Hopefully this will make you guys laugh, but I'm here to tell you the tale of how I traded my life for a broom just now
So there I am chopping the guinea pigs vegetables in the kitchen, headphones on, normal evening so far.. when out of the corner of my eye I see something move, it's probably a moth right? Plenty of those around! So I carry on, until something that can only be described as a small zeppelin flew under the lights and everything briefly went dark, turning around I am now face to face with a bloody great hornet! Let me tell you, i've never run so fast in my life..
Now, I like bugs, don't get me wrong, i'll catch and return most of them to the outdoors, even wasps! The thought of killing them never crosses my mind. But here I am with my face pressed up against the glass in the kitchen door trying to figure out how to get rid of this damn thing. So I make a break for the back door, throw it open and run back to cover behind the door. Does it leave? No..of course not
Sat and watching him for a good 10 minutes zooming about the kitchen, a few times I braved a peek around the door to get a better look to see if I could shoo this thing back outside, but every time I stick my head in the room it dive bombs me. After a while, everything goes quiet and I figure he's found his way out the door by now, surely. So I go in, shut the door behind me, broom in hand and start poking things all around the kitchen to make sure he's not hiding in or behind anything, nothing moves and I can't hear buzzing anymore. So, I go back to chopping my veg...which clearly offended the little home invader and the buzzing starts again, no idea where from and I didn't stick around long enough to find out! Another 5 minutes pass and I peer around the door again to find him sitting on the light fitting just wandering about, luckily I had to good sense to leave the back door open.. so I take a deep breath, broom in hand and tell myself I'm a grown adult and need to go handle this thing.
I'm stood there, bristles of the broom against the lights waiting for him to walk onto it, which after a few tense minutes and almost dead arms, he does (YAY!..Kind of) So now I'm stood there with a good 2 inches of concentrated rage on the end of a broom that might fly at me at any minute, so I do what any sane person does and walk fairly calmly and quickly to the back door and launch my broom and said hornet out into the darkness, hopefully never to be seen again, and slammed the door shut behind it. He's welcome to the broom.. I don't want it back