It's An Outrage, By Eddi

[Swissgreys]

I just wanted to share the latest injustice in my life with all of you kind and compassionate people out there.

Today my slaves went here;


That's right - they went blueberry picking without me.
Can I just repeat that they did not take me along to a grassy field filled with heavily laden blueberry bushes.
Now if that doesn't seem unfair, then I just don't know what is.
Firstly if they had taken me I would have made the whole trip much better value for money - think how many secret blueberries I could have eaten.
Plus if there was ever an outing that has 'perfect for guinea pigs' stamped all over it, then surely this is the one.
I wonder if the farm offers Summer boarding for guinea pigs.


However I am sure that my slaves (who no doubt stuffed their own faces with fresh, sun warmed blueberries) will feel so guilty for leaving me behind, that tonight they will let me have unlimited blueberries for my dinner.
Except maybe the biggest slave. She is very dull and quite mean, and always saying ridiculous things like 'unlimited blueberries are bad for guinea pigs'.
Clearly she knows nothing about guinea pigs at all.

Love Eddi xx

 

[Veggies Galore]

Oh Eddi - I feel for you .....

 

[smokeysmummy]

Poor little fella. That's sucks Eddi Xx

 

[Katherine]

Eddi, you have all our sympathy. The cruelty and injustice of this episode is almost beyond belief!
Our slaves are just like this with lettuce, they only give us a mean little amount, and then try to fob us off with silly excuses about how too much is bad for us (nonsense, obviously!) We're convinced that they then go and make themselves huge lettuce sandwiches, and sit there scoffing while we nearly starve!

Lots of love from Cupcake, Ruffles, Phoebe and Flora.

P.S. We think you're very handsome!

 

[Pawz]

Oh Eddi, all the injustice!

p.s If you ever get bored of Oreo, Lucy and Ruby you are welcome to stay with me anytime. I'm almost certain I can convince the humans here to give up a few extra blueberries.

 

[Swissgreys]

Eddi, you have all our sympathy. The cruelty and injustice of this episode is almost beyond belief!
Our slaves are just like this with lettuce, they only give us a mean little amount, and then try to fob us off with silly excuses about how too much is bad for us (nonsense, obviously!) We're convinced that they then go and make themselves huge lettuce sandwiches, and sit there scoffing while we nearly starve!

Lots of love from Cupcake, Ruffles, Phoebe and Flora.

P.S. We think you're very handsome!

I nearly snorted coffee though my nose at the thought of you humans making huge lettuce sandwiches for themselves

Anyway I'm just off to add blueberries to every part of the evening meal, simply because I can - blueberries with roast chicken anyone

 

[Pawz]

Eddi...

I have a blueberry! Actually I have two. I was given them as my wheekly treat. I've been sad ever since Thor chose to leave me for Skaði and Sif. One of the big humans says there is a surprise for me later this wheek. I wonder what it could be...maybe it's more blueberries?

Freyja

 

[Critter]

Aw no Eddie that's completely unfair! You just can't get quality slaves these days...... xx

 

[piggieminder]

Aw Eddi that's so unfair. Our slave's mean too, she puts us in a run on the grass where we can see her picking our favourites, beans and beetroot from the veg patch - great buckets full. We don't know what she does with it all but we get a tiny little bit for our tea, not nearly enough. Time we guinea pigs got together and went on strike no more cuddles and definitely no more poop heaps for the garden. These humans wouldn't like that.
Love from Spike and Peanut.

 

[VickiA]

Oh poor Eddi. Not only do they show you photos of what you missed out on, they have the nerve to come back all sweetly smelling of blueberries just to torment you. I blame your Head Girl slave. I bet she tells you it's all for your own good!

 

[pig in the city]

Eddi, l would definitely up sticks and come to Sheffield, lovely strawberry farm just up the road and a devoted piggy slave in attendance xx

 

[VickiA]

Eddi, l would definitely up sticks and come to Sheffield, lovely strawberry farm just up the road and a devoted piggy slave in attendance xx

Oi @pig in the city - enough of your bribery with strawberry jam farms....We saw him first. Eddi - we have the lushest dandelions and wild blackberries.....come to Cheshire

 

[artcasper]

hugs Eddi.... you could have my blueberries anyday.... xx

 

[Swissgreys]

Thanks to all who offered me a wonderful home.
I am sorely tempted to pack my cardboard box and head on over, but I would have to bring the wife pigs - they bicker terribly without my calming and authoritative male influence.

Plus after careful consideration I have decided not to surrender my slaves quite yet.
They are slow learners, but they do have good hearts and are trying hard to improve.
Plus I am not the sort of pig to give up on them so quickly - when I adopted them I knew I was in it for the long haul - and I don't think it would be fair to just pass them on to another set of pigs so soon seeing as they aren't fully trained yet.

However your suggestions have helped me compile a list of the requirements for my dream home - a fruit farm with willow tress (eventually my slaves will realise it is cheaper to create willow toys for me at home than to keep buying stuff I destroy in 7 minutes flat), a very large and weed filled lawn, and space for our C&C.

Love Eddi