Guinea Pig Confessional

Betsy

Betsy

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Miss Bramble told me this morning that she thought it would be a good idea to have a Guinea Pig Confessional to confess all the things that guinea pigs have done that their Slaves didn't like and that they (the piggies) have been told off for.

She is going to start with her confession:-

Dear Piggies in Forumland

While I was having my morning groom today with "the dreaded comb of agony" I nipped my Slave. Slave had almost finished and there weren't even any tangles left in my fur but I'd had enough! And I nipped her. It wasn't a hard nip and only a gentle one but I still got told off. Immediately she said "No, no biting" and lifted my chin up just briefly. Then she put the comb down and lifted my chin up higher for even longer. Well after that I wouldn't look at her, I knew I'd done wrong but I just couldn't help myself.

It very unfair. After all I didn't bite her, I only nipped her. There is a BIG difference, in my opinion anyway.

The moral of this story is if you don't want to be told off, don't nip your Slave.

Your friend in a crisis

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward.
 
This is a great idea ….well done Miss Bramble for starting it 🥰
I think the forum piggies will hopefully take your advice

Dear Piggies in Forumland
I think I'm a very good boy ….i never nip I just freeze when having my nails clipped , I eat everything , and I come out of my hidey when my slave calls - I’m hoping to get a new friend soon after my best friend Bobby went to RB
Love and wheeks
Geoff
 
Dear piggies in Forum land. My name is Iris and I have developed the most amazing welcome for my slave. I chatter my teeth loudly at her to tell her how pleased I am that she is coming to rearrange my cage, to fill up my hay tray and to bring my veggies. I chatter even more loudly if she is slightly late in doing any of these things. She very rudely calls me a rattlesnake. I have no idea why my buddy Venetia doesn’t join in with the tooth chattering. I think we could make a really good noise to welcome the slave if she joined in, too. Love Iris x
 
Dear Piggies in Forumland,
My name is Fuzz,
I am letting the man hooman stroke me under my chin when he comes up to the side of the cage. As soon as the lady puts her hand in to stroke me I run away and hide. The lady is not happy, she tells me off and says it's not fair, she's the one who does all the hard work with us. I think it's sooo funny, I could keep this up for years!
Much love to all,
Fuzz.
 
Dear piggies in forumland,
I live next to an unruly chap, I like him but he's a bit immature for his age. I like to shove my hay tray away from the divider then eat his hay through the bars. I have also found many ways of disposing of my bodily waste, either on my neighboars side or down the back of the cage.
Other than that I am practically perfect in every way.....
Rumbles,
Dignified Sir George
 
Hello Piggy friends, it's Spice here.

Soon after I first came to live here the Human took us out of the cage and said we could run around and explore the whole room. Well Toffee was in his element, he zoomed around and seemed to be having a lovely time. However I was a bit scared of all that space so I went and hid underneath something called a bookcase where it was nice and dark and cosy. and I was delighted to find a cable thingy under there that the Human had left for me to play with. Or so I thought... Apparently she had forgotten it was there and I wasn't actually meant to chew it in half... Well, how was I to know? She told me I was a naughty girl, and I was a bit afraid she would send me back to the Rescue, but she was laughing when she said it so I don't think she was very cross. And these days she's always telling me what a good girl I am so I think she's forgiven me :inn:

Spice x
 
Dear Forum Friends,
My hay is in a cardboard box which my fussy housekeeper likes to be neat and tidy in the corner of my cage. I like my box to be on an angle in the middle of the cage most days, some days I like to push it across the cage in front of the water bottle. The housekeeper moans and groans at me, 'with the box there the hay gets stuck in the fleece, why can't you leave it on the bath mat?'. Red you are blocking your water bottle, you silly boy'. I mean what? If I want water I can push the box out of the way, just because I'm a bit wobbly on my old legs doesn't make me senile and unable to work out I need to move the box! What else has she got to do but brush hay off a fleece, I mean I pay her enough in poop fertiliser for the garden. Some hoomans don't know when they are well off.
Love from Red.
 
Dear Forum Friends,
We haven’t been here long enough to have anything to confess - yet.
Our new slave just tells we’re not normal guinea pigs because we don’t wheek for food and like to hide.
We thought we write a special piggy absolution for you all:

To all piggies who have confessed here. You are behaving just as piggies should. I am proud of you and there is nothing to forgive.
The Creator of All Piggies
 
Merab said:
Dear Forum Friends,
We haven’t been here long enough to have anything to confess - yet.
Our new slave just tells we’re not normal guinea pigs because we don’t wheek for food and like to hide.
We thought we write a special piggy absolution for you all:

To all piggies who have confessed here. You are behaving just as piggies should. I am proud of you and there is nothing to forgive.
The Creator of All Piggies
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Dear Piggies,
Don't worry, you'll soon feel more comfortable and then you'll be more "normal".
We agree, that's why we didn't confess - we're behaving exactly as we should. And our hoomans actually like it when we're cheeky, because it shows that we feel safe and happy to do so.
Ophelia and Bianca
 
LondonLady said:
Hello Piggy friends, it's Spice here.

Soon after I first came to live here the Human took us out of the cage and said we could run around and explore the whole room. Well Toffee was in his element, he zoomed around and seemed to be having a lovely time. However I was a bit scared of all that space so I went and hid underneath something called a bookcase where it was nice and dark and cosy. and I was delighted to find a cable thingy under there that the Human had left for me to play with. Or so I thought... Apparently she had forgotten it was there and I wasn't actually meant to chew it in half... Well, how was I to know? She told me I was a naughty girl, and I was a bit afraid she would send me back to the Rescue, but she was laughing when she said it so I don't think she was very cross. And these days she's always telling me what a good girl I am so I think she's forgiven me :inn:

Spice x
Click to expand...
Dear Spice,

Your hooman would not send you back to the rescue, don't worry! You are very lucky that your hooman is on here, so you found a good one :luv:
 
Hello Forum Friends, Willow (aka the sassy queen) here!

When my human slave gives us our veggies I always take mine and hide it, then I go and find my husband and steal his. I feel he is getting fat so it is my duty to prevent obesity and eat his veggies on his behalf. Well my human slave seems to disagree and has now started taking me out of my cage and giving my husband a head start. So to show my disapproval I have been saving my poop and during snuggle time I'm turning myself into a poop conveyor belt and covering my human slave in as much poop as possible. No regrets!

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Hi co-conspirators
Truffle nibbles and nips and I (Polo) kick. Truffle says he just nibbles a bit, but not hard, when he gets restless, but it is playful (sort of). My strategy is better I think. But I feel really bad every time I do it, but I do it every time, if you know what I mean. My devoted slave goes ouch 😳 every time but still does not have the sense to put her plastic gloves on before she catches me rather than after. She looks at the scratches to check that I have drawn blood (well just a tiny bit) and then carries on gathering up the cotton wool etc for bath time and health checks. I'm not a licky kind of chap (although Truffle has given if a try a couple of times and then returned to nibbling (aka nipping) but perhaps if I was I could make amends. My slave still adores me though. Shamefully yours, Polo and Truffle.
 

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Hello brave Forum friends, sharing your confessions takes a lot of guts, So I too shall share mine. I also am a.. *gulp*.. a Biter.
I just cannot help myself at nail trim time, if I can’t reach the slaves fingers I attack the nail clippers. But I get so frustrated that I even take it out on my own toes.
I hang my head in shame at this, My slave tells me I’m very naughty..and that I’m the angry beaver. So avoids doing my nails as much a possible..which is my plan. But I guess I feel a little bit bad, sometimes. But not often. It’s just who I am!
Yours sincerely, Henry.
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Wren, Here..I’d also like to make a confession. I’m so small that I can go undetected at sneaking into the pellet bag if the silly human slave has left it out during floortime. I did get caught the other day and promptly poked on the bum to remove myself. Something about ‘too many isn’t good for me’ blah blah blah I say!
Anyway, I must confess as apparently it was naughty!
Yours sincerely, Wren.
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Hello piggie friends
Panko here (of course) I have a new trick that I have been practising for the past few months, we get our dinner at 5pm but if our slave dares to come near the cage between 3:30pm - 5pm I teeth chatter at her and Pringle and then start chasing Pringle round the cage in the hope she will feed me earlier to stop me from bullying my brother! It only sometimes works, she says I need to learn to be patient but I say I want veggies!

Panko
 
We have a confession to make. We fight our human so much at claw trimming time that she has to rope in a helper. Sometimes even two pairs of human hands are not enough to keep us still. She tells us it would be over quicker if we did sit still but we'd rather it didn't happen at all thank you very much.
Our human usually forgives us if we do bite her, especially when we do the teatime dance around our Palace.
Much love to all the forum piggies,
Fifi Fluffybottom & Pippa Shortstocking
 
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Me Kongo has a confession to make. This is me with the slaves dad. I love to cuddle up in grandslaves arms when he comes to visit me. But if my slave ever tries to hold me like this I get a tantrum and bites. Then I pee.
I'm also a demolition-pig and nothing stops me. If I want to get out of my cage I do get out of my cage. I'm obsessed with bell peppers and have snuck in to the neighbours cage to steel bellpeppers multiple times. With my life at the risk I would say. Slave has put up very tight zipties now. So I'm quite busy at the moment, they didnt eat all of the peppers right away this evening like I do...

Sincerely, your biggest boy Kongo
 
How to scare your slave part two:

Make sure you go back to laying down in the exact spot and position your slave left you in before work eight hours ago when you hear them come home. Do not get up to greet them. They will think you are terribly ill. You may get up for treats. How could you resist.

Stripe
 
Ramia said:
Dear Pigs,

Be ungovernable! When it's time for health check, kick and scratch your slave! Don't be a nerd like Stripe who likes to be held and checked over. Don't be a lap pig. Be a wild child like me. Raucous pigs unite!

Chesney
Click to expand...
Our hoomans know that we don’t like being picked up, yet they do for things like that! We should create a hooman confession thread instead.
 
Dear pigs,

A confession from the rainbow bridge. Yeah, kind of spooky but after all this day is called "Allhelgona" in Sweden and you do celebrate your passed loved ones and their souls. So, from two brothers from the same mother...

Pikachu didnt breakout like Kongo. We dont know how he did it, because he didnt force the fence never ever or did when we saw. He was a slick little one that always got out from the playarea and I guess he's pretty satisfied we seriously dont know how he did it.
He was a very social smart pig. He just felt who needed a bit of a Pikachu and just jumped up in their knee parking his bumm there. No shame, and people just loved him. And gave him cuddles and treats, perfect plan!
He got some kind of hormone strikes ever 3-4 months that went on for a couple of days where he rumble strutted and wanted to make babys with Chip. He sounded like a motorboat 24/7. Didnt stop with age...

Bob was a real adrenalinejunkie and loved houses with windows. Perfect to stick your nose in to mess with Joe!
When he didnt get good fast enough he started to move his furniture around in wild protests. Bob just couldnt be quiet when he was in the move, so a deaf person could here him drag things around.
And if the slave wanted to bath, trim nails, clean ears or pockets - scream! When at the vets and they take you to the back room - screaaaam to the grade your slave thinks its a sad bird. And when she realises its just a angry birdie-Bob she gets a bit embarrassed because the whole vet-station laughs.

From Bob and Pikachu, the most beautiful brothers 🌈

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Pikachu

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Bob
 
My fellow troublemakers,

I need to confess that I'm the bar biter number one. This behaviour has been a bit better now that I live with Joe, but sometimes I just cant resist to make everyone crazy. No does not exist in my world. I just love to bite the bars between me and Kongo. He gets so annoyed at me, facing me, digs with his front paw and shaking his head like a little pony. That just triggers me. And when slave tells me no I just move away a bit and continues. I just want to tell everyone I'm here, I'm Chip and I might be the smallest pup but I'm just precious.
I'm also a nose licker. I just jump my slaves face and licks her nose and sometimes I really get a feeling and takes a big bite. If she tries to move me I get annoyed and crawls back like a frog.

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She just has to love me, after all I'm her babyboy.
 
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