I’m so torn… 😭😭

[HillH]

Hello piggie lovers. I am just so torn. I have an 8 year old girl… she’s a cuy and just adorable. She keeps being poorly then being ok again. She’s super cute even when she’s poorly. We keep thinking she is going to leave us and has all the hallmarks, then she rallies and is ok again and eats and drinks and is absolutely lovely again (she’s always lovely). She’s had a couple of visits to the vet and we reckon kidney stones, but she passes them. The painkiller must have upset her tummy because today was just awful. She had diorreah and was literally covered in it and looking like she was very poorly again. I called the vet and booked to have her pts tomorrow as she just seemed so poorly. But tonight she has rallied again and purring and munching and now I don’t think I should take her tomorrow … this is just the worst thing ever.. I’m just torn.. I’m not asking for anyone to make a decision for me … I just thought there must be someone who’s been in this position and doesn’t know what to do for the best … she’s getting quite skinny now, considering she was 1.4kg.. she’s under 1kg at our last vet visit 2 weeks ago… my heart literally hurts for her … is she just old now and being old is really hard for her .. being pts seems harsh when she does rally and is happy … what an awful decision

 

[Wiebke]

Hello piggie lovers. I am just so torn. I have an 8 year old girl… she’s a cuy and just adorable. She keeps being poorly then being ok again. She’s super cute even when she’s poorly. We keep thinking she is going to leave us and has all the hallmarks, then she rallies and is ok again and eats and drinks and is absolutely lovely again (she’s always lovely). She’s had a couple of visits to the vet and we reckon kidney stones, but she passes them. The painkiller must have upset her tummy because today was just awful. She had diorreah and was literally covered in it and looking like she was very poorly again. I called the vet and booked to have her pts tomorrow as she just seemed so poorly. But tonight she has rallied again and purring and munching and now I don’t think I should take her tomorrow … this is just the worst thing ever.. I’m just torn.. I’m not asking for anyone to make a decision for me … I just thought there must be someone who’s been in this position and doesn’t know what to do for the best … she’s getting quite skinny now, considering she was 1.4kg.. she’s under 1kg at our last vet visit 2 weeks ago… my heart literally hurts for her … is she just old now and being old is really hard for her .. being pts seems harsh when she does rally and is happy … what an awful decision

Hi

HUGS

I am so very sorry.

You can always cancel the appointment in the morning if euthanasia is not feeling OK for you under the circumstances. Old piggies can be very unpredictable and some are such fighters, putting their loving owners on a proper rollercoaster ride. If you wish to go through with it to spare her any further bad days, then that is also OK since either decision is made with your beloved one's welfare foremost in mind. It comes down to what is more important for you and what your heart says.

PS: I am currently there with my Cerian who's had a major hiccup last August when I thought I would lose her only days after my other estimated 6 years old adoptee but from which she pulled out again. Cerian is now having an increasing series of off-times but has so far always come round again. One of these hiccups is sadly going to be her last; but as usual it is going to come down to whether the end comes naturally and quickly (seeing how frail she is) or whether she is in enough distress that I need to have her put to sleep (pts) as an emergency; especially if her arthritis is taking over.
Thankfully, my local vets are very accommodating and do trust my judgement as to what is an emergency pts after well over a decade of rushing piggies to them...
So I really feel for you being so torn and upset. You have done a great job of getting her so far but unfortunately we can never choose when, in which form and under which circumstances the end comes. All we can ever do is to go with the flow and try our best.

A Practical and Sensitive Guide to Dying, Terminal Illness and Euthanasia in Guinea Pigs

 

[HillH]

Thank you so much bless your sweet Cerian.. it seriously is a roller coaster isn’t it… we do have such long living piggies … my last one was 10 and she just went through a rapid natural decline and took herself off to her favourite spot and passed peacefully.. but this cherub is battling illness… and also has arthritic legs and a rumbling sounding chest. She does however still absolutely love her cuddles every day … thank you for your kind words of support. I’ve tucked her up with her heat pad now and will see what her day brings for her tomorrow. I’ve honestly never cried so much over one of my piggies

 

[Wiebke]

Thank you so much bless your sweet Cerian.. it seriously is a roller coaster isn’t it… we do have such long living piggies … my last one was 10 and she just went through a rapid natural decline and took herself off to her favourite spot and passed peacefully.. but this cherub is battling illness… and also has arthritic legs and a rumbling sounding chest. She does however still absolutely love her cuddles every day … thank you for your kind words of support. I’ve tucked her up with her heat pad now and will see what her day brings for her tomorrow. I’ve honestly never cried so much over one of my piggies

They can really get to you, can't they?

I am just blessing every morning Cerian is putting her head of her cave (with a round the clock snugglesafe underneath) or even waits at the grids in the morning. She's only skin and bones now and is on max metacam for her arthritis but as long as she is eating enough on her own, she has the right to keep going. I am however drawing the line at support feeding and unintentionlly keeping her going for longer than she would like herself.

The decision whether and when to pts can only ever be made by the owner; it is both a privilege and a heart-breaking responsilibity to get it right. If circumstances change and it doesn't feel right for you then you are always within your rights to cancel and free up the space for another emergency on the day; hence why I have asked you to call in the morning. It is always hardest when it gets really close to the line of no return but you do not need feel bad or guilty for cancelling because it is not yet her day.

 

[HillH]

Oh Cerian sounds so so cute. I’m glad to hear she can tolerate metacam. My concern is chocci clearly can’t tolerate it so her pain levels will cause her distress and unnecessary suffering. I’m literally going to take it a moment at a time and just try to keep her cosy and happy. Chocci’s breed apparently only usually live for about 3 years because of her size … so she has done amazing to get this far. She does the cutest little thing when we put her head pad in or give her her fave.. basil! She gives a little look back as If to say thank you …. And absolutely yes … they really truly can get to you

 

[Scooter Pie]

What's her name? Id love to see a pic. A cuy meaning the larger breed? 1400g for a girl (do I have that right?) is so big! She must be beautiful. And 8 is just amazing. Have you had her since she was little?

Anyway, no advice, just hugs. You'll know if it's time or not.

 

[HillH]

Her name is chocci and yes she’s a giant American and oh so beautiful. We have had her since she was just a few weeks old and she has had the loudest purr of all our piggies. She lost her squeak a few months ago but she still gives it a go but no noise comes out.

 

[HillH]

What's her name? Id love to see a pic. A cuy meaning the larger breed? 1400g for a girl (do I have that right?) is so big! She must be beautiful. And 8 is just amazing. Have you had her since she was little?

Anyway, no advice, just hugs. You'll know if it's time or not.

Thank you for your kind words

 

[Wiebke]

Oh Cerian sounds so so cute. I’m glad to hear she can tolerate metacam. My concern is chocci clearly can’t tolerate it so her pain levels will cause her distress and unnecessary suffering. I’m literally going to take it a moment at a time and just try to keep her cosy and happy. Chocci’s breed apparently only usually live for about 3 years because of her size … so she has done amazing to get this far. She does the cutest little thing when we put her head pad in or give her her fave.. basil! She gives a little look back as If to say thank you …. And absolutely yes … they really truly can get to you

Would your vet consider opioids like tramadol or something like gabapentin for palliative care? They are not licensed for guinea pigs though.

 

[HillH]

Would your vet consider opioids like tramadol or something like gabapentin for palliative care? They are not licensed for guinea pigs though.

I think I’m going to ask tomorrow. When I see her recover from each bout of poorliness and how happy she seems and how she loves her cuddles, it just doesn’t feel like the right time to euthanise her. But I also wonder whether I ought to spare her these bouts of poorliness where she gets utterly soaked in her own pee, doesnt want to eat and sleeps for hours. I’m torn with is she just old and this is what old piggies do… or is she too poorly each bout of illness and I need to stop this for her

 

[HillH]

What's her name? Id love to see a pic. A cuy meaning the larger breed? 1400g for a girl (do I have that right?) is so big! She must be beautiful. And 8 is just amazing. Have you had her since she was little?

Anyway, no advice, just hugs. You'll know if it's time or not.

 

[HillH]

Here are a couple of pics where you can see her giant breed. She’s an absolute beauty

 

[HillH]

Update … after a sleepless night of piggie worry.. chocci seems happy as this morning and I’ve cancelled her pts appt and asked for other pain relief. The vet will call me back later.

Thank you for the love and support and advice. I know her time is coming, and I know the right time will present itself to me and I won’t feel this torture when it does. You truly helped me yesterday and I’m grateful

Love to all piggies and piggy families

 

[Wiebke]

Update … after a sleepless night of piggie worry.. chocci seems happy as this morning and I’ve cancelled her pts appt and asked for other pain relief. The vet will call me back later.

Thank you for the love and support and advice. I know her time is coming, and I know the right time will present itself to me and I won’t feel this torture when it does. You truly helped me yesterday and I’m grateful

Love to all piggies and piggy families

BIG HUGS

The constant ups and ups and the relentless mind searching that can come with the end of life are very draining.

Please be aware that underneath it all you are already grieving. The grieving process doesn't start with a death but with the moment we realise that the death of a beloved one is inevitable. The good news is that you have to do your grieving homework only once each time and that when a loss finally comes under those circumstances, it can come as a major relief and rather as an endpoint to a journey you have made together, right to the foot of the bridge. There will still be the pain of the actual loss since every bond is unique and irreplaceable but a lot of the other stuff you have actually already worked your way through.

Don't feel bad or guilty about the feeling of being released from an unbearable burden and the minimal grieving compared to a sudden death - it simply means that you have done your grieving during the journey. You do not grieve any less overall but an intense journey with a terminal ill or very elderly piggy coming to the natural end of its life has simply different dynamics. And that you aren't failing your beloved one or yourself - in fact, the opposite is the case. Embrace the feeling of peace that comes with the goodbye, like docking in a safe harbour after a very rocky journey. You have earned it.
It's a lesson I have learned during the three years my dad battled terminal cancer with a prognosis of just half a year once the cancer returned. My dad was very close to dying several times during that period.

The hardest bit is when you have to navigate the narrow harbour entrance close to the end and when it can take several attempts, and you have to constantly readjust the course due to being buffered by high waves. Getting it right for your beloved one when you are so torn between conflicting emotions is one of the toughest places you can be emotionally.

 

[Merab]

So sorry you are on this emotional rollercoaster.
Holding you in my heart

 

[HillH]

So sorry you are on this emotional rollercoaster.
Holding you in my heart

Thank you so much she’s happy as can be today .. bless her little heart. I’m
Grateful for your kind words of support

 

[Scooter Pie]

She's beautiful and you're so lucky to have each other

 

[HillH]

She's beautiful and you're so lucky to have each other

Thank you I’m literally with my piggies almost all day every day as I’m poorly myself and at home so much. So they’ve been a huge part of my life for so long

 

[fluffysal]

She's a beauty

 

[HillH]

She's a beauty

Thank you. She’s so adorable. I absolutely love her

 

[HillH]

BIG HUGS
Please be aware that underneath it all you are already grieving. The grieving process doesn't start with a death but with the moment we realise that the death of a beloved one is inevitable. The good news is that you have to do your grieving homework only once each time and that when a loss finally comes under those circumstances, it can come as a major relief and rather as an endpoint to a journey you have made together, right to the foot of the bridge. There will still be the pain of the actual loss since every bond is unique and irreplaceable but a lot of the other stuff you have actually already worked your way through.

Don't feel bad or guilty about the feeling of being released from an unbearable burden and the minimal grieving compared to a sudden death - it simply means that you have done your grieving during the journey. You do not grieve any less overall but an intense journey with a terminal ill or very elderly piggy coming to the natural end of its life has simply different dynamics. And that you aren't failing your beloved one or yourself - in fact, the opposite is the case. Embrace the feeling of peace that comes with the goodbye, like docking in a safe harbour after a very rocky journey. You have earned it.
It's a lesson I have learned during the three years my dad battled terminal cancer with a prognosis of just half a year once the cancer returned. My dad was very close to dying several times during that period.

The hardest bit is when you have to navigate the narrow harbour entrance close to the end and when it can take several attempts, and you have to constantly readjust the course due to being buffered by high waves. Getting it right for your beloved one when you are so torn between conflicting emotions is one of the toughest places you can be emotionally.

Such wise and beautiful words. Anticipatory grief can be more powerful than the pain of grief itself. None of us like to see anyone suffering… especially such a sweet and helpless little piggie. So sorry for the loss of your father and the battles he had to bravely contend with. I lost my dad to cancer in 2019 followed by my brother to alcoholic liver failure a few months later. The grief journey is real and the suffering we witness stays with us even as the nostalgia replaces the sadness. Chocci is amazing today. Sweet and gorgeous as ever. I am so lucky to have such a cute piggie. I still have 2.. I did have 4 but the other two have gone… one was 10 years old.. they get treated like royalty in our house

Thank you again for your wonderful support. I truly appreciate it

The constant ups and ups and the relentless mind searching that can come with the end of life are very draining.

 

[Wiebke]

Such wise and beautiful words. Anticipatory grief can be more powerful than the pain of grief itself. None of us like to see anyone suffering… especially such a sweet and helpless little piggie. So sorry for the loss of your father and the battles he had to bravely contend with. I lost my dad to cancer in 2019 followed by my brother to alcoholic liver failure a few months later. The grief journey is real and the suffering we witness stays with us even as the nostalgia replaces the sadness. Chocci is amazing today. Sweet and gorgeous as ever. I am so lucky to have such a cute piggie. I still have 2.. I did have 4 but the other two have gone… one was 10 years old.. they get treated like royalty in our house

Thank you again for your wonderful support. I truly appreciate it

The constant ups and ups and the relentless mind searching that can come with the end of life are very draining.

Just try to hang on in there as best as you can, bless every good day that Chocci has and be as kind with yourself now and after Chocci's loss as possible. Make sure that you look after yourself with Mindfulness exercises in order to balance yourself out a bit.

 

[Bill & Ted]

Chocci is adorable and a little fighter! I hope you have many, many happy days together x

 

[HillH]

Chocci is adorable and a little fighter! I hope you have many, many happy days together x

Thank you. She truly is a little fighter. She’s having extra cuddles today and currently snuggled in her fave spot in a blanket on the back of the sofa

 

[Wheekallweek]

She is just adorable, what's big chunky piggy!
I'm so glad she's feeling a bit better x

 

[Freela]

((HUGS.)) I feel your pain, right now we have two hamsters, both elderly, both with health problems, and it's so hard to know what would be in their best interests as far as vet care and/or euthanasia. I don't want them to suffer but I also don't want to rob them of happy days... I figure when the time is right if I need to help them pass I won't have any doubt that it's the right time. ((HUGS)) to you and your lovely girl. I hope she bounces back and has many more happy days.

 

[HillH]

((HUGS.)) I feel your pain, right now we have two hamsters, both elderly, both with health problems, and it's so hard to know what would be in their best interests as far as vet care and/or euthanasia. I don't want them to suffer but I also don't want to rob them of happy days... I figure when the time is right if I need to help them pass I won't have any doubt that it's the right time. ((HUGS)) to you and your lovely girl. I hope she bounces back and has many more happy days.

Bless you. Thank you so much for taking time out to reply when you’re struggling so much yourself. We had hamsters and I had to have one euthanised in the end as she was suffering so much.. but some of these little rodents are so strong that they just keep going.. and giving us fur baby owners such a huge roller coaster ride. Hugs back to you. I hope you find the right thing to decide chocci is mostly fine again, although her breathing is rattly and a little laboured.. but she’s soldiering on, enjoying masses of cuddles, freshly picked grass and her fave treat of basil leaves

 

[Freela]

Bless you. Thank you so much for taking time out to reply when you’re struggling so much yourself. We had hamsters and I had to have one euthanised in the end as she was suffering so much.. but some of these little rodents are so strong that they just keep going.. and giving us fur baby owners such a huge roller coaster ride. Hugs back to you. I hope you find the right thing to decide chocci is mostly fine again, although her breathing is rattly and a little laboured.. but she’s soldiering on, enjoying masses of cuddles, freshly picked grass and her fave treat of basil leaves

Thank you so much for your kind words when you're also going through a tough time! It means a lot. I do really appreciate it. This forum is great for support, there's something kind about people who love little animals, I think. All the best to you and Chocci.

 

[CTWC]

Love to all you guinea patents thinking of you and she is beautiful They are loved all of them and they will know this take care

 

[HillH]

Love to all you guinea patents thinking of you and she is beautiful They are loved all of them and they will know this take care

Thank you so much