Was it wrong to give him this?

[Casarca1]

Hello,

I am not sure if this is the right place to post this.

I am realy in a bad place. I am worried that I am the reason that my guineapig got sick and died, I gave him 1 day a very little piece of green been, the second day another very small bit and the third a small half. He was normal before this.
His 3 girls got it to. He became realy stick, in the next days. Pumping breathing. 2 weeks antibiotica and a gasbelly. That became better after realy intense care. But later he was broughtt to sleep by the vet because 3 very big lymfes and short of breath. The beans I gave were not bio and now I realy doubt, did I wash them good enough?I have given so much care to my other pig with a healthissue and became tired. Before I did not give them ever because I was not sure it was ok to feed them.
I saw her the green been were ok, but now I regret giving it to him.

I see online there very toxic with pesticides.... I never gave them before....

It is on a not give list mostly online. Or bio. A lot I give them is bio. But not these. Why did I take this risk?
The girls a still good...

 

[Wiebke]

Hello,

I am not sure if this is the right place to post this.

I am realy in a bad place. I am worried that I am the reason that my guineapig got sick and died, I gave him 1 day a very little piece of green been, the second day another very small bit and the third a small half. He was normal before this.
His 3 girls got it to. He became realy stick, in the next days. Pumping breathing. 2 weeks antibiotica and a gasbelly. That became better after realy intense care. But later he was broughtt to sleep by the vet because 3 very big lymfes and short of breath. The beans I gave were not bio and now I realy doubt, did I wash them good enough?I have given so much care to my other pig with a healthissue and became tired. Before I did not give them ever because I was not sure it was ok to feed them.
I saw her the green been were ok, but now I regret giving it to him.

I see online there very toxic with pesticides.... I never gave them before....

It is on a not give list mostly online. Or bio. A lot I give them is bio. But not these. Why did I take this risk?
The girls a still good...

Hi and welcome

BIG HUGS

I am very sorry for your obviously traumatic loss.

Intense soul searching and strong feelings of guilt are unfortunately characteristic for the onset of the grieving process because we humans are wired to reflect everything back onto ourselves. These intense feelings are not an expression of you having done something wrong (you haven't!) but of how deeply you love - they are the other side of the same coin we call love and responsibility. You would not experience them if you didn't care about those you give your heart to in the first place.

Sadly, sometimes, this pernicious mind loop can truly trap you in some weird place when you try to desperately find answers where are basically none. No, a one-off bit of non-organic green bean doesn't cause lymphoma or I would have long have lost the majority of my own piggies over the last decade or so... Cancer can be caused by various routes and many are sadly not necessarily obvious or preventable ones.

You can quite simply never choose what your piggies ultimately die from. If it is not one thing, it can very easily be something else really nasty coming totally out of blue from another unforeseeable and unpreventable direction.
But then, that is not what pet ownership is about. Guinea pigs don't have a concept for an average life span; what they measure their lives by is happy todays in good care. As long as you give them those, you are not failing them.

Pets we only ever have on a loan that can be cancelled any time. But as long as we make our time with them count and fill it with love, we are ahead of the game. You have clearly done this, or you wouldn't be experiencing what you currently are.

Please take the time to read our practical and helpful grieving guide link, which will serve to put things into a bit more of a perspective and help you to brace a bit more for the less expected parts of your journey through your loss. This is usually not quite as simple or straightforward as you'd expect; especially with a more traumatic passing.
The guide also contains practical tips for what you can do for yourself and resources for finding help if needed.

Thread 'Human Bereavement: Grieving, Processing and Support Links for Guinea Pig Owners and Their Children'

Jun 29, 2019

1 The grieving process
- Loss and the start of the grieving process
- Grieving with a terminally ill guinea pig
- Going through the grieving process
2 Ways of coping
- Expressing and processing your feelings
- Regaining your guinea pig
- Burial and marking the passing
- Dealing with special days
3 How do I tell my children?
- Finding local support lines and charities...

• Wiebke
• Replies: 4
• Forum: End of Life and Bereavement Support Corner

• 

PS: I am moving this thread to our Bereavement Support Corner for better ongoing community support. We are here for you and any concerns of yours as long as you need.

 

[Casarca1]

Hello Wiebke,

Thank you for your kind words, I feel your support and appreciate it very much . I am glad to hear that the beens where not harmfull. I am overthinking every step and discover a new problem every time.

I have saved my other guineapig. She has a heartcondition and medicines. I had a lot of work to get her where she now is. It was a lot off stress, gasbelly, stoneremoval, caring for her a great amount of time.

But because of that I was less good for the other pigs in my own opinion. I worked so hard to fix it all. The girl was finally in a good place and then my boy became ill. I did not know how to act so I gave my all. I have been out of bed for feeding a lot of months: 3 guineapigs, 1 girl saved, 2 boys lost.

But because of her illness and the broken nights and the sorrows I became a little crazy. I felt like I did everything wrong.
Which hay, which vegetables, wich palletes are the best?
How much, vitamin c yes or no? Calcium, etc.
Beside this troubles I had a lot to deal with in my life personally. It was and is hard...
Somebody told me I did to much and that is a bad thing. I think there is a truth in that to. I sometimes paniked.... It was more than I could manage at certain times. I felt very alone in this.

I will go to the Bereavement Support Corner.

Hi and welcome

BIG HUGS

I am very sorry for your obviously traumatic loss.

Intense soul searching and strong feelings of guilt are unfortunately characteristic for the onset of the grieving process because we humans are wired to reflect everything back onto ourselves. These intense feelings are not an expression of you having done something wrong (you haven't!) but of how deeply you love - they are the other side of the same coin we call love and responsibility. You would not experience them if you didn't care about those you give your heart to in the first place.

Sadly, sometimes, this pernicious mind loop can truly trap you in some weird place when you try to desperately find answers where are basically none. No, a one-off bit of non-organic green bean doesn't cause lymphoma or I would have long have lost the majority of my own piggies over the last decade or so... Cancer can be caused by various routes and many are sadly not necessarily obvious or preventable ones.

You can quite simply never choose what your piggies ultimately die from. If it is not one thing, it can very easily be something else really nasty coming totally out of blue from another unforeseeable and unpreventable direction.
But then, that is not what pet ownership is about. Guinea pigs don't have a concept for an average life span; what they measure their lives by is happy todays in good care. As long as you give them those, you are not failing them.

Pets we only ever have on a loan that can be cancelled any time. But as long as we make our time with them count and fill it with love, we are ahead of the game. You have clearly done this, or you wouldn't be experiencing what you currently are.

Please take the time to read our practical and helpful grieving guide link, which will serve to put things into a bit more of a perspective and help you to brace a bit more for the less expected parts of your journey through your loss. This is usually not quite as simple or straightforward as you'd expect; especially with a more traumatic passing.
The guide also contains practical tips for what you can do for yourself and resources for finding help if needed.

Thread 'Human Bereavement: Grieving, Processing and Support Links for Guinea Pig Owners and Their Children'

Jun 29, 2019

1 The grieving process
- Loss and the start of the grieving process
- Grieving with a terminally ill guinea pig
- Going through the grieving process
2 Ways of coping
- Expressing and processing your feelings
- Regaining your guinea pig
- Burial and marking the passing
- Dealing with special days
3 How do I tell my children?
- Finding local support lines and charities...

• Wiebke
• Replies: 4
• Forum: End of Life and Bereavement Support Corner

• 

PS: I am moving this thread to our Bereavement Support Corner for better ongoing community support. We are here for you and any concerns of yours as long as you need.

 

[Wiebke]

Hello Wiebke,

Thank you for your kind words, I feel your support and appreciate it very much . I am glad to hear that the beens where not harmfull. I am overthinking every step and discover a new problem every time.

I have saved my other guineapig. She has a heartcondition and medicines. I had a lot of work to get her where she now is. It was a lot off stress, gasbelly, stoneremoval, caring for her a great amount of time.

But because of that I was less good for the other pigs in my own opinion. I worked so hard to fix it all. The girl was finally in a good place and then my boy became ill. I did not know how to act so I gave my all. I have been out of bed for feeding a lot of months: 3 guineapigs, 1 girl saved, 2 boys lost.

But because of her illness and the broken nights and the sorrows I became a little crazy. I felt like I did everything wrong.
Which hay, which vegetables, wich palletes are the best?
How much, vitamin c yes or no? Calcium, etc.
Beside this troubles I had a lot to deal with in my life personally. It was and is hard...
Somebody told me I did to much and that is a bad thing. I think there is a truth in that to. I sometimes paniked.... It was more than I could manage at certain times. I felt very alone in this.

I will go to the Bereavement Support Corner.

Your thread is already in this section now.

I am very sorry for the very tough time you have had and when you have given support well above your own physical and mental reserves as well as putting too high expectations on yourself. If you can, please seek pet bereavement or mental health support and make sure that you rest yourself as much as possible. You need time to recover and heal yourself. This has to be your priority now. You have given your all and done frankly too much.

We quite simply cannot protect and save every being in our care; we are not God; all we can do is try our best and try not to set our bar too high from the start so we can only ever fail.
For any longer term care that goes past a few nights, we also need to find a sustainable sustainable sleep/life/care balance to provide it - that includes vital longer sleep breaks for ourselves. Shorter nights but with 6 hour lumps for our own sleep.
The first rule of caring is to look after the carer (i.e. yourself) and make sure that you are able to keep going because when you no longer can - who else does? This can mean hard but very necessary choices. The primary carer (you) needs to be respected as a resource that needs careful managing and protecting if you want to keep functioning for longer. It is always a very tough lesson.

Please accept that you have not failed your boys. If your good care would have been all that was needed, your boys would have made it. Unfortunately, the other factors in play were not in your control and stronger than anything you could do, including being terminal conditions - and no, you really haven't caused the lymphoma.

Would you be able to find something suitable for your own more professional mental health/bereavement support in the Netherlands via this link here, which I found by googling?

 

[Merab]

So sorry for your loss.
Be gentle with yourself as you grieve