrible person for feeling this way :(
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I'm so sorry Claire, I can't pretend to know how you feel. I have a small insight in to it as we had a miscarriage before we had Jessica. I know it's not the same but I remember the heartbreak and I also remember the turmoil inside when finding someone else was pregnant. I remember breaking down in the hospital lift because there was a heavily pregnant lady outside smoking, my rational brain told me life isn't black and white and that just because I was hurting didn't mean she didn't deserve happiness and a baby. I think the peace comes from accepting that you can be both heartbroken for yourself while happy for someone else at the same time. If they are particularly close friends maybe also let them know that it's news you are struggling with despite being happy for them
 
Qualcast&Flymo said:
Any chance the missing pieces could have fallen somewhere unnoticed as you were unwrapping or starting to do the puzzles? I remember when me kids were much younger and still happy doing puzzles, finding odd missing pieces well away from the puzzle on the floor - and lego bits too, down the side of the sofa or in clothing.
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We found it in the box - whilst looking for other coour pieces to put a section together. Not sure how we both missed i three times and now I feel really silly!


Free Ranger said:
I would count the edge pieces top and bottom and up each side but NOT including the corners (avoids the problem of counting them twice). If you are missing an edge piece in a rectangular puzzle it will be obvious as the opposing sides should have the same number of pieces. Is that any help? I may be missing the point here... but if one side is 1 less than the other there's a piece missing but if opposing sides have a difference of 2 it's less likely that 2 bits are missing and more likely that one bit has been added to the wrong edge - easy to do when the pattern is blurry. Or if there is 1 different on the sides and another at the top/bottom it is more likely that a bit has been added where it shouldn't. I don't want to question your puzzling experience though!

My mum has to count like this a lot as occasionally the cat gets on her puzzle table and bats the bits over the floor. She was in such a frenzy when her last Christmas puzzle was missing one piece that she tipped out the hoover bag... 20 minutes later there it was!
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I hadn't thought of that! Will try that next time. We are currently about one tenth through the puzzle and it's definitely challenging my patience!

@Claire W no words that can help you but I'm sending you a hug.
 
I’m so sorry it’s so close to home @Claire W You are not a horrible person so please try and change your thinking on that front. I think not being able to have children is something that can potentially stay with you for a long time. I think 9 years is not that long a time.

I don’t claim to know how you feel but I think you cut yourself some slack. Put on a brave face and when you can, chat through with your husband. You may find he feels the same way. Wishing you all the best. Lots of hugs.
 
Sar said:
We found it in the box - whilst looking for other coour pieces to put a section together. Not sure how we both missed i three times and now I feel really silly!



I hadn't thought of that! Will try that next time. We are currently about one tenth through the puzzle and it's definitely challenging my patience!

@Claire W no words that can help you but I'm sending you a hug.
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If it makes you feel any better, several years and two addresses ago I was doing a jigsaw and a piece was missing. I checked the kitchen, the hall, the bedroom, the living room, nothing. It was nowhere. I messaged the seller (not an Amazon purchase) and they said they'd send me out a new bag of pieces because they couldn't send out just one.

I found it that night in the bathroom and I genuinely don't know how that was possible. I felt too guilty to message the seller again too, I think they'd already sent out the new bag :bal:
 
Thank you everyone. We’ve just come home as Rosie isn’t feeling well.

Sadly we were turned down for adoption due to my mental health problems and IVF isn’t an option due to my particular infertility problem. It wouldn’t work so we don’t qualify.

Sorry for the struggles that others have had too x
 
Claire W said:
Thank you everyone. We’ve just come home as Rosie isn’t feeling well.

Sadly we were turned down for adoption due to my mental health problems and IVF isn’t an option due to my particular infertility problem. It wouldn’t work so we don’t qualify.

Sorry for the struggles that others have had too x
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Sorry doesn’t cover it but I’ll say it anyway.
 
I'm sorry too. My young family member with PCOS is always smiling for her friends as they produce baby after baby - but she doesn't get used to it. The tactful ones at least will tell her in advance of seeing her. She's going to try IVF... we've got everything crossed for her. There are some things we just can't control and all we can do is work on the things that we can 💕
 
Free Ranger said:
I'm sorry too. My young family member with PCOS is always smiling for her friends as they produce baby after baby - but she doesn't get used to it. The tactful ones at least will tell her in advance of seeing her. She's going to try IVF... we've got everything crossed for her. There are some things we just can't control and all we can do is work on the things that we can 💕
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It’s awful :( I hope that the IVF works for her x
 
You aren't a bad person @Claire W you are human. At one time I thought that my husband and I couldn't have children. I had a condition called Amenorrhoea when I was younger. We went to see a Consultant and ended up with 3 boys but that was a rollercoaster ride. It isn't as easy as everyone thinks: You meet someone, you get married (or live together), you have children. Sadly for a lot of people this isn't the reality.
 
I'm sorry @Claire W 😔😔. I used to get broody in the past whenever I have friends who got pregnant. Not anymore for me though.

Hubby and I decided to not have kids before we got serious in our relationship. I wanted in the past but if I want to be with hubby, I know I have to compromise. With hubby's health being unpredictable (he has autoimmune disease), I accepted it long time ago. Hence we have the piggies. Plus we both love travelling and having kids would really be a hindrance for us to do that, especially when visiting my families in the Philippines. Flight costs and everything is expensive. So my nephews and nieces get all the love I can give (I can't stop spoiling them even if they live in the Philippines).

Big hugs to you. I can fully sympathise. ❤❤
 
Free Ranger said:
I'm sorry too. My young family member with PCOS is always smiling for her friends as they produce baby after baby - but she doesn't get used to it. The tactful ones at least will tell her in advance of seeing her. She's going to try IVF... we've got everything crossed for her. There are some things we just can't control and all we can do is work on the things that we can 💕
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My eldest sister has PCOS too. She found about it around 4 or 5 years ago. Although she already has 2 sons by that time. She wanted to have a baby girl and the youngest son by that time was around 6yrs old so she was ready to have another baby. But her OB told her it's quite a hard time to get pregnant again with her PCOS. So she accepted it that she won't have another baby again.

Well fast forward to around April 2020 (just around when Covid was in full bloom), she found out she was pregnant! She was really hoping for a baby girl, and come Nov 2020, my niece, Hailie, was born. She calls her a miracle baby because she never really expected for her.
 
Argh. Friday night, New year's eve, and the rash gets 1000x worse. Felt like a right eejit having to ring up for the on call GP but this is horrendous. I just don't want it being something contagious, lol.
 
Thank you everyone. I have something called Diminished ovarian reserve where basically my eggs are of poor quality. I also have a blocked Fallopian tube and my husband has a low sperm count so falling pregnant isn’t possible :( The only way for us to have a baby is by surrogacy using donor eggs and sperm which is something neither of us feel comfortable with and even if we did, we just couldn’t afford it :(
 
Claire W said:
Thank you everyone. I have something called Diminished ovarian reserve where basically my eggs are of poor quality. I also have a blocked Fallopian tube and my husband has a low sperm count so falling pregnant isn’t possible :( The only way for us to have a baby is by surrogacy using donor eggs and sperm which is something neither of us feel comfortable with and even if we did, we just couldn’t afford it :(
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Claire, regardless of your struggles, how you feel is how you feel, and it is always valid.
Your reality is what you are living with every day, and it is normal to find it hard when you hear about others being pregnant when you know it isn't an option for you and your husband.
Your feelings do not make you a bad person. Your feeling make you human.
Sending you huge hugs from Switzerland tonight.
 
Lorcan said:
Argh. Friday night, New year's eve, and the rash gets 1000x worse. Felt like a right eejit having to ring up for the on call GP but this is horrendous. I just don't want it being something contagious, lol.
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Ah, psoriasis. That was an expensive trip for the usual suspect lol. You could almost see the guys "...really?" expression behind the mask lol.
 
does it usually flare up like that @Lorcan and do you know what the trigger is?
 
Siikibam said:
does it usually flare up like that @Lorcan and do you know what the trigger is?
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Well, it's the first time I've known it to turn up on my legs nevermind my knees, and I haven't had such a violent flare in, I want to say years. The trigger's got to be stress, which I'd put down to first my prescription going AWOL, then moving, then the Christmas period, and then again at like 6.30pm on New Year's Eve (no better time if you ask me) I had to tell the pharmacy it looked like they'd lost another of my prescriptions. And they agreed, which was even worse, although we don't actually know which one went AWOL this time, just that it's not the one from the 29th.

Hmm. That couldn't possibly have anything to do with it getting much worse tonight, of course not :roll:
 
Lorcan said:
Well, it's the first time I've known it to turn up on my legs nevermind my knees, and I haven't had such a violent flare in, I want to say years. The trigger's got to be stress, which I'd put down to first my prescription going AWOL, then moving, then the Christmas period, and then again at like 6.30pm on New Year's Eve (no better time if you ask me) I had to tell the pharmacy it looked like they'd lost another of my prescriptions. And they agreed, which was even worse, although we don't actually know which one went AWOL this time, just that it's not the one from the 29th.

Hmm. That couldn't possibly have anything to do with it getting much worse tonight, of course not :roll:
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Not at all, must be something else 🤔 at least you can still find some humour in it all. Do you have anything topical you can use or take to help?
 
Siikibam said:
Not at all, must be something else 🤔 at least you can still find some humour in it all. Do you have anything topical you can use or take to help?
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No, not at the moment. I tend to have it chronically on my chest and head, for the head it's topical liquid steroids and medicated shampoos, and for the chest, because it's chronic, they switched me from topical steroids to doublebase when I was in hospital. That was a year ago, and anything else I did have I threw out when I moved. I've got another prescription now for steroids, and now that I know it's not infected or contagious I can probably get it filled on Sunday. Doubt anywhere will be open today.

At least it's not shingles.
 
Claire W said:
Thank you everyone. I have something called Diminished ovarian reserve where basically my eggs are of poor quality. I also have a blocked Fallopian tube and my husband has a low sperm count so falling pregnant isn’t possible :( The only way for us to have a baby is by surrogacy using donor eggs and sperm which is something neither of us feel comfortable with and even if we did, we just couldn’t afford it :(
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Life has certainly dealt you both a tough hand, @Claire W . It's no wonder if you feel sometimes that it is unfair, you're certainly not either selfish or horrible. My husband has a uni friend who couldn't have children (very early menopause), she didn't come to our wedding because the children and babies there would have upset her too much. It would have been heartless of me to not understand her reason for not coming. And whilst some women may find that the pain and heartache lessens over time, there's no reason it "should" do so for every one. Just as not everyone who loses their husband or wife 'gets over it' however long they live afterwards.
 
Uh, I don't know if anyone knows the answer to this but I'll ask anyway - is it a problem to fill out a prescription that doesn't have the correct address? Now that it's daylight I've realised someone's mangled my address somehow so it's a mix of the old one (first line) and the new one (everything else minus the door number). And I am not going back to out of hours if it's not absolutely necessary.
 
Lorcan said:
Uh, I don't know if anyone knows the answer to this but I'll ask anyway - is it a problem to fill out a prescription that doesn't have the correct address? Now that it's daylight I've realised someone's mangled my address somehow so it's a mix of the old one (first line) and the new one (everything else minus the door number). And I am not going back to out of hours if it's not absolutely necessary.
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Ummm…🤷🏾‍♀️ I assume it’s your doctor so would also ring them and make sure they have the correct one on record.
 
Lorcan said:
Uh, I don't know if anyone knows the answer to this but I'll ask anyway - is it a problem to fill out a prescription that doesn't have the correct address? Now that it's daylight I've realised someone's mangled my address somehow so it's a mix of the old one (first line) and the new one (everything else minus the door number). And I am not going back to out of hours if it's not absolutely necessary.
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If it’s not a CD then the pharmacy might allow it and they may just change it on the script. I would try to get it first as that’s likely easier then having to chase the doctors to write a new one.
 
Siikibam said:
Ummm…🤷🏾‍♀️ I assume it’s your doctor so would also ring them and make sure they have the correct one on record.
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No, the on call isn't my GP, it's a GP that gets dragged in for overtime and they could be any GP from Rochdale, Bury, Heywood or Middleton.
 
Lavinia said:
If it’s not a CD then the pharmacy might allow it and they may just change it on the script. I would try to get it first as that’s likely easier then having to chase the doctors to write a new one.
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Nah it's not a CD. Thankfully. I don't know how it got mangled on the system, lol. That's impressive, even with my luck.
 
I am in a whatsapp group with my husband, mother in law, father in law, sister in law, brother in law and niece. They all text last night to wish HIM a happy new year. May be I am being over sensitive but I am feeling hurt that my name wasn't mentioned :(
 
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