My sons teacher has lost the plot

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bevs

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I was gobsmacked today when my 8 year old came out of school, please don't think i'm weird Mummy he said, but I need a dress....

"What" I said? Apparently they are doing a class play and the teacher has cast him as Mother Nature :o and wants him to wear a white dress. I don't own any dresses he said to her, borrow one she said. I don't have any sisters he said, well your Mum will have to buy one she said.

I DON'T THINK SO

There have to be about 15 girls in his class so what the hell is she playing at? tomorrow i'm going in to tell her in no uncertain terms is my son wearing a frilly white dress, and before I go in to her i'm going to the deputy head.

I've had problems with her since September, re his uniform shoes etc, which are no different to what every other kid in the school wears, but this time she's gone to far.

What do you guys think?
 
she is bang out of order to expect you to fork out for a dress for your son! Its not like he'll ever wear it again !

If she wants him to be Mother Nature then she should provide the dress! Or use her head and get one of the girls to be it! (But she still shouldn't expect their mums to fork out for a white dress either!)
 
Thats disgraceful

Definately see the head and ffind out who the governors of the school are
 
There's nothing wrong with a boy having a girls role, especially if he wanted to play the part.

But having to go out of your way to buy an outfit for one occassion that will never be worn again is just plain silly.
 
No he didn't want to be Mother Nature and certainly doesn't want to wear a frilly white dress. It's not even about the money, it's about trying to make an 8 year old boy wear a dress, which is going to subect him to ridicule from the other children, for god knows how many years.

For example, when my eldest was around the same age he loved Sonic the hedgehog. My mum bought him a pair of Sonic trainers. The other kids laughed at him. His friends still remember and good naturedly rib him about it.... and he's nearly 18 :o

So i'm not going to subject him to that, and to force a boy to wear a dress, when there is 15 perfectly good girls in the class is just sick
 
I have the urge to argue that what is between a person's legs does not indicate their role in life and what they can and can't do - but you've said that your son doesn't want to do it, so his teacher is clearly behaving inappropriately.

No matter what sex the role is, he doesn't want to do it, so he shouldn't have to.

You should speak to her and give her a piece of your mind, methinks.
 
I totally agree no way would i make my son wear a dress for any play and if the teacher persists i would not send him to school either

sorry totally tio disgraceful to expect a boy to wear a dress when girls are already in the class
 
totally agree if he didn't want to do it then its a bit nasty of them to make him do it and as you say theres plenty of girls to do it instead, I cannot imagine my sons all 4 of them would ever wear a dress it would be cissy and they would be made fun of, Bev I agree you need to sort it out, sounds like we both need new head teachers at our kids schools my son and daughters head is a bitch yet the teachers are nice cant say the same about the idiot teacher who made her stand in the freezing cold a week after being seriously ill with asthma,
just asked hubby what he would say if one of our boys had come home and said same as your son and he predictably said what the hell are they playing at hes a boy for goodness sake ( language improved for your sakes ) :o men

Bev hows your older boy doing now? mines a pain still driving me nuts
 
Ooh I plan to LOL ;D No it's not what is between your legs, it's what is in your head, and if he was a little girl trapped in a boys body and felt comfortable in female clothing (and I truly believe that even at the age of 8 if that was how his genetics had made him then even at that tender age he would feel it) then that would be a different kettle of fish.

But he is a footie playing typical little boy, and finds the idea of wearing a dress quite horrific. And she had 15 odd girls to choose from, a few of them stunning little things, child model material, who would look gorgeous in a little frilly white dress. So why pick a boy?
 
That to me sounds like bullying. It also sounds like she is singling out an 8 year old who has no chance of standing up to an adult/teacher & getting himself heard & understood. Your poor boy, maybe you can compromise & call him Bredren Nature & get him kitted out in some camoflague gangsta gear!
 
LMAO he would love that ;D He said why cant I be Father Nature? But I seriously love that idea!
 
Go for it!  How can the school not go for that idea - Equal opps & all.  I recon your Bredren Nature would be an ace role model.  You could have Bredren Nature & Sister Nature.  I think I may start writing books about these 2 characters!
 
Does seem bizarre when he doesn't want the role.

I was cast as a tree once ;D ;D ;D
 
Boy some teachers just can't help themselves eh. I think that's a great idea being 'Father Nature' you can't make a kid do something like that he'll never get over it and as you said kids can be cruel to each other and do name calling.
Go tell them and be firm and don't back down, good on you for standing up for your boys rights.
Let us know how you go
 
No offense here, but I think you are completely jumping ahead into defensive mode.
I completely disagree with how you are speaking about, and complaining about the class teacher.

I am teacher training, and have worked in many schools during my placements. In one school they were doing a school production, and my class at the time (year 3... 7-8yr olds), were performing sleeping beauty.

12 'fairies' had to be cast...and amongst these castings, some boys were chosen.
It was in no way because I and the class teacher wanted to 'victimise' any child (as you are claiming this class teacher is doing!)....but casting was based on which children would perform...be more confident in acting, speaking out loud (if they had a bigger speaking role), which character etc they were best suited to.

The children were given the parts. At no point were the children 'MADE' to play the parts first allocated to them! That's impossible!
Of course, some children were not happy with the parts they were given....incidently, none of the 5 boys allocated 'fairy' parts. The girl given the part of sleeping beauty didn't want to play her, which was fine, so the role was allocated to another child. Simple. The child voiced their unhappiness, and the problem was solved.

As for the boy fairies.....at no point were they told they they HAD to wear a FRILLY dress (which I'm guessing the teacher in your case didn't say either!).
The boys, and girls were happy with their parts, as they got to make their own costumes. No....costumes DO NOT need to cost the earth! Some parents did wonderful jobs....very inventive and their outfits were just amazing!
Some boys came in tshirts and jogging bottoms, which had tinsel, lights and sparkly home made badges pinned to them, and they looked brilliant!

Some girls wore an old table cloth, stitched together, with arm and head holes, and some tinsel around the waist and decorations sewn on....and there you have brilliant fairy outfits!


Our production worked so well, as children, staff and parents all worked together.

A teachers job is to teach. To produce a production on top of everything else they have to do (and trust me, the day to day teaching and looking after 30+ children.....preparing lessons, planning, assessments, marking, meetings...the list goes on), is not easy......remember there are more than just your child in that class.
If your child is not happy, then he can go and tell his class teacher, or another member of staff, and then the teacher can make alterations to this role.

I don't see any problem with him playing that part (unless of course he is unhappy). From what I can see though is you are more unhappy at the prospect of him playing this role! Why?! You won't be helping his nerves! Why don't you try being more constructive in seeing why he doesn't want to play the role? If he thinks it is because he has to wear a dress, then tell him that isn't true. It sounds like he just has to wear something white....while overall....white trousers, tshirt?...how about the table cloth idea with some trousers underneath?! Be inventive! That's half of the fun! Involve him in designing his outfit, and let him help you make it!
 
Sorry, but it's not your son. If my son came home saying 'i told the teacher i didn't want to wear a dress and play mother nature but the teacher told me i had to' i'd be fuming. Yes teachers are there to teach, not force! Did you read the full first post? It says the kid mentioned mummy doesn't have a dress, to which he was told 'shell have to buy one'.
 
bev said:
"What" I said? Apparently they are doing a class play and the teacher has cast him as Mother Nature :o and wants him to wear a white dress. I don't own any dresses he said to her, borrow one she said. I don't have any sisters he said, well your Mum will have to buy one she said.
I've had problems with her since September, re his uniform shoes etc, which are no different to what every other kid in the school wears, but this time she's gone to far.
Click to expand...

Veronica said:
A teachers job is to teach. To produce a production on top of everything else they have to do (and trust me, the day to day teaching and looking after 30+ children.....preparing lessons, planning, assessments, marking, meetings...the list goes on), is not easy......remember there are more than just your child in that class.
If your child is not happy, then he can go and tell his class teacher, or another member of staff, and then the teacher can make alterations to this role.
Click to expand...

Teachers know what is involved before they take on the job, so i dont see how that can be thrown into the equation.
Plus i wouldn't give too hoots about the other kids, so long as my own was happy.

I think you're totally right bev.
 
I liked being in school plays most of the time but only when i wasn't forced to play something i didn't want to... I dont think a boy should play MOTHER nature anyways a girl would be much more suited! As for having to BUY a dress so he can wear it once is silly! I would talk to the teacher and complain, tell her what has happened and go from there... and sure teachers jobs aren't easy, i would hate to control (or try to lol) that many kids everyday but if they dont like it then why are they still working as a teacher?
 
While I totally disagree with the dressing a boy who doesn't want to up in a frilly dress...

Has your son actually told the teacher that he doesn't want to do it? As a teacher myself who wouldn't even think of doing what your son's teacher had would it not be an idea to let your son first of all tell her of his concerns rather than go in yourself all guns a-blazin'? Perhaps there were other boys cast in "girly" roles? All I know is that kids often embellish things when it comes to telling their parents (for often read ALMOST all the time) so please try and get to the bottom of this amicably.
 
And I think there's a vast difference between, 12 boys as fairies wearing jazzied up t shirts and jogging bottoms and 1 boy wearing a dress. In year 2's Xmas play he was an elf and wore tights, I certainly didn't complain then.

Already by home time there were little boys coming up and laughing at him... 'haha you've got to wear a dreessssss'..... and these were his friends.

Made...... right, he has told her he doesn't want the part, the scripts have already been printed with the childrens names on.

If it was one of my other sons, 1 that is 14 for example does act with a professional theatre company and also in school plays, and if he'd been cast in a part where he had to wear ladies clothing, he would jump at the part and would take it like the Little Britain "i'm a lady" character. I wouldn't have a prroblem with this, and he is old enough to deal with any name calling. He even said last night he would love to play a pantomime dame.

But at the end of the day he doesn't want to wear a dress, and yes it was a dress, not a tablecloth. So he's not going to. And no i'm not going in all guns a blazing
 
I often talk about my school days and I'm 45 and if your son at 8 is made to do this he could have this in his memory for years Bev, I am with you here why pick a boy in the first place and why a dress why not something more to a boys taste like camaflague as already suggested, you must get to the bottom of it, yes kids can exagerate thigns but a white dress for a boy of 8 is a little much he will be ridiculed for the rest of his school life, let us know how you got on at school, good luck be calm ;)
 
Bev, you are totally right to be upset by this. its either political correctness gone mad or that teacher really does have an axe to grind with Arun.
Kids are horrible and cruel and they will crucify him over this.
Arun is a BOY being asked, sorry told, to play a female role and wear a dress. Whichever way you look at it its wrong to ridicule an 8 year old child in this way.
 
I think much as teachers (not pointing fingers here) when doing a production have to see a class as a whole, and the individual child's needs comes later. I think that it is absolutely ridiculous that this boy has shown he is uncomfortable with the whole idea by saying that mum didn't have a dress etc - & with children you really have to read between the lines. In this case the teacher should have been alert to the thing she was asking of the boy and been ready and alert to him being uncomfortable.

If it were my child I would have been fuming. At school I was given a hard time (but not bullied) about the clothes I had to wear on a day to day basis because they weren't fashionable - as a result I absolutely HATED school. This teasing started when I was about 7 and this kind of stigma sticks. Even at the age of 28 people who i havent seen in years still say stuff like 'oooh those clothes you used to wear'. He may be a child but the chances are he won't get over the stick given to him for a long time. This isn't speculation its from experience.

I think the teacher should forget about 'her' production & have a f*****g heart.
 
I went in this morning, but she was on a training course, and there was a supply in, the deputy was busy but I shall see her this afternoon. I asked him "did you tell her you didn't want to do it" He said "no there was no point". I said "why?" he said " because when she handed out the scripts she said if anyone doesn't like the roles they've been given then it's just tough". While I could fully believe this of her, I thought i'd better check. So this morning I approached several random children from the class and asked what was said when the scripts were handed out. Every single one said the same thing.. it's tough if you don't like your part.

Several times she has caused waves over his uniform, so i've been to the deputy who has taken one look at him and said "what's wrong with his trousers shoes etc", other children in the class dress the same, no other child has been singled out over their uniform, in fact at the time he was more in uniform than they were because they had navy joggers with white stripes down the side, he had navy combat type trousers. ::)
 
And when you think about it, if I made him wear dresses at home, i'd have social services and the child protection unit knocking at my door, so why should school be any different.

Also it's an assembly, so the whole school will watch it from years 3 through to 6 :o
 
sounds as if that particular teacher is over the top with the kids was she warned before when the deputy said no problems with his uniform, I would have hoped the deputy said lay off of this lad to her, if all the other kids say the same story about it being tough then she really needs to answer some tough questions, I have now told my 2 still in school 3 have left now that if they are asked to do something they are not keen or sure about to ask us first,
you do need to protect your child from ridicle how can that be wrong in anyones eyes ,
 
I'm sorry, but what a totally rubbish teacher! I thought teachers were supposed to encourage and bring out a child's potential, not trample all over their wishes just to put on a stupid play! Whats the point in it if none of the kids enjoy it? Isn't drama supposed to be fun?

Do you think this teacher is picking on your son? It sounds as though she is - it happened to me at school and completely knocked my confidence. My mum still says she wishes she had gone and confronted this teacher but my younger brother was coming up through the same school and she didn't want to make things difficult for him...

Also what if she was in a school in a deprived area where a lot of families can't afford the uniform, never mind buying a frilly dress! Grrrr!
 
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