So Neighbour A is currently living elsewhere. Her fire alarm started beeping tonight, but it wasn't setting the alarms off in the rest of the building so I ignored it in favour of the toilet (thanks, IBS).
Finish on the toilet, Neighbour B has discovered the alarm going off and is convinced there's a squatter in there because she put her key in the door and the alarm stopped. Well, yes, but it's been on and off a couple of times now I point out. Nope, Neighbour B is convinced and goes to get Neighbour C and D. Meanwhile I look out my window - I can't see in Neighbour A's windows, but one is open, and there's no smoke or flames near it. The window is fairly central to the flat, if there was something it'd be seen.Meanwhile, Neighbour C has says she has no idea what's going on, Neighbour D has phoned the fire brigade, Neighbour E has phoned for security because we're gonna need access to the skeleton key.
So I've shoved the important things into my pocket (tobacco pouch, lighter, screwdriver), locked my door, and listened in the hallway. Neighbour C insists she can smell smoke which none of the rest of us can smell. Neighbour D and E are now saying we're being told to leave the building because neither of them have indoor voices, so I hear this, and I leave. Walk downstairs, check the fire panel on the way out, the fire panel isn't reporting any issues. Sigh.
Sit myself down on the wall outside (at the street), roll a cigarette, listen to Neighbours D and E banging on all the doors to get everyone out on the building. They're also banging on mine, which I can't answer because I'm not there. They were convinced I was going to burn to death and I was too busy cackling away while 4 fire engines turned up. FOUR.
I walked round the side of the building to find one of the crew standing staring up at the windows and I'm like, "It's that one with the open window." "It's not that one?" "No." "I thought they said it was that one?" "No, that's my flat. It's the one with the open window beside it."Then I went and sat on the wall across the road, lit another cigarette, and that's when Neighbour D realised I was actually outside and started yelling at me for giving her a heart attack. Security turned up an hour later. No fire, no squatters.
Why have I had notification from Paypal that this mug is on it's way to me?
