Having a dreadful year so far :-(

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oh wow i didnt expect to hear you say that, well all i can say is well done for putting yourself first, and may 2011 be the year for you, good luck girl, and you know we will all help you on here as much as we can


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Just wanted to say good luck, if you need to talk/vent/scream we are all here for you

Deb
xx
 
Best of luck with sorting this all out, I'm very glad it looks as though there can be an amicable split as this is always best for everyone. Best of luck with the CAB as well, they are very helpful but can overwhelm you with information so take your time to decide what it is exactly you want from your life right now and get the priorities right. Hugs from all my piggies and me, Sarah
 
Sorry to hear this is all happening, all i can say is try to stay positive x

And go give your piggies a cuddle, i find a piggie cuddle always makes me feel a bit better!
 
So sorry to hear your news, on a practical note go over to Money Saving Expert, there is loads of practical advice on there in realtion to finances and the forum offers excellent advice and support.
 
I've not been on here for a few days.
I'm really sorry for your upset xx
If it helps any my ex finance split up with me in March 2008 at just before midnight (the slimey toad waited until I'd finished decorating the house grrr)
He told me that he loved me but like a sister (he forgot to mention at that point that he'd been sh*****g his co-worker for the past 3 months) he made my life hell as soon as he knew I wouldn't go from the house with out a fight (I have 2 kids to look after) he was so horrible and made my life hell, dragged my name through the mud and I hadn't done anything wrong anyways after a few weeks of living in the same house (with me wanting to severly damage him daily) I received a solicitors letter stating that me and my children (not our children my children, even they names were spelt wrong) had 28 days to vacate his property otherwise we'd be physically removed and taken to court.
I moved out and took as much as I could and then when I found out he'd been two timing me I took my solicitors advise to take him to the cleaners.
He offered me a couple of hundred quid to go quietly and after over a year of arguing with me and making my life crap he ended up with a solicitors bill of £18,500 (silly boy) he totally deserved what came to him.
If he'd have been more grown up about the situation instead of treating it like a game everything would have been sorted within months and he'd have been a damn site richer.
I hope everything works out the way you want it too xx
I think you should do whats best for yourself and sod anyone else.
 
Wow guinea wiggles what a terrible time you've had but good on you for sticking through it all x

Katie i was really happy to read your really positive post from yesterday, good on you girl. I know emotions go up and down, I've split with my partner of 3 years - amicably as it just wasn't right but we still spend alot of time together and it's hard sometimes but I feel so much more empowered now i'm independant again.
Lots of piggie love Alyson x>>
 
PiggiePal said:
Wow guinea wiggles what a terrible time you've had but good on you for sticking through it all x

Katie i was really happy to read your really positive post from yesterday, good on you girl. I know emotions go up and down, I've split with my partner of 3 years - amicably as it just wasn't right but we still spend alot of time together and it's hard sometimes but I feel so much more empowered now i'm independant again.
Lots of piggie love Alyson x>>
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I have great family and friends and if you have those I think you can just about cope with anything x
It was the best thing he could have ever done for me, I regained my confidence & independance, went back to college, remembered who I was and where I came from.
Me and my girls are a 100% happier than we ever were and to top it all off he can't hold down a relationship for more than a few months due to his wandering eyes, I came out on top.
Best of luck to you Katie x
 
Blimey Guinea wiggles you've really been through it!
Glad to hear you've come out the other side in a happy place.
Everyones story's make me realise my situation isn't that bad.
I think I've been ok! Things are strangely amicable between us at the moment. In many ways it feels like nothing has changed, we sleep at opposite times in the week any way as he works nights so it's not like I'm finding it really strange, him not being there. I think him working nights now has made the spilt easier in a way.
I'm feeling a little low today, feeling rough, didn't get any sleep last night. I've never felt so ill in my life, I was in bed (making a plan in my head, as you do when you can't get to sleep!) freezing cold when I suddenly had stomach pains and had to rush to the bathroom. It was like I suddenly boiled, I was sweating, really bad sickness and diarrhea and actually looked green! It was horrible, I passed out in the bathroom.
What with this last night and my eye turning red the night before and the kitchen ceiling falling in because of a leak in the bathroom, I looked a right sorry state this morning with my unwashed hair, green complexion and red eye!
So I went to the doctors and just burst into tears! Wasn't expecting that at all but he was so lovely and said he would sign me off sick for a couple of weeks if I wanted and that it was just a burst blood vessel in my eye and either a bug or stress making me ill and that my blood pressure is rather high. His recommendation was, call the landlady about the ceiling, go and get professional help to sort my finances out, go home to bed and try and get some sleep. If I find I'm not coping or still feeling ill next week to come back and he'll sign me off.
Also got up at 6am (on my day off) to take Mike (ex OH) to the hospital, he's not been well at all, he's lost so much weight and had continual cold / flu like symptoms for weeks so the doctor ordered a blood test and chest x-ray. He passed out last time he had a blood test I knew he was really worried so offered to take him.
I think we've both concluded we were prehaps only ever meant to be best friends. He's even offered to help me finish building the new guinea pig cage on sunday which we were in the middle of building when we split up!

On the financial side I've contacted CCCS (thanks Pebble aka Cheryl) and am in the process of applying for a Debt Relief Order. They've been fantastic, really supportive, carring and helpful. It's feeling less daunting now but I can't begin to relax until it's all finalised.
The biggest dilema I'm having at the moment which I really hope you guys can help me with is this...
I have 5 boars, a pair and 3 singles due to fighting. The three singles are all 2 years old and booked in for neutering on Tuesday. The intention was to get them all girlfriends. I want to do the right thing for them obviously and me but I don't know what that is right now.
I know I can't get them girlfriends at the moment. I need to be sure I can cover the cost of looking after three more mouths and until my finances are sorted and I'm used to sticking to a tighter budget without credit cards I don't feel confident committing to this. The problem is I was going to use the credit card to pay for the neutering. If I was to go ahead I would be using that card knowing full well that I can't pay it back and that doesn't feel very right to me. On the other hand if I don't do it now it's going to take me longer to save up to do it in the future and that's money I could be putting aside for vet bills if one of them get ill. Mike has promised he will always help me if they get ill as they are his responsibility as well but this wouldn't extend to any new additions which is fair enough.

If there's anyone still reading what's rapidly becoming my therapy diary! I really need some guidance on what to do as I'm not thinking very straight. Thank you x
 
oh my goodness lol!

Breath!

I cant give you any advice at all hon, but i just wanted to say i dont know you but I'm proud of you, taking it all in your stride, even though you feel crappy and the roof and all that malarky, well done you.

Take really good care of yourself because you only get one you x>>

ps/ how nice that you have a gp that is interested in your health x
 
Hi, How you feeling today?:)
I can't really advise on financial issues as I'm a bit rubbish with money lol.
All I can say is wow I think you're coping brilliantly, unless you've been there in that position no ones knows what it's like, I think you're doing great.
It's nice that you have a caring doctor who understands you, I think that will help you a lot xx
It's also good that you and your ex are being quite amicable and the shift work has come in quite handy for you as I'm sure it eases things a little.
As for money issues, I have to have stuff on my cards to furnish my new house as I wouldn't let my girls suffer, so I've ended up paying double for my stuff. I think in your heart you'll know what to do (you need to do what's best for yourself).
Keep your chin up chick, you'll get there (as a stronger person too), I wish you all the best x.
 
Katie, I've just read the length of this thread and wanted to send you all my love and healing thoughts your way. It might not always feel like it but you're doing amazingly well and you should be incredibly proud of your remarkable bravery and being positive and practical. I wanted to also just share with you an inspirational quotation because you are a star and I hope you can take something away from this by Marianne Williams. Lots of Love, Kate x

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.â€
 
Hi Katie, sorry to hear you've been so ill. I Hope that th time off work helps you get your head and blood pressure sorted. Deep breathing and exercise when you feel better.
As for the pigs, how much is neutering for 3 pigs? I kinda feel like at the moment it may be another stress to add to your head to be honest. Perhaps you should cancel for now. I'm sure your piggies are fine on their own at the moment as they have been for a while anyway. I think money wise and the thought of you worrying about the ops and any after care they need it's probably better to leave it?
Only you can make the decision though. You wont be failing your boys if you don't do it x x x
 
I'm not sure about the piggies and neutering, but just wanted to say what a horrible way to start the year, but so glad things are starting to seem brighter now x
 
Hi Katie. I agree with Piggiepal. The extra expense of the operations isn't necessary atm. Your boys are very loved and have the other piggies around them. There is no rush to have them neutered as you're only doing that for them to have ladyfriends and that's 3 more mouths to feed etc, etc. Concentrate on yourself and give and receive lots of piggie snuggles. They'll be time later to sort the boys.
You're doing great, kid. xx>>>
 
Your doing amazingly well. Just wanted to say I hope you feel better soon you poor thing. Sending you loads of positive vibes and hugs xxxxxxx
 
Thank you all. I've made a decision about the neutering, finally! lol
I have cancelled their appointments. I realised that I can't cope with the stress and worry of potentially loosing one or more of them. Our vet is brilliant and has never lost a pig through neutering but I know there's the risk and I think it would be tempting fate and risk bad karma for the boys by using the card knowing I can't ever pay for it.
Also the after care, trying to give any AB on my own would be too much. I can do George and Gerry but Hector's pretty wild, he's definitely a two person job.
If I lost one of them it would just finish me off at the moment.
My best friend also had a very good point... although I know I can't afford to feed 3 more mouths right now I'll be still very tempted and I'd only have to fall in love with another piggy and the budget will go out the window. If they're not neutered I can't succumb to temptation before I'm ready.
I realised I don't even have to neuter them all at once, this can be done very gradually, I was only getting them all done at once so it was just one day that I would be worried rather than three. Purely selfish to reduce my worrying but actually they can have much more of my attention if their done one at a time.
Feeling much better now I've made a decision.

Just waiting for a call today to see if I've been accepted for a new basic bank account. All DRO paperwork has been done so it's just a waiting game now.

Thanks again for all your well wishes and support.
It's really helping me have people to chat to. I have only told my best friend so far so apart from Mike, Me, her and you lot no one else knows. Need to be a bit stronger for that.
 
Glad that you seem to have sorted a fair few things out, as a debt adviser I'm glad to see that you have gone through a not for profit agency to get help and I really hope the Debt Relief Order brings you the fresh new start you need. I hope all is going well with you
 
Ah thanks for thinking of me guys that means a lot to me. I've had such a s**t day at work that I burst into tears which is not like me so it was really nice to come home and see your posts. Well the good news is I've got my new bank account set up and got confirmation that my Debt Relief Order has gone through yesterday. (thanks again to Pebbles for putting me on to CCCS they've been fantastic)
The bad news is he's still here and doesn't move out for another 2 weeks. I'd been doing really well up until a couple of weeks ago and it's all got a bit much for me. I'm really struggling to keep up the smile at work, I had a good chat with my colleague today and we both agreed you need to be 100% to be able to do our job and I'm just not ,so when someone did something stupid and I had to sort it out then they had a go at me it was too much and I went and hid and burst into to tears. So unlike me! Then I got really cross that I'd let the old cow make me cry!
Thank goodness I've got good friends and the piggies for a cuddle when I get home. I did have to laugh when Gerry bit the ex on the leg very very close to a very sensitive area! I said jokingly anyone would think I've been training him! lol Luckily he saw the funny side of it as well.
 
Haha! Don't worry about crying at work, I've done it before! Was having a crap day, a customer got to me, I went out back into the shed to cry, but then my colleague came in and gave me a cuddle! Think he knew something was wrong. Glad we made your day a little better :)
 
I agree about the crying at work thing. As much as I'm ashamed to admit it, I have been doing it a lot lately :red Luckily I work nights so I can easily go and hide but still. Good news about the bank account xx
 
Oh dear it makes my stomach drop when I hear things like this :( I really feel sorry for you. But I don't know what suggest you could do but I hope something good happens to you soon.chin up.
 
A glass (or two !) of wine and a good old chat (only 2 hours!) on the phone to my friend last night cheered me up. Ok I cried at her but it helped. Much more positive today.
Can't wait to see her at the end of March, the last time I saw her was October 2009!
 
Seriously, the job market's absolutely rough out there. Kudos to you for trying to make it work!
 
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