1 The shock
2 Your owner's dilemma and burden
3 Helpful questions to ask yourself about a make or break operation (ahead or in hindsight)
- The medical side
- My own needs and feelings
4 Helpful questions to ask yourself about terminal care vs. an operation
5 Euthanasia/pts vs. make or break operation (on the spot or in hindsight)
6 Coming to the conclusion that is right for you
7 Where to get more support during the process and afterwards?
- Mental health and support resources
- Links to available services in the UK
- Helpful links for the USA
End of life decisions are some of the hardest choices you can ever be faced with; especially when you are the only one who can make them for somebody you deeply love and care for, whether that is a pet or a human - and you are the only one who can make them. Holding the responsibility over life or death in your hands is a very scary thing.
This guide aims to help you understand your emotional turmoil, what questions to ask yourself so you can work out how you feel on crucial aspects of the decision making process and to ultimately come to the conclusion that feels both right for the one in your legal care and for yourself.
Asking yourself the questions can clear your head (but never your aching heart as each bond is unique and dear) both ahead of making your decision but also after you have had to make a snap decision but are now finding yourself questioning your choices and are overruled by strong feelings of guilt and failure - which is something we all experience after a loss but it they are generally a lot stronger after a traumatic experience. By answering the questions below you will hopefully discover within yourself what you hold dear and that these values are good ones.
Sadly, no choice will be easier on you. Terminal care and/or euthanasia are not an easy or cheap cop-out; they come each with their own emotional challenges but also some hidden joys or comfort. Nor can you make an operation work out by prayer or sheer willpower. There is no sneak peek at the outcome and no guarantee that it will come off. As joyful an mergency operation that is coming off is, as devastating is the opposite outcome for you.
There is essentially no right or wrong whichever way you decide when you are asked to choose but it is important that your choice feels right for you and that by thinking it all through you can avoid to a good extent being eaten up by doubts and guilt afterwards and to feel better with your decision in the long term. This guide aims at helping you in what is in your heart of hearts and that any decisions you base on that are valid ones.
1 The shock
It is totally normal that you feel either numb or overwhelmed when you get the bad news from your vet. Unless you are forced by circumstances (depending on your vet's findings) to make an instant decision, you are within your rights to ask your vet whether and how much time you have to think things over before you commit.
Going into denial over the bad news is also a very common and protective reaction. But who you are protecting is yourself and not necessary the other. Please try not to let your fear of loss take over and allow to it to make everything worse for your piggy and not just yourself. If you feel paralysed or stuck please seek help and talk about it.
Please also be aware that the bad news also mark the start of your grieving process. It has two components - the shock that comes with the realisation that your beloved one has only limited time to live/that their life is a concrete risk and the pain of the actual passing. With a sudden, unexpected death both the shock and the actual loss happen at once, leaving no time for you to brace yourself. Th realisation of imminent mortality is usually the second worst moment of the grieving process, apart of course from the actual passing itself, so please don't feel bad if you are left reeling.
Our End of Life Corner on the forum is here to support you with our understanding and our experiences to listen to and to talk about your own feelings as much as your pressures. We offer community support throughout the whole time.
2 Your owner's dilemma and burden
Unfortunately, only you as the pet owner or legal representative can make the decision. It is both a privilege and a very heavy burden indeed!
Your vet cannot make the decision for you but are within your rights to dicuss with them the cost, how great the chances of a positive outcome or a fail are, the likely cost of an operation and any potential post-op care and how much of a longer term improvement a full recovery will likely bring. You can also ask your vet (politely) as to how sanguine they are about the operation and a good outcome and how experienced they (or the main operating vet) are with the proposed type of operation in guinea pigs.
If you have left in a daze, you are always welcome to ask for a (paid) slot for a phone consultation to ask all the questions you have not been able to ask. Best write them down and tick them off. If you have anxiety issues, ask a person of trust to listen in during your conversation so they can repeat the salient points to you afterwards.
Pet Owners Anxiety - Practical Tips For Sufferers and For Supporters
If you had to make a decision there and then, and are feeling totally torn or that you have made the wrong one, then this guide can hopefully help you rediscover what positive values have been behind your decision to help you gain some firm ground to stand upon.
3 Helpful questions to ask yourself about a make or break operation (ahead or in hindsight)
The follwing questions are not easy ones and you will have to be totally honest with yourself. But they will help you to learn how you feel about the various aspects so you can make a much more informed decision, knowing better where your head or your heart lie. It will also go quite a way to make peace between your head and heart who are often at odds during the grieving process while you digest and process it all. You can always revisit the questions and if you have answered them honestly, you should arrive at the same answer despite your heartache.
Every bond and every situation is unique. Over time, you may be able to skip some of the questions because your attitude towards the same issue has not changed, the questions that deal with the bond and with your specific situation are always different and need to be answered afresh. I myself have gone either way with different piggies, depending on what felt right in my heart of hearts and I would choose the same, even if I knew the outcome.
The medical and financial side
- Can I afford not just the operation but also any expensive follow-up care if the operation recovery is not smooth or if my piggy never recovers fully?
- How great and important is the gain for my piggy if the operation comes off?
- How experienced is my vet and their operating/nursing team with guinea pigs and have they (or their operating vet) done comparable successful ops on guinea pigs before?
- How strong or frail/old is my piggy and how optimistic is my vet about the difficulty of the procedure and a successful outcome?
My own needs and feelings
- How strongly do I want to give my piggy every possible chance?
- How important is it to me that my piggies have as long a life with me as possible?
- Is my own fear of losing a beloved one and not being able to cope with their loss greater than any other consideration?
- Can I look after a piggy that is not having a smooth recovery and that may need longer term feeding and medicating support? Do I have the time, physical and mental strength for exhausting aftercare for weeks at home?
- Can I face the possibility that the operation could turn out to be just a very expensive form of euthanasia if things go badly haywire?
Tips for looking after your piggy before and after an operation: Tips For Post-operative Care
4 Helpful questions to ask yourself about terminal care
Sometimes we have the time to mull over how we want to proceed when we are looking at terminal care in as much comfort as possible as opposed to a rather risky operation but sometimes we are dealing with an emergency and have to make the decision between operation or euthanasia there and then. This chapter deals with the choice between terminal care or a make or break operation.
- Guinea pigs don't know that there is a choice; they just live their life as it comes. Would I rather not put my piggy through the stress and risk of an operation at the definite cost of a guaranteed shorter but life span with a familiar routine?
- Do I feel that quality of life is more important for my guinea pigs than quantity of life?
- Am I braced for the inevitable ups and downs in the daily form (especially towards the end) and the constant questioning of myself whether the day has come or not?
- Am I willing to concentrate on making the best of whatever remains of my piggy's life (whether that is just days, weeks or months) and to share their little joys over my own fears and ongoing grieving?
- Can I afford financially and emotionally a protracted illness with high medical support?
- Can I afford to take my piggy for euthanasia if the pain/discomfort is becoming too strong for any medication and I have to make the decision a little bit earlier, without having it taken out of my hands by a natural death or a rush to the vets for a mercy pts/euthanasia if death is not coming easily?
More information and advice on aspects of looking after a terminally ill guinea pig:
- A Practical and Sensitive Guide to Dying, Terminal Illness and Euthanasia in Guinea Pigs
- Caring for Older Piggies and Facing the End - A practical and supportive information collection
- All About Syringe Feeding and Medicating Guinea Pigs with Videos and Pictures
- Looking After Guinea Pigs With Limited or No Mobility
5 Euthanasia/pts vs make or break operation (on the spot or in hindsight)
This chapter is for all of you who have been faced with unenviable on the spot choice between a very dicey last chance at life or a merciful letting go. It is perfectly normal to experience strong feelings of doubt, failure or guilt in the wake of a loss, whichever way you have chosen; especially with a failed operation or recovery.
- Would I rather my piggy was free of any major discomfort without the stress and risk of a make or break operation if they are already in considerable pain and on high pain medication?
- Would I rather put my piggy's wellbeing before my own fear of loss in view of an absence of realistic recovery chances?
- Can I stand and do I want stand to see my piggy suffering despite high levels of pain medication just because I fear losing them?
- Have I tried my best to give my piggy all possible chances but they haven't worked out?
- Can I accept that I can only buy a chance at a successful outcome but I cannot buy the guarantee for success?
A Practical and Sensitive Guide to Dying, Terminal Illness and Euthanasia in Guinea Pigs
6 Coming to the conclusion that is right for you
Always listen to your heart of hearts, whether you have to make an on the spot decision or you have time to mull over it.
If you have the time, try to answer the questions in this guide so you know where you stand. Sleep over it and let your subconscious do its work, too. Then listen again to your heart of hearts but this time with hopefully a bit clearer mind at what is behind what you feel and try to take strength from what you stand for by knowing that you are doing or have chosen what is right for you and right for that special piggy of yours.
Whether you want to put all or money on the throw of dice and opt for a make-or-break operation to gain valuable lifetime in good health or whether you'd rather cash in the money and cherish every remaining day with your piggy with a special activity or little joy for both of you or whether you were forced to make the choice between ending any suffering altogether as the kindest option, there is no right or wrong with your own choice, as long as it is both right for you and for your piggy's interests and wellbeing.
The difficult part lies usually not so much in your choice but in making peace with your choice as there is no one right way, only your own way. And learning to trust in yourself, your feelings and moral instincts. It is however worth it because we grow and mature as humans with our challenges and not by never setting a foot wrong. Our roots grow deep in the dark so that the visible green foliage can become strong and can flourish.
7 Hindsight and the guilt mind trap
As humans, we are wired to reflect everything back onto ourselves. This is even greater when we suffer from anxiety or other mental health issues and struggle with having to be in control of everything at all times. The loss of a beloved one is implicitly a major loss of control, no matter that we cannot do anything about biology in the form of a much smaller body and much faster metabolism - that is the inevitable fact behind the much shorter life spans of our pets.
We all experience feelings of soul-searching, failure or guilt because we love and care. These feelings are not because we have actually made any wrong decisions or mistakes (we usually haven't, as much as our brain is trying to tell us differently) but they are in fact an expression of deeply we love and care. We wouldn't quite simply have these feelings if we didn't care.
Human Bereavement: Grieving, Processing and Support Links for Guinea Pig Owners and Their Children
If you have been able to answer the above questions in a positive value-affirming way (never mind what you have decided for), then please try to take strength from that because you have done your best and have not failed your beloved one in any way.
None of us can foresee the outcome; we all have to tread that maze blindfolded and can only work with the scant information available at the time. It is so much easier to climb down a tree from a branch than finding the unmarked correct branch when climbing up a tree. Try not to be too hard with yourself. If you can't, please seek help for yourself sooner rather than later and talk about it; the less it can fester the better for you but also the better for keeping/regaining all the happy memories of your special little one that has enriched your life so much.
8 Where to get support during the process and afterwards?
Our End of Life and Bereavement Section offers you ongoing community support during the whole time and for as long as needed to ask any questions you have - especially the 'little' ones that can trip you up so badly; to talk about your concerns, problems, feelings and pain.
We ask you kindly to just start one ongoing support thread and bookmark the link so we can keep all posts together. You won't have to repeat your story all the time and we can refresh our memory if needed and tailor our answers to exactly your personal situation straight away, no matter how long.
However, if you feel you are very much stuck in a pernicious mind loop or too paralysed with fear to make any decisions at all, please seek professional help, either with mental health or pet bereavement charities if you can access any. Depending on the country, you have to google.
Mental health and support resources
If you suffer from major mental health issues with trigger aspects, please stop reading NOW, alert a trusted person and let them take over from here!
There is no shame if you struggle with the thought of an impending loss, having to make or struggling with having had to make difficult end of life decisions.
Respecting your own limits is important – for both your piggy and yourself. It is in fact a sign of the depth of your enduring love if you put your piggy’s needs for a happy longer life or as gentle a journey to the Rainbow Bridge before your own inner turmoil and your fears of loss.
You can also call a mental health crisis line or a pet bereavement service of you feel that talking to somebody can help you during that difficult time.
Links to available services in the UK
- This link here gives you an overview of available services for the UK: SupportLine - Problems: Pet Bereavement: Advice, support and information
- The Blue Cross runs both an email service as well as free phone line manned by trained volunteers: Pet loss
Helpful links for the USA
- Humane Society US: Coping with the death of your pet
- Pet loss support page: Ten Tips on Coping with Pet Loss
I sincerely hope that this guide has been able to help you a little with finding your way through one of the most difficult of challenges you can face as a loving and committed pet owner.
2 Your owner's dilemma and burden
3 Helpful questions to ask yourself about a make or break operation (ahead or in hindsight)
- The medical side
- My own needs and feelings
4 Helpful questions to ask yourself about terminal care vs. an operation
5 Euthanasia/pts vs. make or break operation (on the spot or in hindsight)
6 Coming to the conclusion that is right for you
7 Where to get more support during the process and afterwards?
- Mental health and support resources
- Links to available services in the UK
- Helpful links for the USA
End of life decisions are some of the hardest choices you can ever be faced with; especially when you are the only one who can make them for somebody you deeply love and care for, whether that is a pet or a human - and you are the only one who can make them. Holding the responsibility over life or death in your hands is a very scary thing.
This guide aims to help you understand your emotional turmoil, what questions to ask yourself so you can work out how you feel on crucial aspects of the decision making process and to ultimately come to the conclusion that feels both right for the one in your legal care and for yourself.
Asking yourself the questions can clear your head (but never your aching heart as each bond is unique and dear) both ahead of making your decision but also after you have had to make a snap decision but are now finding yourself questioning your choices and are overruled by strong feelings of guilt and failure - which is something we all experience after a loss but it they are generally a lot stronger after a traumatic experience. By answering the questions below you will hopefully discover within yourself what you hold dear and that these values are good ones.
Sadly, no choice will be easier on you. Terminal care and/or euthanasia are not an easy or cheap cop-out; they come each with their own emotional challenges but also some hidden joys or comfort. Nor can you make an operation work out by prayer or sheer willpower. There is no sneak peek at the outcome and no guarantee that it will come off. As joyful an mergency operation that is coming off is, as devastating is the opposite outcome for you.
There is essentially no right or wrong whichever way you decide when you are asked to choose but it is important that your choice feels right for you and that by thinking it all through you can avoid to a good extent being eaten up by doubts and guilt afterwards and to feel better with your decision in the long term. This guide aims at helping you in what is in your heart of hearts and that any decisions you base on that are valid ones.
1 The shock
It is totally normal that you feel either numb or overwhelmed when you get the bad news from your vet. Unless you are forced by circumstances (depending on your vet's findings) to make an instant decision, you are within your rights to ask your vet whether and how much time you have to think things over before you commit.
Going into denial over the bad news is also a very common and protective reaction. But who you are protecting is yourself and not necessary the other. Please try not to let your fear of loss take over and allow to it to make everything worse for your piggy and not just yourself. If you feel paralysed or stuck please seek help and talk about it.
Please also be aware that the bad news also mark the start of your grieving process. It has two components - the shock that comes with the realisation that your beloved one has only limited time to live/that their life is a concrete risk and the pain of the actual passing. With a sudden, unexpected death both the shock and the actual loss happen at once, leaving no time for you to brace yourself. Th realisation of imminent mortality is usually the second worst moment of the grieving process, apart of course from the actual passing itself, so please don't feel bad if you are left reeling.
Our End of Life Corner on the forum is here to support you with our understanding and our experiences to listen to and to talk about your own feelings as much as your pressures. We offer community support throughout the whole time.
2 Your owner's dilemma and burden
Unfortunately, only you as the pet owner or legal representative can make the decision. It is both a privilege and a very heavy burden indeed!
Your vet cannot make the decision for you but are within your rights to dicuss with them the cost, how great the chances of a positive outcome or a fail are, the likely cost of an operation and any potential post-op care and how much of a longer term improvement a full recovery will likely bring. You can also ask your vet (politely) as to how sanguine they are about the operation and a good outcome and how experienced they (or the main operating vet) are with the proposed type of operation in guinea pigs.
If you have left in a daze, you are always welcome to ask for a (paid) slot for a phone consultation to ask all the questions you have not been able to ask. Best write them down and tick them off. If you have anxiety issues, ask a person of trust to listen in during your conversation so they can repeat the salient points to you afterwards.
Pet Owners Anxiety - Practical Tips For Sufferers and For Supporters
If you had to make a decision there and then, and are feeling totally torn or that you have made the wrong one, then this guide can hopefully help you rediscover what positive values have been behind your decision to help you gain some firm ground to stand upon.
3 Helpful questions to ask yourself about a make or break operation (ahead or in hindsight)
The follwing questions are not easy ones and you will have to be totally honest with yourself. But they will help you to learn how you feel about the various aspects so you can make a much more informed decision, knowing better where your head or your heart lie. It will also go quite a way to make peace between your head and heart who are often at odds during the grieving process while you digest and process it all. You can always revisit the questions and if you have answered them honestly, you should arrive at the same answer despite your heartache.
Every bond and every situation is unique. Over time, you may be able to skip some of the questions because your attitude towards the same issue has not changed, the questions that deal with the bond and with your specific situation are always different and need to be answered afresh. I myself have gone either way with different piggies, depending on what felt right in my heart of hearts and I would choose the same, even if I knew the outcome.
The medical and financial side
- Can I afford not just the operation but also any expensive follow-up care if the operation recovery is not smooth or if my piggy never recovers fully?
- How great and important is the gain for my piggy if the operation comes off?
- How experienced is my vet and their operating/nursing team with guinea pigs and have they (or their operating vet) done comparable successful ops on guinea pigs before?
- How strong or frail/old is my piggy and how optimistic is my vet about the difficulty of the procedure and a successful outcome?
My own needs and feelings
- How strongly do I want to give my piggy every possible chance?
- How important is it to me that my piggies have as long a life with me as possible?
- Is my own fear of losing a beloved one and not being able to cope with their loss greater than any other consideration?
- Can I look after a piggy that is not having a smooth recovery and that may need longer term feeding and medicating support? Do I have the time, physical and mental strength for exhausting aftercare for weeks at home?
- Can I face the possibility that the operation could turn out to be just a very expensive form of euthanasia if things go badly haywire?
Tips for looking after your piggy before and after an operation: Tips For Post-operative Care
4 Helpful questions to ask yourself about terminal care
Sometimes we have the time to mull over how we want to proceed when we are looking at terminal care in as much comfort as possible as opposed to a rather risky operation but sometimes we are dealing with an emergency and have to make the decision between operation or euthanasia there and then. This chapter deals with the choice between terminal care or a make or break operation.
- Guinea pigs don't know that there is a choice; they just live their life as it comes. Would I rather not put my piggy through the stress and risk of an operation at the definite cost of a guaranteed shorter but life span with a familiar routine?
- Do I feel that quality of life is more important for my guinea pigs than quantity of life?
- Am I braced for the inevitable ups and downs in the daily form (especially towards the end) and the constant questioning of myself whether the day has come or not?
- Am I willing to concentrate on making the best of whatever remains of my piggy's life (whether that is just days, weeks or months) and to share their little joys over my own fears and ongoing grieving?
- Can I afford financially and emotionally a protracted illness with high medical support?
- Can I afford to take my piggy for euthanasia if the pain/discomfort is becoming too strong for any medication and I have to make the decision a little bit earlier, without having it taken out of my hands by a natural death or a rush to the vets for a mercy pts/euthanasia if death is not coming easily?
More information and advice on aspects of looking after a terminally ill guinea pig:
- A Practical and Sensitive Guide to Dying, Terminal Illness and Euthanasia in Guinea Pigs
- Caring for Older Piggies and Facing the End - A practical and supportive information collection
- All About Syringe Feeding and Medicating Guinea Pigs with Videos and Pictures
- Looking After Guinea Pigs With Limited or No Mobility
5 Euthanasia/pts vs make or break operation (on the spot or in hindsight)
This chapter is for all of you who have been faced with unenviable on the spot choice between a very dicey last chance at life or a merciful letting go. It is perfectly normal to experience strong feelings of doubt, failure or guilt in the wake of a loss, whichever way you have chosen; especially with a failed operation or recovery.
- Would I rather my piggy was free of any major discomfort without the stress and risk of a make or break operation if they are already in considerable pain and on high pain medication?
- Would I rather put my piggy's wellbeing before my own fear of loss in view of an absence of realistic recovery chances?
- Can I stand and do I want stand to see my piggy suffering despite high levels of pain medication just because I fear losing them?
- Have I tried my best to give my piggy all possible chances but they haven't worked out?
- Can I accept that I can only buy a chance at a successful outcome but I cannot buy the guarantee for success?
A Practical and Sensitive Guide to Dying, Terminal Illness and Euthanasia in Guinea Pigs
6 Coming to the conclusion that is right for you
Always listen to your heart of hearts, whether you have to make an on the spot decision or you have time to mull over it.
If you have the time, try to answer the questions in this guide so you know where you stand. Sleep over it and let your subconscious do its work, too. Then listen again to your heart of hearts but this time with hopefully a bit clearer mind at what is behind what you feel and try to take strength from what you stand for by knowing that you are doing or have chosen what is right for you and right for that special piggy of yours.
Whether you want to put all or money on the throw of dice and opt for a make-or-break operation to gain valuable lifetime in good health or whether you'd rather cash in the money and cherish every remaining day with your piggy with a special activity or little joy for both of you or whether you were forced to make the choice between ending any suffering altogether as the kindest option, there is no right or wrong with your own choice, as long as it is both right for you and for your piggy's interests and wellbeing.
The difficult part lies usually not so much in your choice but in making peace with your choice as there is no one right way, only your own way. And learning to trust in yourself, your feelings and moral instincts. It is however worth it because we grow and mature as humans with our challenges and not by never setting a foot wrong. Our roots grow deep in the dark so that the visible green foliage can become strong and can flourish.
7 Hindsight and the guilt mind trap
As humans, we are wired to reflect everything back onto ourselves. This is even greater when we suffer from anxiety or other mental health issues and struggle with having to be in control of everything at all times. The loss of a beloved one is implicitly a major loss of control, no matter that we cannot do anything about biology in the form of a much smaller body and much faster metabolism - that is the inevitable fact behind the much shorter life spans of our pets.
We all experience feelings of soul-searching, failure or guilt because we love and care. These feelings are not because we have actually made any wrong decisions or mistakes (we usually haven't, as much as our brain is trying to tell us differently) but they are in fact an expression of deeply we love and care. We wouldn't quite simply have these feelings if we didn't care.
Human Bereavement: Grieving, Processing and Support Links for Guinea Pig Owners and Their Children
If you have been able to answer the above questions in a positive value-affirming way (never mind what you have decided for), then please try to take strength from that because you have done your best and have not failed your beloved one in any way.
None of us can foresee the outcome; we all have to tread that maze blindfolded and can only work with the scant information available at the time. It is so much easier to climb down a tree from a branch than finding the unmarked correct branch when climbing up a tree. Try not to be too hard with yourself. If you can't, please seek help for yourself sooner rather than later and talk about it; the less it can fester the better for you but also the better for keeping/regaining all the happy memories of your special little one that has enriched your life so much.
8 Where to get support during the process and afterwards?
Our End of Life and Bereavement Section offers you ongoing community support during the whole time and for as long as needed to ask any questions you have - especially the 'little' ones that can trip you up so badly; to talk about your concerns, problems, feelings and pain.
We ask you kindly to just start one ongoing support thread and bookmark the link so we can keep all posts together. You won't have to repeat your story all the time and we can refresh our memory if needed and tailor our answers to exactly your personal situation straight away, no matter how long.
However, if you feel you are very much stuck in a pernicious mind loop or too paralysed with fear to make any decisions at all, please seek professional help, either with mental health or pet bereavement charities if you can access any. Depending on the country, you have to google.
Mental health and support resources
If you suffer from major mental health issues with trigger aspects, please stop reading NOW, alert a trusted person and let them take over from here!
There is no shame if you struggle with the thought of an impending loss, having to make or struggling with having had to make difficult end of life decisions.
Respecting your own limits is important – for both your piggy and yourself. It is in fact a sign of the depth of your enduring love if you put your piggy’s needs for a happy longer life or as gentle a journey to the Rainbow Bridge before your own inner turmoil and your fears of loss.
You can also call a mental health crisis line or a pet bereavement service of you feel that talking to somebody can help you during that difficult time.
Links to available services in the UK
- This link here gives you an overview of available services for the UK: SupportLine - Problems: Pet Bereavement: Advice, support and information
- The Blue Cross runs both an email service as well as free phone line manned by trained volunteers: Pet loss
Helpful links for the USA
- Humane Society US: Coping with the death of your pet
- Pet loss support page: Ten Tips on Coping with Pet Loss
I sincerely hope that this guide has been able to help you a little with finding your way through one of the most difficult of challenges you can face as a loving and committed pet owner.