I accidentally killed our girl and I'm completely lost in my thoughts

Razi1258

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At the start I would like to say that I actually don't know why I'm writing this or what I want to achieve here, probably just need to vent. Also sorry if grammar will be bad, english is not my native language.

Our kids (6 and 4 then) came up at some point of autumn in 2023 with the idea, that they would like to have some pet of their own, besides our dog Annie. Me and my wife werent initially thrilled of the idea to have another pet (had a bearded dragon Eddie that passed away of old age in 2023), because we thought Annie is enough. Our kids insisted though and we yielded.

Coincidentally our friends had baby piggies at January of 2024. We agreed that we would take two females, so they wouldnt suffer from loneliness if we only took one. At some point in February we brought two baby piggies to our home and our kids named them Lizzie (Líza) and Furry (Chloupinka). They were a bit shy at the start but got accustomed to us and they grew on us (which I'll be honest about, never thought would happen to me). I would often sit on the couch with them, chilling while Lizzie would lick my hands that were petting her (either grooming me or licking the salt from me, I'll never know). My son would draw these comic stories about hem etc..

On last sunday, our baby girl piggy Lizzie died because of my stupidity and recklessness though. We came back from our weekend trip while my mother was looking after Annie, Lizzie and Furry. It was sunny and warm sunday around 20°C so I thought, I'd take the cage outside so girls could get some fresh air. In my sheer stupidity and laziness I thought I'd make it faster if I put the piggies on my shoulders (as I have done many times before, but everytime while securing them with my hands) and took the upper part of the cage to carry it outside.

In a flick of a moment both Lizzie and Furry slipped and fell from my shoulders, I tried to slow them down by leaning backwards and offer them my thighs to land on. It slowed them down but they fell from them further down on the floor. I immediately put the cage away and took both of them in my hands to carry them, I said I'm so sorry to them many times, I went to the living room to put girls on the ground so I could carry the cage outside, but then I noticed Lizzie would just lean on her side, weakly squeeking. I thought maybe she one of her legs, immediately picking her up gently and started to check for nearest Vet that would be available on sunday (there was none in our region).

Then I felt how Lizzie's body suddenly went incredibly limpy, like ragdoll. She released one last sad, weak squeek and that was it, she was no more. We laid her on a towel on our bed (I still hoped she was maybe just unconciouss and would wake up later, sadly it didn't happen). She was becoming colder and stiffer with time.

After the incident has happened, I needed to go and tell my son (whom she "belonged" to. Furry "belongs" to my daughter) and daughter. When I told him, he seemed to handle it well, telling me not to worry, because he saw I was a wreck. But the realization and feelings hit him later that evening. He cried that he doesn't want Lizzie to die. Wanted to get rid of anything that reminded him of her on next day, all his drawings and so on.

We buried her later on that sunday next to Eddie under a nice tree in our garden. Kids made some drawings for her on stones that we put on her grave and laid pebbles on her grave.

Seeing how our son is sad and realizing that Furry is still way too young, being 1 year old, to be left alone, we got another young female piggy that our son named Aya (Ája). We are slowly trying to accustom her to our home and to Furry. They have separate cages for now, was in separate rooms on first two days, now moved next to each other in their cages and we are letting them meet up in living room while we are there in case something goes wrong. They seem to go nicely along so far.

I still feel like for ending Lizzie's being, taking Furry's sister away from her, making my son, daughter and wife sad.

After writing all that, I'm still not sure what I wanted to say or get out of me. Probably just that I'm sorry for her life being cut so short because of me and that she was the sweetest little thing. To the Lizzie: "I hope you are in better place now where nothing can hurt you no more. Sorry baby girl, you were the bestest piggy I could wish for."

Thanks to anyone reading part of this or even all down to this and sorry for probably untintelligible rambling.

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Althought the circumstances you lost Lizzie under are tragic you didn't intentionally kill her as your title says, you clearly adored her and I am certain that you have learnt from the mistake Lizzie I'm sure is watching over her sister 💗🙏
 
Oh I’m so so sorry that you have lost Lizzie 😞 but it was a tragic accident and you shouldn’t blame yourself

If it helps you, a few years ago my guinea pigs were free roaming in the hallway and I fell unconscious and fell down the stairs landing on Emma and instantly killing her 😞

For a long time, I blamed myself but now I understand more that it was a tragic accident and the people of this forum helped me to realise that

You’ll never get over it but I promise you that the pain and guilt you feel now will ease in time and you’ll come to realise that it wasn’t your fault

(((Hugs))) be gentle with yourself why you grieve x
 
Thanks to both of you for your kind words. It just feels at this moment I let them all down, Lizzie, Furry, my son and daughter (although they didnt say anything to blame me, I wouldnt hold it against them tho).

Also I'm sorry for what happened to Emma, hope you were ok atleast physically after the fall.
 
It is only natural to feel like this and I'm sure we all would. Perhaps you could write a letter to Lizzie it might help, you could then maybe bury it close to where she is or put it at the bottom of a plant pot and buy a lovely plant to go on top of it as the paper composts the plant will absorb it. Also try to think if it had been your children who had accidentally caused this would you blame them? No, you would know it was a tragic accident this might help you to come to terms in time with it.
We never really 'get over ' losing loved ones but we can try to honour their life by loving others as we love them that way Lizzie becomes part of their lives too 💗
I hope this comes across to you in the way it is meant to not sure it has but we are all here for you 💐
 
HI and welcome

BIG HUGS

It is never easy to get over fatal or crippling incidents but yours was not intentional; please keep that in mind. It was a honest mistake.

You can never go back and undo what has happened but what counts is how you go forward because what you learn now you can use constructively in the future to prevent other deaths and similar mistakes. This is also how you grow as a human - we grow with our challenges and mistakes and how we deal with them.

I have my own box of eternal regrets reaching back nearly half a century. It is my hidden drive and motivation. Over the last 16 years on this forum I have been able to help so many piggies and their owners in their thousands or even tens of thousands thanks to my hard learned lessons and insights that the positive legacy by far outweighs the number of my mistakes.
However, this doesn't take away from the pain of those piggies which I have failed by not knowing, by making the wrong decision or because I couldn't help due to circumstances. They all have a special forever space in my heart and they keep reminding me that I can still continue to strive to do even better.

Please try to be kind with yourself and try to take comfort in that Lizzie died nearly instantly and didn't suffer long.
Yes, you have made a fatal mistake but you have choices about how to go from there. Try to focus on those choices while you grieve for Lizzie. There is no doubt about how deeply you love and care; use that love to pull yourself forward instead of down.

You may find these two guides here helpful:
Human Bereavement: Grieving, Processing and Support Links for Guinea Pig Owners and Their Children

Pet Death: How To Tell The Children? (Tips and Resources)

Here is our guide on how to best trasnport piggies (sorry, the first video doesn't work any more but the rest and other pictures still do)
How To Pick Up And Weigh Your Guinea Pigs Safely (videos)

Here is more information on sows dominance behaviour as they establish a new hierarchical and territorial group in the two ca. 2 weeks after their introduction.
Sows: Behaviour and female health problems (including mounting and ovarian cysts)
 
Welcome to the forum, I'm sorry it's in such sad circumstances. Please try not to blame yourself. We can tell by your post that you loved your little lady. Try to take heart that they live in the moment and a life of happy todays is precious to them.
 
It is very difficult, but you have to forgive yourself. The lesson is truly learned, and one day it will be time to move on. You cannot stay in regret and become afraid of the future. But give yourself time to heal. I think your story has brought a tear to most people's eyes. Wishing you healing 🙏
 
I am very sorry this happened. Guilt can be a terrible punishment but it was an accident. Don't be too hard on yourself. I would save your sons drawings of her and just put them away for now.
 
I am very sorry this happened. Guilt can be a terrible punishment but it was an accident. Don't be too hard on yourself. I would save your sons drawings of her and just put them away for now.
Thank you. Yes, we convinced him to keep the drawings so he can have them as keepsake and memory of Lizzie when (and if) it wont make him sad anymore.
 
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