Things you say to your piggies, but would never say to a person

[Ramia]

"Stripey, are you done pooping? I'd like to see your poop."

 

[Betsy]

"Bramble you really do have velcro hair and I'm sorry it's all tangled up and it hurts a bit when I comb it but I have to get all the hay and seeds out of it. Have you deliberately walked through a hedge backwards?"