Pigoles
Junior Guinea Pig
Thank you for your really kind responses.
I have been hugely struggling since Melvin was PTS ... so desperately tearful. I keep thinking over the decisions made ... I feel so full of regret and loss ... that my panicked decisions when I realised he was so underweight and unable to eat meant I trusted our local vet to operate when I should have researched more.
Afterwards I was so confused, with the conflict of the vet's advice on pain relief and what I read here ... I just didn't know what to do ... I didn't know what/who was right. I am haunted that when I spoke to the Northampton vet on Monday morning that Melvin seemed to be stable on syringe feeding and we discussed seeing how he went over the next few days ... I should have just taken him then and there ...
Only hours after, he refused two syringe feeds, wriggling so strongly I couldn't hold him in position to get anything into him at all. I read about refusal of syringe feeding and feared that he was dying. I spoke with my SIL (his owner) about wishing Melvin not to suffer. I was so worried and upset overnight witnessing the distress of his friend Bella, as she was so constantly trying to mount/dominate him that I had to add a partition to their run. That night I was up for hours trying to feed Melvin and trying to reassure/comfort Bella ... after 5 days of 24 hour care, I was totally exhausted. I sat beside their run at 3.30am and wept and wept at the sight of my hunched poorly piggie and his frantically running squeaking friend, after all my reading and efforts to care from them as best I possibly could over the preceding 5 months, I felt I had totally failed them both ...
In the early morning, with my mother holding Melvin, I managed to get 15mls into him. He also began to drink once again from his water bottle when I held it to his mouth (he had refused before). But when I weighed him he had dropped 15g overnight, and 2.5 hours later he refused syringe feeding again (only taking 3 mls), and his owner, my SIL, arrived to see him refusing the syringe feed. She told me not to continue if Melvin didn't want to eat and she rang the vet ... she said it was best to act quickly. Internally I was screaming "Please ... no, no!" ... but he was her piggie.
But the questions haunt me ... if the vet had given more pain relief, would he have eaten? Should I have waited and not agreed to let the local vet operate? Would he have survived a week until the Northampton vet was back from his holidays? Should I have tried to get an appt to take him as an emergency on the Monday after his dental op to the Northampton vet? But SIL was reluctant for me to take him to Northampton (after already paying for the local vet's GA dental op), and wouldn't have been able to travel there herself for any repeat appts. I am unwell myself, receiving treatment for a mental health condition and due to go into hospital for a stay of several months soon ... when this happens the piggies were due to return to my SIL's care once again, so their long-term care was her decision. But I'm left feeling like I took his life when there was a chance he could have recovered ... I'd grown to love his cheeky character so much ... and that's such an awful thought to endure.
I have been hugely struggling since Melvin was PTS ... so desperately tearful. I keep thinking over the decisions made ... I feel so full of regret and loss ... that my panicked decisions when I realised he was so underweight and unable to eat meant I trusted our local vet to operate when I should have researched more.
Afterwards I was so confused, with the conflict of the vet's advice on pain relief and what I read here ... I just didn't know what to do ... I didn't know what/who was right. I am haunted that when I spoke to the Northampton vet on Monday morning that Melvin seemed to be stable on syringe feeding and we discussed seeing how he went over the next few days ... I should have just taken him then and there ...
Only hours after, he refused two syringe feeds, wriggling so strongly I couldn't hold him in position to get anything into him at all. I read about refusal of syringe feeding and feared that he was dying. I spoke with my SIL (his owner) about wishing Melvin not to suffer. I was so worried and upset overnight witnessing the distress of his friend Bella, as she was so constantly trying to mount/dominate him that I had to add a partition to their run. That night I was up for hours trying to feed Melvin and trying to reassure/comfort Bella ... after 5 days of 24 hour care, I was totally exhausted. I sat beside their run at 3.30am and wept and wept at the sight of my hunched poorly piggie and his frantically running squeaking friend, after all my reading and efforts to care from them as best I possibly could over the preceding 5 months, I felt I had totally failed them both ...
In the early morning, with my mother holding Melvin, I managed to get 15mls into him. He also began to drink once again from his water bottle when I held it to his mouth (he had refused before). But when I weighed him he had dropped 15g overnight, and 2.5 hours later he refused syringe feeding again (only taking 3 mls), and his owner, my SIL, arrived to see him refusing the syringe feed. She told me not to continue if Melvin didn't want to eat and she rang the vet ... she said it was best to act quickly. Internally I was screaming "Please ... no, no!" ... but he was her piggie.
But the questions haunt me ... if the vet had given more pain relief, would he have eaten? Should I have waited and not agreed to let the local vet operate? Would he have survived a week until the Northampton vet was back from his holidays? Should I have tried to get an appt to take him as an emergency on the Monday after his dental op to the Northampton vet? But SIL was reluctant for me to take him to Northampton (after already paying for the local vet's GA dental op), and wouldn't have been able to travel there herself for any repeat appts. I am unwell myself, receiving treatment for a mental health condition and due to go into hospital for a stay of several months soon ... when this happens the piggies were due to return to my SIL's care once again, so their long-term care was her decision. But I'm left feeling like I took his life when there was a chance he could have recovered ... I'd grown to love his cheeky character so much ... and that's such an awful thought to endure.
