sorry to rant, hope its ok to post this.

  • Thread starter Thread starter kat
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
K

kat

First of all i hope it's ok for me to post this on here. If the thread gets deleted i will understand.

Ok, long story but i will try and explain...
For a few years now i've been going through insecurity/depression etc. I have never had many people or actually one person there for me since a good while ago. I was always bullied at school which made me hating life but i never seemed to have many self problems then. However, from the day i left school i was stuck at home a lot due to motivational problems. I got a slot in college for performing arts (something i was totally excited about)! I started going into college eventually which was a target i set and managed to reach. But the problem is i've become more and more self consious about myself (probably due to how people have been with me in the recent past) also i find it very hard to get along with many because it seems that many do not understand my problems enough. Anyway i began quite desperate to finally talk to someone about this, just wanted a person there for me fully. Good thing is i now have this and this lady fully understands me which is great! However i feel my problems are becoming worse in some ways because, i am getting obsessed with the anorexia disease( I'm sorry if this makes anyone feel down about me mentioning it). The person i speak to advised me to see a doctor incase it gets any worse, but I'm afraid to. I dont know what to do anymore because i cannot get this idea out of my head that i think I'm massive. I have been very attached to mirrors for a while now and it just seems to be getting worse. I cannot wear what i want to wear and the majroity of my clothes make me feel huge when I'm wearing them. I dont know if this is all inside my head or not but many tell me I'm not big. I'm also becoming very strict over what I'm eating and refuse to eat full meals because i think I'm going to put weight on.
I just feel i need to talk my problems out because theyre often stuck inside me or maybe written on paper in my diary. I always like advise from people that have gone through this because i really do feel that its ovveruling my life and giving me great lack of concentration. I'm often very frustrating towards people, hard to understand but i try my best not to put people in that position. I only wish people could understand my problems and not judge me. I never feel i've been accepted for who i am and i just think that people have made me feel worse about myself. I try taking good advice in from people but truth is, i cannot always do those things because i think it will take so much time to get over this.
I hope you guys understand and again, sorry if it makes you feel in an awqward position by reading this.
 
I think I know how you feel... I never feel part of the group and dont feel people really understand me... I was bullied at school also and hate the way I look... mums got me going to see a phsyciatrist and ive been once so far... it feels goodto talk to someone... other than that I dont have many friends to talk about stuff with because i feel they wouldnt understand... I feel really upset most of the time and am very lazy! Do you have anorexia? I'm oppisite I'm a fatty ;D If you need to talk at all feel free to PM me :)
 
Hello there. Well its nice to hear that someone in the same position can talk to me:)
All i want to do is be able to help others and try and also help myself but it can be hard.
Likewise, i would always be happy to listen to your problems;)I dont want people to feel lonely because i always am here for people:D
 
Hi Kat

I would definetely recommend that you speak to a doctor before it gets worse or someone you can trust. I've seen photos of you on GPW and I think you look fine O0 But I can understand that it is more than that so I would definetely speak to someone. I had a friend who had anerexia and she had a few problems because of it, her periods went weird, she was sick physically even when she wasn't making herself sick, she was always cold and she caught every illness going. She was naturally quite slender but she used to have problems with eating too :-\. I was her support at college, but I do believe she is happy now as she met someone who loved her. She used to speak to three people at college about it, someone who worked with trainee airstewardess, another lady who dealt with travel students and the college secretary so I would definetely speak to someone.

I'm not quite sure why I said that as I'm unsure whether or not it is helpful or what.
 
It does help:) I assume that seeing a doctor isnt going to help because I'm afraid. However two people have advised this now and maybe if i had the disease id wish i hadnt. Therefore I'm thanking people like you because it may not get into my head..however i might just thank you people even more if i went to see someone as it may help me. I know that there are things in life we dont like doing but if we do do them they often do help in some way. And obviously i cannot just rely on one person in college because she isnt experienced in this. Still its nice to know shes caring, fully there for support me. Its just one hard thing to handle, having a eating disorder and i do kind of want to get over it because its horrible.
 
Yer it would probably be best to talk to a doctor... that way they can help you through this :) You'll be happy you have talked to them when they fix you and make you happy :)
 
It must completely control your life :'(

I really really hope you can get advice, I hate to see people suffer from these things. The doctor would also put you in touch with the right people to help you.

Good luck.
 
Yea, it always upsets me to see others in this position.
Itr also makes me feel the whole worlds closing in on me and i just dont know what to do. I also wander what a doctor could do here because i may not bond easily with just a random dctor.
 
Try getting a female doctor ? or if you feel more comfortable with me go for a male doctor... I feel way more comfortable talkng to female doctors ;D
 
Or ask him to refer you to someone else? That way you don;t have to tell the doctor much...
 
Yea, thats probably a good idea.
Yep me too, women in my eyes, are much easier to talk to. I once spoke to a man, but i couldnt talk the same with a male because they dont understand the same.
 
I'm so sorry about being bullied at school, i too suffered depression from my mum hitting me and people bullying me, but my confidence gained and i slowly overcome it, it doesnt happen over night, but start doing things you enjoy and make you feel better about yourself. bring your friends over, and yes cry, moan or be happy. as long as it releases any emotion trapped inside of you. Next pamper yourself. go out get a facial, hair cut, whatever that makes you make you feel happier with your apperance and shape. Speak to someone that can help, at school i had a 'learning mentor' who'd talk me through my problems, and kept me emotionally stable. stand up for yourself against ANYONE! or get people to if you feel unsafe, eventually you'll feel great trust me, dont give up on life, live it! :)

Pm me if you have any problems. x

hope you feel better soon natnat x
 
I'm sorry to hear about you being bullied at school. I was bullied to for years and years broke every bit of confidence i had and now i am left to build it back up on my own. I have eating problems i wouldn't say being anorexic but more disorderd eating on my feelings and such. I have had such picky disorderd eating for so long i don't even know how to prefare a proper basic meal for myself so still pick at things :(

I agree go talk to some one and get it all out. I botle everything up till i explode i never had any confidence to talk to people and i'm now 19 and i'm now 19 and such low confidence i never go out to clubs and such with my friends. So i think talking about this would do you the world of good and talk about your bullying to. Hope you get to talk to someone and feel bette soon :)
 
Thanks :)

Clare - yep women are generally more open hehe.


you, well thats what she is, but i see her more as a friend to be honest.
No matter what i feel like i feel I'm always being judged by it and its so annoying. If people could understand and try and see why I'm being how i am, I'm sure id be better. I believe people that go through this sort of thing are a lot stronger in time and yea its very true, i sometimes expect a miracle to happen here but it wont because i have gone through the hardest part of life with these problems. I need to play my part in this too, help myself because i know this person cannot be there for me all the time. Though i do feel i only have full trust in her. Not many others around here give me chance or they patronise/judge me over something. Trying to take my mind of this is one hard thing though.
Sorry to hear about those past experiences you both had however I'm glad you overcome them:)
As I'm quite new to this forum i dont know many of you that well, but i think this forum seems very friendly:)
I'm not as bad over going out alone...i feel free when doing so. I dont give a crap of what people think of me, these problems are mainly about myself. In some ways it helps me to get out and take my mind of things. But i still have times where i cannot even be stylish about what i wear etc because of what judgements ill get aimed at me.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top