The person below me.

I couldn't resist, I called one of the Afghan markets and said

Hello sir, how are you? He answered in a long sentence I couldn't understand so I said

I speak a little Farsi but not well

So he switched to English and said you can speak in English

So I pretended to be inquiring about a product!

Lol!
 
True lol I'm always alone in the house

The person below me couldn't fill out paperwork because they forgot their passport. Will have to go back to the library tomorrow to print everything off, with the expired passport!
Can you not do it online like we can here?
 
False

The person below me had to drink wine tonight as the wine box sprung a leak and flooded the fridge.
What an unfortunate mistake…
And I did, in fact, eat a piece of pepper and a stem of coriander.

The person below me is having late night craving.
 
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