just a moan

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tawny

take no notice of me i need to let of steam before my lad gets home >:( bloody school....life is hard enough with out them making it worse.

won't give you the boring story but thanxs to school and lack of communication my lad had an anxiety attack this week and had to stay of, got him back into school but his asthma took a real turn for the worse. so that has been two nights with out sleep this week. lastnight i woke up every hour to much on the mind i think.

i had phoned school this week and explained to his head of year what had gone on and he agreed he needed to fill in the teacher on my lads problems :tickedoff: what gets me is she should have been aware of it anyway.

my lad goes back in to school today only for this bitch of a teacher to increases his detention time.....sorry to all those that are teachers.

lucky for me my lad went to his head like i told him to if there was a problem, even the head had to admit that mart looked stressed.

I'm so annoyed they have no idea what problems they cause at home, i have tryed to explain to them.

sometimes when people have depression it is said on the outside they look perfect but behind closed doors is a different story :'( well that's how it is for mart.

every day at school is a big strain but he put on his front and copes the best he can. can u imagine doing science when you have a fear of hazard items(eg bleach) for an example and a fear of heat and flames and also doing cooking when you have a fear to heat and can't eat the food cause you have problems with texture and smells...
and also an eating disorder :(

doing pe when you have a sensory problem all these are things he tryes to copes with so well while at school because he doesn't want to be seen to be different. the stress of this is amazing and all i ask is for the teachers to think twice about how they deal with mart.

i don't ask for him to be let off with stuff and if he does wrong he has to take his punishment and that if i intervene it will be for a good reason.

all the good work with mart has been ruined this week thanxs to a teacher that ignored what i wrote in his homework diary, i wonder if she even knows that he is autistic, never mind the other problems he has.

the head has phoned me and warned me what has happened today but I'm the one left to deal with the mess that they have made.

the teachers reply to the head was you wouldn't think he had a problem to look at him :-\ that's the problem he doesn't look odd or act naughty if he did then maybe he would get help when needed.

like the education authorities told his primary school, he's bright and achieves, his social and emotional problems are not their concern cause they don't effect his school work and that is why he wasn't given extra help, isn't it awful that you get punished for being clever >:(

that's better of my chest now time to put a smile on and deal with mart, he should be home in the min.
 
no one because he is bright. his primary school wanted him statemented cause they saw what stress could do to him. it took them years to see the problem but in the end they couldn't ignore it and did all they could but it was to late.

now his at secondary school they don't make exceptions and it's all about you being independent, alot of it isn't the teachers faults they aren't trained to deal with special needs.

what happened this week is the teachers fault, they have the notes and have been told by the autistic teachers about mart, they even have letters from his doctor at the mental health group.

they can't see the problem so can't understand it, i can half accept them not understanding autism but we all know what anxiety is and what it can do.

i have fought with the help of his doctor to keep him off medication, he's to young to take anti depressants( if that's how u spell it) we try to help him by making situations easier and the school are mucking it up by making things stressfull.

his head of year is really trying to help but it need every one involved to help.
 
forgive me, I didn't mean a support teacher in his work way. I had one at school cos I'm in a chair - in case I dropped something or needed a push. :)

They weren't there to help me work, it was more the care side :)

It's awful that they don't have any special need training - I thought that schools had to have some kind?
 
he gets nothing cause in many ways he is able........ he is bright and learns alot by routine, if he has cooking i go through it with him at home, if he goes on a trip we always go through a procedure what to do if he gets lost or upset.

it's a weird one to explain, to meet him you would just think he was quiet, you have to know him well to see the problems. because he is bright he is very good at covering over and telling people what they want to hear, if you know what i mean.

with alot of kids like mart the problem comes out at home so schools think home is the problem but that's not true.... :( it's a simple case of while at school they go in to a concentration mode that gets them through the day but is awful stress full, when they get home they relax and that's when all the emotions are let lose >:D

mart is not naughty, he's not a saint but when i say problems at home i mean they go into themselves and won't mix, they cry or will sleep the clock around cause they are so stressed or it can go the other way and they don't sleep at all. :(


it is a mental problem i suppose and everyday people don't see it. there is learning support at school but they are there to help children that show problems in school, that's the best way of putting it.

it's like knocking your head of a brick wall and the only people that understand are the autistic groups and the doctors and other people who have suffered.

i know it's hard for schools but they should listen to the support groups and doctors. they have to stop this attitude we can't see it so it doesn't exist.
 
aww I understand. Not that I know, but have seen programmes on tv about autism and it has always been on about how people especially schools can't recognise the difficulty/situations that people with autism are in/have.

It's about time society changed. I really think they should listen more to you cos of course you know the triggers amd how best to deal with your son :)
 
ye if life was that easy................i just get mad cause I'm so proud how far mart has come, they said he wouldn't socialise or do alot of things and yet here he is dealing with loads of his fears and doing well in English which they said he was majorly delayed in.

he's worked so hard to overcome his problems i hate it when through lack of understanding and communication he gets knocked back.

he was so down when he came in to day, didn't tell me what had happened, i had to bring it up and talk him through it, seems OK now but i know when he has to see that teacher on Monday he will be worried and that worry will start on sunday.

if only these teachers could live with these kids they would think twice. don't get me wrong not all his teachers are bad and over the last year a few of his teachers have been a great help to him and have tryed to help even tho they don't understand his problem.

this teacher today has reduced his detention, the thing is she thinks she's proving a point but she's not. mart didn't hand some homework in he wasn't even aware he had to do it, kids like mart don't always hear whats being said because of noise around them. so you see he wasn't being clever or naughty he honestly didn't know he had to do it.

if she had felt bad to day like she said she did, then she wouldn't still be giving him detention. it just shows she still don't understand his problems even after the head telling her.

i will see her on parents evening >:(
 
thanxs for listening kelly, i need to get it all of my chest, just gets me down sometimes and i can't let mart see that.

:smitten: so thanxs
 
They really need to start listening then. Needs to be sorted out by the governors or someone - you know higher?

Not fair by any means about the way he is being treated. What if he was to go away on a school trip with them (overnight), actually I dread to think of the way they would handle the situation :(

I don't mind slapping some sense into her! LOL

No probs - people listen to me go on all the time! :D

:smitten: :smitten: :smitten:
 
People like that make me cross :tickedoff: I used to work with young adults with learning difficulties in a home, these guys are way worse than your young Mart by the sound of things, but it sounds like this teacher needs a rocket flown up her socket, get her sent on a course, the guys i used to work with ,well one of them was bright cheerful and very capable but he had a fear of clowns and crowded places and it was baby steps all the way.

People who didn't know these guys thought they were just being difficult, that makes me really cross, as they pass judgement on looks alone


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sending you a hug
 
What you mentioned about the 'not hearing stuff' - is it because the brain doesn't shut out all the background noise to let the important stuff be heard first? sorry about how technical I am..... not!
 
Poor kid, so much to deal with. It sounds like he is doing so well though!
I think if schools see that a child seems to be coping then they concentrate on the ones that are more obviously in need... so by doing well he has unintentionally put himself lower down on the list or priorites for extra help as far as they are concerned! Its not fair I know, and an unsympathetic teacher is bad news.
Sounds like you are doing a fab job too, least he knows he can rely on his mum when he gets home to talk things through.

Best wishes
xx
 
I'm so sorry about the way the school is treating you and your son. I work with children with autism here in the states (working towards my psychology doctorate), and I actually work in schools that are exclusively for kids with autism, so the support there is great. It is such a shame that higher-functioning kids who are able to be "mainstreamed" into regular schools don't get the same attention as we give to lower-functioning kids in special, private programs. It's great that you have had experts come to talk to the school about Mart, but it's a shame they don't seem to have learned anything from it! I hope you have found support with other parents in similar situations, including some great books out there (I'm currently reading "George and Sam" by Charlotte Moore), and, at least here in the states, i have encountered several families who have successfully taken legal action to get the appropriate attention for their developmentally disabled kids or gotten the state to pay for private school. Not sure how the system works in the UK though. Best of luck to you, you are exactly the kind of parent that I love to encounter in my work: strong, determined, and loves her child above all else.
 
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