Slave training for idiots

weepweeps

weepweeps

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Hello forum piggies it’s Percy and Pepper here. We think most slaves on this forum need more training in how to cater for our exacting needs. We’ve already put our paw prints to the apple petition. Now we have just been made aware that there are restrictions to pea flakes!

Come on fellow piggies this is just not on. So more thorough training of slaves is needed.

Let’s get a comprehensive list together of what we WANT then there will be no confusion by our “know it all slaves”.

Apple, or any fruits really. Hardly any fruit going at our place.
Lino? We’ve not tried it but hey ho;
Plastic bags. Yum 😋

More ideas welcome .......

Let’s get them trained once and for all. Who’s with us?

Love Percy and Pepper

PS. the Ever Beautiful Betsy is top of our list to fight our corner. But if you need some teeth to back you up then we believe Ruby is your gal.
 
Dear Percy and Pepper

We were aware of the apple restrictions which are placed upon all of us piggies (our own slave is absolutely dreadful at dishing out the yummy apples), but we have never even heard of these ‘pea flakes’. She has not once ever even mentioned such a thing. We knew she was probably hiding things from us, but we are beginning to think she is hiding a lot more than we ever thought possible.

As we are so upset to find yet more things the meany lady is keeping from us, we are soooo with you.

Dexter has a very soft spot for the rubber strip on the dustpan but that gets taken away from him as well

Yours, most upset
Dexter and Popcorn
 
Definitely give it a go, it’s yummy!
A word of advice though, you have to be mega quick to get to it as there is a big bristly hedgehog thing which is apparently called a brush that seems to work with the dustpan, and if you get caught up in that you might accidentally get groomed by it which is just awful, but the dustpan rubber strip thing does make it worth it!
 
Hi Percy and Pepper

We've never tried plastic bags, however, Luna finds the plastic labels on drinks bottles very tasty. Will look out for these plastic bags though....

We occasionally nibble our chloroplast, normally just after our strange mother takes all our nice smelly bedding and puts fresh in that we have to stink up. But much prefer thinner plastic.

We rarely get pea flakes and normally have to do something for them. Luna hurt her foot and got pea flakes then while mother poked the foot, however, recent attempts made at pretending we have hurt feet have not resulted in pea flakes. Luna did a great job at holding her paw up to her body and staring at mother, I'm not sure what we missed.....

Thanks
Nova and Luna (the munch squad).
 
We used to have a lovely time pulling the fibres out of mummy slaves rug on the floor. But then she got tired of shouting 'don't eat that rug' and took it away to a far away place called upstairs. We miss the rug.
Love from Beatrice, Pepper and Merry.
 
Rugs and bottle labels added to the list of things we WANT. Don’t think me and Pepper have seen a drinks bottle so not sure we’d be able to get hold of that to try. Nor a rug. We’ve tried bedding though and can recommend and also paint off the bathroom door (🤫don’t tell piggy daddy it was us). Actually it was Percy.
 
We havent tried eating the rug. Pulling the treads on towels is fun though. Not for eating just pull the little treads so the short loops become BIG loops.

Mother doesnt have rugs...... she has carpet so I imagine quite similar to eat, we might try during next floor time.

We pooped all over the carpet last floor time, mother puts fleece or towels on most the floor but on the bit of bare carpet we did lots of poop and then wee to make it nice and wet. When mother vacuumed it then made poo streaks all over the carpet but then she wiped that up too! She's strange like that, she must enjoy moving our poo about and cleaning it so we must make more wet poo pile for her.
 
ThatPurpleB said:
We havent tried eating the rug. Pulling the treads on towels is fun though. Not for eating just pull the little treads so the short loops become BIG loops.

Mother doesnt have rugs...... she has carpet so I imagine quite similar to eat, we might try during next floor time.

We pooped all over the carpet last floor time, mother puts fleece or towels on most the floor but on the bit of bare carpet we did lots of poop and then wee to make it nice and wet. When mother vacuumed it then made poo streaks all over the carpet but then she wiped that up too! She's strange like that, she must enjoy moving our poo about and cleaning it so we must make more wet poo pile for her.
Click to expand...
Of course we must poop and pee on the tiny piece of flooring they haven’t covered. Well done. Keep it up.
 
We all enjoy pulling the fibres out of the lounge rug but now me and Kiki have found something even more delicious. The leather trim on the side of slaves nice new sofa! Slave isn’t very pleased about our chewing and has threatened to buy a hutch and put us outside, we actually like being outside, no boring cricket commentary and slaves awful taste in music! 😆 Posh and Ginger agree, they want more run time too!

Keep up the Cause! Hector, Kiki, Posh and Ginger 😉
 
Dear Percy and Pepper,
Have you tried the labels on the noodle bath mats? I have! It was ok, not amazing. Perhaps not the best one to add to your list.

I agree definitely more apple needed. I hear the big slaves discussing when we last had some, when they have theirs. The big slaves eat a WHOLE apple each most days, I don’t understand why we only get a tiny bit once a week, twice if Daddy slave thinks he can sneak an extra bit in, he likes sneaking us lettuce during the day too….I like him! Oh….. but then he only lets us have one peaflake each, usually on his way to bed…. I want to eat the while bag.

Good luck with mission.
Hector and on behalf of Hamish- he's in a grass coma sleep, I will let him know.

P.S whats “lino”? Can we wheeek for it?
 
Wow. Leather sofas. Our slave will not let us even in the same room as her leather sofas. Not a chance of us ever getting a taste of that. If they gave us more apple and pea flakes we wouldn’t be tempted by these extra delights. It’s their own fault really.
 
AidaB said:
Dear Percy and Pepper,
Have you tried the labels on the noodle bath mats? I have! It was ok, not amazing. Perhaps not the best one to add to your list.

I agree definitely more apple needed. I hear the big slaves discussing when we last had some, when they have theirs. The big slaves eat a WHOLE apple each most days, I don’t understand why we only get a tiny bit once a week, twice if Daddy slave thinks he can sneak an extra bit in, he likes sneaking us lettuce during the day too….I like him! Oh….. but then he only lets us have one peaflake each, usually on his way to bed…. I want to eat the while bag.

Good luck with mission.
Hector and on behalf of Hamish- he's in a grass coma sleep, I will let him know.

P.S whats “lino”? Can we wheeek for it?
Click to expand...
Nope we’ve never heard of a noodle mat. Sounds tasty though.

A grass coma sleep sounds nice. We are munching on grass at this very moment. So a nice snoozy in about half an hour will be very welcome.

We wish piggy daddy didn’t mow the lawn so much though. Who has pigs and mows their own lawn. Idiots. 🤦🏻‍♀️
 
AidaB said:
Dear Percy and Pepper,
Have you tried the labels on the noodle bath mats? I have! It was ok, not amazing. Perhaps not the best one to add to your list.

I agree definitely more apple needed. I hear the big slaves discussing when we last had some, when they have theirs. The big slaves eat a WHOLE apple each most days, I don’t understand why we only get a tiny bit once a week, twice if Daddy slave thinks he can sneak an extra bit in, he likes sneaking us lettuce during the day too….I like him! Oh….. but then he only lets us have one peaflake each, usually on his way to bed…. I want to eat the while bag.

Good luck with mission.
Hector and on behalf of Hamish- he's in a grass coma sleep, I will let him know.

P.S whats “lino”? Can we wheeek for it?
Click to expand...
We love noodle mat labels! If you dont like them send us to us, we have none left.

We were on the sofa the other day and found something they call a journal..... it's a lot like a book but empty. Another strange human thing. Nova bit it and managed to get her teeth through the whole book! There was much complaining from the humans about a bit missing from EVERY page in this book. Journals are nice though, it was nice to get so much paper in one bite so we are on the lookout for books and journals!
 
Do you find that your slaves are sooooo melodramatic? One nibble of a journal or a tiny bite out of a massive sofa and they make the biggest fuss. They need to get a grip. Seriously
 
Exactly!

This journal is empty, no black bits in it yet like their books. Why do they care if we have some?!

Water bottle labels they dont use. Why can we not have them?

We've taken to being very noisy these past few days in protest. Nova has repeatedly done her best screams and pulled about carrot cottage. Our humans gave us 1 carrot cottage to share.... so we fought and screamed over it and then we got another. So we hope more screaming gets us more things to chew.

Also.... can hay cookies go on the list. These look different to the cookies humans eat but the humans still call them cookies. It's just squashed hay. Why can we not have squashed hay?! It smells nicer and Luna likes to drag them off somewhere to lay down to eat. All this standing up and eating is very hard work. The humans do not understand this!
 
ThatPurpleB said:
Exactly!

This journal is empty, no black bits in it yet like their books. Why do they care if we have some?!

Water bottle labels they dont use. Why can we not have them?

We've taken to being very noisy these past few days in protest. Nova has repeatedly done her best screams and pulled about carrot cottage. Our humans gave us 1 carrot cottage to share.... so we fought and screamed over it and then we got another. So we hope more screaming gets us more things to chew.

Also.... can hay cookies go on the list. These look different to the cookies humans eat but the humans still call them cookies. It's just squashed hay. Why can we not have squashed hay?! It smells nicer and Luna likes to drag them off somewhere to lay down to eat. All this standing up and eating is very hard work. The humans do not understand this!
Click to expand...
You don’t get hay cakes?! Even our slave gives us these. We thought these were staple items. Wow you really are deprived.

Hay cakes are going on the list of things we WANT.
 
AidaB said:
Dear Percy and Pepper,
Have you tried the labels on the noodle bath mats? I have! It was ok, not amazing. Perhaps not the best one to add to your list.

I agree definitely more apple needed. I hear the big slaves discussing when we last had some, when they have theirs. The big slaves eat a WHOLE apple each most days, I don’t understand why we only get a tiny bit once a week, twice if Daddy slave thinks he can sneak an extra bit in, he likes sneaking us lettuce during the day too….I like him! Oh….. but then he only lets us have one peaflake each, usually on his way to bed…. I want to eat the while bag.

Good luck with mission.
Hector and on behalf of Hamish- he's in a grass coma sleep, I will let him know.

P.S whats “lino”? Can we wheeek for it?
Click to expand...
A WHOLE apple! Well that’s just greedy. Don’t they know how much sugar is in one of those things?

We are not sure about lino either. But apparently it’s lush. So wheek away. Hope you get some.
 
Thank you, we tried wheeeking for lino (when Hamish woke up), but no luck just evening veggies. Nothing special, and we know the slaves have broccoli in the fridge, we WANT more broccoli!

Also we definitely agree, doors in cardboard houses are never big enough.

Who mentioned hay cookies? We get those most days, then Mummy slave complains about the mess we make in the loft, where she puts them. Why give them to us, if your going to complain about the mess. They are delicious, good luck getting some.
H&H
 
We want carrots every day. We want apples more than once in never. We want big bags full of hay, the nice bags that last for days and days and days.
We want 2 midday snacks every day, not just when we can persuade a slave we haven’t had one.
We want to keep our wet, poo filled fleece tunnels for more than a few days.
We want to be fed pea flakes by the handful, not just one each.
We want more spinach and we want it every day.

This thread is a very good idea, thank you Percy and Pepper

Love from Priscilla, Phoebe and Micah
 
weepweeps said:
Peppers says carrots. Not just a teeny weeny piece of a whole carrot. I want the WHOLE carrot.

Whole carrots added to the list of things we WANT
Click to expand...
The human who lives with our mother gives us "afternoon snacks" which mother shouts at him for! But he once gave us a WHOLE carrot, and this other time a WHOLE cucumber. Mother eventually took it off us saying something about sugar and wet poops. She's obsessed with our poops. We like the other human, they try to feed us properly. We dont tell mother what we eat when she's away and neither does this other human either!
 
AidaB said:
Thank you, we tried wheeeking for lino (when Hamish woke up), but no luck just evening veggies. Nothing special, and we know the slaves have broccoli in the fridge, we WANT more broccoli!

Also we definitely agree, doors in cardboard houses are never big enough.

Who mentioned hay cookies? We get those most days, then Mummy slave complains about the mess we make in the loft, where she puts them. Why give them to us, if your going to complain about the mess. They are delicious, good luck getting some.
H&H
Click to expand...
Glad Hamish has finally woken from his grass induced coma. I think Lino is a specialty item. Your slave either has it or doesn’t. Never mind. You get hay cookies 👍🏻 . They are messy. Our slave puts some newspaper down to catch the mess but obviously we pull the cookies off the paper. Well what else has she got to do other than clean up after us?

Broccoli added to the list of things we WANT.
 
Merab's Slave said:
We want carrots every day. We want apples more than once in never. We want big bags full of hay, the nice bags that last for days and days and days.
We want 2 midday snacks every day, not just when we can persuade a slave we haven’t had one.
We want to keep our wet, poo filled fleece tunnels for more than a few days.
We want to be fed pea flakes by the handful, not just one each.
We want more spinach and we want it every day.

This thread is a very good idea, thank you Percy and Pepper

Love from Priscilla, Phoebe and Micah
Click to expand...
Oooo spinach and kale and parsley and celery. We used to get these until some stupid person on some “forum” told her they aren’t good for us so she stopped them. 🥺. She will get us basil once in a blue moon.

All of these nummies have been added to the list of things we WANT.
 
We can definitely add poop bags onto the list.
Our slave goes literally mental when she pours our precious hay trays into the poop bag and the hay, poop and shavings fall onto the floor through our carefully crafted holes. She regularly mutters something about more holes than a doiley as she picks up the debris from the floor. That will teach her to throw away hay just when we’ve softened it to perfection with our pee.
But best of all, to clean it up she has to use the dustpan. And we can’t resist the rubber strip on the dustpan. Oh boy. It is well worth coming out of hiding under the tables to get a nibble on that rubber strip.
And then we usually manage to give her a nip to keep her in her place. That will serve her right for calling me “Shark face”. No idea why she calls me that. Unless sharks have very beautiful teeth like mine.
love Evie (and Iris and Boris, too).
 
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