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newpiggies
Natnat x said:
I meant to ask, Natnat, what you think of chatrooms?
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I meant to ask, Natnat, what you think of chatrooms?
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lilgalnatalie
i dont think msn is safe at all, because you dont no who your talking too, and perverts can easily pull you in to a 'safe' confidence about them. kids monitered chatrooms are good, like aol and habbo, as long as you dont gve out details
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tawny
I'm 5ft 2 but shrinking 
know what u mean about having a tall kid, comes in really handy but doesn't half hurt your neck when you have to talk up to them 
nat i have never heard of habbo................... think i need to start doing a bit of research.
I'm typing away and trying to ignore my lad, he is pacing around like a caged lion
and making sli comments about me being obsessed with this forum and telling me how r rescue piggy has trust in him ;D think that's a dig about me not trusting him.
think it's gonna be along weekend :-\ and to think they break up on wed
know what u mean about having a tall kid, comes in really handy but doesn't half hurt your neck when you have to talk up to them nat i have never heard of habbo...................
think i need to start doing a bit of research.I'm typing away and trying to ignore my lad, he is pacing around like a caged lion
and making sli comments about me being obsessed with this forum and telling me how r rescue piggy has trust in him ;D think that's a dig about me not trusting him.think it's gonna be along weekend :-\ and to think they break up on wed
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newpiggies
Sounds a bit like my lad when he has the grump! :laugh:
Ours break up on Friday.
Ours break up on Friday.
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squeakywheeky
Do some research into autistic spectrum disorders so you can familarise yourself with a little of what he is going through with that side of things. I could list certain areas but the range of difficulties is vast and it would be silly for me to speculate.
I can identify with the anxiety side of things. It is extremely difficult for the little boy of 9 i work with to control his feelings he cries for long periods of time about missing his mummy when at the same time he is worried about hurting his guinea pigs but has no understanding of why pulling their ears will hurt them. He is very self centred and cannot empathise or sypathise really. All discussions or arguments will revolve around him, what he is feeling, what i can do to make him feel better - never about me or my feelings. Not that he doesn't care for me just that he has no ability to think that way when feeling like that. Sorry this is waffle. i just wanted you to understnd that his difficulties probably take centre stage when he's feeling down etc and to think that the little boy I work with will have to copw with this AND being a teenager.. bloomin' heck!
I can identify with the anxiety side of things. It is extremely difficult for the little boy of 9 i work with to control his feelings he cries for long periods of time about missing his mummy when at the same time he is worried about hurting his guinea pigs but has no understanding of why pulling their ears will hurt them. He is very self centred and cannot empathise or sypathise really. All discussions or arguments will revolve around him, what he is feeling, what i can do to make him feel better - never about me or my feelings. Not that he doesn't care for me just that he has no ability to think that way when feeling like that. Sorry this is waffle. i just wanted you to understnd that his difficulties probably take centre stage when he's feeling down etc and to think that the little boy I work with will have to copw with this AND being a teenager.. bloomin' heck!
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tawny
i know what u mean, i have tryed to understand all of this, i have read so much on autism over the last thirteen years and obviously have lived with it and all the traumas. uptil now i have always been able to make sense of it and deal with it, no books can teach u what lays ahead and we all do learn from experiences and boy have i had a few of them.
the change has been so sudden and his reactions are unbelievable and i can only hope it is the onset of puberty, as a mother i have to look for reasons for why he has turned so quickly and so severely.
i have dealt with some awful situations some lasting 6months but nothing has ever thrown me of balance like this.
there is an evilness and a coldness that has never existed before and i have always understood his emotional problems but it seems now that his emotions are becoming one of his fears , which autistic kids can have many of.
if it wasn't for the anxiety/depression bit it might not be so bad to deal with but i have seen my kid go over the edge to the point where the docs wanted him to take medication that is used to treat adults with depression. this means i have to be really careful and not push him to far.
nothing i am saying is getting through, the lies are rolling of the tongue. got his school report today and he has gone down hill compared to last year.
what did make me laugh is his teachers went on about concentration............ 98) i wonder if they realise what adhd is and autism and that kids with this find concentration hard :
the change has been so sudden and his reactions are unbelievable and i can only hope it is the onset of puberty, as a mother i have to look for reasons for why he has turned so quickly and so severely.
i have dealt with some awful situations some lasting 6months but nothing has ever thrown me of balance like this.
there is an evilness and a coldness that has never existed before and i have always understood his emotional problems but it seems now that his emotions are becoming one of his fears , which autistic kids can have many of.
if it wasn't for the anxiety/depression bit it might not be so bad to deal with but i have seen my kid go over the edge to the point where the docs wanted him to take medication that is used to treat adults with depression. this means i have to be really careful and not push him to far.
nothing i am saying is getting through, the lies are rolling of the tongue. got his school report today and he has gone down hill compared to last year.
what did make me laugh is his teachers went on about concentration............ 98) i wonder if they realise what adhd is and autism and that kids with this find concentration hard :
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squeakywheeky
Apologies. I hadn't realised the lad was your son. Sorry for telling you 'how to suck eggs' I thought I was talking to a teenager who was his girlfriend. I must read properly and not scan posts. You will know so much more on ASD than I do. Sorry again
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tawny
that's OK ;D i think we can never learn to much and i listen to what everyone says, just cause you have an asd kid don't mean u no it all, there is always new things to be learnt, especially now I'm going through the teens, never had the terrible two's mayb I'm gonna get the teens problems in double ;D
always grateful for any info, been searching today for asd kids going through the teens but not found anything to help, think it's a case for his head shrink :
after another day i am now trying new tactics and only the next few days will tell is it will start to help
always grateful for any info, been searching today for asd kids going through the teens but not found anything to help, think it's a case for his head shrink :
after another day i am now trying new tactics and only the next few days will tell is it will start to help
With regards to teenagers privacy, I stipulated to my two that they were not entitled to privacy with regards who they spoke to on the phone, pc etc until they were 16 years old. They fought against it of course, but I remained firm. It was for their own protection. Others on here may not agree with me but for my my family it worked well and I will do the same with my two youngest as well. Teenagers do one thing very well and that is lie. It isn't their fault, the changes in their brains during puberty make them risk takers and they are not always responsible for their own behaviour. Mine knew their boundaries and if they stepped over those, they were not allowed their mobiles or access to the pc for a specified length of time. I personally never allowed them a pc in their room as it is almost impossible to keep control of what they are doing! I was open with them about the dangers of chatrooms etc but most teens think that we parents are old fuddy duddys and they know better. The feedback I get now is that I was strict but fair and they are glad I cared enough to be strong in this respect.
You are a wonderful mum Tawny, don't lose sight of that and your son may put the guilt's onto you but it is for his own good. He won't hate you for it although it seems that way now. Don't think that getting outside support means you can't do your job properly. This is a new phase in his development and you need access to knowledge and support to equip you to handle it.
When my daughter started 'playing up' aged 13, I was shocked and felt at a loss as what to do so I attended a 6 week evening course (one night a week) at my local health centre on teenage behaviour and it helped a lot. Your son having autism is an extra challenge but the signs he appears to be displaying are largely typical teen behaviour!
You are a wonderful mum Tawny, don't lose sight of that and your son may put the guilt's onto you but it is for his own good. He won't hate you for it although it seems that way now. Don't think that getting outside support means you can't do your job properly. This is a new phase in his development and you need access to knowledge and support to equip you to handle it.
When my daughter started 'playing up' aged 13, I was shocked and felt at a loss as what to do so I attended a 6 week evening course (one night a week) at my local health centre on teenage behaviour and it helped a lot. Your son having autism is an extra challenge but the signs he appears to be displaying are largely typical teen behaviour!
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newpiggies
13 seems to be the magic age!
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baby-wilson
Natnat x said:
I got banned from habbo from my mum... it was weird being on there though because you dont know who youre talking to... but with msn you can only talk to your contacts and if some weirdo adds you you can deny it...
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tawny
i can't even be angry anymore, i feel empty and cold and that's an awful way to feel about your son. when ever he talks to me i look at him and to myself i wonder if what he is saying is real or true or just another act.
he can't even say sorry and mean it.......................
I'm trying different ways of dealing with this to make life more easy for everyone but inside i feel so venerable and weak. i have a parents evening tomorrow and a meeting with his head of year, feel like i don't wanna go but i know i have to.
he can't even say sorry and mean it.......................
I'm trying different ways of dealing with this to make life more easy for everyone but inside i feel so venerable and weak. i have a parents evening tomorrow and a meeting with his head of year, feel like i don't wanna go but i know i have to.
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bobbysgirl
I'm sorry you're going through this tawny. I really have no experience as my little boy is only 4 but to think all these teenage years are yet to come.... I just wanted you to know i'm thinking of you. Just take a deep breath and carry on as best you can *sending hugs*
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tawny
thanx bobbysgirl........ i think what has shocked me is to realise that my lads emotions are different to others and that the autism has affected them. deep down i knew his way of feeling and thinking was different but over the years we seemed to have dealt with it and i thought i was one of the lucky ones and that my lad had learnt to feel love but reality has taught me different.
when we spoke about feelings but especially love he cried like a baby and curled up and held his head and told me he could'nt feel it and didn't want to and didn't wanna recieve it, he was so distressed but i couldn't hold him at that point.
the lying is not autism ;D
what gets me is he is telling this girl by email that he loves her when i asked him about it he sed well it's not face to face and it's what you do, good job she's in america.
when we spoke about feelings but especially love he cried like a baby and curled up and held his head and told me he could'nt feel it and didn't want to and didn't wanna recieve it, he was so distressed but i couldn't hold him at that point.
the lying is not autism ;D
what gets me is he is telling this girl by email that he loves her
when i asked him about it he sed well it's not face to face and it's what you do, good job she's in america.
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bobbysgirl
tawny said:what gets me is he is telling this girl by email that he loves her
So I suppose that means he doesn't actually mean it then, he's just saying it to her via email. Probably is a good job she's in America - you never know what goes through any teenage boys mind but I don't suppose it's that easy to meet up if she's across the water at least.
Maybe it's put your mind at rest a bit though, about him not being able to say it to you i mean, but he could to her - it doesn't sound like he meant a word of it anyway :-\
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tawny
i don't know what he thinks but autistic kids can get very taken in and if they befriend someone they tend to hang on their every word and believe in everything that person says.
she sent him a poem saying she would die for him and he wrote back saying he would die for her
normal tenage love but with him i can't be sure how serious he is taking it. he did tell me he thinks he loves her cause she is the nicest girl he has ever met.
i tryed to explain love to him and all the different ways you love, none of the emails have anything bad in them, i just hope he isn't taking it all to heart cause we all know how young love can end as quick as it starts.
i am glad she is over seas, mayb having this girl is his way of feeling normal, one of his main friends has a girlfriend and cause he finds it hard to mix mayb this is why he has taken to her, so he can feel like others.
so confussing all of it,
she sent him a poem saying she would die for him and he wrote back saying he would die for her
normal tenage love but with him i can't be sure how serious he is taking it. he did tell me he thinks he loves her cause she is the nicest girl he has ever met.
i tryed to explain love to him and all the different ways you love, none of the emails have anything bad in them, i just hope he isn't taking it all to heart cause we all know how young love can end as quick as it starts.
i am glad she is over seas, mayb having this girl is his way of feeling normal, one of his main friends has a girlfriend and cause he finds it hard to mix mayb this is why he has taken to her, so he can feel like others.
so confussing all of it,
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bobbysgirl
Well, maybe she could be someone for him to talk to then? I know he can talk to you, and often does but I know that when I was a teenager I told my best friend things that I wouldn't have talked to my parents about. Not that I couldn't talk to my parents, I just didn't want to tell them some things although looking back lord knows why. But the other thing that would niggle away at me was whether she is who she says she is, but again with her being so far away I don't suppose it's so much of an issue. :-\
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