Delectable Dave's lonely hearts column

fluffysal said:
Handsome Taz is a good candidate for Boars Galore 🍒
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Strangely enough, the hooman said the doctor asked if Taz had been neutered as he has more "down there" than she expected! The hooman explained that he had come from a reputable rescue and there's been no sign of little Taz's over the last year or so. The doctor put it down to scar tissue. I'm not sure what standard of boars the doctor sees as she commented on how clean Taz is down there, I myself am a very clean boar.

I think the hooman needs her own space for her "one in the pot" obsession - from what I hear, she has some of the late Marley with everything on display.
 
Hello Kongo. Wow, I thought I was heavy at 1340g but you definitely sound like you could be the heaviest forum pig :nod: You do look like a very manly boar. Taz is lighter than me at only 1250g (Oldie sow Mags weighs as much as he does!).

I can empathize on not knowing how to socialise. In my case, it was with sows. In my first meeting with the scary oldies, I was very fear aggressive and didn't respond well to the stress of reading the signals. I've had to learn through watching my neighbours.

It sounds like your neighbour Joe has had a tough time but it's good that he's started to improve. The anaesthetic really knocked Taz about when he had his teeth burred last month. Hopefully Joe won't have to have any more dental work and will get his weight up to a more reasonable 1400g or so.

I agree, hay is not a snack. I mean, the hooman has to hand feed me strands of hay for it to be palatable - my favourite treat currently is warm Critical Care but the hooman is withholding it :yikes:
 
I write this as a nearly married boar. Yep, it's really happened. I have not one but two glorious ladies that I could touch (if only they would let me). I don't know yet if I'm going to like being followed by a nose trying to sniff my bottom or forced awake while I'm trying to catch up on some sleep but I'm happier than I've been for a while.

The hooman said I need to be honest about the bonding process. I sat at Coseley Rescue in the bonding pen frozen from the stress of travel, well with the occasional movement of my whiskers to be precise. This was despite having Audrey's niece in with me. The hooman decided that based on the fact that Cass (her new name) was totally fine with me, we could take her home. It was then the oldies turn. They couldn't choose between two sows, so the hooman picked Mel and we all came home.

Normally after travelling I would stay stressed for probably 48 hours, but with Cass to impress, I've had to show my best side. She's rather feisty, and like her aunt, has a lot to say and I mean a lot.

Things next door were not going so well. Jazz was stalking Mel and Mags was chattering her teeth at Mel despite Mel showing no aggression. When the oldies then tag teamed to try and pincer Mel between them, the hooman had enough. A new bonding pen was set up and Mel joined Cass and I. Obviously, I'm over the moon about having Mel too. Now I just need one of them to let me do "my thing" so we can be properly married...........
 
Claire W said:
Woops, sorry, I hadn’t seen the bit about Cass, you’re such a lucky boy Dave having not one but two new wives 🥰
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Thanks, we are getting along well. Mel and Cass have taken over from the late Lexi as chief wheekers every time a bag rustles. So far the hoomans have asked if we really want to eat pasta or frozen vegetables but the ladies were successful in getting us alternatives in the form of pellets and dry forage food :yahoo:
 
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