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Loss of piggy

jess496

Junior Guinea Pig
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Hi, I need Guinea pig owners to tell me of their similar experiences they've had, the reason why I'm posting on here is to find out more if I did anything wrong or what I should of done.
I recently lost my favourite Guinea pig, he was my world and I feel that I'm to blame for his death that I should of done more. I'm absolutely devastated by this and I can't deal with what's happened. I keep going over and over it. I was with him most of the time, I feel lost without him.
On Monday I took him to the vets for a runny nose & coughs because I was worried about respiratory infection but he had the runny nose the week before and I didn't do anything straight away because he's had runny noses before then recovered with no problem which I put it down to the hay dust that's why I wasn't hugely concerned especially he was eating & drinking fine even he was begging for pea flakes he seemed fine so the runny nose carried on so I was concerned if I left it too late so I booked appointment at the vets for Monday on the same day as I was terrified of losing him. When I got to the vets in the car park, I was early so I took him out for a cuddle while waiting and we noticed his back end that his nerves was thumping it seemed very strong so that worried me and when we went in, I told the vet what was wrong with him and I even told her about his nerves on his back end, she pulled a face thought that was strange but she didn't think it was anything to worry about, his lungs was clear despite having a cough, he didn't have a runny nose when vet checked (typical) and in the end she said he had swollen bum glands which I thought it was from my cleaning because his glands would get backed up so I had to clean them. I feel that she didn't investigate it further about his nerves going but his nerves wasn't going when the vet checked him.
I feel so awful that I didn't push for blood tests or a scan, I think I didn't want to stress him out. She gave him medicine called sulfatrim 0.45ml a day & metacam 3ml a day even though he didn't need it but she wanted to cover what illness he might have or might come. I can't help but think that he may of got worse with this medication but although his nerves happened before the vets so maybe not.
The problem is his runny nose & nerves did not show up when the vet was checking him but I still feel she should of known better that to investigate further because with Guinea pigs you can't be too careful as they go down hill quickly.
From Monday to Friday 2pm he was eating & drinking plus begging for pea flakes that he seemed fine, I was confident that the medication is making him better that he couldn't possibly get worse bearing in mind that I thought because the vet said it was his glands that was the issue so I wasn't overly worried that it takes time to heal but I did notice his glands didn't improve it was swollen it was difficult to clean it on Thursday as I left it for a few days to give it time to heal.
On Friday at 2pm his usual food time, he ate the food he seemed fine but about 6:30pm I took him out for more medicine which I wasn't 100% about giving him more as he seemed low that I thought maybe the meds was making him worse but I feel awful because he tried to reject it & I gave him some basil to get rid of the taste which he never had a problem with eating but strangely he seemed like he didn't want it but he only ate abit and I was concerned, I told mum about this and we tried his favourite pea flakes so he ate that then I thought he was fine if he managed to eat pea flakes so I put him back in his cage after this but he seemed low like he wanted to hide from me and I didn't want to disturb him too much by dragging him out but around 10pm they have extra veg for snacks so when I went to give him this in cage he just wouldn't eat it so I took him out put him on my bed and tried to encourage him to eat but he just wouldn't eat, mum thought he didn't want to eat because maybe he was full and that the medication made him not want to eat so I thought I would give him some time after the meds, stupidly.
I was cuddling him for a while in my room and he wasn't himself at all so I went downstairs with him nearly midnight to see mum & cuddling him on the sofa, all his nerves in most of his body was thumping it was worse this time and it upset me. At that point he wasn't comfortable on me so I put him on my lap, his nerves were really bad and we decided to put him in a box so that he had peace from his companion as his companion can be abit much so we were worried about this and for some reason I stupidly thought that if he had some rest that he will improve, I kept checking on him all night until about 5 I decided to get up for emergency vets as I noticed his breathing was fast I thought he was too hot so I took him downstairs and he lifted his head up looking around to see where he is and he seemed calm in his box on the table. I can't help but feel really awful that he wasn't taken to the vets asap but I did not think it was very serious for some reason and I don't know why I didn't, I'm just devastated.
When we finally got to the emergency vets, the vet said he was very poorly, he was having a fit on the table and the vet said he hasn't seen anything like it. I asked for scans to find out what is wrong with him but the vet said the scan wouldn't show anything because his tummy has swelled up so much that you won't able to see plus there wasn't a proper scan to see everything and that he was too far gone but I stupidly didn't want to give up on him that I allowed the two injections that I put him through more pain (poor boy) when he should of been put to sleep but at the time I wasn't thinking clearly & wished the vet & mum put their foot down that he should be put to sleep. The vet said that his lungs etc was fine, he thinks that it was something to do with his brain the way his nerves was going and was having fits because every thing else was fine in his body. He said that when his tummy organs was giving up that it was another illness somewhere causing him to be poorly.
I can't help but think if the vet on Monday investigated more about his nerves that this wouldn't of happened and especially his glands were swollen. I don't understand why his nerves started on his back end if it was his brain that was the issue.
I've read up on forums about people's experiences of guinea pig brain infection that they were caught early and cleared up with medication which I feel awful that this could of been avoided.
After he had the two injections, the vet said it would take 4 Hours for it to kick in so I took him home but about 10 mins on way back he was having a terrible fit and I took him back to have him put to sleep. He passed away in the car. I just feel awful with the way I handled this. The way he had suffered for hours, I cannot forgive myself.
All this started off with a runny nose the week before and this most likely could of been avoided.
 
I’m so sorry you have lost your lovely piggy. You sound like an amazing owner to me. After we lose a piggy it’s normal to think we could of done more. You had to make decisions based on what was happening at the time. You took your piggy to the vet. And even they couldn’t really find anything wrong. I lost a four month old piggy once. I took him to he vets and they gave me some cream to use. It didn’t work and they didn’t know what it was. We tried a different cream and then he passed away. I had the feeling I should of tried something else. But I’m not a vet and so we trust them. Please don’t blame yourself.
 
Be kind to yourself whilst you grieve, Guinea pigs are good at hiding illness until it’s too late, I spent nearly £500 on Thursday cuz my girl rose whom was 5 collapsed, I got her in the first week I had her and all checks were normal. The week after I had an X-ray done to find large masses on either side, I only had her not even two weeks, I had to make the hard decision based on the X-ray to have her laid to rest, devastated. It’s not your fault , we’ve all been in this situation and it’s hard, please remember the good times you had, thinking of you hugs 🤗
 
I’m so sorry you have lost your lovely piggy. You sound like an amazing owner to me. After we lose a piggy it’s normal to think we could of done more. You had to make decisions based on what was happening at the time. You took your piggy to the vet. And even they couldn’t really find anything wrong. I lost a four month old piggy once. I took him to he vets and they gave me some cream to use. It didn’t work and they didn’t know what it was. We tried a different cream and then he passed away. I had the feeling I should of tried something else. But I’m not a vet and so we trust them. Please don’t blame yourself.
Thankyou. I miss him so much already and I keep looking at his bed where he normally is.
I just feel awful because I look back and maybe I could of done more. Thinking back he wasn't himself even if he was eating fine but there were times he seemed spaced out until I touch him to see if he is ok then he would jump realise I'm there. I just hope he didn't suffer what might of been in his brain because realising now he wasn't a normal Guinea pig even though I thought he was brilliant because he was very laid back and was so lovely to everyone, never bit anyone but maybe he was like that because he wasn't very well. It could be brain tumor or maybe heat stroke because he loved his fleece bedding he wouldn't come out of it for hours which I thought he was just lazy as he was like this when he was younger but maybe it was building up with too much heat. He didn't make much noises either as most of the time he was very quiet and he wouldn't make any noises for food. I feel awful that he suffered terribly, he should of been taken to vets soon as he stopped eating but I don't understand why I didn't, I hate myself. Poor boy.
The thing with vets is that I don't feel that they do enough.
 
Be kind to yourself whilst you grieve, Guinea pigs are good at hiding illness until it’s too late, I spent nearly £500 on Thursday cuz my girl rose whom was 5 collapsed, I got her in the first week I had her and all checks were normal. The week after I had an X-ray done to find large masses on either side, I only had her not even two weeks, I had to make the hard decision based on the X-ray to have her laid to rest, devastated. It’s not your fault , we’ve all been in this situation and it’s hard, please remember the good times you had, thinking of you hugs 🤗
I'm not being kind to myself, I keep going over it and thinking back of the signs when he wasn't himself. He was my favourite Guinea pig even though we shouldn't have favourites but he was special. I'm going to miss him very much and before I come home I always look forward to seeing him, I even think about him when I haven't been gone long.
I was told scans wouldn't show up things if taken him to vets early.
I'm sorry about your Guinea pig.
I feel awful that he suffered until the end, he should of been put to sleep earlier but I don't know what I was thinking. I never thought he would suffer a terrible death and all I wanted to do was protect him but now I can't anymore. I would of taken his pain away if I could. I'm just sorry that he suffered because of my actions 😔.
 
I know , I’m sorry that you lost him the way you did but sometimes we just don’t know, your hurting very much and I did the same thing, going over and over but it doesn’t help, we cry, we blame ourselves, grieve gently, thinking of you
 
I know , I’m sorry that you lost him the way you did but sometimes we just don’t know, your hurting very much and I did the same thing, going over and over but it doesn’t help, we cry, we blame ourselves, grief gently, thinking of you
My girl rose, she must of suffered too as these masses don’t happen overnight, what if I’d got her sooner, what if the previous owners took her to the vets, which they never did, said she was healthy, at least I was able to give her cuddles and hay and veggies that she probably never had either, it will take time
 
I know , I’m sorry that you lost him the way you did but sometimes we just don’t know, your hurting very much and I did the same thing, going over and over but it doesn’t help, we cry, we blame ourselves, grieve gently, thinking of you
I should of took him to vets straight away because he suffered for hours, I was stupid & that's something I have to live with.
Thankyou for your replies.
 
So sorry for your loss.
You did everything possible but guilt is a normal part of grieving.
One thing you may find helpful is to write ‘ I forgive myself’ on a piece of paper every day.
Destroy it before you go to bed and repeat each day until the guilt eases.
The grieving process takes time, so allow the grief to work through.
Holding you in my heart ♥️
 
So sorry for your loss.
You did everything possible but guilt is a normal part of grieving.
One thing you may find helpful is to write ‘ I forgive myself’ on a piece of paper every day.
Destroy it before you go to bed and repeat each day until the guilt eases.
The grieving process takes time, so allow the grief to work through.
Holding you in my heart ♥️
Thanks. I don't feel I've done everything possible. I feel that I was too late and it could of been prevented if he was taken to the vets earlier but for some reason I didn't take him until it was too late.
 
Thanks. I don't feel I've done everything possible. I feel that I was too late and it could of been prevented if he was taken to the vets earlier but for some reason I didn't take him until it was too late.
That’s grief.
Be patient with yourself. Grief takes time and cannot be rushed.
We are here to support you.
 
I just had a thought. If you had helped them over the bridge straight away you would now be thinking you should of done more first. Please don’t blame yourself.
 
I just had a thought. If you had helped them over the bridge straight away you would now be thinking you should of done more first. Please don’t blame yourself.
When he wasn't eating after 6:30pm, I should of taken him to the vets straight away because it might of saved his life if I wasn't too late. I have a last video of him as I filmed him in case the vet wanted to see what I mean but when I watch this now, he looks uncomfortable with his tummy and I didnt do anything until hours later, it was obvious that he was in pain. I wished I didn't leave him the way he was. If the vet said they really couldn't do more for him but at least he would of been out of pain earlier and not suffered for hours because of my stupidity. I must of been in denial. There was obvious signs that he was not himself and looking back the things he did wasn't normal but he was eating and drinking fine. I just don't understand.
 
Please take this with the kindness intended.

It sounds as if this kind of grief is fairly new to you. You have already been given some solid advice: It is important to be kind to yourself through this, even if it's forced at first. All you did you did from a place of love and with the best knowledge you had at the time. That's all any of us can do.

Weepweeps is right - there is no winning. No matter what you did, you'd be picking holes in your approach. I've lost many pets to many reasons over the years, and not once have I found my approach satisfactory at the time.

Merab's Slave is right - that guilt and regret is part of grief. I've never lost a pet to illness and not felt guilty for something; usually different things, and no shortage of them.

Please try to take in the words of kindness you've received from others. If it's too soon today, please revisit them tomorrow, and then again as much as you need to until you're able to be truly kind to yourself. Try not to brush them off, as we've all been there ourselves and know the particular kind of grief experienced when you lose someone you are responsible for.

There are some resources you might find useful, linked below, but do be aware that certain pet charities also offer helplines to talk through grief.
A Practical and Sensitive Guide to Dying, Terminal Illness and Euthanasia in Guinea Pigs
Human Bereavement - Grieving, coping tips and support links for guinea pig owners and their children
(Apologies if linked before, am on my phone)
 
Please take this with the kindness intended.

It sounds as if this kind of grief is fairly new to you. You have already been given some solid advice: It is important to be kind to yourself through this, even if it's forced at first. All you did you did from a place of love and with the best knowledge you had at the time. That's all any of us can do.

Weepweeps is right - there is no winning. No matter what you did, you'd be picking holes in your approach. I've lost many pets to many reasons over the years, and not once have I found my approach satisfactory at the time.

Merab's Slave is right - that guilt and regret is part of grief. I've never lost a pet to illness and not felt guilty for something; usually different things, and no shortage of them.

Please try to take in the words of kindness you've received from others. If it's too soon today, please revisit them tomorrow, and then again as much as you need to until you're able to be truly kind to yourself. Try not to brush them off, as we've all been there ourselves and know the particular kind of grief experienced when you lose someone you are responsible for.

There are some resources you might find useful, linked below, but do be aware that certain pet charities also offer helplines to talk through grief.
A Practical and Sensitive Guide to Dying, Terminal Illness and Euthanasia in Guinea Pigs
Human Bereavement - Grieving, coping tips and support links for guinea pig owners and their children
(Apologies if linked before, am on my phone)
I've lost a guinea pig before him- his companion. I was devastated that I didn't pick up with what was wrong with him and I even walked past him when he was laying there poorly because I did not know. I said to myself that I would not allow this to happen again that I will make sure that I do not miss the signs but it has happened again.
I didn't know about this forum when his companion died and I glad that I posted on here because people have been supportive, it means alot and understanding where I'm coming from. I'm trying my best to not over think but it is very difficult.
I'm not lucky with animals when it comes to their end.
I have 3 Guinea pigs left and I will not have any more after them because it's too heartbreaking especially their illnesses are difficult to treat. I just hope that his companion now will be ok alone in cage, he seems stressed & thinks that he will come back as he looks around for him. He's the sort of guinea pig that needs security as he used to follow him every where and even sleep next to him while he was eating. He doesn't like being alone but I cannot keep going around in circles having more Guinea pigs.
Thankyou for your kind message. It helps to talk on here with people who understand how I'm feeling.
 
I've lost a guinea pig before him- his companion. I was devastated that I didn't pick up with what was wrong with him and I even walked past him when he was laying there poorly because I did not know. I said to myself that I would not allow this to happen again that I will make sure that I do not miss the signs but it has happened again.
I didn't know about this forum when his companion died and I glad that I posted on here because people have been supportive, it means alot and understanding where I'm coming from. I'm trying my best to not over think but it is very difficult.
I'm not lucky with animals when it comes to their end.
I have 3 Guinea pigs left and I will not have any more after them because it's too heartbreaking especially their illnesses are difficult to treat. I just hope that his companion now will be ok alone in cage, he seems stressed & thinks that he will come back as he looks around for him. He's the sort of guinea pig that needs security as he used to follow him every where and even sleep next to him while he was eating. He doesn't like being alone but I cannot keep going around in circles having more Guinea pigs.
Thankyou for your kind message. It helps to talk on here with people who understand how I'm feeling.
:hug:
 
I'm really sorry for your loss. You obviously loved your piggy and this is obviously a really difficult time. I agree with what others have said above... you have to be kind to yourself. This second-guessing is often part of grieving when we lose a pet we were responsible for, and I think in some cases it's actually a coping mechanism to help us deal with grief by displacing some of the sorrow into blame or anger, even if it's blame or anger we direct on ourselves. It's very possible that nothing you did or didn't go would have changed the outcome (I've had pigs who saw the vet within hours of seeming off who still passed that same day.) It's easy in hindsight to wish we had chosen differently, but in reality we are all doing the best we can with the info we have at the time and are not able to have the benefit of hindsight when making choices. And it's likely that no matter what you did or when, you would be second-guessing yourself right now because it's part of the nature of losing an animal that we love. ((HUGS)) and be kind to yourself and take the time to feel what you feel, even though it's painful.
 
I'm really sorry for your loss. You obviously loved your piggy and this is obviously a really difficult time. I agree with what others have said above... you have to be kind to yourself. This second-guessing is often part of grieving when we lose a pet we were responsible for, and I think in some cases it's actually a coping mechanism to help us deal with grief by displacing some of the sorrow into blame or anger, even if it's blame or anger we direct on ourselves. It's very possible that nothing you did or didn't go would have changed the outcome (I've had pigs who saw the vet within hours of seeming off who still passed that same day.) It's easy in hindsight to wish we had chosen differently, but in reality we are all doing the best we can with the info we have at the time and are not able to have the benefit of hindsight when making choices. And it's likely that no matter what you did or when, you would be second-guessing yourself right now because it's part of the nature of losing an animal that we love. ((HUGS)) and be kind to yourself and take the time to feel what you feel, even though it's painful.
Thankyou. He meant alot to me, he was special as there was something different about him. It's a reminder in my room that he's gone and it's difficult because I have be here for his companion so I try to be here most of the time for him even though I don't want to be here.
Thankyou for your long message x
 
Thankyou. He meant alot to me, he was special as there was something different about him. It's a reminder in my room that he's gone and it's difficult because I have be here for his companion so I try to be here most of the time for him even though I don't want to be here.
Thankyou for your long message x
((HUGS.)) I know it's hard. The pig in my avatar picture, Hadley, passed away last June and sometimes when pictures of her come up on my computer I use the cursor to pat her head. Everyone here definitely understands how hard it is to miss a special piggy. Hang in there.
 
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my lovely little Rosie two weeks ago under similar circumstances and it can be hard to deal with the trauma of watching the pet that you love in pain and the feelings of helplessness that you don't know how to help them. It's a very intense situation and the feelings that you should have known and could have done more are overwhelming but please know that you did everything that you could. Please don't punish yourself with what if's, be kind with yourself, you're not to blame for anything that happened. Your little boy was very lucky to have you as his owner, try and take comfort from the fact that you loved him and he had the life 💙
 
Hi, it's me again.
It's been over a week since I lost my boy Alfie the Guinea pig. Since the day he died, I have not stopped over thinking trying to understand why he died and I've been researching the symptoms he had to find out the answers. I even emailed exotic vet telling them his symptoms so I can try and move forward if I know what happened to him but she was useless, wouldn't give me an likely answer from his symptoms.
I wanted to ask people, do you think the antibiotics that the vet provided may have caused him to become ill? I'm trying to understand what happened to him, how he went down hill quickly. I can't help but think the medications that the vet gave him made him worse when he didn't actually need it.
I took him to the vets for a runny nose & coughs so he was given the clear but he did have swollen glands which I assume was from my cleaning but I'm not convinced it was that, I feel that was a sign of something wrong.
These are the questions I want answering-

Can Guinea pigs have a bloat because there is a issue else where in the body?.

Do Guinea pigs go into fits if they have a gas/bloat issue?

Is it normal for Guinea pigs belly to swell up when they die or does that show the Guinea pig suffered with bloat? (My first Guinea pig who died, his belly didn't swell up but Alfie's did.)

When he went to the vets on the Monday, he had rapid nerves on his back end before vet appointment but he seemed fine in himself was eating etc and I noticed that he started to seem low when he started the medication so I'm wondering if it was the medication that caused his death because he was fine before despite a runny nose & bit of coughs. I feel awful that I forced him to have it when he didn't want it which he probably knew the stuff wasn't good for him.

Saturday when he went to emergency vets, the vet seemed to think it was a neurological issue as he never seen anything like it before with the way he was fitting and obviously vet said he was full of gas.

Do you think his death was caused by bloat or neurological issue in his brain from these symptoms he had?.
I'm devastated that if it was a bloat I know now that I was too late and I could of took him to the vets straight away but I didn't, his life could of been saved and I hate myself when this could of been prevented.
 
Sorry for your loss.

I can't advise you medically, I would think only an autopsy would give a diffinitve answer.

Please take solace in the fact you have cared and done your best by seeking emergency veterinary treatment.
 
Hello jess496 I am so sorry you have lost your beloved Alfie. You are still grieving and part of that is the what if/ why and being hard on yourself. Try not to overthink what if …. you did what was right at the time and did your very best to save him. Piggies will hide an illness and you must not blame yourself.
He came into your life and gave you such joy, love and fulfilment. Remember the lovely times and all those wonderful memories. And … take care of yourself
 
Sorry for your loss.

I can't advise you medically, I would think only an autopsy would give a diffinitve answer.

Please take solace in the fact you have cared and done your best by seeking emergency veterinary treatment.
I'm starting to realise that it was likely the medication that may have killed him after reading the side effects and I'm devastated that I made him have it because he probably knew it wasn't good for him and I forced him to have it.
I cannot forgive myself.
I wished I didn't take him to the vets in the first place, they can make things worse and why would they give medication to a healthy Guinea pig baffles me.
 
Hello jess496 I am so sorry you have lost your beloved Alfie. You are still grieving and part of that is the what if/ why and being hard on yourself. Try not to overthink what if …. you did what was right at the time and did your very best to save him. Piggies will hide an illness and you must not blame yourself.
He came into your life and gave you such joy, love and fulfilment. Remember the lovely times and all those wonderful memories. And … take care of yourself
I think it was the medication that killed him after reading up on side effects, it sounds the same effects he had with it and I wish I didn't take him to the vets in the first place, they can do more harm than good. Usually they don't have a clue about Guinea pigs. Why give medication to a healthy Guinea pig.
 
I'm starting to realise that it was likely the medication that may have killed him after reading the side effects and I'm devastated that I made him have it because he probably knew it wasn't good for him and I forced him to have it.
I cannot forgive myself.
I wished I didn't take him to the vets in the first place, they can make things
You did nothing wrong.
 
I am so sorry that you are still feeling this way.

Unfortunately as guinea pigs can’t tell us or the vets how they are feeling or what is wrong, this does make it very difficult to identify what is going wrong in many cases. Even the most experienced of owners and the most experienced of vets are unable to identify at times what is going on. I know that I speak for many of us on here when I say that many of us have also unexpectedly lost piggies and been baffled and bewildered by it. It is a natural part of the grieving process to question everything you did or did not do, and then to question everything the vet did or did not do.

It is most unlikely that antibiotics would have caused your beloved pig to pass. It is most unlikely that anything you did or did not do caused your piggy to pass.

Please have a good read of the guide I am going to link for you here Human Bereavement - Grieving, coping tips and support links for guinea pig owners and their children. This guide helps to explain some of the emotions you are experiencing. You may well benefit from speaking to a bereavement counsellor about this loss - the Blue Cross provide this service Pet Bereavement

Please take time to be gentle with yourself as you process this grief.

And finally please could I ask you to stick to this one thread so that all information and advice is in the one place. This helps both us and you to see what has been said.
 
I am so sorry that you are still feeling this way.

Unfortunately as guinea pigs can’t tell us or the vets how they are feeling or what is wrong, this does make it very difficult to identify what is going wrong in many cases. Even the most experienced of owners and the most experienced of vets are unable to identify at times what is going on. I know that I speak for many of us on here when I say that many of us have also unexpectedly lost piggies and been baffled and bewildered by it. It is a natural part of the grieving process to question everything you did or did not do, and then to question everything the vet did or did not do.

It is most unlikely that antibiotics would have caused your beloved pig to pass. It is most unlikely that anything you did or did not do caused your piggy to pass.

Please have a good read of the guide I am going to link for you here Human Bereavement - Grieving, coping tips and support links for guinea pig owners and their children. This guide helps to explain some of the emotions you are experiencing. You may well benefit from speaking to a bereavement counsellor about this loss - the Blue Cross provide this service Pet Bereavement

Please take time to be gentle with yourself as you process this grief.

And finally please could I ask you to stick to this one thread so that all information and advice is in the one place. This helps both us and you to see what has been said.
Hi

I agree with @VickiA . It is very easy in your desperate need for answers to find a place to fixate on what is handy and not necessarily on whether that is the real culprit. Antibiotics are given to save lives because there is a health issue that can lead to death without the medication, first and foremost.

Please be aware that a fair share of the online cases that blame the death of their piggy on the antibiotic are in fact from people in your situation doing exactly the same thing and then others reading it; it has become over time a self-reinforcing thing.
When doing your research online, it will unfortunately give you a very misleading picture. For people with major bereavement and mental health issues, doing that kind of research is not at all helpful because they lack the framework to put it all into the proper perspective.
Antibiotics can cause loss of appetite and there can be occasionally a bad reaction to them but they do not usually kill in and of themselves. If they really did that, they would be actually quickly withdrawn for use in that species. Yet despite all the bad press especially from traumatised people, this has not happened - for a very good reason: because the negative side effects have been blown badly out of proportion. They only affect a very small number of piggies in view of the much, much larger number of prescriptions. What you never get when doing your online snooping is the vast number of unexceptional recoveries because they are not considered worth posting about. Without that corrective in mind, you can very easily arrive at a very wrong impression.

Please never make the mistake of letting a pet of yours die untreated because of erroneously believing that the cure is worse than the illness it is used against. Your own fears can be more fatal for your pet than any medication or operation. We have sadly seen that repeatedly on here over the years from people who have made the next step on the path you have taken; sometimes sadly leading to a very unnecessary and perfectly avoidable tragedy. :(

PLEASE seek trained help either via the free support platforms that the Blue Cross offers for bereaved pet owners or via a mental health support platform. What you are dealing with is a more extreme form that you should not try to tackle on your own because it won't lead you to a good place and won't do anything constructive for your piggy or yourself and any further pets in your life. When you get stuck on a particular hurdle, you'd better get help to get over it. ;)

Feelings of failure or guilt are par for the course at the onset of the grieving process (we all have them to some extent or other) as is the need for a definite answer. Unfortunately, the latter can only be answered by a prompt post mortem examination (and it may not always be conclusive). For the other, your fixation on the guilt/need to find an answer for what you have done wrong (you actually have NOT done anything wrong) and your inability to move on, there is support out there.
Any of our forum members who have ever made use of the free Blue Cross (UK animal charity) support services - often after much persuasion from us - has come back with the feedback that it has really helped them. Please do get help for yourself and don't keep floundering in a sea of self-recrimination and trying to fix the blame on something for the sheer sake of attaching blame.

Here is the link to the Blue Cross pet bereavement page with their various tailored services to suit your own needs best: Pet bereavement and pet loss

If you want to put your own experience into the appropriate perspective, you will hopefull find our grieving guide with lots of very practical advice and tips helpful: Human Bereavement: Grieving, Coping and Support Links for Guinea Pig Owners and Their Children
 
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