Naff Christmas Cracker jokes!

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Tommies Mam

Tommies Mam

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Well its nearly that time of year again folks (although I am celebrating it a day late) and one of the great traditions of Christmas is the crackers and the naff jokes they contain, so here'ssomewhere to share them.

Heres my contribution

How does Santa like his pizza?

Deep pan, Crisp and even (Deep and Crisp and even)

What do you call a snowflake that travels upwards?

Lost

What runs around Paris in a tupperware box?

The Lunch pack of Notra Dam
 
;D now they are funny

i can never remember them but they make me laugh
 
spudnik said:
never heard of it.. :-\
Click to expand...

You have got to be joking!

"Good King Wenceslas looked out on the feast of Stephen, where the snow lay all about, deep and crisp and even."

It's a luvly jolly Chrimbo tune - you've missed out!
 
hmm... i cant remeber knowing it.. ive prob heard it somewhere but it just doesnt ring a bell..
 
Knock knock...

Whose there...

Isabelle...

Isabelle who?...

Isabelle on me bike!

2funny

I'll get me coat... ;D
 
There is an alternative version as well

Good King Wenlas lasted looked out, out his bedroom window
Silly b****r soon fell out, in a heap of cinders
Brightly shone his a**e that night, though the frost cruel
When a poor man came in sight he said you "silly fooooooooeeell"
 
;D ;D ;D ;D

One we got

Why was the ghost no good at telling lies?


Because you could see right through him.
 
he he i know so lame?

i also had this one

why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

CUZ HE HAD NO BODY TO GO WITH
;D ;D ;D
 
OK, fess up...
Who's pulling crackers to get jokes. ;D ;D ;D ;D
 
i just found these on the worst cristmas cracker joke site

What do you call a man with a pole through his leg?
Rodney

Why would you invite a mushroom to a Christmas party?
He's a fun guy to be with.

Why was Santa's little helper feeling depressed?
He had low elf-esteem.

Who was England's first chiropodist?
William the Corncurer

Why should husbands make the early morning tea for their wives?
Because the Bible says He Brews

What's the longest word in the English language?
Smiles, because there is a "mile" between the first and the last letters.
 
What do you call a chicken in a shell suit?




Egg.
 
these have has me really giggling this morning, my kids have got a real sense of humour, as they giggled
 
i dont understand them, i understood the skeleton and elf one and they were funny ;D
 
2 flies on a wall ,which one's the bandit?

the one that heads for the border ::)
 
In the old cowboy films, if say the sheriff was chasing them they always head for the borders,as in the mexican border ;)
 
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