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darkest.dreaming

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Well after nearly two years of not seeing them, not wanting to see them(when our baby was 4months old OH's mum told my OH to chose between me and her!) i finally relented and was alowing them to come down to see our boy. This is after a few "we'll come down"'s then she will have a hissy fit and all will be cancelled. Guess what, she's done it again. But after nearly two years of telling my OH to cut them out of our lives he's finally done it without any pressue from me. Totally off his own back. It's a very long drawn out story so i wont bore you with the details, but his mum acts like a spoit child as all her life people have done what she wants. Well, i dont do that. If i tell you not to do something, and you go off and do it anyway, you can bleep off as far as i'm concerned.
So, 1st i pass my test for the police, then OH tells his family to 'stick it', as he said, then i get to take in two unwanted piggies. I'm wondering when my lucky streak will run out now! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
I've just applied for a new job so i hope my luck holds out until then at least.
 
hmm in laws,I havent spoken to my dads mum and dad for 5 years or more now

they told my parents they wish I had been born a boy..seeing as I'm the only grandkid they have I'm more or less invis to them
I wont be going to their funerals when they go,theyre no loss to me
 
my mother in law was evil she died in may 05 and its only now i can feel free of her she bullied me for 16 years and hubby did'nt believe me when I told him what she did and said until one day she phoned me up spouting evil things to me like my kids were not her sons and he did'nt want his kids and I made him have them, I was too posh and stuck up for him, I was forever trying to win her approval but once i got to thinking hey shes not worth it she turned big time against me, hubby heard her call on the other phone i thought he had gone out, when he came up I was crying in the bedroom and said forget it I dont want you if it means i have to have your family as well I'm moving away with the kids he said I heard it all and told me he said he just did'nt want to believe it of her but deep down he knew I was telling the truth so after 16 years of hell he phoned them back and said we are moving away and dont want any contact with you ever again she is evil and cruel, she found out we were moving to the isle of wight and she called him crying but he said too little too late, we never saw her again and even when she knew she was dying she denied him seeing her, we've since found out she was not only nasty to me but others making every ones life miserable, we only went to the funeral to make sure she was gone for real a truly nasty nasty woman with a wonderful son lucky me,
dont let it worry you, you are better off with out them, we are so much more closer since that day in feb 96, and like me your OH had to make the decision himself, good luck with the job, I'm going back to work next year after 25 and half years being "mum"
 
I think in-laws are sadly simply jealous of the woman that take their son/ brother "away" from them. As long as you have a loving, supportive hubby or partner, they shouldn't be in the position to cause trouble. Or at least it can be contained and stopped from causing unnecessary worry.

The most important thing is that they are not allowed to interfere with your relationship with your spouse :)
If they are a pain, keep them at arms length.
Just my thoughts and opinion.

Barbara
 
Aww what a pain! I really like and get on with my inlaws - all 4 of them! Hubby's parents split up and both remarried! :)

My parents get on really well with them too, more so then with our own family!
 
I made a conscious decision not to be like my mother in law to my boys wives and girlfriends, thank God they think i am lovely, and would do anything for me as i would them, I've even told my daughter in laws alcoholic mum that her daughter was a delight to have as a daughter if she didn't want her ,that made my daughter in law cry as she had not had nice things said about her before ( long story) her mother neglected her etc, I would never in a million years be like my evil hag of a M I L, and defiantly not like Pauline Fowler who is similar to my M I L, ugh nasty nasty >:(
 
Pauline Fowler..EWWWWWWWWWWW

I hope ill NEVER be like that old bat,but then again dads mum and dad are and i hate them anyway
 
darkest.dreaming said:
Well after nearly two years of not seeing them, not wanting to see them(when our baby was 4months old OH's mum told my OH to chose between me and her!) i finally relented and was alowing them to come down to see our boy. This is after a few "we'll come down"'s then she will have a hissy fit and all will be cancelled. Guess what, she's done it again. But after nearly two years of telling my OH to cut them out of our lives he's finally done it without any pressue from me. Totally off his own back. It's a very long drawn out story so i wont bore you with the details, but his mum acts like a spoit child as all her life people have done what she wants. Well, i dont do that. If i tell you not to do something, and you go off and do it anyway, you can bleep off as far as i'm concerned.
So, 1st i pass my test for the police, then OH tells his family to 'stick it', as he said, then i get to take in two unwanted piggies. I'm wondering when my lucky streak will run out now! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
I've just applied for a new job so i hope my luck holds out until then at least.
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OMG! You sound just like me 4 yrs ago! My OHS mother was a complete......! To me, when i was pregnant with our first child i had to move back to sheffield or i would have had a miscarriage, she was that bad, she tried all the tricks, first there was "leave her and move back home, shell get help being a single mum" then came she was suddenly ill and would ring the house at 9,10 oclock at night,crying..
So i moved back to sheffield to be near my support.And do you know ive visited her and every visit she ignored me, never spoke, never offered me a drink.So when i got pregnant with my second boy, i thought to myself you know what I'm a mother and i should have more respect for myself, why should i put up with this crap , i had never done anything to upset her but she just couldnt cope with anyone taking her baby away from her.So i said to my OH i wont be going to your mums any more, not to be ignored alday, if you have a problem with that then pack your bags n go.And for 2 yrs hed always made excuse for her behaviour but i was surprised and he stood up for me.I havent stepped foot in her door for 2 yrs now and my kids go to her house once a year,and the only one to blame is herself.
 
yup seems my dads mum was a complete bitch to my mum too just because mum was 4 years older,she always used to tell mum how to bring me up,his dad did too ...and one day mum just let rip at them and hasnt talked to them since,you would think that seeing as I'm the only grandkid they would make the effort but nooooooooo


i swear both those ratbags have 666 tattooed on their heads,now its got to the point where my uncle cant stand them either as they ruined his wedding by moaning constanly,dont those people ever learn?
 
don't get me started.
I have the mother in law from hell. we had a housefire in 2001 and she offered us her staff accommodation for the night of the fire but that was all. Then OH had a breakdown, when I feared for his life (suicidal) I wanted to call the Garda, she told me not to be so stupid and would send OH brother out to look for him.
Said that he would be fine and that I needed to back off ( she is the problem )
I worked for her for several years in her hotel. but she just took and took, our children were never part of the deal except my OH First son, The sun shines everywhere he is( but she has nothing to do with the other 4)

Told her where to get off in the end and OH backed me up thankfully.
This year is the first year that we have spoken but she is kept at arms length and I will not let her get any closer again

OH Dad is a real Gem and very helpful when he is here

Thank God my OH think my parents are lovely

I agree with Barbara
cavykind said:
I think in-laws are sadly simply jealous of the woman that take their son/ brother "away" from them. As long as you have a loving, supportive hubby or partner, they shouldn't be in the position to cause trouble. Or at least it can be contained and stopped from causing unnecessary worry.

The most important thing is that they are not allowed to interfere with your relationship with your spouse :)
If they are a pain, keep them at arms length.
Just my thoughts and opinion.

Barbara
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Karen
 
thankfully mine are lovely too :)

His mum has just offered me to try on her wedding dress if it fits me I would be allowed to wear it on my wedding (it was a very nice gesture, but thankfully I am a head taller than her and so dont have to find excuses why I dont want to wear it - its just not my style!)

they are very helpful, when my Lily was poorly and my boyfriend couldnt drive me to the CCT, they drove me down! Which is a six hours drive.. I was very grateful for that.

They also always keep newspaper and cauliflower leaves for our piggies, and support us in every way possible :)

I am looking forward to having children, because I know they are going to love them to bits and be ever so helpful with them - judging by how they treat our piggies :)
 
Well i've got a MIL (mother in law) from hell as well, you know i've never been given anything from any of the family that have passed on except for maybe a cup or too. BUT her daughter gets the jewellery and $$$. I know i'm the second wife but hey it wasn't me that did anything wrong, the first one left OH for another fella i came along about 2 years later. Told OH awhile ago i'm sick to death of always being the one left out, i'd like to pass on things to our kids one day. Trying to organise our christmas lunch was a night mare and finally OH told them that MIL and sister were 'control freaks' and always got what they wanted. Didn't go over too well, but we turned up and had a nice day as our kids get on well with all the others.
Daughter over heard OH's brother say thanks to his mum for the chrissy cake she made, HEY were's mine? Just another example grrrrrrrrr Another classic is she told me one time that i looked just like that nasty girl who was on TV the other day, you know the one she tried to burn down that house and kidnapped the child, LIKE THANKS how nasty is that?
There's lots of things also from when the kids were small but i'm trying to forget as they're getting older but boy oh boy it's hard to sometimes >:(

I think we should start up a club for the abused and forgotten DIL's (daughter in laws) but i'd prefer not to have those initials ;D :D
 
Well, it's nice to know it's not just me that has these problems. But it's a shame because it means there are really horrid people out there. Thanks for the replys guys.
I like the idea of a club, but like you said, perhaps a different name!
 
it seems a lot of us girls have problems with our MIL its so stupid because i have always been there for her son when she was'nt, but i do think its up to the OHs to make the decision of telling them a few home truths and like mine did breaking contact, since his mum died in 05/05 he has been getting on well with his dad, but i still keep my distance becasue he never tried to back me up or help out so to some extent I do blame him as well, if he had some back bone and stood up for us and told her she was in the wrong, but hubby always got on with his dad until his mum split the family up, I have since found outr some news about his mum that proves what a real bitch she was not just to us but almost everyone, family secrets etc
now as a mum in law myself i have learnt from the bitch what not to do as much as i adore all of my kids I would not think of them as being taken away from me they will always be my kids and no one will change that, so all you young mums when your kids get older give them some space, or you could end up a Pauline Fowler, lol
 
I was lucky, my mother in law thought the world of me and was always telling my OH he needed to look after me or hed have her to aswer to.....sadly she passed away in January this year and so this christmas will be quite empty without her......

On the other hand, my OH didnt get so much luck with my mum......shes just plain evil with the both of us.....wont bore you with the details, but over the years she has constantly made me feel inferior and has reduced me to tears on many occassions.

When we bought our piggies, she came over and said....oh no, why are you keeping vermin?

GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR JOB!
 
michellemuffin said:
but i still keep my distance becasue he never tried to back me up or help out so to some extent I do blame him as well, if he had some back bone and stood up for us and told her she was in the wrong,
that, so all you young mums when your kids get older give them some space, or you could end up a Pauline Fowler, lol
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That is Exactally how i feel. OH has 2 brothers. I got on with one fine untill one x-mas my name was left off the card. OH wouldn't say anything as he "didn't want to start the argueing again". Except we were argueing almost every single day and seperated for a short time over this whole incident. When he did finally ask about the card he was told by his dad that "i think your mum got to him". The brother is supposed to be in his twenties, you'd think he was 5! :o
None of them ever stuck up for me. I feel OH didn't either, well i know he didn't. We are due to get married next year and am planning to have another baby.
I'm certain of this, they will never see my children again. I will not have my son ask "why are they coming to see the new baby? they dont come to see me" :'(
Whenever pauline fowler is on screen i always made a snide comment. :) It was one of my ways of venting some anger. >:(
I've always had animals there for me to keep me sane and lick away my tears. :-* :'( Without them i could quite easily have gone loopy! 98)
 
I think mum didnt have another baby for the same reason,that she didnt want them ( dads mum and dad,I dont and wont call them my grandparents) to have anything to do with me or it and I dont blame her
I dont miss talking to them,and wont be sad when theyre gone,they blame mum for me not talking to them but it was my decision after they traeted me like I'm invis and said they wished i'd been born a boy,that bloody hurt
theyve never took me anywhere or spent more than £10 on bday pressies etc ( when theyre totally loaded with money),but then again I wouldnt wanna go anywhere with them ,they tried to " make " me be a bridesmaid when i was younger to their daughter when she got married by taking my fav teddy away into the car to bribe me by saying i wouldnt get it back unless I was bridesmaid,sorry but thats sick! i cried and kicked up that much fuss over it they gave up in the end

its their loss that i dont wanna know them,but you would think when I'm the only damn grandkid they will ever have that they would try harder,like i say...i hate them
 
Yep, i've been telling my OH that they are his parents. But they are nothing to do with OUR son. As fas as i'm concerned they don't even need to know about the next baby when we have one. Having one set of grandparents never hurt me. I have to protect my child, from physical or mental hurt, and thats whet i'm going to do.
One of my mates has been great, she was bought up by her grandparents, never saw the other set. Said my lad don't know them and wont miss them. I worry when he's older he'l say things like 'How come you never let me see them/ never let them come down?" It worries me that i'l look like the bad person, but my mate says just worry about it if he says it. It'l prob be a few years away yet as he's only 2!
 
amanda said:
I was lucky, my mother in law thought the world of me and was always telling my OH he needed to look after me or hed have her to aswer to.....sadly she passed away in January this year and so this christmas will be quite empty without her......

On the other hand, my OH didnt get so much luck with my mum......shes just plain evil with the both of us.....wont bore you with the details, but over the years she has constantly made me feel inferior and has reduced me to tears on many occassions.

When we bought our piggies, she came over and said....oh no, why are you keeping vermin?

GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR JOB!


vermin vermin what a bitch as if they are vermin think i would have told her she resembles vermin more then they did, and your mum sounds just like Lisa mother she makes her feel inferior all the time and treats her so bad I have made her stand up to her more and she is so grateful we all back her up I cannot understand why parents can do that, never ever would i treat my kids like that they are too precious
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darkest dreaming dont worry about your son when he gets older. my in laws did'nt see my daughter from around 5 months old and my youngest son was around 22 months old, they grew up hearing us talking about what bad people they were and knew they just did'nt concern us as far as family are concerned, I was totally honest with them and said it was not thier fault that their grandparents did'nt want to be involved with us at all, basically my 3 eldest was 10 7 and 4 and knew of them but hated them and my 2 youngest knew of them from us and the older three told them stuff and they did'nt know them so never worried about it, my parents are always in their lives as they live across the road from me they moved to the Island the day after I did as well, so they are their grandparents and only them, my grandparents on dads side died when I was a baby so I only had one set and they were the most wonderful people in my lives and i miss them daily, dont worry about your son you are protecting him from verbal abuse and making you feel bad and what child wants his mum to feel bad , dont ever argue about them then they are winning and certainly not worth it,
 
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