Unexpected death

[danuutka]

Hello all.

I mainly just want to rant, because I’m having a hard time coming to grips with the death of one of my piggies, because it was so unexpected.

We’ve just had to have one of our girls, Tilly, PTS almost out of nowhere. At around 4pm, she was fine - she was wheeling at the cage bars, begging for food. By midnight, when I went to feed them, she was weak, unable to chew/swallow and something was clearly wrong. We took her to the emergency vets straight away who had a feel of her tummy and found something they “didn’t like” (Tilly was at the vets a month ago and had an xray at that point due to a UTI/sludge and nothing odd was seen during this), she was weak, made zero attempt to chew when they looked inside of her mouth, and the ultimate decision maker was that her temperature was 32.9C, so essentially she was already slowly in the process of dying. She was also very sore around the abdomen, it’s about the only thing that made her have a reaction.

We made the decision to help her along the rainbow bridge, so as not to make her suffer any longer. From finding her in the cage to having her PTS was about an hour, so I think my brain is just really struggling to precede what has happened. Every other piggy that we’ve had to PTS has shown signs of deterioration over days or weeks, whereas hand on heart, we couldn’t identify anything with Tilly. In fact, she had only lost about 50g in a month, which considering what piggies are like does not feel like a lot.

I guess I just wanted to get this off my chest, because I’m really struggling

 

[Hano]

Oh bless you, I’m so sorry for your loss
It’s so hard when these things happen so suddenly, but please give yourself time to grieve and be gentle on yourself! You did everything you could and it sounds like Tilly had a lovely life with you. Big hugs

 

[DavRz]

I'm so sorry for your loss of Tilly. I know It's so hard losing these adorable little members of our family.

 

[Wiebke]

Hello all.

I mainly just want to rant, because I’m having a hard time coming to grips with the death of one of my piggies, because it was so unexpected.

We’ve just had to have one of our girls, Tilly, PTS almost out of nowhere. At around 4pm, she was fine - she was wheeling at the cage bars, begging for food. By midnight, when I went to feed them, she was weak, unable to chew/swallow and something was clearly wrong. We took her to the emergency vets straight away who had a feel of her tummy and found something they “didn’t like” (Tilly was at the vets a month ago and had an xray at that point due to a UTI/sludge and nothing odd was seen during this), she was weak, made zero attempt to chew when they looked inside of her mouth, and the ultimate decision maker was that her temperature was 32.9C, so essentially she was already slowly in the process of dying. She was also very sore around the abdomen, it’s about the only thing that made her have a reaction.

We made the decision to help her along the rainbow bridge, so as not to make her suffer any longer. From finding her in the cage to having her PTS was about an hour, so I think my brain is just really struggling to precede what has happened. Every other piggy that we’ve had to PTS has shown signs of deterioration over days or weeks, whereas hand on heart, we couldn’t identify anything with Tilly. In fact, she had only lost about 50g in a month, which considering what piggies are like does not feel like a lot.

I guess I just wanted to get this off my chest, because I’m really struggling

BIG HUGS

I am so very sorry that you have come up against one of these unforeseeable 'out of blue' issues that can kill in matter of just a day or two, hours, minutes or even seconds. They are nobody's fault; they just happen. If your vets didn't notice it, it was quite simply not there. A month equals very roughly to a year with a piggy's much faster metabolism. When that metabolism turns against you, there is not much you or any vet can do; it is too fast unless it can be easily removed in a make or break operation - which very often not the case.

Once a lump blows up, it can do so with frightening speed. Sometimes you can quite literally watch them growing; it can be terrifying as I know from my own experiences waiting desperately for an emergency op on the following morning.
The last time it happened to me was when Tudur's thyroid gland suddenly started swelling over the turn of the year. By the time the vets opened again on 2nd January the lump was already large enough to impact on the breathing/swallowing and any -faint - chance of an operation had long passed. It went from about 3mm to over 3 cm in just over 24 hours but I have had piggies with lumps that went over 5 cm in that time span.
If your vets haven't found anything a month ago, it was quite simply not there; whether that was a tumor or an internal abscess.

The other factor in play is that guinea pigs are wired to suppress signs of illness until it is - sadly quite often - simply too late. The symptoms you are reporting mean that whatever it was, was already affecting several organs and would have sadly been impossible to operate. Tilly held on for as long as she most absolutely no longer could so any - if possible - golden opportunity was already lost by the time she was showing the first symptoms because of her species wiring.

Your upset is a pefectly normal reaction to the shock and the trauma of an unexpected loss. It can take two ways: the most common one is inwards in the form of huge feelings of guilt or failure but sometimes it can latch onto a perceived failing from a vet and the same massive cloud of strong emotions will manifest as a mindless, targested potentilly killing anger because it triggers strong feelings of betrayal. This is why vets are the profession with one of the highest suicide rates when that personl anger is acted upon.

I know that what has just happened is hard to accept for you right now, but as a long term owner you come up against these things sooner or later, and repeatedly. They are nobody's fault. They just happen without warning, come up with devastating speed and they can happen at any age. And they can leave you quite literally shaking, in my own case, coming out of the vet clinic with a dead piggy in my arms.

Please try to be kind with yourself and with any vets who can only deal with what they get to see when they see it.
Contact the free pet bereavement platforms of the Blue Cross (UK animal charity) on Monday to help work out that cloud before it eats you alive or hurts somebody else.
If this is an option, do a vigorous activity of some sort in the interim to deal with the physical aspect of it; dancing to some energetic dark music, jogging or fast walking or even hurling a ball against a wall into a goal as hard as possible can all help you with letting loose and letting out on the physical side.
Pet bereavement and pet loss

My thoughts are with you.

 

[fluffysal]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Sleep well and popcorn high over the rainbow bridge sweet Tilly

 

[piggieminder]

I am so sorry.
Sleep tight sweet Tilly.

 

[LucyP]

So sorry to hear this.

Last month our 2 year old Mabel had a very sudden decline and despite the best battling by our very experienced vets, we had to PTS. I was beyond devastated and totally shocked. In our case the thing the vet found that they didn’t like was sudden and very severe bloat. She had literally been checked over the day before by vets and had no signs of it. 24 hours later she was suddenly facing a life or death situation. She had round the clock hospital care but it just wasn’t enough and in the end we had to let her go. I’m still getting my head around it now and second guessed myself a lot but in the end I do believe it was just really terrible bad luck. It’s very hard to take I know.

Do take care. It sounds like your Tilly had a good life with you and a thankfully short final ailment. But I know it’s still hard to take.

As someone kind on this forum said to me, if only our love was enough to save them, they’d all still be here today.

 

[Truffolo]

You were there for her throughout her life and especially in her last, fatal illness, a responsible, caring owner. The guinea pig's complex digestion enables them to thrive on sparse food, vegetation, but sometimes makes them vulnerable at the same time. Wishing you comfort

 

[CTWC]

I'm so sorry for your loss it is always heartbreaking losing them but as you say when it's so sudden with no explanation it is near impossible to get over

 

[danuutka]

BIG HUGS

I am so very sorry that you have come up against one of these unforeseeable 'out of blue' issues that can kill in matter of just a day or two, hours, minutes or even seconds. They are nobody's fault; they just happen. If your vets didn't notice it, it was quite simply not there. A month equals very roughly to a year with a piggy's much faster metabolism. When that metabolism turns against you, there is not much you or any vet can do; it is too fast unless it can be easily removed in a make or break operation - which very often not the case.

Once a lump blows up, it can do so with frightening speed. Sometimes you can quite literally watch them growing; it can be terrifying as I know from my own experiences waiting desperately for an emergency op on the following morning.
The last time it happened to me was when Tudur's thyroid gland suddenly started swelling over the turn of the year. By the time the vets opened again on 2nd January the lump was already large enough to impact on the breathing/swallowing and any -faint - chance of an operation had long passed. It went from about 3mm to over 3 cm in just over 24 hours but I have had piggies with lumps that went over 5 cm in that time span.
If your vets haven't found anything a month ago, it was quite simply not there; whether that was a tumor or an internal abscess.

The other factor in play is that guinea pigs are wired to suppress signs of illness until it is - sadly quite often - simply too late. The symptoms you are reporting mean that whatever it was, was already affecting several organs and would have sadly been impossible to operate. Tilly held on for as long as she most absolutely no longer could so any - if possible - golden opportunity was already lost by the time she was showing the first symptoms because of her species wiring.

Your upset is a pefectly normal reaction to the shock and the trauma of an unexpected loss. It can take two ways: the most common one is inwards in the form of huge feelings of guilt or failure but sometimes it can latch onto a perceived failing from a vet and the same massive cloud of strong emotions will manifest as a mindless, targested potentilly killing anger because it triggers strong feelings of betrayal. This is why vets are the profession with one of the highest suicide rates when that personl anger is acted upon.

I know that what has just happened is hard to accept for you right now, but as a long term owner you come up against these things sooner or later, and repeatedly. They are nobody's fault. They just happen without warning, come up with devastating speed and they can happen at any age. And they can leave you quite literally shaking, in my own case, coming out of the vet clinic with a dead piggy in my arms.

Please try to be kind with yourself and with any vets who can only deal with what they get to see when they see it.
Contact the free pet bereavement platforms of the Blue Cross (UK animal charity) on Monday to help work out that cloud before it eats you alive or hurts somebody else.
If this is an option, do a vigorous activity of some sort in the interim to deal with the physical aspect of it; dancing to some energetic dark music, jogging or fast walking or even hurling a ball against a wall into a goal as hard as possible can all help you with letting loose and letting out on the physical side.
Pet bereavement and pet loss

My thoughts are with you.

Thank you for your kind words.

Yes, I have absolutely zero anger towards the vets, they were amazing. I was more trying to express that even just a month ago there was nothing there (I’m trying to not beat myself up about not noticing any signs of illness in her), whereas this morning the vet felt something they “didn’t like” in her abdomen. I know the vets can’t diagnose without biopsies and imaging, so I presume what she meant was that she felt a lump but didn’t know what it was, but that she was concerned about it because of how it felt.

I’ve owned piggies for many years, have had many of them fall ill in weird ways, but this one has really knocked my socks off because of how sudden and unexpected it was. Tilly only had 50g weight loss in a month (which is minimal really, they usually throw weight off in hours). I literally found her in that state and within an hour she had been PTS.

Like you’ve mentioned, the guilt is very very present at the moment. I think it’s because usually I’ve always identified my piggies as being unwell way before they need to be put to sleep, even if it’s just hours or days. Usually in my experience I’ve ended up finding that they’re “off”, taking them to the vets and then being able to intervene (either at home or through hospitalisation), even if it ended in PTS anyway.

I’m so upset that I may have missed crucial warning signs, but then again I know that literally 6-8 hours prior she was running around the cage, wheeking for food, so I had no reason to do anything other than leave her in her cage and let her be a guinea pig. It’s just a very sad situation which has really wobbled me.

 

[VickiA]

I’m so sorry for your loss. Losses are hard enough when you have time prepare for them, but when it happens so suddenly it can really leave you feeling totally disorientated. I dropped my own hazel off at the vets for surgery one morning. She had been up at the bars demanding her breakfast, seemed perfectly fit and well, but a couple of hours later I got a call from the vets to say that her temperature had risen significantly, that she was unwell for surgery and asking me to come in. When I got there she was hot, floppy, and very clearly in a very poor way so we took the decision to have her PTS straightaway. I am still taken aback by the speed of her sudden decline so I fully understand how you feel. Go gently with yourself. take time to grieve her loss x

 

[CTWC]

Be kind to yourself all of these emotions are natural. I lost one of our boys at only 5 months old with no signs of illness he was fine one minute then fell onto his side and within 90 minutes he was gone this was in December last year and I still go over what happened and question everything

 

[weepweeps]

I’m so very sorry. Sweet dreams Tilly

 

[Wiebke]

Thank you for your kind words.

Yes, I have absolutely zero anger towards the vets, they were amazing. I was more trying to express that even just a month ago there was nothing there (I’m trying to not beat myself up about not noticing any signs of illness in her), whereas this morning the vet felt something they “didn’t like” in her abdomen. I know the vets can’t diagnose without biopsies and imaging, so I presume what she meant was that she felt a lump but didn’t know what it was, but that she was concerned about it because of how it felt.

I’ve owned piggies for many years, have had many of them fall ill in weird ways, but this one has really knocked my socks off because of how sudden and unexpected it was. Tilly only had 50g weight loss in a month (which is minimal really, they usually throw weight off in hours). I literally found her in that state and within an hour she had been PTS.

Like you’ve mentioned, the guilt is very very present at the moment. I think it’s because usually I’ve always identified my piggies as being unwell way before they need to be put to sleep, even if it’s just hours or days. Usually in my experience I’ve ended up finding that they’re “off”, taking them to the vets and then being able to intervene (either at home or through hospitalisation), even if it ended in PTS anyway.

I’m so upset that I may have missed crucial warning signs, but then again I know that literally 6-8 hours prior she was running around the cage, wheeking for food, so I had no reason to do anything other than leave her in her cage and let her be a guinea pig. It’s just a very sad situation which has really wobbled me.

If you haven't noticed anything, then there was quite simply nothing there to notice. It is a hard lesson I had to learn myself when dealing with the inevitable guilt once I had mastered picking up on the more subtle signs; usually the hard way. You are a very experienced owner after all but you have not missed anything and it doesn't make you a bad owner.

What you are currently reeling from is the sheer fact that you have been unable to brace when it all exploded right in your face so the shock has been total without any time to duck and cover your face. I totally feel for you. It can utterly whack you when your experience is giving you a false feeling of protection. Emotional airbag failure, if you want to call it that for lack of a better expression. It's not a nice thing to grapple with, as I know myself. Only time can heal.

Try to get rid of the immediate physical part of the adrenaline overload with some activity; you will hopefully feel a little better afterwards. The bruising and scrapes on your soul will unfortunately take a little while to heal but it is going to be a bit easier when you have been able to put things into a bit of a perspective and know where the scars are.
Still, please talk it out of yourself if needed to help your grieving process. It is a legitimate problem. It's always so much harder when the shock and the loss coincide but you have just suffered the extreme version of it.

The one thing I can say is that internal problems can be very hard to pick up because that is the area where guinea pigs can really suppress anything to an amazing degree. Rest assured that whatever it was your vet felt, it had come up very quickly, didn't feel right (as an experienced vet you learn to pick up on that, like adherence, texture and location) and it was clearly affecting the body majorly. Unfortunately, internal operations are nearly always a fail so it was absolutely the right decision to make especially if your vet could feel an area of adherence.

Please try not to beat yourself up too much because of the shock and try not to get trapped in that particular pernicious mind loop. No matter for how long and how many piggies you have had, they can still blindside you - and unfortunately they do so. It is the downside of keeping small pets.
This is your cat that jumped out from behind a car straight under your wheels moment. No chance to brake. In terms of how piggies can die without warning, there is unfortunately quite a selection out there. I don't think I am even near halfway through.

We went out for our normal shop two years ago. Teggy was happily jumping into the refilled hay tray and stuffing her face when we left. We came back to home not even an hour later to find her quite literally taking her last breath. No warning whatsoever.

You have done absolutely done the right thing by sparing Tilly the last hours in pain and agony an minimised her suffering. Sometimes, doing the right thing as quickly as possible is all you can do. It is scant consolation but it is consolation nevertheless.

Take your jitters seriously and give them their space but try not to allow them to take over. Try to find a way to let them out properly so they can't hang around to mug you again at the worst possible moment. Deaths like Tilly's have a tendency to bug you for a long time, the same as with a failed operation so be gentle with yourself and rmind yourself that it is nobody's fault; it has just happened and you did the right thing straightaway.

My sympathy and my thoughts are with you.

 

[Bill & Ted]

I am so sorry you lost Tilly, take heart she will have known just how much you cared and loved her. Sudden emergencies like these are a horrible experience for anyone, take care while you heal

 

[ThePiggletown2]

Hello all.

I mainly just want to rant, because I’m having a hard time coming to grips with the death of one of my piggies, because it was so unexpected.

We’ve just had to have one of our girls, Tilly, PTS almost out of nowhere. At around 4pm, she was fine - she was wheeling at the cage bars, begging for food. By midnight, when I went to feed them, she was weak, unable to chew/swallow and something was clearly wrong. We took her to the emergency vets straight away who had a feel of her tummy and found something they “didn’t like” (Tilly was at the vets a month ago and had an xray at that point due to a UTI/sludge and nothing odd was seen during this), she was weak, made zero attempt to chew when they looked inside of her mouth, and the ultimate decision maker was that her temperature was 32.9C, so essentially she was already slowly in the process of dying. She was also very sore around the abdomen, it’s about the only thing that made her have a reaction.

We made the decision to help her along the rainbow bridge, so as not to make her suffer any longer. From finding her in the cage to having her PTS was about an hour, so I think my brain is just really struggling to precede what has happened. Every other piggy that we’ve had to PTS has shown signs of deterioration over days or weeks, whereas hand on heart, we couldn’t identify anything with Tilly. In fact, she had only lost about 50g in a month, which considering what piggies are like does not feel like a lot.

I guess I just wanted to get this off my chest, because I’m really struggling

Oh No... that's just so sad, I'm very sorry for your loss. I can't offer any advice as to why Tilly deteriorated so rapidly, but I wanted to say how very loving and caring of you to make that tough decision to end her suffering.

 

[Merab]

I am so sorry for the sudden loss of your lovely girl.
You don’t get time to come to terms when death is so sudden.
Take time.
Rant, grieve, be gentle with yourself.
Hugs

 

[MnJ]

I am so sorry for your loss. All feelings that you are experiencing are normal and part of the grieving process.

 

[Freela]

I'm very sorry for your loss. Several times I've lost pigs who seemed absolutely fine within hours of passing. It's such a shock and there's no time to emotionally prepare. Grieve and rant as much as you need, you've had to make a tough decision that no one ever wants to have to make and you've lost a friend and family member. I'm pretty sure more everyone knows how much it hurts. And please know, you did the kindest thing to help her pass peacefully... it's so hard to be in that position but it's really the last kindness we can give an animal we love, to help them pass as smoothly and peacefully as possible even when it breaks our heart to do it. ((HUGS)) to you and I'm so sorry you lost Tilly.