D
Darky
Today I held Tiger in my hands, stroking her chin and face, unable to see her eyes, as she laid on the veterinary surgery table. I didn't want to cry in front of my Mother, but I couldn't stop. The vet came into the room, but I couldn't look at him. I couldn't look at the needle in his hands, all I wanted was for her to lift her head and look at me, but she didn't.
I felt her go limp in my hands, and he moved her back, so she was sprawled on her side. I couldn't stop staring at her eyes. Her pupils were huge, and her eyes were so yellow and bright, she was so still but she looked so alive.
I hate this so much. I hate tumours.
I went to buy cake ingredients straight afterwards, standing behind my Mother as she spoke to the staff she worked with, whispering to them that her daughter's cat had to be put to sleep. When my brother and eldest sister got home this evening - they both asked how I was. I didn't understand why at first. Then Robert stood by me as I decorated the cake, just mumbling things. I know he was trying to make me feel better, but I didn't want to talk about it.
I never want to talk about this to anyone. I keep accidently mentioning her, and then I feel horrible for it. I got the spare pillows off of my bed to lend to my sister and all I could think was, "I don't need these anymore, Tiger isn't here to sleep on them by me. Who will wake me up in the morning?"
I just can't stop crying.
I felt her go limp in my hands, and he moved her back, so she was sprawled on her side. I couldn't stop staring at her eyes. Her pupils were huge, and her eyes were so yellow and bright, she was so still but she looked so alive.
I hate this so much. I hate tumours.
I went to buy cake ingredients straight afterwards, standing behind my Mother as she spoke to the staff she worked with, whispering to them that her daughter's cat had to be put to sleep. When my brother and eldest sister got home this evening - they both asked how I was. I didn't understand why at first. Then Robert stood by me as I decorated the cake, just mumbling things. I know he was trying to make me feel better, but I didn't want to talk about it.
I never want to talk about this to anyone. I keep accidently mentioning her, and then I feel horrible for it. I got the spare pillows off of my bed to lend to my sister and all I could think was, "I don't need these anymore, Tiger isn't here to sleep on them by me. Who will wake me up in the morning?"
I just can't stop crying.
