I always had a feeling that Autumn would be the first to go as she had a squashed face and she was more sensitive to environment changes respiratory wise. However I always assumed it'd be that which would take her, so finding the large lump deeply embedded with all the other things happening was a shock.
Given her struggles in the 2+ years I've had her it's almost like I have done my grieving before her departure, and taken everyday as a bonus. It's mostly shock I think. Shock that it happened, shock of what's happened.
I've been out to the pigs and Blossom and Cyril seem ok, out munching on hay. I'll stick to my usual routine with them especially as Blossom is a very stressy skittish pig.
I've managed to bury Autumn in her snuggle sack under some forget-me-nots.