My poem [please comment]

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lilgalnatalie

Hello, i wrote a poem today, just listening to some love songs and got a bit worked up. Before, i dont no if any of you have but you loved someone that dont love you and they hurt you in some way. And i wrote a poem about it.

Why do you always hurt me,
on days i love you the most,
has winter lets go of its cold charm,
you heart is the colder and no longer close.
As love begins,
our loves dies,
don't bother anymore,
dry the fake tears from your eyes.
Your words hurt,
and piereced a hole in my heart,
and my feelings for your bleed,
from finish to start.
Did you not know how i felt?
Or ignored it for another girl.
And as i write this my soul aches,
as you leave me world.
Never again to be trusted,
i've lost all faith in a man.
if only i had a remote
and rewind back i shall.
to the day we meet,
and i seen love in your eye.
And tape over this scene,
so you never entered my life.


Still trying to think of a name
 
i like that but it sounds more like an R'n'B song to me maybe "Why does it hurt" for a name?
 
I think it's a beautiful poem, not an RnB song. I'm constantly amazed by you Nat, that was wonderful ;D. As far as a name goes, whatever you feel like naming it, name it. I'm sure it will match it perfectly.

Kimmie
 
natnat said:
oh but i hate r'n'b!
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oh sorry :-\ it was probbably how i read it! i could imagine it being a good rnb song but this doesnt meen it is one!
 
Gosh very emotional well done love....
You're speaking from the heart, you should show the teachers, it should be put forward as a serious piece of poetry :) :) :)
 
Glynis said:
it should be put forward as a serious piece of poetry :) :) :)
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Do you really think so?
I always used poetry like story writng (which i also do) but in a rhytm.
thankyou.
 
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