USING MY EDUCATION TO GET BACK AT MY DAD

[lilgalnatalie]

Not only did i have rumours spread about me saying i was havin sex and other sexual stuff and she took the kids side!, and she brought the police round 2 my dads door just for going over a teachers house (that he didn't know worked there) but now she sending letter 2 my mum who i dont speak 2 and is trying 2 get custody of me. saying i been slipping in my grades, and ive been taking out of a high gsce paper.
this is really unfair.
how can i learn in lesssons when all people want to do is mess around?
i cant remeber the last time i actually heard the teacher in history,
the teacher cant control the class in science or english
and maths, well, i been off 3 weeks with a broken toe, and we learn a new thing each lesson.
i think i have an excuse.

my dad is raging mad, and i been told off 4 slacking.
my dad and my yearhead dont get along.
but i cant believe she's using my education to get back at him.

she is so evil. there goes all my plans for the future.... :'(

 

[Glynis]

Oh natnat i don't know how to help you i'm too far away, but you need to chat to someone, can you speak to someone from here that's closer and can help you?
You so need a good friend and you know that we're all here for you but i do think a personal chat just might cheer you up more, take care love thinking of you :-* :-*

 

[hils78]

Blimey Nat - ok for starters there are lots of sensible ( ;D) adults who come on here who can give you advice & lots of Cyber hugs.
Next thing, who is it who's spreading the lies? is it other kids from your school?

I don't know what went on between your dad & mum but obviously it isn't nice. I've been there too honey & can appreciate what an impact it has on your daily life. My dad is the nicest bloke in the world but when he flips you duck & hide. He plays all sorts of mind games without even thinking about what effect it has on others (I appreciate that this is my dad & not my mum).

So what I think might be happening is - your dad will be pretty angry with your mum at the moment & will need to vent a bit - this is probably why you got a telling off. Try & forget it & concentrate on being friendly with your dad because by the sound of it he's stood by you.
Your mum - well > ! as a mother myself, if I messed up so bad & my daughter went to live with her dad I would feel like I had failed as a 'woman', & a parent. Its grown up stuff all this woman talk but you seen sensilble enough to understand It seems that you're mum is doing some desperate things to get back at your dad or/and get you back with her. What you need to do - if it is your dad you want to live with, is continue having a strong steady bond with your dad so that you can talk with him easily & live in a calm 'normal' environment.

Obviously I don't know the inns & outs of everything & what I'm writing could be utter rubbish but hopefully it will give you something to think about.

I do think that you could do with a person who none of your family knows to confide in. Like a school nurse or someone like that. I know its difficult with these sorts of people but I do think that having someone who isn't attatched to your mum or dad totalk things through with would be a good idea. I'm going to see my friend tonight who works with kids from broken homes, if you want me to I can ask her advice & she'll probably give me some numbers you could call. These numbers don't show up on the phone bill by the way - so dad wouldn't find out if you did want to call someone up for a chat.

Anyway Nat there are lots of people here to listen, if you feel like screaming do it here!

Good luck hun,

Hils x

 

[tawny]

it hard to help you nat without really knowing you and with all being so far away, my heart goes out to you. being a teenager is hard enough without all the other stuff that is going on in your life.

are you able to sit and talk to your dad and make him realise how you feel? if your feeling like this you need to talk to someone starting with your dad. there is help out there but i would imagine your dad needs to be involved if he is your main carer.

there will be someone in the school to talk to, is there a teacher you like? your doctor maybe.

don't bottle stuff up.

i understand what you mean about not being able to learn in classes because of lack of control etc, my son feels the same with some of his lessons but I've been able to talk to the teachers.

wish i could help but nat stay open minded and always talk out your problems with someone you trust. your future will sort it's self, whats important now is you having a childhood and being happy

i know it's hard not to be involved in what goes on between your mam and dad ,i don't know what has gone on but nat they are both your parents and both love you very deeply but it must be a very hard situation for you.

i split from my husband 6 years ago and he doesn't talk to me and i dread the day he tryes to turn my son against me. there is always two sides to every story.we all do things we shouldn't and make mistakes and some times people do get hurt but don't judge people by their mistakes and if possible give a second chance.

your dad has stood by you, don't know what your mum has done but nat if you love her and are just angry at her for hurting your dad give her a chance to explain.

all this might be a bit to deep : i'm just worried your taking sides and missing out on the love of both parents and that they are putting you in the middle without realising how much you are hurting.

my sons dad will have nothing to do with me, probably hates me but all that matters to me is my son having a relationship with both his parents, don't expect him to take sides and i will never bad mouth his dad or let him do it.

my son is autistic and suffers anxiety and depression, so that's why nat i know how important it is to talk and be open, i've seen the damage it can do.

i can't change my past or put right the wrongs that i've done but i can learn from them and i can do the best for the future for my son and me.

you take care and soz if none of this makes sense.

 

[sammyroo]

hi Nat,

At my daughter's school, they have a counselling service where you can go and talk to somebody (an adult) if you are having any problems either at home or at school, especially if they are likely to affect your school work. They also have a mentoring system where any student who is being bullied can talk to a sixth former and get help. (This includes if other students are spreading malicious rumours about you)
Do you have anything like that at your school? If so, I think you should take it up.
If not, try to think of an adult you like and find easy to talk to, who will be able to listen without judging - maybe a youth club worker?

You really need to talk this through with somebody local who will, firstly, listen, and then be able to point you in the direction of any more help you may need.

Take care,

'sammyroo' (a mother!)

 

[kellyandpiggies]

I used to be a Mentor for some school kids in Coventry and have had training. If you ever need to talk, you know where I am