Just need to rant...

[PiratePig]

I know I've not been here for long, but I hope you don't mind if I rant a bit....

I'm just so frustrated with life right now. I've been dealing with depression/anxiety for about 6 years now. I've been on a bunch of different meds and it is always the same story, they start off promising ( with the exception of one or two), then they just stop working. Now my doctors are running out of options. The only things they can seem to think of now are older anti-depressants (which have tons of side effects) or augmenting my current medication with either an anti-psychotic (which according to my dr were originally designed for people who see and hear things that aren't there), or with lithium (generally used for bipolar).

Most of the time I struggle just to get away from the line of thought that I should just be able to fix everything and be ok. Then today I made the mistake of mentioning all of this to my mother. She doesn't understand depression in the least and generally just makes me feel terrible for being on meds, but part of me still hopes that maybe one day she'll just listen and support me. But today was not that day and she started to lecture me about how I just need to get motivated again and that not having motivation doesn't mean I should switch meds. In the end I just felt dumb for trying to talk to her about it.

Of course all this is aggravated by some mysterious physical problem that, if I'm not on the birth control pill I bleed constantly. None of my doctors really has an answer for me. The only thing they seem to like to tell me is that I'm overweight and need to lose some. {:|Yeah, thanks, I hadn't noticed.

Sorry for the long rant...

 

[muffin-master]

Hmm, you sound just like me! I cant find meds that work unless they knock me out and with 2 children under the age of 3 i cant just be falling asleep all over the place. My dad doesnt understand depression and mental illness either even though my mum was sectioned when i was small as she had a nervous breakdown when her dad died. He moans at me all the time, I'm scared to walk out my front door on my own, and i need to have another mental health asessment about it. Your not on your own. Oh and my doctor said i needed to lose weight, he didnt put it so nice though, he said i was fatter then the girls my age :| But i dont care i no I'm big i dont skinny dip i chunky dunk! Be proud of who you are

 

[clairelove]

have you tried sertraline 50mg ? i found these work really well with out any side affects!

 

[Wiebke]

BIG HUG

It is so disheartening when you dear family is telling you to just pick yourself up and won't acknowledge that you are having a real problem (that might reflect badly on them!) instead of just an "bad attitude"... Sadly, mental health problems are still such a taboo, considering how many people are suffering from them at one point or other in their lives!

I hope that you can find some meds that will work for you!

 

[clairelove]

ive suffered with depression since the age of 14yrs old when i first tried to kill my self, my family now still dont take me serious when I'm depressed, and hubby sez well you need to snap out of it, if only it was that easy

 

[muffin-master]

ive suffered with depression since the age of 14yrs old when i first tried to kill my self, my family now still dont take me serious when I'm depressed, and hubby sez well you need to snap out of it, if only it was that easy

People who dont understand try to dismiss it as sillyness. My dad will never understand, my partner finds it hard to understand me me says I'm *miserable* all the time, as if i can just wake up one morning and feel like the happiest person alive

 

[PiratePig]

Thanks for your responses They certainly made me feel a little bit less alone! (((((hugs for all of you)))))

I'm very lucky in that my partner also suffers from depression, though at the moment it is mostly under control, so she is very understanding about what I am going through.

I've also found that having Athena with me really helps, because she makes sure that I wake up in the morning, even if it is just to through veggies in a bowl and crawl back into bed. It's nice having another creature to take care of instead of just having to worry about me all the time.

It is so disheartening when you dear family is telling you to just pick yourself up and won't acknowledge that you are having a real problem (that might reflect badly on them!) instead of just an "bad attitude"... Sadly, mental health problems are still such a taboo, considering how many people are suffering from them at one point or other in their lives!

Unfortunately, I think it is more than my mental health that my mother thinks reflects badly on her.... she seems to hate the fact that I would rather stay in with one or two friends than go out and "party" (read: drink)... and I still think that she is struggling to come to terms with the fact that I'm gay. I think for me, my depression/anxiety just makes the whole mother/daughter tension thing worse. But really... you'd think after awhile I'd learn when to keep my mouth shut:{

But i dont care i no I'm big i dont skinny dip i chunky dunk!

Muffin-Master, I may have to steal this saying. I love it!

 

[muffin-master]

Must be hard, but ignore the negative comments you be thr strong one. I dont know why parents can get so worried about sexual relationships, if either of my children were to tell me in the future that they are gay i really wouldnt mind, it wouldnt change who they are. I remember my mum thought i was gay as i could never got a boyfriend so they tod me one day and i was like oh okay then, haha i didnt care i let them think what they like rolleyes

 

[Wiebke]

It is very hard when you are very much a square peg in a round hole in your family, and it is very hard to come to terms with when your own life turns out to be so different from what your parents were planning and wishing for you - and sadly, for them you never cease to be a child...

I am by no means as extreme as you, but having grown up to be so very different to my energetic, outgoing, sportive and ambitious family, I can understand your frustration and your struggle well, having heard many of those completely unhelpful phrases myself during my own life! It also hurts deeply when the one person on whose unconditional love you depend is the one who does not try to make the effort to be supportive of you when you need it most.

But I am glad for you that you have found a partner who is able to give you what your mum cannot! Friends and partners are the family we choose! x)